Resolutions from 2011

Hey all! So, if any of you pay attention to whatever I write for new years resolutions, you should know that I annually dissect my past resolutions and make new ones, yes? Well, this year I have been astronomically busy (literally, like every second) up until the new year. I have also taken it upon myself to travel this new year holiday and am in Michigan (still am!) and therefore was travelling on lots of airplanes on the day I would normally have done this post. But alas, here it is, last years resolutions! Next post will feature next year's (2012!). Be excited. The Italicized paragraphs will be the actual made resolution, and the real writing is me talking....now. Got it? Okay.




1) I want to learn. I feel like such a dumbass either when I'm talking to smart people or when I'm trying to do something by myself (usually something simple) and I realize that I am not capable of living on this earth and cannot do anything. And that seriously bothers me! I want to know, I want to be able to talk about the Health Care Reform. See, I don't even know if that should be capitalized or not! I only JUST learned LAST YEAR that you put TWO spaces after every period when writing a paper. WTF? Anyway, its not just politics. I know nothing about religion. I want to know, though. But every time I try and read bible stories or pay attention in church, I get extremely lost and give up and start thinking about fun colors and songs in my head. Yesterday when I was babysitting, I was cleaning up their house toys and found this book that was "Bible stories: For Children" and I was like, oh, this is totally what I need. So in the middle of my child-watching duties, I was all like, hold up- I have to read this book and catch up. It had all the stories. But unfortunately, kids are crazy and get into everything and I could not keep reading, nor could I realistically steal it and take it home for later reading. So, politics, religion...Shakespeare, literature, famous people...famous bands, famous movies....Stuff that people know. And thats just what people talk about. The other day I had to google whether or not I could use olive oil to make eggs because I couldn't find cooking spray. I also had to google how to use a real tea kettle and not a water boiler. Do not laugh. I am ashamed. Really. So it's stuff like that. Stupid stuff. Sometimes people ask me to do stuff, and I'm like....seriously? You're gonna have to show me how to do that.So how do I accomplish this resolution? Well...I don't know. I plan to like....read the paper more. I guess. Because that has worldly important things in it, right? I'm already reading a lot of books...even though they are all nursing. So...I guess reading the paper is all I've got right now. And paying attention to smart people when they talk.

WOW. Long enough resolution paragraph?? Geesh. New Resolution: Make next years shorter!
But anyway, I did do well in this one, sort of. After I made this resolution, I did religiously read the paper (New York Times), almost every day, and I loved it. It really made me feel up to date on everything going on in the world,what people were talking about, etc. But at the time I was still in school, and nursing school...well you know, kicks your ass. So I to stop reading it everyday because it was seriously cutting into my study time. I instead switched to a book called "Smarter by Sunday", written by NYT writers, that you're supposed to read a chapter every weekend, and each weekend they teach you about something new in the world....music, politics, history, etc. This was an awesome book, but even that was cutting into my study time and I had to stop. Alas,  since then I have not picked up the book and have not bought the NYT, and this saddens me greatly.

Having moved into my own apartment, I no longer receive the daily local paper ( I actually DID read that daily over the summer). At work, each morning when I leave, I see all 6 of the local and national papers lined up and I glance at the headlines, saddenly (word?). I desperately want to read them all and know whats going on....but lately I've been doing nothing but work, breathe, eat, sleep, drink (water!), and...well, facebook. And postsecret on heavy occasion as well. :-) But you get the point. I've been busy.

