Go-Live Success

Well, as promised- I have returned for a second time in under a week! That's already an accomplishment! Also, as promised- I want to tell you all about how our Go-Live went. Now remember I'm not naming my hospital network or the system we went live with, but refer to my last post for a clue... Now anyway, the system is amazing, just like I knew it would be. It is fascinating having had the privilege of learning the system since September and teaching it to others, but so far only having seen it with fake patients. I was so eager just to get to see it work for real! As we drew closer and closer to the Go-Live Flipswitch, my coworkers fear and anxiety levels rose but my excitement drew higher.

Getting to work with it all weekend after that moment has been fantastic and very eye-opening. I remember having had "play time" on one of my last days of my own training where we were allowed to just play around and practice anything so that we felt completely ready to help once we went-live. I practiced and practiced and I thought surely, I know everything know- What other situation could arise that I don't know how to do?

Well, I should have slapped myself right there because the rest of the weekend I was "go-Live support" which entailed me running around the hospital ( I literally ran up and down some stairs a few occasions) in order to help all three of our units and the ICU, and handle any problems that were arising. Needless to say, my "to-do" list was about 20 items long and it kept me busy all 12 hours of my shift. I would cross one thing off and be on my way to handle another and then on that route another problem would occur. So, point of the story is I thought I knew how to handle everything but then when real patients are in with unique individual situations and the patients aren't fake, certain charting queries come up and there needs to be a firm solution on how to handle that. I was put on the spot many times and had to rack my brain at 3 am in order to get a solution.

It is interesting watching people learn. Like I said before, I had the opportunity all fall to teach fellow nurses, PCAs, and Nurse managers on how to use the system. We faced a lot of kickback, frustration, tears, confusion, etc. And although I saw a lot of frustration with the Go-Live as well, overall these nurses knew that frustration was not going to help their patient and that if they just sit back and let us teach them how to handle the problem, they would go a lot further. Therefore a lot more health care personnel were a lot more open to learning this time around since we were working with real patients, real time, real problems. It was also delightful getting a lot more "Ah-ha!" moments from our users.

It is a known fact that users always learn faster when emerged inside of a real situation. We can only teach these users so much and get them to remember when we are working with "John Playdough" instead of a real patient, and when we are teaching 2-3 months away from the Go-Live day. And yet when these users are using it every second of their shift because they have to for their real patients, they pick it up much faster. Just like learning a language- You learn French much better stuck in the middle of France than you do in a classroom.

Overall this whole experience so far has reinforced within my own self that I love informatics, I love teaching people and I still love healthcare. I can't wait to grow inside this field and to accomplish more tasks. I love being in charge of projects around the hospital and reporting to and talking directly to high-up administration (literally had multiple conversations with the vice president of my hospital over the weekend!) not because of a power trip- but because I like being trusted and knowing that people believe I can accomplish difficult tasks.

Well, another weekend of work ahead-stay tuned! In other news, I get to go to my orientation for my masters program tonight! Super awesome! And next Tuesday I start my class! So exciting! Nerdddddddd. :-)

A Story and a Dream

"If theres any body out there listening to me, all I have is a story and a dream. Here I am, and thats all that I can be." -Tori Kelly

Hi. It's me. I'm writing again. I'm here.

I've been thinking about this blog for a very long time. It started in 2009 and around 2013 I lost my drive, my writing mojo. All together. I tried so hard to keep it all together and as my nursing career was starting and going strong I began to lose the writers part of my brain. I began to feel burnt out as a nurse after my 3rd year and it started to consume my entire life, my entire brain. It made me not want to write anymore. I didn't feel like I had anything to say. For awhile I tried making 1-2 posts a year but that just made me feel even worse. Even more guilty.

I guess part of me didn't know what to say and the other part of me didn't want to let my audience down. I worked so hard bringing this blog to where it was, gained so many followers and internet attention as It was being born- and then during my block- sometimes I would think of a post and instead of just going with it like I used to- Who cared what people thought?- I would filter it and ask myself, is this good enough for my blog? And usually I'd talk myself out of it or then find myself too busy to log on and try so the thought wouldn't come to fruition. The evil cycle continued.

