"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Have it Your Way

This is how it all went down last night at work:

patient is young female (younger than me young). Came in with ovarian cyst. Possible OR today, so no food after midnight. I go in to see her at shift start. She's nauseous and vomiting.

me: Hi, looks like you're not feeling good. You're feeling nauseous?

Patient: Yeah. I threw up.

Me: I see that. Are you still nauseated?

Patient: uh, yeah. It's because I just drank orange juice.

Me: okay. Well OJ can be very acidic and hard on the stomach, so how about we stick to gingerale or water until midnight?

Patient: Well they said I couldn't drink or eat anything after midnight.

Me: yes.  that's correct, just in case you have to go to the OR.

Patient: So I wanted to eat my dinner really late tonight. My boyfriend brought me McDonalds. Can I still eat that?

Me: As long as its before midnight, yeah, and you're feeling okay.

Patient: Okay.

Patient calls me back again, 10pm.

Patient: I threw up again.

me: Okay. You're nauseous again?

Patient: yeah, its because I had the Mcdonalds.

Me: Yeah.......how about no more food or drinks for the rest of the night?

Patient: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

Patient calls back again, 11:59 pm

Patient: I threw up again.

Me: Okay, you're nauseous again?

PAtient: yeah. I had some crackers and juice.

Me: Oh, okay. I thought we agreed you might feel better if we lie low on the foods and drinks for now?

Patient:  I know but If I can't eat until after my test tomorrow I was afraid I'm going to starve. I don't want to starve so I just had one more thing before midnight.

Me: Okay.
 *At this point I start removing all food and drink from the bedside table, being that it is 12:03 am.*

Patient: No! I want to finish my coffee, then I promise no more.

*Slam face into wall now.*

Some people just don't get it. I thought it was ingrained into human nature that when you're nauseous and especially vomiting- you naturally don't want to eat or drink???? Aye AYe AYE!



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