"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"


Showing posts with label England. Show all posts
Showing posts with label England. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Rainy Day In London

Wow...where do I even begin?

First things first, I am feeling a bit better about the recent passing away of my grandmother. Yesterday was an exhausting day of getting up at 430 am, not eating right, waiting in airports, flying for seven hours, and then finding out your grandmother died on top of all that. My original plan was to stay up once I got home to fight jet lag, and wait til bed time to sleep. But considering the circumstances, I showered and climbed into bed, slept for four hours, got up and ate dinner, and climbed into bed again for the next 12 hours. I couldn't think clearly and cried at every attempt to talk, and sleeping was just a way to escape my thoughts. 

I didn't dream last night, and slept right through. I desperately needed that sleep.

Through talking with relatives on that side of the family, I have felt much better. I have had feelings of guilt for having fun in Europe while my loved ones were suffering at home, but I can now see that my Grandmother would not have wanted me to feel upset and that she was so happy I was finally able to go to Europe. I guess I just wish I could have said Goodbye...

I have never had a death before of someone close to me. I have always tried to prepare myself for what its like, because I knew my grandparents were reaching that age, and also- friends or anyone can die at any time from any cause- So I knew I had to be ready....but you can never be ready. You can never prepare for that moment.

I have been able to think more clearly today because it doesn't even feel real. I still feel like I'm going to see her next time I make a trip down to North Carolina. I keep expecting her to comment on something on my Facebook wall with her witty humor. It doesn't feel real, and I guess thats making it easier to get over, but in no way does it make it complete. She is still constantly on my mind and going down to NC in July is going to bring back all these tears once more.

From here on, I just pray for the survivors, my Grandfather and all his children. I pray for my other Grandmother, so delicate and yet so strong fighting cancer in Long Island. I love her more than words can express and wish desperately that she lives a long, long time more. I pray for my parents, sister and friends...



On to a happier note and what you are all excited to hear about (Well, some of you!)...London! Let me think back to where I left off....Ah, my birthday in Paris. The next morning, we got up exceedingly bright and early to catch our train to London. We took the Eurostar...I was really excited to take this because for *some odd reason* I thought it would be like the Harry Potter train where you get separate compartments and even the candy cart comes around and you can buy chocolate frogs that come to life and show pictures of Dumbledore.....Ok, just kidding. I didn't expect the chocolate frog. But I really did think this train had separate compartments. But it was just a regular train. That went very fast and went under water.

Arriving into London was....funny? On the train I was pressed up against the window like a little kid, waiting to see London. Waiting for the magic to happen that I've waited for my entire life. Waiting for the soundtrack to play in my head. Waiting for sparkles or something spectacular. After every tunnel we came out of (there was strangely a lot of tunnels) I kept thinking, Is THIS london? No? What about this? Are we in London now?...I was very impatient.

Arriving into the train station was also pretty comical. All of our suitcases (all 42) were piled on top of one another and had moved during the ride, and we all stood in a clump outside the train, figuring out how to move the first one without them all crumbling down on top of us. How many college students does it take to move suitcases? Apparently 42.

The first thing I LOVED about London was that everyone spoke English and it was perfectly acceptable and normal! It was such a relief after struggling in every country! It felt abnormal and strange that I could just go up to ANYONE and ask them any question. It was a huge relief. I could read signs again! I can watch tv If I wanted! I could overhear conversations! I could order things off menus! It was good times. I kept seeing signs in English and thinking that it was abnormal, because I was used to everything not being in English. I find it greatly astounding and I am grateful that the Fates decided to make me sick and therefore I had no voice (well, a very squeaky voice), because this prevented me from doing an English Accent the whole time. I assure you, I promise I would have done a British accent the whole time if I had my normal voice. But I tried it in my squeaky raspy voice and I sort of just sounded like a sick turtle-duck smoker combination and it was not acceptable so I just shut up and that was so much better. If I had done an English accent the whole time I would have just made a huge ass of myself, guaranteed. Look for example later...