However lately, my life has taken many strange and exciting turns. It has been a rollercoaster, to say the least. Like I said, I've been thinking about this blog and have desired to start it back up for quite some time now. But again thought to myself, do I have anything to say? But now I have realized within myself- the same self that started this back in 2009 that who cares what people think? This is my blog, my writing, my self. Lately I've really started paying attention to myself and reacting and standing up for myself and whats right. So from now on I will write what comes to mind and if it bores you then great, find a list to the right hand side of my page with other fantastic blogs you should go read. I need this. I need this blog now to be an open space for me.

So where is my life now? Where is my career? In recent exciting news, I have gotten married! Yeah! Crazy. I married a wonderful gentleman back in October. To say the least, it's been an incredible but very busy fall! I thank fates and heaven every day for my husband and this wonderful man, even though i'm pretty sure he doesn't even know how thankful I am for him every day. I try so hard to be a "good wife" but its not in my genetic code to be very wifely. Once in awhile I pull through for him though. ;) He's so patient with me, takes care of me, encourages me, inspires me, questions me in a good way, watches out for me, protects me, and loves me so much. Just the other day I was explaining to someone else that found them self in a rather new relationship- the friend asked me how I knew this man was the one- I said because we can read each other's minds. Although that sounds telepathic and futuristic- Its true! We can't actually, but we almost always know what the other is thinking.

We haven't been able to take a honeymoon however, much to our dismay. Why? That leads me to my next exciting news. My career took an exciting change for the better in August. The Hospital Network I work for has recently decided to adapt a new electronic health record system. For privacy purposes, I won't outwardly say which one, but if you know anything about health informatics and what system is currently sweeping the entire nation- you can probably guess which one. In August I was selected to come on to a team of trainers to teach all the nurses and care assistants in my entire network on how to use this system before it goes-live. So even though I had spent the last four years on the nursing unit at the patients bedside, I decided it was time for a "break" from the bedside and to follow my heart into healthcare informatics. Although I had never really been a trainer or teacher of any kind before August, I dove right in and for the last few months have been teaching nurses!

My mom is a sixth grade teacher. Growing up watching what she did every day, I didn't think I had it in me-the strength to do what she did. I admired her but didn't think I ever could do it. But, it was what I faced at the time so I jumped right in and started teaching! I soon found out after a few bumps and practice runs that I actually loved to teach! Sure I had a ton of challenges and challenging people (turns out teaching adults is very hard!), but that feeling of sharing your own wealth of knowledge and seeing other people "get it", is very rewarding. I even had a student tell me I was the best teacher he has ever had, including nursing school, and grad school. Go figure!

I knew I was good at it and ran with it. I was good because I was a nurse, teaching nurses. I understood what they go through on a daily basis, because I went through it all too. I understood what I needed to teach them in order for them to be successful. I was able to relate to them, tell stories about my own nursing care, give examples and scenarios on how this new system will make *our* lives easier as nurses. It was the perfect recipe.

So that whole process of going-live with the software? Yeah, that starts tomorrow. I know I am prepared because being a trainer, I know the system inside and out. However I start my journey back on the patients bedside during this whole process, my trainer/teaching time opportunity is thus far all done. So the next couple weeks/months will be stressful at best as we all cope with this very big change in my network. I am personally excited, even though I know it will be stressful. I am excited for the end result because I know the system will eventually better our patient care, give us more time with our patients instead of unnecessary charting. Just, in time. Everything good happens in time, right ? Something like that?

All that time all fall in the classroom has also inspired me to *finally* begin my Masters of Nursing program at a local university, in Clinical Nurse Leadership. I start in a week and a half and I am sooooooooo excited, but also nervous! I LOVE school, and I LOVE to be a student, and I am such a nerd because I honestly seriously do LOVE to learn new things. I want to soak up all the knowledge in the world, the only trick is remembering it all! And paying for all that knowledge. -__-

So upcoming between my return to the unit and starting school, I will have a ton to write about! I will also need this venting space now more than ever. I don't know how I will find the time, but somehow I found the time during my Bachelors program so I can find it now too.

