Eur-A-Pee'n Reflection

So, now that I've been going through all my photos from the trip and started to get acquainted with America, it is finally time to reflect on everything that I have learned about the world, about America, and most importantly, about myself. I wouldn't exactly say the trip was "life changing" and I am certainly not part of the stereotype "go to Europe and come back a totally different person with all these worldly views" on world peace and monkeys and everything. But I still learned a lot.

It actually did not occur to me, pre-Europe, that I would learn anything about myself while travelling. It wasn't until chatting with my Auntie Lin mid-trip when she asked me, "So, what have you learned about yourself so far?"

I thought it was the strangest question.....learned about myself? Like How? What would I have learned? I sat back and thought about it and the first answer I could come up with was that based on the craziness and lack of sleep that had already gone down on the trip, I knew I was not well suited for a future life of adventure, craziness and lack of sleep (i.e. the military). But I desperately wanted to give her an answer that represented something positive and good about myself, rather than the pessimistic answer I just gave. So I told her I needed to reflect and think about it some, and so- here it is. So much reflecting its almost nauseating!

So I'm not sure what order to put these in...most important to least important? Vice versa? Do you not care? Ok good. I'll just put them in any order as I think of them. Keep in mind that some things are really rather small and rather common sensical but prior to this trip I was severely lacking in common sense, so these are still big achievements for me. Don't judge.

1) If you give me a map, of the city and of the subway system, I can now safely and effectively navigate any city! Woot! This is nice because before I felt nauseous when trying to understand NYC's metro and street names and yadayada and now I feel like I could probably do it just fine after surviving Paris and London and Amsterdam...

2)  I learned how to effectively calm myself in high-anxiety situations. I got lost (very lost) a couple times and on the inside, wanted to completely freak out. But that wouldn't solve anything. At home I am used to relying on people. If I have a problem, I call my dad or mom. If that doesnt work, I call a friend to come help me. If no one can help me, I can turn to my iphone which has internet everywhere and the internet can get you out of almost any sticky.  I can't exactly say I'm used to solving problems on my own. But being lost in Europe- my dad or any friend at home can't do squat for me, and in Europe I had no International Internet. So I learned how to calm myself down, and try breathing, and looking for clues to get me out of being lost. I learned that if you calm down and rationalize, things start to make a lot more sense. Even tiny clues help, and paying attention the first time can help you later when you are really lost. You have to just sort of turn on all the switches in your brain and use all thinking capabilities...its pretty cool. And well....I got home each time, didn't I? By myself?  No matter how bad a situation, it will always be over eventually. There is always a way, a solution, you just have to keep looking. This was really important for me to have learned. I feel a lot more confident and less helpless now as a person, and feel a lot more confident travelling around the world and in my own country.

3) I can definitely not under any circumstances ever think that it is ok for me to eat pizza. It will never be a good idea, even if it is from Italy.

none!

4) I learned that I can live out of a suitcase and backpack and purse! You may find this funny but I find it interesting....At home I have a whole room full of stuff and I always think that everything in that room is critical to my survival....until you realize you are just fine doing with the bare essentials for two weeks. I think with the ability to have washed my clothes in that suitcase, I could live with what I just lived with for a whole month....or maybe even year, who knows. I can see how backpackers do it now. Human survival doesn't need as much as I thought it did.

5) I have this weird obsession with taking pictures of cool signs, and cool messages people wrote with graffiti or something....I like signs. I also really seem to like windows. Particularly windows with flowers. I don't know why. I mean, windows are nice, but they aren't fantastic...regardless, I have a lot of window pictures.........

6) I learned I have an extremely weak immune system. Why did I become a nurse? Good question.

7) I learned that I will never have a good relationship with most food. I really dread meal times and although I love to EAT, and am always hungry, I dislike or can't eat so many foods now that it has become a daily (three times a day) struggle on feeding myself and this is extra hard while travelling....abroad.

8) Europe is so environmentally friendly! I mean, go Europe! Good job! You save the world! America could really use some pointers in this field.

