"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Dark Waterway Slide Thing Dream

I have been trying to gather more details about this dream, all day. I hate that--having a dream and only remembering a slither or two from it.

I know I had a rather long dream last night. I know there were many complex parts and plot lines...and yet I can only remember doing one thing. Maybe writing it out will bring more back.

I was swimming, leisurely. In some sort of....big open area. The walls were high above, it was as if we were in a cave with a natural pool of water inside. The water was black, or at least just dark from the lack of sunlight. But I wasn't scared. I think I was with a group of people-some sort of tour- and it was time to leave. Except that entailed us swimming under water and leaving through some sort of tunnel. I was the last to leave. I found the tunnel and entered, and all the sudden I am in this massive force of current-that is pushing me through this tunnel of water. It Is pitch black. Except I wasn't scared. I trusted whatever was guiding me- I trusted the people I was with that they deemed this safe, that they made it through before me. But I remember thinking, how long am I expected to hold my breath? I can't go much longer. I can't keep fighting, keep swimming. But I have to. I have to get to the surface. And then I saw the surface light, but it was small and I still had so much swimming to do. I just wanted to breathe. I didn't understand why a tunnel current that was supposed to be fun was tumbling me upside down in the water. Why I couldn't breathe.

Then I made it. I remember being out of the water, talking to a friend (unknown who) and I told them that it was fun except for the fact that I wasn't prepared for it being that long and..dark..and that I should have taken a bigger breath.

She laughed. "their was air in the tunnel. All you had to do was stop fighting and come up for air while the current took you to the top."

Although that concept is not logical in real life, it made a lot of sense in the dream. Also, I think it is really symbolic for what is going on in my life. I do feel like I'm in a black dark tunnel current and I am running out of air. I'm desperately swimming towards happiness..towards a place in my life where I officially know what's coming next and that I will be happy with it. I'm desperately swimming towards having a plan. Maybe I just need to stop swimming and come up for air on the way to reaching the light...whatever that means.

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