Also in recent months, my beloved 85 year old grandma and best friend, has moved into my state! I tried for it to be the same town, but two towns over isn't too shabby either. She used to live in Long Island, New York, and on a good day it was 3 hours to go see her. On a bad day, up to 6 hours. With her increasing age and frailty, that was too long to travel on a moments notice. So the past couple months has been lots of realty and picking things out and spending time with lawyers, but best of all spending more time with my Grandma. She moved December 10th and I have been able to spend so much more time with her since. I already considered her my best friend prior, I have since I was a child- but even more so now. I am able to get to know so much more about her, and her I. The best part is with all this time spent with her, I felt inspired of all her tales about her life that I wanted to write about it all. So I'm writing a brand new, fresh start, new book. I know I've said that before, but this one feels different... It just does.


Well, this has been a long enough first blog back. I work all weekend as we "go-live", but I assure you after this weekend, I will post again to tell you all about how that all went down. Probably with a glass of wine. ;)

For the followers that still follow, thank you from the bottom of my heart for still having interest. For any newcomers, welcome!


With love,


A Writer in a Nurse's Body


P.S. That quote up top and the title of my post. There's a (small) story to that. As I tried to muster up the courage to come on here and write again, as I loaded the webpage, a song by Tori Kelly called "Where I belong" came on and I heard these lyrics and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Because thats exactly what I think, what I am, where I belong. I am just a girl with a story and a dream.

Life in the Middle Lane

Hello lovely, lovely readers! You are lovely because you still read this blog, even though I never post as much as I should! I really do always have a lot to say, just never the time, or balls, to actually say it.

I write this blog today because I've just about exactly hit my "Two Years" Nurse Anniversary. This is a definite bittersweet anniversary/year.

Lets discuss.

It is sweet because, hell, I've been a nurse for two years! I've SURVIVED! If I can survive this long, chances are I'll survive the entire career. I've made it past that point where I doubt myself every minute of every shift. I've made it past the point where my coworkers doubt me every minute of every shift. (Now only some coworkers do, lol). No really though, in all seriousness, I've been on two very autonomous, heart-wrenching (literal and figurative), fast-paced hospital nursing units now, and I can proudly say I've seen and done a lot in those two years where I legit feel comfortable with my knowledge base now. So much so in fact that I'm craving more knowledge. 


This is also the problem, knowledge. Now, roll with me guys. Does it make sense at all, if I tell you that despite what I just said above, hitting the two-year mark also means I'm hitting the "I've been a nurse for two years and I still don't know what the hell I'm doing" mark? I know you're confused but let me (try) to explain. Despite having a wide array of skills and a comfortable knowledge base that has grown in these two years, there is still so much I don't know. And I understand that nurses feel like that after fifty years of nursing, too. There's always going to be something new or confusing. I know enough now where my unit seems to think I'm charge-nurse quality and I'm frequently elected charge nurse to this telemetry unit, where I'm in charge of 2-6 nurses and 14-36 patients at a time. And yet when I am in charge, there are still so many times I run into a new situation that I don't have an answer to. And those times, I have nurses that need those answers from me, like I needed from my superiors back when I first started. And that's batshit crazy.

It's just, nurses are required to know the entire body system. Even though I work on a telemetry cardiac-focused care floor, the heart can affect many other organs and I must be prepared to handle anything. And there's so much to know and remember I don't think I'll have it all down by the time I'm retired, but I'll always be trying. I want to be the nurse that knows everything, that can help everyone, my staff and my patients. I want to always have an answer. But as the saying goes, the nurse that knows everything can be the most dangerous. So I have to be patient with myself. I have to accept the fact that it's okay to not know everything. But I'm finally at the point where at least I know a lot of things.

So that's where I am now. But looking towards the future, I'm still at a loss. I don't want to become stagnant In my position, I want to keep growing. I talk to my patients in their 80's that tell me they worked the same job for 50 years and I can't even fathom that. I know that generation workforce is entirely different than the one today. Not only could I not last 50 years in this position, but I feel almost pressured to move on. Like good nurses are supposed to keep growing, keep changing, keep moving to different units so their knowledge base becomes even more diverse and themselves more experienced. Like If I stayed on this unit for 10 years and did nothing else, I would feel like nothing. Like I'm taking my life nowhere, In no direction.