9) I have really learned how to be extra aware of my personal belongings. I am used to being able to just waltz around my town without having to worry about pickpockets. But thanks to my tour guides constant reminders of pickpockets and SIGNS on the STREET (this was weird!) to beware of pickpockets, suddenly I knew I couldnt just waltz down the street. I had to be really aware of my bag at all times. It also created this OCD thing in me, see number 10. But I learned to hold my zipper on my purse. If I'm holding my zipper, you can't get in, eh? Eh? Good, I know. I also put my coat over my purse a lot too. Not stylish at all, but...it worked.

10) I learned I have this strange OCD thing about zippering things. Like when I am on bus rides or planes or trains, or just walking down the street, I think of these weird things that I hope I remembered, and I find it absolutely necessary to unzip all of my zippable  compartments on my backpack and purse until I find that item, and if I can't find that item, I have extreme anxiety. I'm almost positive I drove my bus mate, Drew, crazy because I couldn't sit still and I did a lot of zipping and unzipping, and lifting my bag up and back down and then more zipping, fussing, checking, re-checking....poor Drew. I also noticed I have extreme anxiety with thinking something happened to my personal belongings in my purse, despite my valiant efforts to protect them while holding the zipper.  Example:  I walk down a street. I suddenly remember I have not physically felt or seen my iphone in over 20 minutes. I HAVE to stop and check to make sure I have it. Okay, I have it. And my camera. Move on......holding the zipper, walk down the street again, still holding that zipper, no one can get in. Suddenly I feel the urge to check again.

What if the purse got a hole in it during that small walk?

I seriously need Xanax.

11) I learned how not to act and look like a tourist...as much. I still probably looked American but I tried really hard to not be annoying. I did a lot of independant exploring and I think that was the best part about the trip, and the number one way of how not to be an annoying tourist!

12) I still want to learn more languages, but its a LOT harder than I previously thought.  German, for instance is going to be exceedingly harder than it should be.

13) I NEED ICE IN MY FRIGGEN DRINKS, OKAY? Call me spoiled, fine. Needy? Whatever. American? YES. BUT I LIKE MY DRINKS COLD! WHY IS THAT WEIRD! WHY ARE ALL EUROPE DRINKS WARM! GET ICE. I love your culture, I do, I really do- But refrigerators are friendly, I swear.

Refreshing!

14) Paris is really dehydrating.

15) A lot of people my age suffer from the same embarrassing health problems as I do, but no one likes to talk about it. I never knew this before, until I spent a lot of time with the same people, like this trip. For example, when you first meet a group of people, that is definitely not something anyone wants to talk about. But after spending 24/7 (literally) with everyone after a week or so, you start noticing these things about each other and opening up about it. A lot of times I would mention I was nauseous and that gave permission for 6 other people around me to reveal THEY are nauseous too. I also found a friend that had almost the same exact health issues as me, and I never would have guessed it by looking at her. I guess were all good at hiding it. I just wish we could all be open about it so no one had to hide!

16) My tour director deserves all the credit in the world, being responsible for 42 stupid college kids. Do all 27 year old tour directors look like they might cry after two weeks?

Most important and last but not least....

17) America is pretty darn awesome. I have wanted to high tail it out of America for the longest time now. I was so dead set on moving out of this country because I was so sure America was doing everything wrong and that Europe had all the answers. Well, after travelling to Europe, although it was fascinating and gorgeous, it was not a magical place with unicorns and happy leprechauns and rainbows either. Europe has plenty of their own crap going on, and is a lot like America...except across the ocean. Although Americans to carry a negative reputation at times in Europe, I still felt a strong sense of patriotism when walking down the European street having so much fun with my American friends.  We would see how another culture does one thing, and we would show them how we do it, and be proud. We do a LOT of things wrong, but we do it together and we have fun. Were a pretty good country after all and I don't have any intentions on moving away anytime soon. Plus, I like ice way too much.



To wrap it all up, I am going to have a little award show. Get Ready. These are very well thought out and went through a very intense grading system!

