"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A Handy Phrase, and Filtering

Hi! So, first of all, how the heck did my day literally just go from getting out of clinical at 2pm to being 7pm?? what the heck did I do for the last 5 hours?? Seriously? I usually love daylight savings and having more light but this is really screwing me up....I see its light out and I think, "Oh, I have a lot more time in my day." But then I look down at the clock and it is SEVEN O FIVE. P.M. AND ITS STILL LIGHT OUT. At least when our days are short, when it gets dark dark at like 5, its a warning that you have to really get started on the rest of your night....now, we get our warning 7-8 and by then its like, crap...I have to eat dinner and do all my work. What have I been doing??

OK enough about nature.

This past weekend I picked up a really good phrase to use in nursing. I don't like to call it a "phrase" because I don't want to make it seem like "I use it on everybody" but.....well, nurses do. Nurses encounter a lot of similar situations and "classic" situations and need a "bag of phrases" to come out with that aren't "too cliche-y"...(example- "I'm dying"  "No of course not!")

I have had patients that told me they are dying or are afraid that they are sitting on their deathbed. And I know I will have the same occurrences when I'm a nurse. And thinking about it, I never know what to say.  "Am I dying??"  Me:  "Um, well.. Let me get your nurse."    I can't do that when I'm the nurse. I can't rely on the nurse anymore to think of things and fix things when I am the nurse. So, I needed something that I could say to patients when this situation arose. Well, this past weekend at work I had a patient that is certainly not doing well but I honestly wouldn't say she is dying. Maybe extremely depressed due to situational factors but not dying. But, while I happened to be in the room, she told her daughter, "I'm dying, aren't I?"   I sort of just stopped moving and stayed quiet and pretended to do something really important while her daughter thought of a response. But she shot right back to her mom, "Well Mom, We're all dying, day by day, but I don't think you're going anywhere anytime soon."

So simple. So true. And yet why didn't I think of that? Its a good one to pull out on someone that really isn't dying but think they are. Of course no one actually knows if someone is going to die, but we can presume based on presenting data. Of course this isn't a fix for someone that you know really is  on their deathbed and they ask you, eye to eye, "Am I dying?"

I don't want to lie to a patient, ever. But....What are you supposed to say? Yes? Maybe by tomorrow? Next week? Next year? In an hour? Start praying? Call your family? So I still have to think about this one.

New topic: Filtering.

Lately, for like the past year, and its been getting progressively worse ( I don't know why), I am doing a horrible  job at filtering whatever decides to come out of my mouth. So, so, so  SO many times lately I will say something to somebody, or to a group, or write it on facebook or on this blog, or WHATEVER, and somehow it offends somebody. Whereas I never mean it like it comes out, it just sounds really bad the way I say things sometimes. Sometimes I realized I may  have or probably offended someone but they are just keeping quiet about it, and then I stress about it for the next week. Other times, like yesterday, someone literally said in a serious voice, "You realize you just insulted me?"  I was like......wait, what? I thought about what I said, thought about it again, and even thought about it again, and couldn't find where I was insulting her. Turns out she just misunderstood and what I said sounded completely different than what I was actually thinking, I guess. BUt I fixed it. I think. maybe. Anyway, regardless, I need to stoppppppp just talkinggggg. I have literally have to just say to myself, "OK. Seriously, just shut UP. STOP TALKING." If I don't talk, I can't say anything stupid or offend anyone.

I used to really filter my thoughts. I thought everything through, word by word, before I said it. But I hardly ever said anything. I didn't know  anything. I didn't have any opinions. Now I do. Now I want them to be known....I dont want to just be quiet. I guess that comes hand in hand with offending some people that don't agree? I just hate hurting people when I never intended it for it to be that way. Sometimes I say something in general that might be offensive, and it turns out that it highly relates to the person I am talking to and I didn't know it. Another reason to live in a cave and just stop talking forever. Sounds like a good idea to me.

My food industry opinions get my in trouble a lot....But I am trying really hard not to annoy people with that. I just seriously need to start filtering my thoughts! Stop blurting things out! Multiple times within the past month I have sounded like a complete idiot. Oh well. Life goes on.

But actually, some people out there say to not filter your thoughts. Because that makes you fake and not-honest. When you have to pre-meditate everything you say to cater to who you are talking to. Some people really just don't give a shit. Some people just have their opinions and people that don't agree can go....well, you know. Some people don't care if they offend a group of people or a person, because they don't need people. I don't need people either, but I genuinely hate offending people. I don't like being mean, ever, and don't ever mean to hurt anyone. Thats why I'd so much rather just stop talking ever. Too bad I have a blog I can't let go of....lol. But I usually am really careful (most of the time) on what I share on this blog.

OK I'm going to stop talking now.


I seriously just talk way too much. Stop talking.


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A Writer in a Nurse's Body said...

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