So now that I've hit that two year mark where I feel slightly confident in my skills, I feel that pressure that I need to do something else with those skills. I've recently successfully passed ACLS, which stands for Advanced Cardiovascular Life Support, which is a major step up from only being allowed to do compressions and airway support with just a BLS (Basic Life Support) Certification. Now with ACLS I can direct and lead a code blue in an emergency situation, even without a doctor being present. I can push life-saving medications into a patient during, just before or just after a code. I can participate in advanced airway management techniques now. So this has quenched my thirst for more self-evolution and knowledge, but only temporarily so.

So where does that put me now? Well, I want to go back to school. Not only because I just actually really do like school, but because that's the ticket to advancing my career. The only major problem is, what career?  Applying for a masters in nursing is like a senior in high school that is trying to pick a career out of all the choices in the world again. Yes I am trying to advance my career in nursing, but in what route? There are so many choices and routes that I could potentially see myself being successful in, but how do I know which one I actually will be happy in? I can't get a degree in everything (as much as I'd like to), so I have to be sure.

I've debated starting to a local program near me that is for a "Nurse Executive" degree, basically a dual-degree of MSN/MBA. It would take forever and be super expensive but would put me down the road of maybe eventually being very high up in the hospital administration pool one day. But as high-paying, important and as cool as that is, is that really what I want? To leave the patient bedside? To lose what it really is to be a nurse? To hold someone's hand and tell them they are not alone and will be okay? To instead be in an office making and revising policies, firing and hiring people and enforcing rules? Is that what I want? I don't know yet.

I've also been interested in the future of nursing informatics, but I would also completely lose the bedside nursing aspect there, too. With a degree in there I could help formulate programs and design new computer charting for nurses. I've also fantasized about working in epidemiology, where I could easily travel and investigate new diseases around the world and help stop or control them.  I'm also very interested in the route of emergency nursing, where that would keep me at the patient bedside, but in a totally different manner. I'm slightly interested in ER nursing, but even more interested in field nursing, but even that has many different routes. I could do pre-hospital nursing (riding with ambulances providing pre-hospital care), or I could go completely crazy and apply to be in a disaster relief system to travel to new disaster areas and help triage (that really is crazy I don't think I'd actually do that). I'd miss my kittens too much. ;-)

But can you see how overwhelming this could be? That is the blessing and the curse of nursing. Just because you're in nursing as your one career, does not make you limited. I can still pretty much do anything I want and that scares the shit out of me.

So that's where I am. I know a lot but am craving to know more. I've been a nurse for two years and don't know where I'll spend the next 30 years. So (too) many options.


I just try and like....meditate, and try and picture myself in the future, what am I doing and am I happy? And I just can't see it. I guess that's because I can't tell the future....makes sense I guess.



Anyway, with love.....


~WNB





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Happy Nurse's Week!

Ah my profession has a week! This is cool!

I've always known about nurses week....well, for the past six years that I've worked in a hospital I've known- that is. But this is my first year that I actually get to celebrate it, as an official nurse. Way cool.

And this is the first year that I'm noticing society celebrating it, too! Which shocks me. I mean, Its one thing for hospitals to celebrate it.....but society? Non-medical people? For example, in the mall today I did a total double glance- I was walking past "Cinnabon" (food) and I noticed a sign that said "Nurses week! Bring in your hospital ID badge, all nurses get a free cinnabon roll!"

I was shocked! Fo realz?

And then my local radio station is having this huge luncheon for just nurses. Cordial invite and everything..... They have been advertising it for about a month now. Thats super nice! Unfortunately, I can't go. Because I work. Nurses don't get off work for nurses week, lol.



Anyway, being that a lot of my friends on facebook are also nurses, I have been seeing quite the medley of hilarious "memes" as they call them nowadays. So I want to share the funniest ones I've seen. Please keep in mind, I did not make these, I do not know where they originated from nor who the maker is.

This is definitely my favorite. I see it in a hugely sarcastic tone and I love it.

I want to tell this to the cops that pull me over (ever so rarely, of course).

Sad, but exceedingly true.

If only our patients were actually this considerate.....