I kept looking for King's Cross, to see Platform 9 3/4, but apparently it wasn't at that train station, and we didn't have time anyway. Bummer.

un-occupied. So off we set for downtown London.. Our hotel was in the outskirts, but we were still able to take the "tube" in, even if the tube was a 35 minute ride (no joke!). AH! The first thing I noticed about downtown was that everyone drove on the opposite side of the road and car! I forgot about this! It was the weirdest thing! I guess London got used to having a lot of pedestrian-tourist accidents because of this, so on each street crossing they have written on the road, "Look Left", or "Look Right". Its sad that I actually relied on these reminders and it helped a lot to prevent me from dying at least 8 times.



The "tube"! Hehe.



London had SO MANY Book Ads everywhere, particularly at every tube station. I found this amazing because in America, you don't see ads for books....you see ads for movies, video games, no smoking, more video games, t.v., more movies, and oh....the big one? Food.

I also wanted to read this book one day so I took a picture :)





We first took a mini walking tour, but our tour director ended early because she was too fed up with how CROWDED London was, and we were all tired and grumpy and complaining and weren't sticking together, so she sent us all of on our own. With this newfound free time, me and a couple friends walked to Buckingham Palace. So pretty! Even just the walk down was extremely pretty. We were BLESSED with a gorgeous day in London, which apparently happens rarely.


















A stranger looking into Buckingham palace.... :) I couldn't resist.

EVERYONE seems to love this photo!! I guess its a nice photo!


my only shot of Big Ben! :( Long unnecessary story.



After visiting the palace and walking through the gardens and picking up a sandwich for dinner, we head back to the National Gallery fountain and dipped our feet in the large fountain. This was heaven, as it was a really hot day. The fountain/ Gallery area was PACKED as it was such a nice day. Kids everywhere dipping their feet in and playing in the water...couples sitting together eating ice cream on the fountain, singles reading books or the paper....it was just adorable.







After our lovely feet-dipping excursion, we went back to the hotel to shower and refresh. Then a select few (About 13) of us pre-signed up to go to a Haunted Ghost Walk of London.  This was really fun! This was one of the things I was looking forward to the most before the trip even started, because, well....I like Ghosts, and I like London. We met just as night was approaching, and it got really windy, and it was the perfect ghostly-atmosphere. Our new ghostly-tour guide took us around some of the most-known haunted locations in London, and it was indeed pretty spooky. London has been through so much and is far older than anything in the United States, and has been through many odd deaths and disasters, causing many understandable angry ghosts. We saw this one cemetery that was about 5 feet higher than the surrounding ground. I didn't think anything of it until he said it used to be ground level until they had to stack body upon body over the years in the burials.....creepy! We stopped midway for a special cider drink very popular in London, (I didn't like it it was too beerish, but it was actually very strong and that part was...funny). Overall this was very fun because I was with some of my best friends on the tour, we became closer and shared lots of spooks and laughs together before calling it a night.












The next morning, was a completely free day. My tour director left it up to us what we wanted to do on our very last day, and was leaving us the option to sleep in. Despite being in my favorite city in probably the whole world and what I have waited for my whole life, I decided to sleep in a little. The night before I was extremely sickly again (common cold) and was very deficient on sleep. I needed the extra hour, and was fine with spending the day in London alone because of it. But it didn't work out that way.

I woke up at 930, ate breakfast (the wrong way, and got yelled at, Long story. Too long for this post), and got ready to leave by 11. I knew that since the tube was such a long ride in, that I would be staying in downtown London until dinner time with my tour group, so I had to pack enough to last all day.  Despite being the kind of sick where you just want to stay under your covers all day, I knew I would hate myself forever if I did that. Forever. I had to just get out there and see London, and pay for it later. Before I left, I remembered that the museum I so longed to see- Florence Nightingale- Was here in London but I had no address for it, and no Internet. I tried finding it on map but no such luck. I tried texting "chacha" and they sent me an address in Texas. No luck. This upset me greatly but I let it go since I had plenty else to see and I did not have enough mentality to suffer through being disappointed about the museum.

