"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Last Years Resolutions

So this post is going to be about reflecting on last year's resolutions, posted on this blog, on December 31st, 2009. No need to post the link, because I'm going to put them in this blog, for you. :-) My bold font will be talking (typing), in modern-day. Just so you don't get confused. And tomorrow, I'm going to make a post about this year's resolutions. I don't have any yet but I'm going to work really hard tomorrow and think of some good ones.

Last Years:

I want to Learn Chinese!! I actually want to learn every language (at least 10) and Chinese has always fascinated me, so good place to start. I know a lot of Spanish and a tid bit of French, but I'm ready to take on China. And Sign Language is a very close second.

Okay. So. It turns out that I didn't learn any new languages. New Year's Resolutions are funny because when you make them you are SO SURE that you are going to follow through, so sure! It does not seem illogical in any way, shape, or form, and you are completely sure you are going to do it. I was totally sure I was totally capable of learning 10 languages this year.

Turns out, I even went to Barnes & Noble and was all like, "I'm gonna buy Rosetta Stone. It's going to be totally awesome and I'm going to be fluent in 10 languages by 2011 because Rosetta Stone is awesome and I'm going to be able to travel anywhere I want and talk to anyone I want. In case I haven't already stated, I thought it would be totally awesome. Instead, I was all like......"Oh, hey I found Rosetta Stone. This looks nice. I'm gonna buy it. Oh wait, It costs HOW MUCH? .......o_0.........WHY?"

So I didn't buy it. And, I didn't learn any languages.

Sorry Rosetta Stone. Don't sue me. You already have enough money. Clearly.

I need to continue my weight loss regimen, so I guess this is and isn't a "resolution". Its been a rocky road in terms of losing weight but at least it's a road at all and best I can do with the new year is to keep trying. I need to be 20 pounds less by next year!

Again, with the whole failure to make a realistic goal....20 pounds? Maybe If I had Jillian Michaels living in my house. I lost like 5 pounds. Over a year. Awesome.

I need to keep better control of my finances…big time. Its not that I spend a lot of money, but the money I do spend I spend without keeping track of and then I get my bills…and I just feel out of control. I don't know where any of it possibly went. But I guess that's a typical part of life…but I have to try. It will never be perfect, but I need some sort of system…any ideas?

this failed miserably. Totally miserable. I tried apps on my phone. I tried not spending anything ever. Then I realized I needed food. And like...gas. I tried only spending a certain amount every day. I tried writing everything down in a little notebook but I got depressed that I was spending significantly more than I was making and it made me sad.

I need to stop biting my stupid fingernails!!!!! Enough said.

I never stopped :( I bite them when I'm nervous/anxious. I've been nervous/anxious a lot this year. Thats my excuse.

I need to do a heck of a lot better in my studies. I haven't been good enough. Have to keep trying. Med surg is coming this spring, and it will be the hardest class yet. I have to put every ounce of effort I possibly have into this course.

Well. Med Surg 1 was ridiculously hard. I did well...but not great. I expected it to be hard. And it was a lot harder than I thought it would be. But, I was prepared for Med Surg 11 and It went a little better and I passed everything YAY. YAYYAYYAY I DID ONE RESOLUTION YAY.

I need to focus on being happier with living in my skin. I have been very on edge lately and I can't place why. But that's another blog, like I said.

I have been a LOT happier. I think I've just had a different spin on things and have been looking at things differently. I have learned a lot. I have updated on this blog a lot more, and that has helped the happiness factor. I have found inner happiness within myself, by myself, and it is all happy everywhere.

I want to read more!! And paint more!! (Summer activities).

I have been reading a lot more! Mostly nursing books. But thats okay. They were excellent. And I painted a painting and I thought it was really, really good but then a couple months later I came home from school and looked at it and I was like.....crap. This painting is not good. Then I started another one and it has been sitting....half drawn, half painted....with all the paintbrushes and crap on top of it in the corner of my room...since I started it. So, um....this resolution was sort of accomplished?

Epic fail. I used to think it was good. Until I re-assessed the situation and realized I made him *orange*.

I need to keep my room clean as I can.

I have significantly improved on the room-cleanliness factor. Its not perfect, but significantly improved.

I need to keep my car as clean as I can!! It makes me sad to drive it.

This. DId. Not. Happen. I'm sorry, dear car. :-( This was not a realistic goal. Not for me.

I need to focus on de-stressing more, because this has been ridiculous! J

HA! I ended up in the hospital because my colon was too stressed out. HA! So, this was not realistic.

I really don't even know what to say about these resolutions. No comment. I plan to update this later and put pictures in. I think? Maybe.

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