"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"


Showing posts with label ocean. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ocean. Show all posts

Friday, July 15, 2011

The Curious Coquina Clam

This past week, spent on Long Beach Island, a Jersey Shore beach- I was standing at the waterfront, alone, watching the ocean, like any other trip to the beach.  I always like to see how long I can stand there and how far deep the sand can sink me as the waves recede and conquer my small legs. As I got bored of looking at the ocean, I noticed something peculiar about the sand below me. There was virtually no seashells....by that I mean there was a missing plethora of big seashells, usually there are thousands and thousands of washed up seashells of all different colors, sizes and shapes.

Instead, there was something new, something I've never seen before. At first I thought they were all "baby seashells" (I never got a degree in biology, OK?) Because thats really what they looked like. Miniature seashells, millions of them. They washed in and out, up and down with the shore waves.

As I observed them closer, I realized they weren't just seashells. They were moving. In fact, they were making a conscious effort to burrow themselves in the sand. My first thought process was that they weren't moving--It was the sand enveloping them just as it sinks my feet. But I still thought it was unique how pretty these miniature creatures were and that I had never seen them. I bent down to get a closer look at them, and realized that when the wave receded, they were all sticking out some sort of gooey white "tongue". Me having the curiosity of a five year old, I have to touch everything. So, despite the fact that I am terrified of the ocean because of strange creatures below me, I deemed this creature no longer unfamiliar and we were now friends, and it was OK and not-terrifying to touch it. So, I touched it.

As soon as you touch one, they sense this and, like a turtle almost, curl their tongue-y thing quickly back into their shells. Now, this was curious!

So before I further continued to discover more about them, I had a lot of fun touching as many as I could and making them hide in their shells. In hindsight this sounds mean, but it totally wasn't. I don't think. OK maybe it was. But it seemed all in good fun at the time. And you know, learning. Learrrnnnnninnggggg.


Anyway, I continued on my learning journey. When a new wave came in and brought an entire fresh new batch, I put my hand in the sand to barricade a couple from returning back to sea, and picked a whole batch up in my hand. I felt it curious that I could actually feel them burrowing into the sand that was in my hand! How fascinating! But due to my eebyjeebyness I put them down soon enough because honestly I don't fancy things moving in my hand. But it was cool.

So that was day one. But I still didn't know what they were. I got home that day and googled such things as,

  • baby seashells
  • Baby seashells at jersey
  • baby seashells that move
  • baby seashells that move in jersey
  • seashells that dig in sand....in jersey.

Clearly, I wasn't getting anywhere, and It was time to run off to the nightly activities, so I gave up on my research quest.

I spent most of the rest of the week picking them up and putting them back down and learning as much about them visually as I could, until I could no longer  stand it. I had to know what they were. I felt as if I was discovering a whole new species. I could be like.....a species-discoverer. They have jobs for that, you know.

So thanks to the awesomeness of Facebook, i was able to video record these guys and post it on facebook, and my handy biology friend was able to identify, and teach me a lot about, these little guys instantly! The Coquina Clam!

So here's what they are all about:

  1. Live coquinas are often exposed by retreating waves on sandy oceanic beaches and seem to be more active in the warmer months.
  2. The prevalence of coquina clams in this habitat makes it an excellent indicator of the health of this ecosystem. (Yay! Jersey is healthy! Thats weird....)
  3. Most commonly found on South Carolina Beaches, but can range frequently anywhere on the East Coast to Texas.
  4. They burrow themselves like that in order to survive death by seagull or too strong of a wave, or ocean life.


 Here was my video:


*Okay video is NOT working* But I am working on it. In the meantime, here are some pictures:







But then as the days in the week went by, the more I spent with them on my mile long walks on the beach just watching these adorable guys instead of the hot surfers, I realized the whole species was making me sad.

Here was millions and millions and millions  of these little clams...trying so hard to survive. They burrow themselves in the sand like that in a desperate attempt, at each wave just to survive. At each wave, they work so hard to hide themselves from seagulls and other predators. They have to do this for their entire life. Eat plankton and hide from seagulls. And here was the human race, running, surfing, walking, boogie boarding on top of them without even noticing how hard they are just trying to survive. Small children I

But really...it truly is fascinating how complex and diverse this planet is. Here is this miniature oceanic creature, working in and day out to survive, to eat and be eaten, every day, and then there is the human race....kind of symbolically doing the same thing, right? What are we really here for anyway, when you think about it? We eat, work, sleep for 100 years and then we die. We hide. We try everyday to survive. Our heart pumps 60-90 beats per minute every day to help us survive, just as this clam works to survive at every wave. What is it all for?