I got to London around 12, and walked around the National Gallery for an hour or so before meeting up with a free special London tour, the Harry Potter tour! This could brighten my day any day. The tour was a walking tour, taking us to all the locations used to film all 7 HP movies. SO COOL! We saw about 8 locations, including the ministry of Magic, the movie theater they walk under when flabbergasted after apparating into London in the most recent movies, Honeydukes, and most coolest of all....Diagon Alley! So neat. It was amazing standing in the same spots and streets that the beloved Daniel Radcliffe has stood!





I LOVE THIS PICTURE



Diagon Alley!

Ministry of magic....

Ron touched the wall over there!



During this tour I spent most of it with a girl from my tour and realized that we had almost everything in common, and we only realized it on our very last day on the tour! What are the chances!? :(  We made plans to spend the rest of the day together, but as we were looking at her map to make plans, what did I see on it but the Florence Nightingale museum! I politely told her that I HAD to go to this but that I would meet up with her later. So, off I set to the museum!

It was really cool, and definitely worth seeing, but nothing I didn't know before from nursing school. I guess I knew more about Florence than I thought. But the museum did a nice job of displaying the accurate image of nursing, the history of nursing, and the future of nursing. It was very nicely done and interesting. I was pleased. I also got a LOT of souvenirs here! :-) 













Unfortunately upon leaving the museum, the infamous London rain had finally set in. It was pouring, and I was on the outskirts of London again. Fortunately, the "London Film Museum" was very close by and I ducked in to avoid the rain. Upon paying for my ticket, I decided to throw in a little bit of an English accent, and I thought it was pretty darn believable. I think the (very cute) English guy may have even believed it. ...... Then I had to give my license to validate my credit card and what does my license say on it? New Jersey. Big. Idiot. Moment. Of. The. Day.  --_--

After this, I decided to walk to the next bus stop in order to get back into the center of the city. I had about 3 hours until I had to meet up with my group for dinner. Unfortunately this bus stop never came and I got really lost, in the pouring rain, sick, and with tired feet. I gave up on everything at this point and just walked wherever my feet decided to take me, for a good hour. After I got tired of that mindless pointless life choice, I ducked into a dry phone booth and got out my map and made a plan. At this point I had two hours left til dinner. I decided I was close enough to walk to dinner, but that I missed the bus tour that ran city-wide to all tourist attractions and shopping areas. So I had two hours to walk to dinner and stand outside the restaurant in the rain. So thats what I did.

So, I am disappointed in myself for not waking up earlier despite the sicklyness and seeing more. I feel like I barely saw anything of my favorite city and did not do any shopping. I wanted to buy many many souvenirs from London, being my favorite city, and I got none. Seeing every one Else's souvenirs at dinner, and hearing their awesome London stories of the day, I was extremely jealous.

But on the bright side, I got to do the Harry Potter tour, and saw the museum I so desperately wanted to see. Not getting to see much else only gives me a reason to go back one day! Right? :)

Overall, I liked London. I think London was my favorite City in terms of fitting my personality, but I had a better TIME in Paris. This is a big difference. I think the experience you have makes or breaks it, as well as the people you spend it with, or don't spend it with. London has been in my heart forever, and that just doesn't go away after one day.  I will always be in love with London I think, and I will go back, one day. I am mad London came last and therefore I was more likely to be exhausted and sick by then. But thats not Londons fault. And we were blessed enough to have had a Gorgeous after noon Saturday, too.


