"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"
You Know You're A Nurse When...
1. You switch your phone clock to military time.
2. When someone tells you what to do, you start repeating everything back, write it down and then sign it.
3. You sign your credit card slip at the grocery store with "R.N." at the end.
4. When a family member spills milk in the kitchen, you start explaining the "protocol" and "policy" of how to correctly clean it up.
5. You can recite the number for your hospitals Pharmacy in your sleep.
6. "Mars" to you is not a planet. It is a Medication Administration Reference Sheet.
7. When you tell your kids to do something quickly, you follow it with a STAT afterwards.
8. You watch Grey's Anatomy for the comedy of it all rather than the drama.
9. If you need advice from a friend, you actually catch yourself writing the reason why down on a piece of paper, because you need to "consult" them....
10. The sound of a big loud fart is music to your ears from a post-op patient!
11. You can talk about open hearts, brains, spilling guts, and different kinds of poop and vomit at the lunch break table and nobody minds.
12. You constantly hear IV ring-a-dings.....even when you go home, in the grocery store, at the movies...it becomes a conditional response where you jump up and automatically try and hunt down the ringing that doesn't even exist and people think you're nuts!
13. You dream all night about work. Unintentionally.
14. You have dreams that 10 hours of your shift has gone by and you haven't seen any of your patients yet.
15. You have dreams that You have an invisible patient under your care and you never saw or took care of her....because you didnt know she was even yours. Because she was invisible. Legit. I had this dream.
16. When someone says they are going to "IM" you, you run away screaming while covering up your thighs and buttocks.
17. You catch yourself counting pills after you take one out of a container at home.
18. You catch yourself throwing around abbreviations like "PRN" and "Q" in your daily communication at home and don't understand why everyone is looking at you funny.
19. When you hear the song "Stayin' Alive" you can't help but think of CPR.
20. When you give your friend or child something to drink, you automatically calculate the amount of mL.
21. When you leave an elderly citizen alone at a party or social gathering, you automatically look for where the call bell is to leave for them.
Keep checking, I'll always be adding more!!