"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"

Saturday, October 30, 2010


Its that time to make a wish. Except every time I glance at the clock and its 11:11, (which happens often actually), I never know what to wish for. I always feel like put on the spot, like-ok GO make a wish! What do you want most in the world?? Wish for it now! I feel like that when everyone stares at you when you blow your birthday candles out. Who actually can make a wish under that pressure? I remember being a kid and I was like....well, I can't think of anything, so....I wish that I could fly.

Clearly, that didnt happen. So every time 11:11 comes around, I'm still at a loss. I go through hard moments in my life and I make wishes/prayers to get me through those moments, but when its *time* to make a wish, I'm like...I don't need anything.
Just something I thought I'd share. I hadn't intended on writing about 11:11 until I logged on to write this blog and it was 11:11, the second night in a row that it was 11:11 right when I looked at the clock.

I did something today that I don't normally do and have only done once before.
Went to a movie alllll by myself.

Lame and pathetic and sad? Probably.
Peaceful and relaxing and .....quiet? YES. :-)

It was very nice actually. Once you get over the hump of walking in by your self and sitting down in a crowd of people, alone, and the movie starts and everyone is absorbed by the movie, being alone is very nice. No one whispering in your ear because they have to tell you something or ask you to repeat what an actor said...No one to yell at you for putting your feet up..( besides the employees). No one munching popcorn in your ear. Just you. And the movie.

Which happened to be, an amazing movie. Seriously, I think the best movie (one of the best) I've ever seen. It was right down my alley- It was Hereafter. I love the psychic realm, and life after death concept. I think the movie was pretty right on as to predicting what happens, but who really knows. THats what I imagine it like at least. But anyway, Hereafter was amazing. Go see it. Except the majority of the movie is placed in London- so everyone has an English accent. And of course me, who everytime I hear someone speak in an accent, I pick it up. So for the whole rest of the night, all of my thoughts have been in an English accent. I wish I was kidding. I had to order from starbucks in half an accent. I wish I could explain how it happens, or that I'm not making it up. I literally have to try hard to remember how Americans (me!) says a word before I go speaking with an accent in front of my friends. It has happened since I was a kid (middle school) and I would hear a friend talk with an accent, and she would think I was mocking her when I started to pick it up, but it really just started coming out that way. It happened in clinical once, when my preceptor nurse was from England, and I was with her all day and then when I popped my head out to ask my professor a question who was across the hall, what accent blurted out to everyone, including my professor, across the entire hallway?

maybe it is something psychological. Or maybe its something physiological- maybe something in my brain is like...switching. I say this because when I came "home" to my dorm tonight, I turned the key the wrong way to get in. And I thought to myself- this is the right way. Is the door already open? No. THis is the right way to turn the key. I had to take a step back and realize it really was turning the wrong way.

Good thing I didnt try and drive the car on the wrong side of the road.

Ahhh I wish I was joking because by publishing this I sound like a total lunatic. Especially from United Kingdom readers, who will especially think I am bogus. oh well.

Point of this blog- go see Hereafter!.

~A Writer in a Nurse's Body

No comments: