A Rainy Day In London

Wow...where do I even begin?

First things first, I am feeling a bit better about the recent passing away of my grandmother. Yesterday was an exhausting day of getting up at 430 am, not eating right, waiting in airports, flying for seven hours, and then finding out your grandmother died on top of all that. My original plan was to stay up once I got home to fight jet lag, and wait til bed time to sleep. But considering the circumstances, I showered and climbed into bed, slept for four hours, got up and ate dinner, and climbed into bed again for the next 12 hours. I couldn't think clearly and cried at every attempt to talk, and sleeping was just a way to escape my thoughts. 

I didn't dream last night, and slept right through. I desperately needed that sleep.

Through talking with relatives on that side of the family, I have felt much better. I have had feelings of guilt for having fun in Europe while my loved ones were suffering at home, but I can now see that my Grandmother would not have wanted me to feel upset and that she was so happy I was finally able to go to Europe. I guess I just wish I could have said Goodbye...

I have never had a death before of someone close to me. I have always tried to prepare myself for what its like, because I knew my grandparents were reaching that age, and also- friends or anyone can die at any time from any cause- So I knew I had to be ready....but you can never be ready. You can never prepare for that moment.

I have been able to think more clearly today because it doesn't even feel real. I still feel like I'm going to see her next time I make a trip down to North Carolina. I keep expecting her to comment on something on my Facebook wall with her witty humor. It doesn't feel real, and I guess thats making it easier to get over, but in no way does it make it complete. She is still constantly on my mind and going down to NC in July is going to bring back all these tears once more.

From here on, I just pray for the survivors, my Grandfather and all his children. I pray for my other Grandmother, so delicate and yet so strong fighting cancer in Long Island. I love her more than words can express and wish desperately that she lives a long, long time more. I pray for my parents, sister and friends...



On to a happier note and what you are all excited to hear about (Well, some of you!)...London! Let me think back to where I left off....Ah, my birthday in Paris. The next morning, we got up exceedingly bright and early to catch our train to London. We took the Eurostar...I was really excited to take this because for *some odd reason* I thought it would be like the Harry Potter train where you get separate compartments and even the candy cart comes around and you can buy chocolate frogs that come to life and show pictures of Dumbledore.....Ok, just kidding. I didn't expect the chocolate frog. But I really did think this train had separate compartments. But it was just a regular train. That went very fast and went under water.

Arriving into London was....funny? On the train I was pressed up against the window like a little kid, waiting to see London. Waiting for the magic to happen that I've waited for my entire life. Waiting for the soundtrack to play in my head. Waiting for sparkles or something spectacular. After every tunnel we came out of (there was strangely a lot of tunnels) I kept thinking, Is THIS london? No? What about this? Are we in London now?...I was very impatient.

Arriving into the train station was also pretty comical. All of our suitcases (all 42) were piled on top of one another and had moved during the ride, and we all stood in a clump outside the train, figuring out how to move the first one without them all crumbling down on top of us. How many college students does it take to move suitcases? Apparently 42.

The first thing I LOVED about London was that everyone spoke English and it was perfectly acceptable and normal! It was such a relief after struggling in every country! It felt abnormal and strange that I could just go up to ANYONE and ask them any question. It was a huge relief. I could read signs again! I can watch tv If I wanted! I could overhear conversations! I could order things off menus! It was good times. I kept seeing signs in English and thinking that it was abnormal, because I was used to everything not being in English. I find it greatly astounding and I am grateful that the Fates decided to make me sick and therefore I had no voice (well, a very squeaky voice), because this prevented me from doing an English Accent the whole time. I assure you, I promise I would have done a British accent the whole time if I had my normal voice. But I tried it in my squeaky raspy voice and I sort of just sounded like a sick turtle-duck smoker combination and it was not acceptable so I just shut up and that was so much better. If I had done an English accent the whole time I would have just made a huge ass of myself, guaranteed. Look for example later...

