"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Confidence and Flink
Moving on to a less-awesome topic, today is my first day back to work....in approximately 3 hours. I'm a nervous little bean. Which makes no sense because I have been at this job for 4 years and by golly why the heck do I get so nervous on my "first day back's"? (This happens every time I return for the summer, and when I return for christmas break...which is, now.) I am only nervous for like the first ten minutes once I get there...and then I remember that I do know how to do my job and I relax and do my job.
I guess I just get nervous that I will cause someone harm because I haven't been at my job since August. Like I won't know how to do something and a patient or nurse will suffer because of it. Also, every time I come back to work, there are new rules and new equipment, or new homes for things, and worst of all (sometimes), new staff. This is deemed worst because all the other aides are like, "Oh hey [insert new staff's name here], you are awesome!" and I am all like...."I don't know who you are. Please tell me your name." ANd it is awkward. OR, they (usually nurses) are all like....who are you, this new random aide that I have never met? Are you new? And I am like.......well, No, I am not new. In fact, I have been here for four years, but I go to school so I only show myself during breaks. You must have been hired while I was at school and therefore you only think I'm new because you have never seen my face in your first four months of working here. I am sorry for this. You will have to get accustomed to my face for the next two weeks and then forget it because I will probably not be back here til summer. Sorry for that.
Thats all I have to say today. I'm just a pile of nervous jittery beans.
Maybe If I'm not too tired tonight I will update on how it went. Or maybe, the night will be really uneventful and writing an update will be extremely ineffective and a boring post and then none of you would ever read my blog again but instead join Farmer's Anonymous and sit in circles and talk about your Flink's of cows ( I'm not sure why I capitalized that).
UPDATE: Spell check does not think Flink is a word. Therefore I am beginning to wonder the true-ness of this fact.