"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
One more day. One more final. One more day (today) of studying, and tomorrow I take it. But I've gone through 4 major exams this semester already and by now, I am just so....tired, tired of being stressed, tired of studying, tired of trying. But I can't be tired. If I give up now, I will hate myself tomorrow for it when a)I'm taking the final and I realized I should have studied more and b) after the final, when things are good again and I have nothing to do, I'll say-boy- you really couldnt put in one more day of hard work, before a month of relaxation? Really? And then I'll feel guilty.
So, one more day. I have to fight through being exhausted, try and gather up some knowledge...review everything (its a lot of information)...and somehow, pass.
I feel like such a typical American college student. My biggest concern in life (at this very moment), is passing this final tomorrow...there are other people in this world...in this state, in this city, maybe even at this college, that can say their biggest concern at this moment is how to feed their children that night, or themselves, or how to pay the electricity bill, or how they are going to fight through another round of chemotherapy. And I'm worried about passing my final.
THe least I can do is try. One more day of hard work. I have to. I'm so close to the end, I can't get off the train now...