However, I have been getting smarter nonetheless. Being on my own now has taught me so much. I am learning more and more about the world and how things work, just from day to day living. My nursing knowledge is increasing rapidly, as every patient teaches me something new. So, once the holiday season is over and things calm down again and I return to my home, I do plan to try and get back into the paper-reading thing, as I do miss it. Plus, I need coupons..... :-)

2) This is sort of a spin off of number one. I need to pay attention to people when they talk. I have ADHD (self-diagnosed) and when someone is talking and talking and talking, especially about a topic that I have no interest in, my ears literally shut off. Its like a defense mechanism gone haywire. It is really bad, because while the person is talking about something they deem really important, I am thinking about oompa loompas and prairie dogs and green things and how i should eat more vegetables and fruits and less carbs but then what kind of carbs? Why are carbs that bad, actually? Shit, do i have to babysit tomorrow? Crap. I totally forgot. what time was that? I should get a calendar. and stick to it. And -
"Julie? What do you think?"and I'm all like FUDGESTICKS I HAVENT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION EVEN THOUGH I TRIED REALLY HARD." I guess when the topic doesnt interest me or doesnt make sense, I just stop listening. Solution? Listen to every single word and process what is happening. Get some ADHD medication. Either of those two would work out great.


I have been doing a LOT better with the listening to people when they talk part. Being an actual RN now, It is my JOBBBBB to really listen to my patients. Everything they tell you is a vital, vital clue to their condition. Not only that but patients need to be heard. I've had patients literally tell me, "You know, I feel so much better talking to you. I feel like you are REALLY listening and not just nodding and smiling."  So, that makes me feel good. Since I have been improving that skill at work, it has also naturally transferred to my social life as well. I no longer drone out things that don't interest me from friends. Instead, I listen to everything they say because in reality, everyone is in your life to teach you something. So even if the topic is about Mango-fruit-rabbit ears or something off the top of my head like that, I try to listen because you never know, I could really need to know how to use a mango-fruit-rabbit ear one day.

As for the ADHD, not much improvement on this forefront. I don't like to resort to drugs, I don't. I'm pretty sure I've had the real ADHD since I was 6 years old, and I've survived, so why start now with the heavy drugs? As much as I know I need them...But I have tried Omega-3 gummies, which I guess are known to help improve concentration and focus in children with ADHD. I can't say for sure if they are actually doing anything, or if its just psychological, but I like to pretend that it helps.

The ADHD is tolerable when its just me,doing my thing, chillin mcgillin. Who cares if it takes me 43 hours to clean my room because I can't focus on one task at a time? Its my time and if I want to take 43 hours to organize a closet, then by golly I will. The problem however, is at work, and when I'm with my friends/dates. At work, nursing is NORMALLY hectic for any new starting nurse. But for an ADHD brain, my brain is presented with 14 tasks that need your attention and you have to prioritize quickly. You have to complete all these tasks quickly or delegate them to someone else. This can be hard when naturally, your brain has trouble finishing one task before starting another. So, Its definitely something I have to work on.



3) So, I just had a depressing moment. I just voted on a poll on facebook that was all, 'do you think 2011 will be awesome??" and my immediate reaction was YES! but then, my overthinking, over analyzing self was like....well...actually, no. 2011 is the scary year. Hopefully, an amazing year, if it all works out nicely....but, nonetheless, a year about uncertainty, and graduating, and getting a JOB, and getting through the first couple months of that job...and liking it.....Scary :-\
So I guess I just really need to have more confidence in myself. Just....go with the flow. Fate/Destiny has a plan. It will all be OK in the end...I just have to be the best that I can be...take care of myself, and have days to de-stress. It will all be OK. I hope by this time in 2012, I can look back on 2011 and say "awww, what the heck was I so worried for? 2011 was fantastic!!" My 20's are supposed to be the best years of my life. I hope nursing doesn't prevent that...:( *stress*

Okay. So. Where do I even begin on this one? You might want to get-the-popcorn-out on this one if you know what I'm saying. My brain has a lot of mixed feelings. First things first, 2011 was...............................VERY INTERESTING, to say the least. A lot of people I've talked to have  told me how much 2011 sucked for them. I....don't think it sucked, necessarily. It was a hard year, there is NO denying that. It was a sad, sad year, no denying that. But, It was also a very good year, in so many ways. Lets discuss the major points of this year, shall we? Hang in there with me, It will help me sort my own thoughts out.