Sorry I went all philosophically crazy....I guess sitting on the beach in the waves for a week staring at the water does that to you, perhaps? Its great reflection time. I really enjoyed discovering this new species and learning so much about them. They were fun to hold and then release. Oh, what an interesting planet we inhabit.....there is so, so, so, so, SO MUCH, more out there  on this very planet than the human race, and I hate that humans forget this, sometimes. Sometimes we go all egocentric and think the world is all about us, and the world revolves around us and for us and we forget that our problems are insignificant, really. We are merely just one of a billion species sharing this earth, together. I am certainly no tree hugger activist or "save all the animals" type girl, but I am the type of person that wishes they could just SAY to some selfish egocentric people that the world is not all about them.  There is so much more, if you just open your eyes and stop talking and just.........observe.



Peace out, homies. ;)


~A Writer in a Nurse's Body

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Atlantic City and Disaster Preparedness

Well, let me tell you now that this is not Part 2. I am not ready to spit out Part 2 yet....for many reasons. Lots of big bombshells in part 2. ooooh, *suspense* ! No but anyway, today I am going to entertain you with pictures of the week! Yes, you get picture(s)! And these are not on my campus, of babysitting or at home. They are from Atlantic City! Thumbs up for variety! Woot!

Anyway, lets show you some prettiness first and then we shall discuss the prettiness.


Person reading on the beach....perfect. I am jealous.

Beautiful birds.

Pier Shops Mall

From the boardwalk

Empty beach....love it.


So this past Thursday and Friday I attended the State Student Nurses Convention for New Jersey, and it was pretty interesting. I learned a lot of things and not just for nursing.

1) I love the beach. I love the beach, I love it. I am in love, with the beach. This is something HUGE to consider if I choose to move to Colorado. I will be really far from either ocean. That is a major disadvantage. This part of me means a lot, and I will bring back up my love for the beach.

2) I got some practice with how I'm going to conquer Europe with my food allergies and health issues and having a hotel roommate(s), not being in my own "home"...I spent the two days with my only alone time as time in the bathroom. That is hard for me. I cherish alone time. I love being with people, too, but I am one of those people that needs some alone time too. With a two day trip, I was prepared. I brought poptarts, which are dairy free, to eat as emergency snacks in case something was not provided. Otherwise I did OK. I ate the poptarts for Day 1 breakfast, lunch was provided for us Day 2- (Ham sandwich, chips, apple, cookie.) I was nervous about this because of the ham and its probable infestation with sodium nitrate, but I surprisingly did not get a headache. I ate the sandwich & chips. For snack later, because I could feel my energy depleting rapidly as well as my blood sugar, I ate the cookie...despite knowing that 1) It had milk, and 2) it had chocolate, which also has milk in addition to giving me a headache anyway. So, as you can predict, that made me feel sick. Dinner was a buffet and I found some chicken and broccoli, turkey and plain noodles. Still felt sick after, probably the minor amount of gravy on turkey. Day 2- breakfast provided- but only gave muffins, fruit & pastries. I was late, only made it in time for cantaloupe (sensitivity) and muffins and pastries...both with milk. so, yeah.
Europe will be interesting. To say the least. I am going to have to bring Lactaid pills and take it with every meal/snack because I most likely wont know over there what has what in it....

3) I learned a lot about nursing I didn't know before. I went to a disaster preparedness seminar....taught by two air force nurses. It was amazing. Did you know you can get your masters in Disaster preparedness? Do you know how extremely interested in this I am? Extremely. Thats how much. I am considering this, very much so.

4) Here is where the beach comes back in. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. So I had a ten minute break. I walked to the window and saw this:


The ocean. The conference was held with a huge window view of the ocean, how unfair is that??  I then turned to the right and saw  a lot of people on the boardwalk, and a couple people playing around on the beach. I sighed. I looked at my schedule. All the seminars offered at that moment were ones I wasn't too terribly interested in...and it would be so easy for me to just go for a walk on the beach. At that point i hadn't been to the beach yet, at all this season. We literally pulled into the parking garage and stayed indoors the entire time. It would have been so easy to take the hour off and go....

But I didn't. I put my responsibility coat on and went to a seminar about what recruiters are looking for. It was the adult thing to do. I chose responsibility over playing around on the beach......am i growing up? Or am i just a wimp and didn't want to "break the rules"? Either way....hm.

Speaking of responsibility and adult-ness, I have been far too busy to do my share of NYT reading, which greatly disappoints me. I plan to do better this week. I have immense amounts of trouble doing one thing, the same thing,  every day. I don't like monotony. But thats not even my excuse. I've just been so busy. BUT, I do have this new book:

And it really is making me smarter. Each weekend it teaches you about something new. And it is written by the NYT writers...This weekend I got a review of the two world wars. It was a nice review and now I feel I can answer a couple questions and hold my own with a smart person...about the world wars. Then I would politely leave the conversation when it got more complex than that.

So, overall, the convention was a big learning experience and I am glad I went.

Tomorrow I will *try* to write my "Part 2" from yesterday. I already wrote some of it. But it requires a lot of thinking so we shall see.

