"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
I am having a hard time deciding what is harder, when withdrawing from an addiction: The very first day, or the days to come after?
If you think about a drug addiction, your first day might not be so bad when withdrawing. You still have a little in your system and you start to notice effects, but its not until the 2nd or 3rd day until you really start having serious physical and emotional effects.
This morning I woke up and I kid you not, my first thought was--Facebook. Check facebook. I always check Facebook in the morning. But last night I deleted the app on my phone (I can always get it back), and I logged out on my computer...so it wasn't up for me to see in the morning.
Overall, the day went well though. I thought about it a lot. I wanted to see if I had notifications. What other people were up to on FB. I have been talking to some special certain people a lot lately on FB, through chat, status comments and what not- And its weird not having that daily contact...
First upsetting challenge arose when I went to a special event tonight (it was so lovely!) and of course, my friends took tonsss of pictures. I always love to see how they came out, and as always, I can expect to see myself tagged that night or the next day. I want so badly to check in on FB to see these pictures, not only to see if I look horrid and can untag, but just also because I like to see them. But, I shall see them in a week, they will still be there.
One week. Thats my goal. I think a lot is going to happen in one week... but, Day 1: Completed.
As for updates on the rest of my life, the event tonight was so lovely. I received a nursing scholarship in the beginning of the year, and tonight was a chance to meet our donors and say thank you, and whatnot. Well, my college went all out. It was catered, open bar, the president (of our school) came and spoke, and we got pictures with our dean of our separate schools within the school. Yay! Yay my college did something nice for us! And also, on a sidenote, this morning we came to class and we had a day long full of "outcomes testing" (they see how smart we are now as opposed to sophomore year of nursing). The projected time we had to do this was 9-2, right through lunch (blech). But to our suprise, when we arrived there was a lovely table full of muffins, bagels, juice, coffee and tea! How nice! :)
And then, during the middle of testing, our ceiling in the hallway starting gushing out water (I kid you not, it was a waterfall). Except, it wasn't water.......................................................................................................................................................................................it was pee. Some plumbing pipe completely burst, and yes, pee was all over our floor. Lots and lots of pee.
It was so funny to see how many of my fellow nursing students wanted to gag or throw up, or were constantly complaining, or wanted to go see the damage, and I'm sitting here thinking, "Guys....were kind of used to pee, aren't we?" *sigh* People just make such a big deal of things.
however, TOMORROW IS MY LAST CLASS EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IS THIS REAL LIFE????
Its gonna be EPIC. I hope. and....WEIRD.
Health update: I officially do NOT have Celiac Disease! Woot! So I can officially eat gluten products without a guilty conscience and thinking I am killing myself, or just my gut at least. I have been genetically tested, and I do not have the gene.
I have been feeling 97% better lately, too. Last week I thought I was dying (literally) and it almost came down to another ER trip...twice. It came down to the point where I was really glad to be going to WORK because I knew I'd be safe in a hospital. Instead of calling out, like I so wanted to do- I thought, "Well, if I collapse at home, the ambulance will take forever to get here, and no one will know I'm even here dying. But If I collapse at work, I will be in the ER within like...three minutes." So, I went to work.
But, thanks to a heavy dose of Prilosec, Culturelle (probiotic), Vitamin B12 (A lot!), Vitamin D ( alot), and D-Ribose (energy supplement), all prescribed by my new holistic practitioner, I am feeling so totally back to normal now. Which is funny because "feeling good" doesn't feel "normal" as I am so used to my normal being nauseated. I still have my tiny occasional bouts of nausea, but nothing that green tea can't fix. Also, my energy level is completely back up to par! I don't have to take naps (as many!) anymore! I don't have this constant exhaustion in my head anymore! I don't spend every waking second thinking about the next time I can go back to sleep anymore!
yayayayayayaaaaaaaaa I feel better! Can you tell based on how my writing changes? You can sense my awakeness, can't you?? Problem is, It's 11:38.
I think thats all I can update you on. One. More. Class. Then, packing til my arms fall off, then moving out!! Ah! What!!!!!!
Goodnight, little earthlings. Thanks for reading my crazy crazy random stories and updates!