I kept looking for King's Cross, to see Platform 9 3/4, but apparently it wasn't at that train station, and we didn't have time anyway. Bummer.

un-occupied. So off we set for downtown London.. Our hotel was in the outskirts, but we were still able to take the "tube" in, even if the tube was a 35 minute ride (no joke!). AH! The first thing I noticed about downtown was that everyone drove on the opposite side of the road and car! I forgot about this! It was the weirdest thing! I guess London got used to having a lot of pedestrian-tourist accidents because of this, so on each street crossing they have written on the road, "Look Left", or "Look Right". Its sad that I actually relied on these reminders and it helped a lot to prevent me from dying at least 8 times.

The "tube"! Hehe.

London had SO MANY Book Ads everywhere, particularly at every tube station. I found this amazing because in America, you don't see ads for books....you see ads for movies, video games, no smoking, more video games, t.v., more movies, and oh....the big one? Food.

I also wanted to read this book one day so I took a picture :)

We first took a mini walking tour, but our tour director ended early because she was too fed up with how CROWDED London was, and we were all tired and grumpy and complaining and weren't sticking together, so she sent us all of on our own. With this newfound free time, me and a couple friends walked to Buckingham Palace. So pretty! Even just the walk down was extremely pretty. We were BLESSED with a gorgeous day in London, which apparently happens rarely.

A stranger looking into Buckingham palace.... :) I couldn't resist.

EVERYONE seems to love this photo!! I guess its a nice photo!

my only shot of Big Ben! :( Long unnecessary story.

After visiting the palace and walking through the gardens and picking up a sandwich for dinner, we head back to the National Gallery fountain and dipped our feet in the large fountain. This was heaven, as it was a really hot day. The fountain/ Gallery area was PACKED as it was such a nice day. Kids everywhere dipping their feet in and playing in the water...couples sitting together eating ice cream on the fountain, singles reading books or the paper....it was just adorable.

After our lovely feet-dipping excursion, we went back to the hotel to shower and refresh. Then a select few (About 13) of us pre-signed up to go to a Haunted Ghost Walk of London.  This was really fun! This was one of the things I was looking forward to the most before the trip even started, because, well....I like Ghosts, and I like London. We met just as night was approaching, and it got really windy, and it was the perfect ghostly-atmosphere. Our new ghostly-tour guide took us around some of the most-known haunted locations in London, and it was indeed pretty spooky. London has been through so much and is far older than anything in the United States, and has been through many odd deaths and disasters, causing many understandable angry ghosts. We saw this one cemetery that was about 5 feet higher than the surrounding ground. I didn't think anything of it until he said it used to be ground level until they had to stack body upon body over the years in the burials.....creepy! We stopped midway for a special cider drink very popular in London, (I didn't like it it was too beerish, but it was actually very strong and that part was...funny). Overall this was very fun because I was with some of my best friends on the tour, we became closer and shared lots of spooks and laughs together before calling it a night.

The next morning, was a completely free day. My tour director left it up to us what we wanted to do on our very last day, and was leaving us the option to sleep in. Despite being in my favorite city in probably the whole world and what I have waited for my whole life, I decided to sleep in a little. The night before I was extremely sickly again (common cold) and was very deficient on sleep. I needed the extra hour, and was fine with spending the day in London alone because of it. But it didn't work out that way.

I woke up at 930, ate breakfast (the wrong way, and got yelled at, Long story. Too long for this post), and got ready to leave by 11. I knew that since the tube was such a long ride in, that I would be staying in downtown London until dinner time with my tour group, so I had to pack enough to last all day.  Despite being the kind of sick where you just want to stay under your covers all day, I knew I would hate myself forever if I did that. Forever. I had to just get out there and see London, and pay for it later. Before I left, I remembered that the museum I so longed to see- Florence Nightingale- Was here in London but I had no address for it, and no Internet. I tried finding it on map but no such luck. I tried texting "chacha" and they sent me an address in Texas. No luck. This upset me greatly but I let it go since I had plenty else to see and I did not have enough mentality to suffer through being disappointed about the museum.