Tomorrow I have a whole "European Refection" blog and what I learned about myself on this trip. I will be pretty epic and exciting so look forward to it! Also, sometime this week I will go back and implant photos into all the blogs so look for them! :D

~WNB



Thanks for reading everyone, it means so much to me! My mother passed along the message to me that my grandmother liked to read every entry and that means so much. Thank you for all of your kind messages and support, very much appreciated and loved. < 3


Monday, May 23, 2011

Following Your Dream

Well, I leave tomorrow! WHAT? I cannot believe I have waited for this day, longed for this day for so long, in dreaming and in actuality-and it is actually finally here!

I can confidently say that I have dreamed about the day of setting foot in Europe more so than my own wedding day. I have really only given minimal thought to the aspects of my wedding day, but Europe....I have dreamed about this for as long as I can remember.

Which reminds me of a scene from one of my favorite movies of all time, Tangled, that really hit home with me. It is when the two main characters, Rapunzel and Flynn are sitting in the boat waiting for the moment when she finally attains her lifelong dream of seeing the lanterns that are lit for the princess (her) every year.

Flynn Rider: You OK?
Rapunzel: I'm terrified.
Flynn Rider: ...Why?
Rapunzel: I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be?
 Flynn Rider: It will be.
Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?
Flynn Rider: Well,that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.
Here is a lovely video of it, on youtube:






This scene PERFECTLY describes everything that is racing through my head. I mean, this is my DREAM.  My life long dream.....I can completely relate with her fear of, what if its not everything she dreamed it would be? And, what if it is? Then what?.... I guess I can say I am blessed enough to be reaching one of my dreams at the age of 22 (and I'll be turning 23 in Paris!) and I can pick a new dream from there...probably something more to do with travelling the world!

I am so excited . Of course a volcano has decided to erupt today next to the Airport I am scheduled to connect in 6 am Tuesday, and the airport is closed until tomorrow noon. So, fun. Hopefully that won't be our first disaster. Luckily though (thank all my guardian angels) that I am flying with a couple others in the tour scheduled to leave from NY. I don't know what I would do if my flight was cancelled and I had to rebook for another time...or wait in the airport for a whole day like some stories you hear on TV. Ah!

Anyway, All stress aside, lets focus on the POSITIVES! 

1) I will get to see a VOLCANO on my trip from the air! WOOT! 


No really though In all seriousness- Hopefully I will be able to blog every night-providing that my hotel I'm in has wifi. If it doesn't, then, no blog for you. My goal is to blog every night even if its just to touch in, announce I'm alive, post a picture and a little blurb. BUT, do expect and prepare (get some popcorn maybe?) for some really long blog entries. One of my flaws is that I can talk  type and talk type and talk  type forever and forget that my blog entry is astronomically long and painful to read. So I will TRY to find a happy balance of not too long but long enough to adequately describe my experiences :-)

If you would like to know where I'll be at and what I'm doing each day just in case I won't be able to blog every night, here is my itinerary:

Day one (5/23): 830 pm flight. Yay day one!
Day two: arrival in Amsterdam, hotel by 3pm. Dinner scheduled tentatively at their version of the Hard Rock Cafe. After that, relax hotel time/free time in Amsterdam/walking tour.
Day three: Sightseeing tour of Amsterdam.
  •  Anne Frank House
  • Dam Square
  • Amstel River
  • Rembrandtplein
Day Four: Biking the dutch countryside!!!! WOOT!  2 1/2 hour Bike ride! OMFG! :D
Day Five: Transferring over to Heidelberg, Germany's oldest college town.
  • Heidelberg's Palace
  • Neckar Valley
  • Marktplatz (where witches were burned at the stake back in the day....)
  • Heidelberg Castle Wine Barrel
Day Six: Transfer to Munich, walking tour of Munich.
  • Frauenkirche
  • Marienplatz
  • Hofbräuhaus (Germany's most famous beer hall)
Day Seven: Travelling to Venice, stopping midway in Innsbruck for a small tour.
Free time in Venice at night.
Day Eight: Touring through Venice
  • St. Mark's Square
  • Grand Canal
  • Doges' Palace
Free time in Venice at night
Day Nine: Traveling to Switzerland, while stopping in Verona for a couple hours.  Arrive in Lucerne at night.
Day Ten: Tour of Lucerne!
  • Löwendenkmal
  • Kapellbrücke
Day Eleven: Travelling via train from Zurich, to Paris.  Arrive in Paris at night.
In Paris:
  • Latin Quarter
  • Notre Dame Cathedral
  • Evening Seine Cruise (woot!)
  • Climbing the Eiffel Tower at night
Day Twelve: Walking tour of Paris, mostly just free time.
Day Thirteen: Eurostar train to London!!!!! OMG!!
  • Walking Tour of London
  • Haunted Pub ghost walk- So excited for this.
Day Fourteen: Double Decker bus tour in London all day. Free time in london at night.
Day Fifteen: Last Day, flying home :-(