As for good news on my end, my hospital is starting this new thing to prompt......eh...competition? Hard work? Good customer service? About a month or so ago they announced they would be giving out awards based off nominations from peers to nurses and supporting staff that excelled in that particular award denomination.  So, somehow- I'm not sure how- (other than the fact that my nominating peer wrote a killer essay to nominate me)- how I won. But I won! I got an award for being a "rising star nurse", qualifications being a nurse under two years, and shows exceeding potential for future excellence. So, that kinda made my day week month year?! "  :-) I'm super stoked and honored.


On other happier notes, I seem to have a super duper outlook on my future job prospects...I've been interested in getting my MSN in nursing informatics, and today the head of the informatics team at my hospital told me herself she is retiring and her along with our Vice President of Nursing  said that they are looking into me to come into the department and maybe eventually fulfill her duties. Which is totally terrific!! Lots of door openings today!!!!!

So I have to super speed up my MSN. Must start applying now, ahh!

Lots of good news today. I am super blessed to be living this wonderful life. I have my own place, I have a full time job in my college major study, I have a lot of doors opening for my future, I am healthy, I have phenomenal friends, I have exceedingly phenomenal coworkers (those two overlap), I have the best most supporting family...what more could I really ask for?!



I hope all nurses weeks to come are this wonderful! :D

Happy Nurses Week Everyone! Try not to get peed or pooped on this week, you owe that to yourself ;) Duck the punches!


With love,

A Writer in a Nurse's Body


PS- Please remember the memes are not mine! I do not own a copyright to them. Google them. Re-post them, I dont care!



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Changing the Future

Holy Crap!

First of all, for an idea of what I will be talking about, Read This Post to catch up on things. If you recall in June 2011, I was uber excited for being picked to go to this Nursing Honor Society Convention, in October. It felt so far away then, being June. But now its here- And I am here! In Texas. And OH MY God! What an amazing, and most of all-strange- experience it has been thus far.

I have met really important people and have had some great networking contacts. My ex-professor, and my travel partner on the trip and reason for being here in the first place, is somehow friends with every important person in this entire organization. I have lost count on how many CEO's, Deans of (good) schools, and Presidents I have met because of her. Not only met but they actually gave me business cards and if I apply to their school and email the deans directly, I will get in for my MSN or DNP or PhD.. Oh my god! This is absolutely insane. Absolutely. Goes to show how important it is to be overly polite, kind, interesting and interested....and how far it can get you. And to have a really strong hand shake, and to say the right things....yadayada.

But so far the conference has been listen to important people speak during the day and write down notes, learn really important stuff, and then by night- regroup and "drink socially and eloquently" with the people you listened to all day. So being that my professor is in the circle of important people, by night I have somehow found myself drinking wine (way too much wine-this is troublesome) with some very important people.  Crazy!!

Also, I have met other nurse bloggers! Which is so cool. Apparantly nurse blogging is really picking up popularity among nurses in general but is also catching the attention of this organization. So I made extra sure to be wary of what they were saying on the nurse blogging frontier, to make sure I wasn't stepping in any muddy ground by having a blog about nursing. It seems to be the ongoing current question right now- is nurse blogging taboo, or is it the future? Should our workplaces know about our blogs, or is it OK to keep them private? Is it OK to tell them? What about our schools we graduated from? Can we openly talk about our schools of nursing? Where do you draw the line?

It was brought up in one of the workshops I attended that some schools of nursing (more advanced in the technology game) require their students to create a blog to document their journey through education, and nursing. How cool is that! I guess that's part of what my blog has been about the whole time anyway, but its cool that those students actually get to do it as an assignment...

But I think most important thing so far I'm taking away from this conference is...the rest of my future. If I tell my professor I'm interested in one particular thing, she says "Oh! I know the exact person you need to talk to!" However, as many of you know, I'm interested in a lot of things. I can see myself doing a lot of different career paths in nursing. So, I've met a career link in each one of the divisions I can envision myself in. So now I reallly have to choose soon, because I have so many opportunities. Opportunities are great, but how do I narrow down what I can see myself doing?? The problem is they are all so unique career lines that really don't intersect. My professor suggested I have a couple career paths and do something different after every couple years...but I think I want my career to make a direct line, one line. Start at the beinning somewhere, and move to the top. Learn about the entire career, the ins and outs and then by the time I'm at the top, I know what I'm talking about.  But we'll see. On the plane ride home, I actually made a diagram to sort it all out- Because I am a visual learner. I need to see things mapped out. After I made this- my professor was able to help me draw lines on what nursing paths can definitely intersect and totally relate to each other. Hence, this lovely diagram of my entire future:

Crazy, right?