I got to London around 12, and walked around the National Gallery for an hour or so before meeting up with a free special London tour, the Harry Potter tour! This could brighten my day any day. The tour was a walking tour, taking us to all the locations used to film all 7 HP movies. SO COOL! We saw about 8 locations, including the ministry of Magic, the movie theater they walk under when flabbergasted after apparating into London in the most recent movies, Honeydukes, and most coolest of all....Diagon Alley! So neat. It was amazing standing in the same spots and streets that the beloved Daniel Radcliffe has stood!

I LOVE THIS PICTURE

Diagon Alley!

Ministry of magic....

Ron touched the wall over there!

During this tour I spent most of it with a girl from my tour and realized that we had almost everything in common, and we only realized it on our very last day on the tour! What are the chances!? :(  We made plans to spend the rest of the day together, but as we were looking at her map to make plans, what did I see on it but the Florence Nightingale museum! I politely told her that I HAD to go to this but that I would meet up with her later. So, off I set to the museum!

It was really cool, and definitely worth seeing, but nothing I didn't know before from nursing school. I guess I knew more about Florence than I thought. But the museum did a nice job of displaying the accurate image of nursing, the history of nursing, and the future of nursing. It was very nicely done and interesting. I was pleased. I also got a LOT of souvenirs here! :-) 

Unfortunately upon leaving the museum, the infamous London rain had finally set in. It was pouring, and I was on the outskirts of London again. Fortunately, the "London Film Museum" was very close by and I ducked in to avoid the rain. Upon paying for my ticket, I decided to throw in a little bit of an English accent, and I thought it was pretty darn believable. I think the (very cute) English guy may have even believed it. ...... Then I had to give my license to validate my credit card and what does my license say on it? New Jersey. Big. Idiot. Moment. Of. The. Day.  --_--

After this, I decided to walk to the next bus stop in order to get back into the center of the city. I had about 3 hours until I had to meet up with my group for dinner. Unfortunately this bus stop never came and I got really lost, in the pouring rain, sick, and with tired feet. I gave up on everything at this point and just walked wherever my feet decided to take me, for a good hour. After I got tired of that mindless pointless life choice, I ducked into a dry phone booth and got out my map and made a plan. At this point I had two hours left til dinner. I decided I was close enough to walk to dinner, but that I missed the bus tour that ran city-wide to all tourist attractions and shopping areas. So I had two hours to walk to dinner and stand outside the restaurant in the rain. So thats what I did.

So, I am disappointed in myself for not waking up earlier despite the sicklyness and seeing more. I feel like I barely saw anything of my favorite city and did not do any shopping. I wanted to buy many many souvenirs from London, being my favorite city, and I got none. Seeing every one Else's souvenirs at dinner, and hearing their awesome London stories of the day, I was extremely jealous.

But on the bright side, I got to do the Harry Potter tour, and saw the museum I so desperately wanted to see. Not getting to see much else only gives me a reason to go back one day! Right? :)

Overall, I liked London. I think London was my favorite City in terms of fitting my personality, but I had a better TIME in Paris. This is a big difference. I think the experience you have makes or breaks it, as well as the people you spend it with, or don't spend it with. London has been in my heart forever, and that just doesn't go away after one day.  I will always be in love with London I think, and I will go back, one day. I am mad London came last and therefore I was more likely to be exhausted and sick by then. But thats not Londons fault. And we were blessed enough to have had a Gorgeous after noon Saturday, too.


Tomorrow I have a whole "European Refection" blog and what I learned about myself on this trip. I will be pretty epic and exciting so look forward to it! Also, sometime this week I will go back and implant photos into all the blogs so look for them! :D

~WNB



Thanks for reading everyone, it means so much to me! My mother passed along the message to me that my grandmother liked to read every entry and that means so much. Thank you for all of your kind messages and support, very much appreciated and loved. < 3

Most Random Collection of Updates EVER

Hi! I'm alive! I made it through the rough waters.....right now, I'm still out at sea. I'm still swimming my little heart away. In fact, I can barely just see the shore. I can see it...but its so far away that I know no matter how hard I swim, its going to be a long time before I get there. But, in terms of this analogy, the storm in the sea is over. For now.