• I graduated college! This is big time coolbean worthiness because there were SO many times I made a back up plan on what to do with my life because I was so certain I would fail out of the program. But, somehow, I made it through. I graduated college after 5 years of school, with a Bachelors of Science in Nursing. Woot!
• I also graduated a member of Sigma Theta Tau International, the nursing honor society. I also graduated with a special award for excellence in community health nursing, and a scholarship! All awesome accomplishments.
• I went to EUROPE! This was obviously something I've wanted to do since I was five years old, but never actually thought it was...possible. I came up with the idea in fall 2010 and didn't want to let go of it. And so I did it. Obviously, this was an extreme highlight of 2011.
• When I got back from Europe, I found out my maternal grandmother had passed away while I was overseas. This came as more of a shock than anything and I didn't even know how to begin...mourning away while I was overseas. This came as more of a shock than anything and I didn't even know how to begin...mourning. I was at an extreme...just, shock. And it took me a long time to come to terms with what happened and how I should react to it. This was obviously a low-light (opposite of high light?) of 2011. I miss her.
• Being that my grandmother passed away, this in turn created the opportunity for the entire maternal side of the family (we're a big group), to meet for her memorial service. Despite the dire unusual circumstance for gathering, I still consider this a huge highlight. It finally got 99% of our family together at once. We laughed together, we shared her memories, we hugged, we cried, we caught up...it was amazing.
• After my I got home from that reunion trip, I soon found out that one of my best friends at work was diagnosed with stage IV cancer....and all of us knew she wasn't going to make it. I lost her in the summer. That was really hard, being that It was so quick from diagnosis to death. She was always smiling when I saw her and she was my first friend at work. She meant a lot to me and it was a lot to lose her. It was a lot of all of us.
• In July sometime, I got the unique opportunity to practically do the whole disney world experience for nearly just $300! Sounds like a lot of $ if you haven't been to disney, but if you have, you know that this is an AWESOME total for flying, lodging, eating, park ticketing, etc. One of my great friends from high school is an official employee of disney and was able to let me and my other great friend from high school into the parks for free! You can't beat that. It was awesome, and I got to spend time with two friends I haven't been able to spend much time with in the past couple years.
• Soon after, I passed my NCLEX! This was......the ultimate high, as I literally really didn't think I would, especially on the first try. This was a huge highlight. This, ultimately opened up the rest of my nursing career.
• Soon after THAT, I was officially hired as an RN! I started in September, and obviously it has been a rollercoaster road ever since. This is huge for me as well because I was so scared for this stage in my life to happen. I didn't have any confidence in myself that I would ever be able to do it. I couldn't picture myself actually doing WELL in the field, in addition to not-killing patients. Yay! I am doing well! Huge highlight....so far.
• Soon after, in October, I moved out on my own with a roommate from college! This is AWESOME in so many aspects, and a huge highlight of my life. A huge step in the right direction for the rest of my life of inde-freaking-pendance! Yeah!
• After that, in November, I was officially elected to be a part of the nursing honor society convention. I got to go with my professor from school and do really important cool nursing things. Pretty awesome.
• In general, 2011 has been a remarkable interesting year for love. In this time span of one year, I have lost great love and gained great love. Thats all I'll say about THAT. :0)

So, yeah, 2011 had some pretty interesting points. Unforgettable year, that is for sure. It has taught me so much about life, about grieving, about celebration, about friendship, about love, about independence, about working, about nursing.....

I will never forget this year. But, I am also so, so, so ready for 2012. 2012 just "sounds" like a good year. What can I expect to happen in 2012? Not sure yet...A lot of 2012 will be about saving up money for bigger and better things. It will be about furthering my independence, furthering my nursing career, taking my GREs, looking into schools, etc. And maybe travel? Who knows? Very exciting. Also, end of the world? perhaps? Probably not? So, yeah. Cool stuff.

Okay I hope you're done with your popcorn now, because I am done. I think. For now. You can highly expect I will be adding to this blog in time as I'm sure There are points of 2011 I forgot to mention. But I got the big ones.