I AM SO EXCITED!!!! TOMORROW!!!  <3 my NEXT blog entry will be live from Amsterdam (probably). Unless I'm drastically bored in the airport and something strikes me as interesting enough to write about.

< 3 Wish me luck, see you when I get back!


~ A Writer in a Nurse's Body

LOVE

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Bringing the Right Side Back

I still have it grained into my brain that I should be studying. Well, I should be studying for the NCLEX but i'm not doing that hardcore until after Europe.

But this is how my thought pattern goes:

Wow this T.v. show is great, but I feel guilty for watching it because I should be studying. Oh wait, I graduated.  Or maybe, I'm gonna draw! I am so gonna draw! I am gonna draw til 4 am! I am gonna draw EVERYTHING i see! I am gonna draw that banana. I am gonna draw my windowsill. I am gonna draw that picture. Oh wait, none of this is a good idea, because I really should be studying something academic related. Oh wait, I graduated.

I tell you, its like I have a 5 minute memory. I keep thinking I should be studying, and I have to remind myself I really, actually have no homework. Its creepishly weird.

I can read books again. For FUN. WHAT? When I'm not working, if I want to kick back and watch mindless t.v. for 8 hours, I CAN.

But more importantly, I am fully charged to bring back the right side of my brain. My artistic side is coming out again ready to go. I think partly to getting a new camera lately in preparation for photography in Europe, mixed with photography apps on the iphone, mixed with drawing, painting....I love it all. This week is all about packing and working but after I get home--And wind down from all the European excitement- I am so gonna draw everything I see. I'm going to draw so much so much so much that I am going to get so much practice and be as good again as I once was. I want to paint again, too! And Not make orange people! I actually think I am going to paint something really abstract. That way you can't tell exactly what it is--and you won't be able to tell that there are orange people or things look weird, because its abstract. OoOoh. With like...shapes, and weird colors in place of people and trees, and things. So, yeah. Art!

UNEXPECTED DELIGHT of today!

I was in Barnes & Noble today, doing my "after I sit for two hours drinking tea and reading The New Yorker- browse walkthrough through the store picking up random books and look through them and want to buy them but know they will never be read so I put them back-  kind of thing when I graced upon the travel section. Obviously, I checked out Europe, and the countries I'll be visiting in particular.

Call me really stupid, insane, unwise, pathetic, unworldly or whatever, But I am not exactly highly knowledgeable about sightseeing in Europe. I'm really not. In fact, I'm not really highly knowledgeable about sightseeing in America, so don't ask me anything. I've even been across most of my country.

Anyway, besides knowing some major cities in each country and knowing each countries major tourist attractions (i.e. Paris=Eiffel tower), I really don't know much else. Now you'd think, If I were really smart- I would like....research....these sorts of things before I went there so I could get a feel for what I would really like to see. But thats not the way I'm doing it.

