|(Taken from this magical movie place )|
Do you ever wish you could erase something from your mind? Would it make heart-healing easier for you? For anyone? Would you elect to get rid of all your heartbreak, if it meant also erasing memories of the two of you having fun together, the good times?
Sometimes I wish I could erase
I guess it will just take time to forget, gradually...but Erasing you would be so much easier. I would, if technology from the movie existed.
I need a big change in my life. New surroundings. I need you not to cross my mind every day still. I need a new part of my life that you never had anything to do with. I need something I can call my own, and not "ours". Everything in my room has a backstory connected to you somehow. Places I go, you came with. They are all tattered with your memories. My memories. Ours. I can't even go to my grandmothers house without replaying memories in my head (good memories) of us having fun here, and that goes for everywhere.
I just need to work on replaying the equally bad ones too. Remember why I left. The bad used to override the good and now, in memory, the good overrides the bad...tell me, how does that work?? I guess by human nature, we naturally choose to only remember the happy memories. We forget the rages, the tragedies, the tears, the fights, the heartbreaks, the eternal mistakes.... We don't like to remember those things.
So if my mind can let go of all of the bad memories, why can't I let go of the good? The good ones are depressing, because I said goodbye not only to you but to your life. Your town. Our lake, our restaurant, your dogs, your family. It was like all of that died from my lfe at once. That's a lot to say goodbye to, to say to yourself, "I'm never going to go to that place again or see that person or that dog again." that's a lot.
"I never thought that you would be the one , to hold my heart.
But you came around, and knocked me off the ground, from the start.
You, put your arms around me, and I believe,
That it's easier for you to let me go.
You put your arms around me and I'm home.
How many times, will you let me change my mind, and turn around?
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life, or if I'll drown.
I hope that you see right through, my walls.
I hope that you catch me, because I'm already falling.
The world is coming down, on me, and I can't find a reason to be loved.
It's easier for you to let me go."
-Christina Perri, "Arms"