With so much love, and thank you so much for reading this year,


~A Writer in a Nurse's Body

Best Birthday EVER

OH MY GOD. Please get comfortable in your seats because this WILL be a long post! I suggest you make some more popcorn. I am truly sorry if you used it all up on previous long posts! But here we go...

Yesterday! We woke  up really early (5 am- way too early for human being survival)- and trekked out to our bus like zombies. We had a 90 minute bus ride to the train station in Zurich, which took us to Paris! The train went really fast, but thats about all I can say about it besides the fact that It was uncomfortable and all the Parisians on it did not like us. It was hard to walk on the train, and when I went to the restaurant on board, someone laughed and called me a tourist (which, granted- I am, but still). I glared at him.

I wasn't exactly *thrilled* to be going to Paris and I saw it as something I had to survive on my way to LONDON! I have heard so many bad things about the Paris Reputation and their hatred for Americans, which is understandable, because Americans are annoying. Also, we are all tired and exhausted and not as ready-set-go for big cities, and Paris is a big city. Obviously. In case you like, lived under a rock or something, now you know.

Anyway, we arrived in Paris, still zombieish but not as much, and refreshed and set out on the town. We went on a miniature walking tour and got acquainted with the metro system (very similar to NYC but a little easier!) . After this we booked our hineys over to the cruise on the Siene River that travels around Paris. This was relaxing but not very picturesque (sp?). I think I maybe took 5 pictures in a time span of 45 minutes. My friend asked me, "Whats the matter? Why aren't you taking pictures?" And I told her that I see them with my eye first and I simply wasn't seeing anything. I don't want to take a picture of a pretty building just because its a pretty building. Instead, I zoomed in (a lot) and took a few pictures of people relaxing on the riverside. :-)

After that, we ran over to the Eiffel tower to make our reservations at 8 pm. I WAS SO EXCITED TO GO UP TO THE TOP!!! I thought the elevator was fascinating and this time I actually listened to some facts about the tower. As previously stated, I hate taking touristy pictures so I made a game with myself to pretend I was in a photography class, and my assignment was to take a picture(s) of the tower that no one else has ever taken before. It was challenging! The tower has been photographed for many many years now, and in many many ways. I think I got at least one or two unique ones and will share them asap! It was fun!

Also, we were just lucky enough to be able to see the sun set overtop the Paris skyline from the top of the Eiffel! If I had tried to have planned that, it wouldn't have worked! But we just got lucky! We got in line around 8:15 and by the time we made it to the third floor, it was only about a 30 minute wait til the sun set, around 9:50 pm. So of course I waited....I got about 400 pictures of the sun (minor exaggeration) and the pictures I am about to show you have not been enhanced by a computer, it is the actual sun! Just magnificent...kind of reminded me of the "Circle of Life" opening scene from the Lion King!

Goodbye Sun! See you tomorrow!

After the Eiffel, we all went out as a group to grab a drink or two, but I was a tired party zombie pooper and stayed out for just a little and caught a cab home. This is actually very meaningful because I have never flagged down a cab (not even in NY) and so this was a challenge at 12 am. It took me awhile to figure out how to flag one down, then some helpful Frenchian? told me to go to other side of street, where lots of them were waiting. I asked first one for ride and he pointed me to next one, as did the next three. I was confused and frustrated, but finally got a driver! So, that was the end of that night. I know, exciting. Be jealous.

Today, was my birthday!!! And it was AMAZING! I met up with a really good old friend back from NJ. I used to work with her about 4-5 years ago and we always had a good time. She is an au pair now in Paris, and has been living here for almost a year! So it just so happened that the day I visit she was free! Well, after going on a miniature bus tour (lame), I split off from my tour group and WALKED from the Eiffel Tower to where she was. Now, on the map, this looked really close. Also, by bus, I was tracing it with my finger and it went very fast. However, my feet and legs are tiny and I didnt realize how long of a walk it actually was. I budgeted myself 30 minutes based on the map, and it took......90 minutes. Walking very quickly. Oy!

This is what I did to my Paris map.....You can sort of see the large Eiffel tower icon in the second middle fold on the left...and I walked to the fourth fold, third square. Fun!

