"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Walking Away

It takes a lot to push my buttons.

OK thats a lie. I get annoyed easily. Really easily.

However, It takes a lot to notice I'm annoyed, because I'm pretty good at not letting it show. Nurses need that skill. So if it does show that i'm annoyed, then you really pissed me off.

For example, this patient hit just the right button.....

Scene Set up:

I am helping out on the floor. I have no patients of my own, because i am working an odd-hour shift, so I am floating around the floor helping out everyone and answering call bells. So I answer this particular one...

Patient: Hello.
Me: Hi. How can I help you?
Patient: I don't know.
Me: Did you ring your call bell?
P: Oh Yeah. I want water.
Me: OK, no problem. I'll go get you some.

I pick up water pitcher, realize its been recently filled, with ice water.

Me: Actually, you have some. Its right here. Let me pour you a cup.
P: Then whats this in this cup over here?
Me: Well, it says "Pink Lemonade" on the top, so I guess its Pink Lemonade. Would you like some?
P: No. I want water. I hate pink lemonade.
Me: OK, let me pour you a glass. Pours glass. Here you go.
P:Thank you. Whats in that cup over there?
Me: More pink lemonade.
P: Oh, can I have some?
Me: Um. Sure.  I hand it over, she drinks.
P: This is gross. What is this? I want water. Get me water.
Me: you have water.
P: Where?
Me: Right here, in front of you. Remember?
P: Oh yeah, OK. Thank you. Dump the rest of that pink lemonade out I dont want it.
Me: OK. Can I get you anything else before I go?
P: Nope.

I leave room. 30 seconds later, her bell goes off again. I go back in.

Me: Hello again. Did you need something?
P: I think I have to use the bedpan. I'm so sorry, I'm taking all your time, you were just in here.
Me: It's not a problem at all, thats what we're here for. I'll be glad to help you.

I pull covers down so she can roll over and use bedpan.

Me: Um, It actually looks like you already went in the bed.....do you still have to go some more?
P: Yes.
Me: OK..Well lets roll over and you can finish in the bedpan. Lets turn on that side over there.
P: I can't turn by myself. It hurts me too much.
Me: Okay, no problem. I will help you roll.
P: Okay. Pt starts to roll, I help, but she's not budging.
P: Don't push me. I can do it by myself.
Still not moving.
Me: Mrs. Soandso, I am going to have to help you turn if we are going to get this bedpan under you.
P: Okay. Just don't listen to me if I say it hurts.
Me: Um, Okay....

 I get it under, after finally getting her to roll.

Me: Okay, you can go in the bedpan now.
P: I don't have to go anymore. Can you take it out?
Me: Stares at her. Just try and go for a couple minutes, just in case.
P: Okay.
Me: Okay. I will give you some privacy and come back and check on you.
P: Okay. Before you go, can you fix your hair?
Me: Stares at her, again.
P: Your hair is so pretty but you have that one flyaway strand and its really making me angry. Come here and I will fix it.
Me: Um, no thank you, I will fix it.
P: Then why haven't you already?
Me: I am very busy. I just haven't had time today to readjust my ponytail.
P: Thats why I'll help you.
Me: Thats Okay. I'll go fix it.

Walks away.


Seriously though, wtf?! The water/pink lemonade episode is comical, thats like talking to Dori. The bedpan issue is annoying but it happens sometmes, its part of the job. But after I went through everything, including your poop, to help you, and then you throw an insult at me? Thats pushing my button. And I will walk away.

Seriously, some people. *Sigh*



No comments: