A Bit About Dementia.

I have only ever done a small amount of research on Alzheimer's disease...That is, research at the computer and through books. But I have been graced with the *delight* of working with anywhere between 5-15 people each shift who suffer some form of dementia. And that number is out of ~30 patients each shift.

It's not easy.


Some people love working with these patients. Frankly, I hate it. I don't mean to sound like i hate my patients, but the work is hard. I think particular nurses that like doing this are afraid. They are afraid of working with people with 100% of their mind. Maybe they are afraid of normal human contact and would prefer to come to work and not be judged by their patients.
Or maybe they just have a bigger heart than the rest of us and don't mind if their patients aren't able to appreciate or remember it.

I need to be able to build relationships with my patients. Thats just who I am. I need to be able to carry out a normal, civilized conversation without being punched, swatted at, growled at, etc. I understand these people are confused out of their right mind, they have no idea where they are and how they got there. I would probably try to punch a bunch of strange people in white scrubs if i didnt know where I was and they were trying to do things to/with me. Thats understandable....but it's still not my preferred area of work. Is that so bad? That even though i accept my future role as a nurse, I still hate a big portion of it? I just pray, every single night, that one day I will find a job that I love...Truly love. I don't care if it has long hours and I am exhausted...I dont care about any of that if I can look forward to going to work, seeing my patients, seeing my coworkers and not dreading the entire thing. I firmly believe that if you are not *remotely* happy at your job, you have no shot at being happy in the rest of your life. Hopefully I'm wrong. Sure, you could still have a great spouse and wonderful children you love to come to, but a job you hate will eventually tear you apart and bring you down, and there is no way for that to not affect the rest of your life. I accept the fact that it is impossible (nearly) to get a job at 21 that I will love. Ok, i get it, I have to work my way up there. But if the rest of my life is like this...I dont know what to do next. . .