"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Empire State of Mind
And my FAVORITE:
Based off of friend's recent experiences as well, (she had a run-in with Elmo), characters seem to be very common to come across in New York City. The funny part is people walk right along side of them and often don't give them a second glance, because really-what else is new in NYC? Everywhere you look there is something eccentric and odd. And then there was the tourists (me) taking pictures of Minnie. But it was adorable, because guess who she was waving to? Thats right, you guessed it...MICKEY. It was so cute. She started off by making a phone call on the booth behind her, it was so random. And then she turned around to wave to Mickey. We also saw Bugs Bunny while eating lunch. Just randomly walking down the street, with groceries in his hand. I'm serious!
So anyway, as for an update on my life: I learned how to drive stick-shift (Manual!) Whhhhaaaa? YES. I learned a long time ago and get a lesson every now and then, but I usually suck, and its usually in a high-school parking lot. But this time, it was later on at night and my friend who own's the truck suggested that I drive us home....And as nervous as I was, I totally did it! I drove! A manual! Truck! And I only stalled once. I gave myself an A- on my driving experience, but my friend-instructor gave me a B, lol.
But the point of this is that this same friend has taught me something very important that relates to a recent post about being frustrated that I feel I am missing a manual on life. That I don't know how to do anything and therefore am too afraid to try. I told him I felt like this, and this person said flat out, "Do you know how I learned? I just did it. You make mistakes, you screw up and try it again." And with my successful driving experience, after just relaxing and winging it, that made so much more sense and I felt that I could definitely learn how to do more in life. So next challenge that comes along, I am excited to take it. If I don't know how to do something, I'm going to just try. I can figure it out. I guess my biggest fear is that I don't want to cause mass destruction or harm to anyone else in the process of "figuring things out". It's one thing when you are installing a coffee maker by yourself (that was a random example) but its another when you want to learn how to make a fireplace and you burn the entire house down (again, completely random-this never happened). So I have to find an even balance of being courageous enough to try, but smart enough to know when not to try or too ask for help...Good lesson of the week :-)
I am very frustrated lately. I cannot seem to hold on to my dreams. Every day, I wake up and there is this fragment of my dream...barely hanging there, and I catch a small glimpse of it, and the minute I try to grab on to the rest, it goes away. I think its a lot like fishing. Some of the "fragments" I get I know lead to bad dreams I had, and some others I knew were good...either way, I like to remember my dreams and I get frustrated when I don't. And the whole keeping a pencil by your bed is silly. Well its not silly, maybe it works for some but not for me. I am delusional when I am woken up and a pencil and a piece of paper would make no sense to me at whatever time I woke up. So, oh well.
Well I'm totally exhausted. I got all my christmas shopping done today, YAY for productivity.
~A Writer in a Nurse's Body