"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A Little Off Topic, but...

I have been having the strangest dreams lately. Which is funny and frustrating all at the same time. First of all, my dream interpretation book (in all seriousness! Don't laugh), is at home, and therefore not accessible until Friday. Therefore I can not interpret the dreams I am about to unleash to your innocent minds. But I can try. Second of all, It is also frustrating because I can go for an entire month without having a single dream and then KABAM! I dream every night. Which is good, I like LOVE dreaming, I just hate the inconsistency. And my dreams tend to not kid-around, either. No, they are serious. Well at least in my mind they have extreme significance. Then I share my strange dreams with friends or family and I am usually laughed at or accused of being on drugs...

But I really don't care. Because I can't be responsible for what I dream, it's just what I dream. Whether or not they should be taken seriously....Who knows. But goodness knows, I certainly can't think of *anything* else to write about today.

Two nights ago I had a dream that I was in some sort of house. Someone else's house. Someone else I did not know. I knew in my mind that I was there to save this woman. She was in an abusive relationship, that I knew. I saw her standing outside her bedroom door. Then her abusive (husband? boyfriend?) stood outside of another door, asking her to come in, and she had to choose between the safety of her own bedroom or the room with the man in it. I tried screaming out to her to choose the safe room, to not go with him. But she chose him. They went in the room. They shut the door. Someone locked it. I ran to the door, knocking on it to come back out. I heard screaming inside. Suddenly I was aware of the fact that a lot more people knew about this other than just me, and there were policemen and firemen (I don't know why- she wasn't on fire), waiting outside to save her. But it was up to me, I felt, in the dream. Up to me to get her out. I pried on the door, using anything I could to get the door open despite the lock. I had to save her.

Being that it was two nights ago and my memory is not great, and being the fact that dreams tend to "skip around", I am not entirely sure how I got her out. But I'm pretty sure she came out on her own, but she was badly beaten and could not stand on her own. So (somehow) I picked her up. I can remember her vividly. She was wearing a long white dress and had long red-blondish hair, kind of wavy. Pretty. I felt bad for her. But I had her in my arms (I still don't know how-I'm not strong, but I guess in dreams you can do anything). So I carried her out of the house and suddenly there was this massive pile of rocks, and on the other side of the rocks were the policemen, the rest of the community, etc. They told me to take it easy, to not overwhelm her or scare her by bringing her around too many people after this traumatic experience. So I let her sit down on "my side" of the pile of rocks and somehow pulled a bottle of water out of nowhere to give to her to drink. And then the dream was over....

All of yesterday, I had no clue what any of this meant. But brainstorming now, I realize it is probably an emphasization (new word) on my readiness and anxiety (at the same time) to begin my student public health nursing clinical...I will be visiting people's homes. So you can see how that appeared in the dream, being in a person's house that I do not know. I don't expect to be actually saving someone from an abusive relationship in my real clinical, but I will be there to get them out of other types of problems, health care related. I am nervous to start next week. But, I'm also eager to start after learning a lot more (in lecture) about what community health is, and what it could be....I'm starting to think that maybe I could really like being a public health nurse. But I plan to talk about that in another blog. Perhaps tomorrow.

Anyway, my second dream is freaky and I have no idea where it came from other than stress. As you can infer from my last blog update, I was up late finishing my poster presentation (OH BY THE WAY THAT WENT WELL! Only 3 more times to go!), and I had been working on that in my common area. Well, in my dream, I was still working on my presentation, and suddenly I owned an Ipad (thats beside the point) and the iPad was recording, white noise. Even though you can't technically record white noise while you, a human being, alive, is in the room. Because on playback you'll just hear yourself. But hey, it was a dream, remember? So while recording this white noise, I was somehow convinced that what I was hearing could be nothing but a ghost in the room with me. And I got the eerie feeling that it was not a friendly ghost. I started screaming out "Who's There?" and woke myself up by doing so. Needless to say, when I had to pee in the middle of the night I was very scared. I'm still scared actually. And, my room has been freezing all day today despite my heat at 100%.


And no I have no idea where that dream came from. Dreams. Sometimes they come out of nowhere.

But seriously....someone comment on this and enlighten me. Does anyone else dream about other people, that they have never met or seen? Is this a common occurence? I have these explicit and detailed dreams about people I've never met but in the dream they mean so much to me. I don't understand it. So does this happen to you? I'd really like to know.

Sorry for the incessant amount of rambling that happened in this post. I was really, really, in a blog-writing post mood and I wracked my brain and this was the only thing I found even remotely interesting to talk write about.

So, thank you for sticking with me and reading. I promise sometime soon I will have a meaningful and profound post. Or maybe a funny one. Or any type of post that is worth reading. Look forward to it....

With Love,

A Dream-Writer in a Nurse's Body

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