What we narrowed it all down to was that "Nursing Informatics" was the core of all things nursing for me. Informatics can leave me openings not only for a long education, but to possibly delve into NASA, the Air Force, Politics, Humanitarian efforts, Emergency medicine, Epidemiology and Disaster relief. What it all comes down to, is that technology fits everywhere. Can I say it enough times that technology is the future? Of everything?

"Nursing Informatics" and its a rapidly growing field. Its all about revolutionizing nursing through enhancing technology. And, I come from a family of technology and I consider myself to be pretty competent with technology, and I have a lot of strong ideas for technology and nursing in the future.

At the beginning of the conference, I didn't know what nursing informatics was. But I had(have) at least three solid nursing inventions.
By day 2, I discover this new field. It intrigued me, but it was so foreign and new to me that I really had to think it over and learn more about it before I went crazy over it.
By 5, after listening to multiple "technology in nursing" seminars, I was crazy about it. I kept itching in my seat- I wanna learn! I want to do this! I can do this! I want to get in this field now- this is where we're all going! Not just nursing, but the entire planet! This is the answer. I wanted it. I do want it.

Also, with one of the particular schools that want me, I can skip right over the MSN and go right for my PhD, which is, insane. I'm 23. Am I really ready to think about PhD? Granted, I signed my soul to a 2 year contract with my hospital now, so I can't officially start my PhD until I'm 25.....Ah. Could I actually be Dr. Somebody by the time I'm 30? Could I?

There's the age battle, right there. I can get my doctorate by 30. Why not? It'd be hard as hell, but I could eventually do it....but in addition to just the schoolwork, you are judged going in so early. You have the older doctorate students that look down on you because

1) you are so young
2) you dont have nearly as much "clinical expertise" and lifelong practice as they do
3) they fear you, for being so young and ambitious
4) you're just really, really young.

There were people I met at the conference that were in their 50s-60s that were still doctoral students, or even just thinking of getting their doctorate soon. And here I want it by 30? You can see where some discrepancies and arguments might arise...


Looking back to the diagram above, there are two strong sides of who I am. Its like two hemispheres of me. There is nursing me, who wants to (literally) change the world. But I only ever went into nursing because I didn't have the courage to be who I really wanted to be, an artist...The real me. But I like nursing. Its worthwhile, a lifetime career, and its productive. I can help other human beings. Thats why I stayed, and why I will always be in nursing. However, the second hemisphere of my brain is the artist, the drawer, the painter, the photographer, the writer, the mom-wannabe, the wife wannabe, the daughter/sister/friend.....How can I be everything? Is it so sad that I so badly desire to be immortal and live forever and take a normal lifetime span to try everything? I set my goals too high. I want to learn every language. I want to read every book. I want to travel to every country. I want to write at least eight novels. Like, strong, hardcore novels. But those novels have nothing to do with nursing. Can I really be a stand alone writer and a Nurse, too? Why not, I guess, right? We shall see...


There was something really intriguing, however, that I noticed at this convention that has to do with the question: Who do I be, mom/wife, or powerful nurse? Well, at this convention I came across multiple women in very-high up positions. Granted, 95% of the organization has got to be women. Most of the government is made of women. And some of the men in the audience? They were there for the sole purpose of supporting their wives. They came to this conference of nursing to congratulate their wives who are probably making way more than them and just got an award for saving a bajillion people in Africa, or something. But seriously how sweet is that? How awesome is that? How new millenium is that? Awesome!


This organization seems to be the one door to open that will open a thousand more doors, If I play my cards right. And by golly, I'm about to start learning how to play some cards! This organization not only can help me travel for fun and business, but for humanitarian/volunteer efforts. Like, safe children in Africa sorts of trips.


Summary of the entire blog post:
I really doubt my life will ever have a dull, boring moment. If it does get boring, time to start the next big thing I want to do!




Also, I am absolutely crazy.


~ A Writer in a Crazy Nurse's Body




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