"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Paradoxical confusion

How is it possible to want to stay in this town and yet really, really, really want to move across the country?

I guess the answer is moving across the country because you are running away from something is not a good reason to move across the country. I guess my whole life I've been better at running then fighting.

The other day a good friend came to me and confessed a story of how this person was upset that they travelled a big distance to "start a new life" and run from their past. Start over, do new things, meet new people, breath new air. This person was upset because they realized that all of their problems from their "old life" were happening all over again, some dealing with the same people, some with new people/new situations.

I sat back and thought about what magnificent, earth-shattering, phenomenal advice I could give and it was, by reflex, "sometimes you can't run from your problems. Sometimes your problems are inside of you and you need to fight them from within. Sometimes you are your worst enemy and you need to make peace with the war inside yourself before you can adamantly fight/make peace with others...otherwise no matter how much you run, no matter what you do to erase the pain, no matter what drug you take or how far you move, it will always haunt you.

Good, right? Well I can't take credit, though. It actually all stemmed from lyrics from "Next to Normal", because coincidentally that was just what I was listening to beforehand.

So, the point of this ghandi-Buddha-ish life lesson is that I really need to take my own (N2Ns) advice. Moving across the country to start over will not solve anything. It will all just follow. Thanks to today's technology, that is. I imagine it was a lot easier to start a new life "back in the day". Regardless, I need to stand up and fight these battles on my home turf before I can legit move across the state,country,sea, world or galaxy (if I ever got into NASA ;) )

Thanks for reading..


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