"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Close, but no cigar.
The patients are the exact same type as my old hospital, I'm just in a newer nicer setting. The patients have the same diagnoses, same problems, same families, and same funny things to say- which makes for good stories for you!
So I get in report that my patient is confused at times, but it's questionable. Sometimes patients just don't feel like answering the question or don't understand. So I go in to see this patient, and it turns out she answers all her questions correctly. She knows who she is, where she is, and what day it is. So I'm just about ready to leave the room after I finish my assessment, and im taking off my gloves- literally stepping out of the room when I hear- from my patient- "what's that giraffe doing outside?"
And I froze. What? Giraffe?
So I wasn't sure what to say, really. I kindly looked out the window from where I was standing, and due to the fact that my hospital is not in Africa and its not next to a zoo, I did not see a giraffe.
So I'm all like, "I don't see a giraffe."
And I'm thinking, should I recheck her orientation? Is she hallucinating?
And she's all like, "it's right there! It's a giraffe! Its right outside my window and I'm scared at how close it is."
So I'm like, shit. Shes hallucinating...giraffes. Like, why giraffes? Why not turtles? Or koala bears?
So then I'm like, "I still don't see a giraffe....but you let me know if it comes in the room."
So then she's like, "come to the window and see it!"
So to amuse her and I guess myself too, I go over to the window....
....And low and behold.....
...there wasn't a giraffe. There was a crane. My hospital is under construction, just so happens a construction crane was right outside her window.
I couldn't contain my giggles as I explained to her the differences in our construction vehicle naming misunderstanding.
It was a nursing giggle funny, my patient was not hallucinating after all, and we both giggled about it all day.
Nursing funny #2!!
Okay so I'm admitting this elderly male last night with heart failure. I figured out pretty quickly into the admission that he was *extremely* hard of hearing, and oh- he left his hearing aids at home, of course.
So I couldn't get much out of him from his admission, because he couldn't hear me. But I'm all like, I can't not try. I have to at least try and communicate, that's my job. So I struggle through all the questions, one by one.
Well I get to this one, what religion is the patient? And at first I'm all like- is this really an important question to ask when I'm struggling with all the rest? No. But then I remembered that I'm a bit biased one the religion side of things, and what if this guy is like an ex- priest or something and he's actually super religious and it means a lot to him that someone come to see him when he's here (even if he couldn't hear them- that's beside the point).
So I ask my patient, "do you have a religious preference?"
"do you have a religion?"
"a religion? Like catholic, or presbyterian or something?"
"oh..a religion...a religion.....hmmm..."
So he literally took a moment to think, and I was just about to give up, when he shouts out, "yes! I'm American!"
I had to try so hard to not laugh. I smiled and I thanked him and clicked "no preference/other" on the religion choice.
Well that's It for the funnies this week! It's been an adventure so far, that's for sure. But I'm slowly starting to fit in and learn the ropes. :)
Thanks for reading everyone!
Hope I made ya giggle :)