Favorite Meal: Innsbruck, Austria
Favorite City: Paris
Favorite People:  Paris
Favorite Architecture: London
Favorite Culture: Amsterdam
Favorite overall food choices: London

Yay!


Overall, it was amazing. I want to go back, of course. But next time I would like to go back with perhaps a specialized photography tour of older people, like its a requirement to be a graduate of college. I made some amazing new friends and had a lot of crazy fun, but I realize now that the typical drinking-college scene just isnt for me and I would have had a lot more fun In Europe with older 20 somethings or 30 somethings. One day, I can go back, perhaps with just 2-3 people. I definitely want to go back to Paris and London!

Thanks for reading. This was a lot longer than intended. I wasnt expecting 17.

~A Writer in a Nurse's Body

From Cloud Nine to Breakdown

So, today was our day in Venice, Italy. It was…….well, Venice itself was surreal, amazing, magnificent, tremendous(ah, new adjective, yes!)…But, my day was not as good. It started out by me getting on the bus and realizing I left my backup camera battery sitting in its charger back in the hotel room, and my first battery was on its last leg, after having surviving two full days and a bus ride with lots of pictures, AND taking pictures at night AND taking pictures with special effects. I just KNEW that it was gonna die within the first ten pictures in Venice. So, I hate to be a Debbie downer but breaking it down by reasons I came to Europe, it goes like this: Photography 60%, Experience 20%, London 18%, Meeting new people1%, and trying new food 0.5%. So , you can see that photography was a major portion of this trip stimulus and reason for going, and is really important to me. So, upon arrival to Venice I was in a sour mood knowing my camera would not be working with me. These types of things have happened before, for whatever reason (forgot it, battery, memory card full, etc.) and each time, I would rather NOT go to Venice than go without a camera, because it is so painful. It tears my heart when I see magnificent pictures with my eyes, and each time I reach for my camera. Tears. My. Heart. People just don’t get that. You don’t get that unless you’re a photographer. Luckily, I had my handy dandy iphone and it was at 100% battery charge. So, it was me and the iphone that day. I LOVE my iphone camera, it has the best camera out of all previous phones, and has exquisite editing techniques. However the zoom does not impress me and you just don’t get that photographer-feely thing of taking a shot with your actual high-tech camera. But- the iphone pulled through even still, and I still took about 250 pictures and looking through after, they are still just as magnificent as they would have been on the camera. So it all worked out.

So on the way to Venice on the 30 minute ferry I realized that despite sleeping well the night before, I was exceedingly tired and even fell asleep on the ferry. For those of you that know a lot about me on a  really personal level, you know that this is not good. I shrugged it off and we arrived to Venice, as happy clams. We started walking around for a sightseeing tour. As the tour was ending I realized that my throat was really starting to hurt. Rather than opt for personal free time in venice as originally planned with my camera, I changed my mind to stick with the tour director and group in case anything were to happen. This worked out beautifully as by doing this we went to a beautiful glass-blowing demonstration (saw how beautiful exquisite glass is made), a lace demonstration, and went to an authentic Carnivale mask shoppe, famous in Italy. However through all this my throat was getting progressively worse to the point of it being largely uncomfortable to swallow. It was also getting  uncomfortable to breathe, and it was then I was afraid I was coming down with the flu or something, despite my best efforts to maintain perfect health on the trip thus far.

At this point I realized I needed four things desperately: Food I could eat (I hadn’t eaten yet that day because of my newfound realization I could NOT eat Italian food), Any kind of multivitamin to boost my immune system, internet access (It had been like 5 days at this point and I was starting to feel really disconnected from loved ones), and I needed somewhere to just sit and recoup. So, I started at the beginning. My tour guide let us loose for free time for the rest of the day (5 hours), and we were “stuck” in Venice as we could not cross the ferry ride alone back to hotel. I flagged down my tour guide and asked her to help me find something I could eat, being that she could translate to the food services to get me something without cheese or tomatoes. She luckily found me a type of sandwich I had never heard of, with white bread, egg, ham and mayonnaise. Easy and simple enough. This is good because I got my protein in from the egg. She then also found me a big bowl of fruit, God bless her.