Goodnight world,

~A Writer in a Nurse's Body

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Excuse my Strange Dreaming...

I had a rather relaxing dream last night and I kind of (almost) wish it was real (there were some scary parts too).

I remember being with my family on a cruise ship (which came out of NOWHERE o_0)- but is funny because on the news this morning I was watching the brand new gigantic royal carribean ship coming into Newark. Weird. ANyway, we were on this glorious cruise ship enjoying some type of vacation in the carribbean. The ship stopped for a scheduled vacation destination stop in the middle of the ocean (don't ask why because I dont know! It's a dream!). The purpose of the stop was to encourage ship goers to get out of the friggen ship and go SWIMMING. In the middle of the OCEAN. WHich, in real life, I would rather be on the top of the sinking titanic waiting to die than jump in the actual ocean. As you can gather from previous posts, I am terrified of the ocean. See this post:

http://awriterinanursesbody.blogspot.com/2010/07/fear-is-only-how-you-look-at-it.html

ANyway, So In the dream I actually was convinced to do this terrifying excursion because my family was doing it. Well, the dream skipped a couple scenes, and the next thing I know I am in the middle of the ocean. Except in order to get where I'm supposed to really be, you have to get swept up in this massive current undertake rip tide thing that is really strong and somehow carries you to a different part of the ocean. (Again-excuse me for my strange dreaming-I swear I do not do crack). So even though I was scared of this massive current thing (you could see it happen from the top of the ship), I went to swim to get swept up in it....and it worked. I remember being torn apart under the water in this strange current sensation, and I remember opening my eyes and seeing how far I had left to swim to get to the surface and I remember thinking- Wow, this is hard, I'm surprised a lot of people survive this- I do not like swimming-but this isn't so bad- How am I supposed to hold my breath all the way to the top? But regardless, I swam really hard and made it. The new part of the ocean was incredible, and all my friends and family were there. All I can remember thinking was that it was a fairy tale. Not a dream, just a fairy tale. Because dreams are never dreams when you are dreaming them.

So I think this fairy tale magic dream came from the preview for a movie documentary I saw last night on TV- I think the movie was called 127 hours. Here is the trailer:

http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi768149785/

you can definitely see the connection to my dream. .


I'm so strange. Anyway, that movie looks pretty damn good! I'm psyched for it!

As you can see, I am definitely NOT having insomnia.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Fear is only how you look at it


GeoTagged, [N35.60917, E77.35673]

The other day, I came to a rather interesting epiphany in terms my intense fear of the ocean. It all started when I was listening to "part of your world" from The Little Mermaid (don't be a hater-it's my favorite Disney show!) and I'm thinking, damn wouldn't it be awesome to be a mermaid? Lol not because it's a fictional creation, but she gets to swim all day in the ocean, go anywhere, do anything. I love the feeling of swimming, the feeling of your hair in the water... I love fish too. And then as I'm thinking about this I'm like hey, stupid, aren't I terrified of the ocean? Duh, yes. I scream when I have to go in til knee deep. So then how did I catch myself dreaming about the life in the ocean? Wayyy past knee deep? I have a couple theories.

My first is that it is all how you look at a fear. Isn't it fascinating? Think of what you are afraid of. Some people are terrified of bridges, but are you still scared If you had to drive on the same bridge, but it wasn't high up anymore? Some people are afraid of the height aspect of it, some are afraid of the engineering aspect of it, afraid it will crumble. What would it take, to get past that? I didn't think anything could get me past my fear of the ocean. Until I caught myself dreaming about it. Then I wanted to think about what it was exactly that scared me about the ocean and I can come up with one word: The Unknown. The unknown about what's around you, what creatures, what ledges that will suddenly drop off and you're SOL? Sharks? Where are they? Unknown that you could be swept away by the cruel waves... Swept out to sea without mercy... The funny thing is that I'm in LOVE with the beach, with the sand, laying out in the sand, listening to the waves... It is truly one of my favorite things to do. Funny how things work. My other theory was that maybe , my inner dreaming about being alone, swimming all day in the ocean, was a subconcsious plea that I want to escape the life I'm in? That I'm in search for another world, somewhere else that doesn't have nursing, no money, no overwhelming choices that are haunting me about my near future... (I'm getting more and more anxiety about what's coming- day by day- it's getting annoyingly closer :( )

My other theory is that the ocean can be seen in two ways: a monster or a gorgeous friend. I choose to see it as a monster, but I can understand why other people see it differently, for it's beauty. I would love to not be afraid and just have that be my home, a place of endless journeys and opportunities.. I guess I'm just jealous of Ariel lol. I'm laughing at myself typing this because I'm describing not what the ocean is, but whAt our earth is. I have endless possibilities ahead of me, I have choices, I have endless journeys too... I just have to start making them and that scares me. A lot.

I attached a photo because it's one of my favorite pieces of artwork I have done, and it matches the tone of this blog :)