I'm actually just gonna wing it. Because for me, just walking down the streets of Italy is enough of a tourist attraction for me. I could take 1,000 pictures of just the street. So It really doesn't matter to me if I hit the "must-see" tourist traps attractions. Also, I hate  getting "typical" tourist shots that you could just as easily find on google and save yourself a boatload of memory space on your camera and computer. I'll obviously get a shot of the Eiffel tower, but I do not need 30 different shots of the tower. Instead, I will find some way to make shooting the tower different. Like no other photographer yet. I'm not sure how. But I will.  I like to get shots that you could never find on google- or anywhere else- Like of an old couple enjoying ice cream sitting on a park bench or by an Italian fountain or something. Or of kids playing in the street. I'm the one taking shots of everything else but the tourist attraction we paid money for that everyone else is taking pictures of.

HOWEVER, my unexpected delight of today- I was flipping through a book about Italy. And I turned to a random page- and it happened to be about Juliet's house. Then I realized that this was in Verona (If this is really really common knowledge then I greatly apologize for being so drastically under a rock), and I am SO GOING to Verona! SO this is one of TWO tourist attractions that I MUSTTTT visit!!!   I already knew Verona would be amazing, but this- this I have to go to. I am SO excited to see Juliet's house. The other one I have to see is FLorence Nightingale's Nursing museum in London somewhere (I have to find it). Other than that, I'm just gonna go with the flow. I have nothing on my must-do list besides those, and I think its better that way. Because without any expectations, you can't be disappointed.


I sat in B & N today with all my  Barne's & Noble's language phrase books, and sat there in the aisle mouthing silently all these European phrases. Some phrases I am trying to learn in all the languages I'll need: (German, French, Italian) are:

- I am an American (even though I'm pretty sure they will already know this without me having to tell them).
- I can not have food with milk or cheese.
- Where is the toilet? (everyone in my group will so thank me for this).
- I like your shoes. (brownie points).
- I'm lost (I know I will need this).
- My name is...
- Thank you, please, hello, goodbye....etc.

I've heard that Europeans kind of hate Americans because we are all fat and ugly. And that is understandable because a lot of us are and the typical tourist with their fanny packs and sunglasses that NEEDS mcDonalds everywhere they go and push people around....I would hate them too. But I assure you, we are not all like that. But if silly Americanos come to my country and asked me stupid questions In English, I would throw a rock at them too. But I also hear that tourists are treated a little nicer if they make at least a small effort to blend in and speak a little of the native language. So that is what I am trying to accomplish....whether its via Iphone translation, having a phrasebook in my hand or just literally throwing a couple syllables out there and hope they form a word in that language- I'll figure it out.  ONE WEEK!!


~WNB

P.S. - Ciao! Au Revoir! Auf Wiedersehen! Sin seveder! Pfueatti!


copyright - picture taken from going to google and typing in "Eiffel Tower" and then i clicked on the prettiest one (naturally) and then it said it was taken from www.dailycontributor.com so this is my fancy schpeel of a copyright.




Monday, April 25, 2011

We live in America, Thanks.

So this morning, while I was getting ready to go to school, my mother and I were watching the news. I swear, Katie Couric spent at LEAST forty minutes talking about nothing but how the wedding is just FOUR DAYS AWAY YAYYY and what everyone is wearing, and how its gonna be so great! And what is Kate wearing??? What does she do every second of her breathing time? ? What hat am I gonna wear to the wedding? OMG ITS SO AMAZING.

Okay don't get me wrong. I LOVE England. LOVE.   I just don't get how in America, it has become a constant craze. Its all I hear about! Its all over the news! Its everywhere! For a minute there I thought I lived in England!  Is this being so publicized in other countries as well??

I left the house, and turn on the radio in the car to hear some tunes, and what comes on? Wedding, wedding, wedding. Whats Kate wearing? What celebrities are going? What are they wearing?? What are they going to do at the reception? Is Kate throwing a bouquet? Then they had a call-in contest to see who could win tickets to be a VIP at the royal wedding. ...


Well, I called 24 times. Lol. I guess despite the obsessive craze and all its annoyingness, I really wanted those tickets.

Too bad I didn't even get through. :-(

Monday, February 7, 2011

(Totally) random thought of my day.