After that she needed to meet up with some others, but directed to two other things I needed most: A pharmacy and ANY source of Internet.

It just so happened that I found the internet café first, and came down the desperate-American level to pay for internet access, at 2.50 Euro for 15 minutes. I immediately ran to my assigned computer and went straight to facebook to update everybody, and try and talk to my dad, but he wasn’t there. I also couldn’t remember my blogger login in all my boggled mind, nor either of my email logins. I just couldn’t think clearly and really just wanted any contact with someone back home. So, in order to remain under 15 minutes, I got off when  I could do no more on the internet, and was on my way, defeated.

I found a pharmacy next, or a “farmacie”. I remember reading in my guidebook beforehand that pharmacists are looked upon very highly throughout Europe. People often go to their local pharmacist first for their problems, and he gives them whatever they need. He then is often the one to decide if the person should seek further medical attention or more medicine. I think this is GREAT, because it cuts out all the stupid visits in America where people go to the doctor for the smallest things and waste valuable money. So knowing this, I knew the pharmacy was the best place for me. However, being that I was in a back corner of Venice and out of the general tourist locations, everything was in complete Italian, and I didn’t even recognize any common brands. This is where the cool part comes in….I went directly to the pharmacist and told him IN SPANISH! That I was feeling ill, and needed some immune support (i.e. Vitamin C) and that I had a sore throat. He gave me a mega dose of Vitamin C that I could put in my water, and sore throat with some sort of “disinfectant” (that’s how he put it) to “get rid” of whatever bacteria may be in my throat. So I thankfully took them and went to go sit outside in a more touristy area. So at this point I got everything I needed, I just needed time to recover.

Being wary of taking drugs I don’t know, and in a country I am not familiar with, I tried to read the labels…in Italian, for drug information for how much in a 24 hour pd and what the maximum was, because I wanted to take the maximum. However Italian was a lot more different than Spanish than I’d prepared for, and couldn’t make out much.  I took one VC, and had a throat lozenge, with a full glass of water. Call me crazy but I started to psychologically feel better knowing the Vitamin C was in me starting to do its fighting work. I sat on a major famous fountain thing, with millions of others and just waited. An elderly gentleman came to sit next to me (another special moment!) and I said confidently, “Ciao!” With a smile. He said it back, with a great smile, and told me in Italian that it was so hot out and that the stoop we were sitting on was also very hot. I agreed, with a smile laugh and smile, without letting on that I couldn’t exactly speak Italian back. He then said a much longer phrase that I had no clue what it was, and again I just nodded in agreement. We were both then silent for a good while, and I realized I was feeling well enough to get up and walk around and take some more pictures. I turned back to the gentleman and wished him a good day in Italian and he returned it! It was just very sweet.

We then got back together as a major group, and all went on a gondola ride. If that doesn’t scream Venice, Italy, I don’t know what does. It was like what I always pictured Venice to be: Gondola. Our gondolier even sang for us! It was about a 45 minute ride, I was able to sit down, got some great pictures with my friends, and he took us to the sea as well. Perfect. It was a perfect opportunity to rest a little and not miss Venice’s perfection due to feeling ill.

I got myself a Gelato (SO GOOD! ITS ITALY!) which felt really nice on my now mentholated throat. After walking around for about an hour, I started to develop a strong headache and nausea, which I attributed to the heavy dose of vitamin C on an empty stomach. I re-read the ingredients of the Vitamin C and realized it had aspartame AND sodium bicarbonate in it, both of which cause me migraines from drinking soda. So, good. I basically just drank a large amount of soda, had a large migraine, nausea, a sore throat, was exhausted, and couldn’t breathe….all in the middle of beautiful Venice. I couldn’t believe any of this was actually happening to me, everything I tried so hard to prevent. I attributed it all to not getting enough sleep on the trip thus far, staying out late, getting up early, not sleeping on bus, etc. I realized at this point that although I would love a life of adventure, I don’t think my immune system can handle it if it means not getting a consistent and lengthy amount of sleep every night. Bummer.

