"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
No but really even just as I'm typing this I am falling asleep. I friggen just slept 4+ hours! But all my muscles feel tired. My arms, they feel heavy and weak. Everything. Ive considered Iron deficiency...I wish I could test my own Iron, but I need a doctor order blood test to do that. I think thats the problem. or it could be anyway. I forgot to take my vitamin this morning, and yesterday morning, and forgot to take it saturday too. THe vitamin has Iron in it, and the week and a half that I was able to take it everyday without forgetting, I felt amazing. THis is how I felt when I was on the Prozac for the week and a half i was on it like 2 months ago. I stopped taking it because I felt like an exhausted Zombie.
On a good note, my headaches and stomachaches have been ASTOUNDINGLY better! I've been staying away from Dairy and tomato products (ketchup, pasta sauce, tomatos, etc.) which seem to attack my stomach, and Ive been taking a multivitamin for my head, and when I forget to take it, I get the headache back. Maybe I'm just totally deficient in all my vitamins and thats the answer to all my problems.
I'm going to go try taking a shower so that *maybe* I can pull off staying up til 11. Woah there, lets dream big.
And maybe clean my room, like I was supposed to.
tomorrow will be the same. Nothing to do....Just a "relax" day. THats the problem. Nothing to do...but I DO have things to do...get ready for school, homework, I could paint, I could read, go swimming, elliptical, write, b &N, ANYTHING! I just have to make a gate around my bed and all couches and not let myself SLEEP. Its a no win, because If i had filled up tuesdays and wednesdays with something to do (work of some kind), i would have been miserable because then I get no-time off, no relax Julie time....and I despise my job, so I dont want to be there either. But at least it keeps me going, keeps me awake and moving, focused on other people other than myself.
OK, shower time. I hope. SHowers usually help.
I have so much more to say. Maybe I'll make another long post tonight or tomorrow lol. Can i just keep typing?