"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
regardless, this includes still feeling like s***. So, based on the fact that I have FELT like crap and DONT want to feel like crap any longer and for Europe, I finally called in the professionals. I really want to see this Holistic NP about 45 min away from me. She has helped close friends and I know she can run the right tests....even if she isn't under my insurance and it will be expensive. But at this point, I will pay for health. I need to feel better. I need answers.
So I called, thinking it would be no problem.
Well, they are "booking appointments two months in advance. FS)(*)$#*. So, I was like....Crap. So She gave me an appt for June, after Europe of course, and put me on an extensive waiting list if there were any cancellations. Boo.
THEN, about fifteen minutes later I got a call asking if this Thursday would work. Its conflicting with a lot of important things, but health takes top priority. So, yay!!! I really hope she can help. I have my fingers crossed so much it will take weeks to uncross them. :-(
Huge exam tomorrow. Not prepared. Freaking out. Probably a significant cause of me not feeling well. Oh well. If thats the case, I wont feel well again until....May? May 14th? Graduation?