So again I sat down on my trusty fountain, while guarding my belongings from quick theft, but also sitting in a way I wasn’t too nauseous. I prayed and prayed and prayed again to God to feel better, that if I could just feel better for today and not be developing some huge illness, that I would do something really good in return, some awesome good deed at some moment, which I still have yet to complete…

Both of my roommates just happened to find me, and I explained what was going on, even though I really, really, really don’t letting people know when I’m ill. I find it extremely embarrassing and did not want the pity call. Also it hurt to talk and I was afraid that if I started venting out everything that was wrong, then that would give me permission to cry, which I obviously did not want to do in the middle of VENICE.  They suggested I get out of the hot sun, and go to see Doge’s palace, which we already had free tickets too anyway, and that it had some nice calm, quiet, dark places to just sit and watch the beautiful palace in. I took this suggestion very appreciateively and decided to do just that. After getting up and walking around the palace, I realized my medications were all starting to kick in some and I was starting to feel better.

Doge’s Palace was amazing, and huge. I found it funny because outside the palace, I just kept thinking, “Disney, Disney, Disney, DISNEY.” Because in Italy’s section in Epcot, Doge’s palace was remodeled and put in as well as the huge tower right next to the palace. Disney even got it right down to the very sculptures on the building to the light towers next to the palace, to the floor even. It was fascinating. I never thought that upon arrival in Venice, I would feel an extreme sense of “I’ve been here before!”. It was too funny.

So thanks to all my medications (at that point I had about four in me- VC, lozenges, antiemetic, and Excedrin) and being able to relax in the palace- It was finally time to head back to the hotel for the evening, and I was feeling much better. I said goodbye to Venice and felt sad that I couldn’t have been happier while in Venice, and that I let illness rain on my parade. I hate that when one health problem goes awry, I let it all spiral out of control because of my psychological anxiety.

We went back to hotel, and I went to the beach again to get some day pictures, and went to the supermarket to pick up some dinner with another third (and new) roommate. She needed lotion, and needed the Cashier who spoke minimal English to help her find some. When the cashier came back to check me out, She spoke to me in Italian about the girl who was with me, and I thought it was funny that she choose to talk to me in Italian, simply because I had greeted her in Italian. Greeting people in their native language when you are in their native language does a long way and does a lot for you!

Upon arriving back to the hotel, I arranged to skip out on that evenings nightly drinking activities, and I relaxed on my Italian hotel balcony overlooking the street, eating my grapes, baby food and new Italian chips with olive oil. It was then 9 pm and I decided sleep was the best thing for me, and I went to bed, and didn’t wake up until my alarm went off at 8 am the next morning. YES.

This morning I felt a lot better. I had taken another dose of Vitamin C before bed, this time WITH an Excedrin to prevent the imminent headache. My throat felt dry but didn’t hurt as much. Throughout the day so far It has hurt still but the menthol is working a lot. I think a large part of it is allergies, luckily, which I am able to take care of. I think for the second half of the trip (starting now) I will start trying to make more of a stronger effort to go to bed at a decent time, rather than living the night away, ignoring my health. I honestly don’t know how other people do it, every night. They are lucky. Gosh, I feel so old. Bleh.

Anyway, hopefully I can put that whole Immune system breakdown behind me. I am disappointed that it had to happen in one of the most beautiful cities in the world and it put a huge dent in my day, but even so I tried to make the best of it and still got a lot of great pictures (268!) and experienced a lot of venice, AND spoke Spanish in times of dire need!

I feel like I still have so many “miscellaneous” things to tell you, but that every time I am done with my blog explaining my day, it is so long I can’t include miscellaneous things! I will have to dedicate a post at the end to throw in all my miscellaneous moments…

Ciao!

~A Writer in a Nurse’s Body