"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Bug On a Page

Lets make one thing clear right now. There is one thing about me that I'm pretty sure will never change- And if it does change- then you can be sure the end of the world is coming. Probably.

When a bug flies anywhere within my twenty feet personal radius status, you might think I was training for the next alien form of martial arts, if you didn't know better. Between the high pitched squeals, running in every direction, and pointless swatting and protecting myself, you really might not have any idea what is truly happening.

I do not like bugs. I do not like anything that can crawl, particularly crawl on me. Besides babies. I like babies.

I think this fear started as a child when somewhere down the line we learned I was allergic to a bee sting. That instinctively taught me to how to run, and run fast- in general and away from all flying, crawling creatures. Particularly bees.

All this being said, there have been a couple times where I am reading outside, trying to enjoy my personal outdoor/reading time. I find outside time a personal enigma- being that I love the outdoors- I love the breeze, the sounds, the air, the smells, etc. But the outdoors comes hand in hand with....you guessed it, bugs. I'm afraid to lay on the grass because of them. Trees, tables, you name it. I'm constantly on the lookout. Total bug paranoia.

However, there comes a time on occasion where a small bug has landed on the page of my book. At first, my heart jumps- A bug! On my BOOK! A BUG! ITS A BUG! WAY TOO CLOSE. ITS CRAWLING.

But then I realize its so small.

And then my imagination kicks in as I watch the bug walk around the page. How interested, the bug seems....how interested it seems in the words on my page. As if he's actually reading it. So instead of letting my instinctual survival techniques of flinging the book ten feet away from me and making someone else go "make sure the situations all clear" before I return- I let the bug and I enjoy the same page for awhile.

Because, If I were reincarnated as a bug, ever, which- who knows-maybe this bug was a librarian in another life- I know I will make it my bug life goal to totally fly onto as many book pages as I can and read millions of words, strung together- plucked from thousands of stories. It would be lovely.

So believe it or not, I actually find it rather peaceful, allowing this small bug and I to enjoy the same page. I feel as If I made a connection with another living creature- kind of like when you realize your cat doesn't just want food from you- it actually likes you kind of thing. Sometimes, if I'm in a really good mood, I'll wait til he flies away until I turn the page.

But even that being said, I will never let anything bigger than the word "The" on an average font size walk around on my page. Ever. Especially bee's. A Girl's gotta have limits!

With love,



1 comment:

Jessica said...

I'm glad you have bug life goals ;)