"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

It All Comes Down to This

How is it that four years of college.....nearly  $80,000....all means nothing until you pass a two hour (average) test?

NCLEX. Tomorrow.

Failing simply cannot be an option. It just isn't.

I've practiced practice questions to the point of nauseum. I have been making up questions in my sleep.

I had a long, relaxing, encouraging conversation with a friend today that has already been through all this (successfully), and picked up a few tips and learned a little bit more about myself. I learned that I think I'm in the bargaining phase of....anxiety? I just made that up. Just watch, soon it will be in psychology textbooks. Next to the "5 phases of grief" there will be the "phases of anxiety". I do it all the time. When I need something to happen very much, I bargain. I plead, "please, if I can just pass this test, I will save the world. I will do a good deed. I will volunteer more. I will jump out of a plane. I will find a cure for cancer. I will....well, you get the idea.  I just really want to pass this test.

I promise, to all other nursing students that may read this, If i pass, then I promise to write a whole blog dedicated to study tips.

It all comes down to this. Tomorrow. And then I find out Saturday (ish). I'm sure I won't have any fingers left. I've been practically chewing them off one by one.

All my friends, all the people that know me, assure me I will do very well and be fine. But what if I don't? What if I don't?  What then? What if they are all wrong?  I mean, when my friends took it, I assured them they would do great, and I meant it, and they did do great....I just hope the same goes for me.

Nervous beans!!


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