"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"
Sunday, December 4, 2011
No, I wouldn't Want to do that...
Work has been good so far, no catastrophes (yet) and my patients seem to like me. There have been many (WTF!!!!!) moments and many moments where I know I am in the right profession. And then, there are moments that are really, really funny. Like these:
#1- Patient is mid-age. Female. I am giving her night time medications. I notice a cheerio stuck on her gown at the top, under her chin.
Me: Oh, Looks like you have a cheerio stuck here, let me get that for--
Patient: NO!! I am SAVING THAT! They didn't feed me enough breakfast so I saved a couple for the rest of the day.
I legit cannot make these things up, guys.
#2 Same patient as above actually. She was the last stop on my med pass, and it was about 1030 at night. She had a sleeping pill ordered and she had told me earlier that she was going to want it. Well, she called the call bell just as I was about to go in anyway with her meds.
Me: Hello, I'm here with your medication before bed.
Patient: Do you have my sleeping pill?
Patient: Oh, good. I was worried I was going to fall asleep before you gave it to me.
No, we wouldn't want you to get any restful sleep before the sleeping pill. That would be silly.
#3- Patient is a new admission. It is 5-friggen-AM.
Me: Do you have any allergies?
Me: Excuse me?
Patient: I'm allergic to rabbits.
At five AM, just the thought of writing "Rabbits" on an official medication drug allergy sheet, almost sent me into an inappropriate fit of extreme giggles. But I refrained. So I could keep my job.
Oh, good times, folks, good times.