"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
A Supermarket Funny
So today I was picking up some much needed things in shoprite. Like you know...ice cream (dairy free!)
Im about to leave and I'm like, maybe I should pick up more anti-nausea medicine? I like to keep it handy.
So the shoprite I was in was moving things around and it was huge and confusing to begin with. But I finally reach the (VERY BUSY) health aisles and I am trying to read the signs to tell me where they have typical stomach products. Then I hear:
"what are you looking for?"
It's an employee, an elderly man. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me, because there was about four people in between us. Someone else even answered him and he said "no I was asking her." he was specifically singling me out. So I walked over and quietly said, "Uh...stomach?"
"wheres your stomach products?"
"like an antacid or something?"
"OH! um...hm...hold on. HEY! JEN! (other employee who happened to be DOWN THE FRIGGEN AISLE)
"THIS GIRL NEEDS AN ANTACID!" *points to me* * a couple people look at me*
"THIS GIRL HAS AN UPSET STOMACH--"
"actually, sir, I don't--"
"WHERE DO WE HAVE THE STOMACH STUFF? LIKE LAXATIVES AND MAALOX?"
"OH! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT FIRST? ITS DOWN HERE!"
"it's down there."
*everyone in aisle staring at me*
*I want to die*
Fun, fun day folks.
Lesson learned- never ask an employee in a crowded supermarket for a remotely embarrassing item.