Today is just one of those days that all I want to do is think in an English Accent. No, I'm totally serious. My thoughts are literally transmitting in an english accent. I am not kidding when I say I have to think before I speak and speak "normally" (for my country). Otherwise I would like a complete idiot. I think this happens when I am really stressed and my body goes into malfunction mode and my brain is all like HEY DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA? Let's screw with Julie and make her think in different languages! YAY!

I think In spanish sometimes too. Is that weird?

Meaning, I think of something I need to transmit or say and then I think of how I would say it in Spanish....for some reason. Or, other times, random spanish phrases pop into my head and it is up to me to translate them....again..with the whole "brain is screwing with me thing". Do you see what I have to deal with every day?? My brain.


I seriously need ADHD medication. Today is exceedingly worse than all other days.


@)#)@(#*WNB!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Readers Beware: Part 2!

So, I am one step closer getting my soul into London! I found a great program that takes college students 18-26 pretty much anywhere they want to go...there are pre-arranged trips and you just pay and hop on, pretty much. I just have to get over the money factor, and I'm there.


I need to be there. I need to go to England. I need this more than anything in the world.

If I can go, my life, as of right now, would feel complete.


.


The last couple days I have felt so at peace with myself. OK, thats a lie. Ever since last night at precisely 4:20, after I finished the long day from hell. I had one more thing to study for, which was this morning, but instead I came home, and read a book. It felt really good. I didn't study. But turns out, I didn't need to, because I knew a lot more than I thought, which felt really good this morning.

So then I decided to go home (to B&N)... but I was like...wait, I can't go. What am I going to study? Everything is done for right now. And then I was all like...dude, seriously? Is this what your life has come to? So then I remembered that normal people actually go to B&N to...look at books....and read them...so, I did just that. I sat on a comfy chair for three hours with my two tea refills and read about 40 pages of this nurse-type book (It was a leisure fun one though! I guess I can't stay away..) and then I went to go see a movie (Morning Glory-Awesome movie!) and then I walked around the mall and looked at all the christmas decorations (very relaxing)...and then tried again for B&N and this time read a book totally not-about nursing. So I bought that one and am actually going to finish it.

Woo! Fun day. Relaxing times a bajillion. Definitely soul-replenishing. Oh and then tonight I saw "Eat, Pray, Love" because I've always wanted to see that and never got to in theaters...and it was playing at my school, so, yeah. That was definitely a movie I can relate to right now....

Oh, and I went shopping and I bought this adorable hat. The hat makes me happy. I like it a lot. :)

I think in order to be happy with someone else, whether it be a best friend, a new friend...or a relationship; you have to know how to be happy completely by yourself first. No, I did not just learn that from Eat, Pray, Love. I learned that on my own, over the last couple months.

I lost myself because of this nursing program. I put my happiness on the back-burner, in order to succeed. I kept a small part of me, for the whole three years, but most of it got tucked away. I knew where I was, I just didn't have the energy or motivation to bring that portion of me out in addition to passing all my classes. It just wasn't needed. And by losing "me", I mean artsy me...the inspirational me. The writer in me. The girl who clipped out pictures and articles from the paper and made a collage on her wall...who wrote a poem every day, who painted and drew all the time...who carried her camera everywhere..who used every person she came across as a stepping stone, as a character for a story or novel. Happiness.. And I think, just maybe, that It is all starting to magically come back. I don't know why, or how...but it's coming back, little by little, but very strong. It makes me feel so...happy. I wish I even knew how to explain how it really feels..just good. :)

I hope it lasts. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells because I don't want to do anything that will make it all go away again. But i'm trying to just not think about it. Stop thinking. And just go with it. Just be happy.


With love,
A Writer in a Nurse's Body

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Oh, the urge.

I.Want.To.Go.To.England.So.BAD.


Seriously I think I would find all that is happy in England.

I think I was accidentally born in America and should have been born in England.



Why is it so expensive to fly across the ocean? Seriously :(