But it was worth it! We met up in the Luxembourg gardens, and I assure you--this was heaven. Oh my GOD! It was literally like walking into......a dream? Like the whole world just fell away and this was heaven, on a cloud. It was perfect. It was perfect weather and so many people were out on the gardens...It was just incredible.

Just young school boys...some in college....playing chess.....perfection....

People meeting here for conversations...

Heaven.

Just completely in LOVE!

 We walked around the gardens for awhile, before she took me to a secret (and also amazing) little cafe which had amazing (how many times can i say amazing!??) French baguettes, and a little raspberry tart. SO GOOD. Yay for Finally trying something new! (Raspberry tart). We sat outside for a long while and just caught up with one another, before her friend joined us and we instantly clicked together, it was perfect! So all three of us spent the rest of the day together walking all over Paris! They steered me away from Touristy-paris and showed me real-Paris...the daily life Paris. IT was fantastic. Also, they got me to try this french dessert- "Macaroons" (Sp?) which were SO GOOD. I can't really describe them.....it was kind of like a flavoured squishy oreo? Yay for another new food! 

After that we spent time by the river side, just chatting some more and watching boats go by. We ended our day with what I considered one of the best birthday presents of my life....My friend took the time to think of something I might like to do while in Paris, and due to my obvious obsession with Barnes and Noble, books and writing, she took me to the most PERFECT bookshop!! Its this little tiny bookshop called "Shakespeare & Company" That I never would have found if I were a tourist. All the books (well, most) were in English, and I bought three! Also, I got them stamped from the company. The books were all randomly placed and mismatched, and upstairs they had ancient books from centuries ago. They also had an adorable reading room, with antique couches with books everywhere, comfy places to sit on the floor, so many adorable things all at once. It was just the most amazing thing I have ever been too. Thank you RK!

Just so many...BOOKS! Reminds you of Belle, doesn't it?

More books.

The most adorable little typewriter area!!! So cute!

Completely random window display but fantastic all the same...

I want that sketch book now, in retrospect!

I WILL have a window ledge that looks just like this, one day in my life.

Outside the bookstore. :)

After that we sort of just said our goodbyes and I set off for my journey home, but wasn't exactly ready to retire for the day. So I stopped by the Louvre on my way home (hotel) and relaxed, took a couple pictures....it was just so relaxing! I love Paris.

Notice the guy? He looked extremely lonely :( If I were brave, I would have gone to say hi.

My main focus of this, obviously, was the two gentlemen that look like they are having a really bad day.

He looked like he was having a really good day!

So did she.

After that, I ventured to WALK home (about 3 miles) instead of taking the subway/metro. I had a metro ticket in my pocket but was stupidly determined to make it home by walking, so I could see more of Paris. I almost gave up at least 6 times, because my feet were tired, but the little angels on my shoulders told me to keep going, and I did......I made it all the way to where I thought my hotel was based on the address I have, but it turns out that wasn't the street at all. I was tired, grumpy and my feet really hurt at this point, and I could NOT figure anything out. I went to the address I had, and it was not there nor did I recognize anything. I looked for a couple people that looked like they spoke English, and got a 20 something year old couple that couldnt help at all. They pointed me right to the same place I already tried.

Ready to give up and crawl in a hole and die, I stood in one spot for a couple minutes, took a few deep breaths, and collected my thoughts and turned my thinking switch on. With all that thinking going on, I decided to flag down another taxi since I was such a pro at that now. I got one after about 15 minutes, but even the taxi driver was confused, and obviously there was a language barrier. But with her handy dandy map, and my sorrow face, we finally found it. I nearly kissed my hotel room floor!

AND THAT WAS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

THank you so much for reading if you made it to this point! Tomorrow, we take the Eurostar to LONDON!!! AHHHH MONKEEEEEEEEEES! So. Excited. :D

Goodnight, mis amigas.

Paris and I are totally friends again. I am sorry we ever had a misunderstanding! Thank you Paris for a wonderful birthday!

~A Writer in a Nurse's Body