We just finished a 30 page paper with a group of five people. Can you guess how many fights broke out among supposed "friends" among our entire class over this group paper? A lot. Do you know how hard it is to write a thirty page paper with four other people? Pretty hard. So, in case you were wondering, thats what I have been doing. We also had a midterm due the same day that was assigned 2 days prior that also required a three page paper on top of it. On top of all this, we still have "Normal" work, like...reading for class. SO, my entire program is on its last string and the entire building is nothing but tension. But, like I said, the storm is over. We handed our papers in and our midterms in...now, I can look forward to two group presenations, A couple of little papers, and some more clinical work. So were not done yet. But graduation (the shore line- the BEACH!) is close....

My Europe trip is coming....I'm so excited!

Anyway.


So, the other day at clinical, I was partnered with a male classmate in my class to go to a senior citizens complex and take their blood pressures and give them education and whatnot. We are required to wear lab coats, a white collared shirt, and black pants. The guy I was with had a tie, too. And we both had stethoscopes. Well, we spent a little time with this one lady. My male classmate did a lot of the education and I threw in a couple words in there when he let me talk- without confusing the patient- and she felt comfortable with the information she learned. Well, at the end she took an interest in us, and asked me what type of nursing I was interested in doing and where I wanted to work- so I told her I wasn't sure yet, and that I was applying to a couple places, etc. She then asked my male classmate when he was going to be done with "Med School" and when he would be a doctor. We were both silent for a second to process that question and my classmate responded, "Um, I'm in the nursing program, too. We graduate together, I'll be a nurse next year."

Patient: "Oh....This whole time I thought you were a doctor."


I knew it existed. I know that people think males shouldnt be nurses and that if a guy is in a fancy lab coat with a tie, oh my- they must be a doctor. *EVEN THOUGH* I was in the same dresscode- (minus the tie) and I was *obviously* a nurse. Oy. As for the differentation between doctors and nurses, I don't blame the general public. In this case, I was a little erked because we were in the same clothes and it was a matter of gender to differentiate between the doctor and nurse. But in the hospital, I don't blame patients. I have been asked a number of times if I am the doctor they are waiting to see. I have to hold back a giggle and a look of utter suprise when I tell them that no, I am definitely not their doctor. What I really want to say is, "Do I even look old enough to be a doctor???" I think its the lab coat that does it for people, though. When I research patient information for clinical, we wear lab coats in and out of the hospital and we are required to look professional. I have had a couple people approach me for a request of some kind and address me as "Excuse me, Dr., but I..." I just look at them funny. In my very first class at this school I am graduating from, It was a summer class, and there were only six or eight of us, that are mostly still in the program to this day. I got paired up with a lab partner who happened to be in her 30s and when working with me in the lab, she said, "Why are you going to be a nurse?" ..... I said, "Well, I want to help people, and yadayadayada, and she interrupted with, "No, I mean...why not just be a doctor? You're so young yet, and you are so smart. YOu are definitely smart enough to be a doctor." Back then, I was too surprised to come back with a response. What I wish now that I could have said then is, "I am smart enough to become a nurse too, which in my opinion, is harder anyway." I probably, probably could squeak by in med school and be a doctor. But I don't want to be the medical personnel that comes in for five minutes, gets paid more than the nurse makes in a shift for that five minutes, and be the superhero, and then leave. I would honestly, 100%, rather be the hard-working nurse that is with the patient for the whole 12 hours. The doctors make the calls, yes, but the nurses make the difference.


Speaking of patients, the same day as the doctor-nurse mix-up, I had a rather interesting case.

Let me explain the logistics quickly so you understand what I'm talking about. In this clinical, we switch locations every two weeks, and we work in pairs, but different pairs every week. Its confusing in theory, but actually makes a lot of sense. We also have preconference before every clinical, and so therefore I hear stories about the location I will be going to next- from classmates that go before me.


Well, two weeks before I was scheduled to go to this senior center, I heard about this one lady in particular, that had a very high blood pressure reading. This reading gave her so much anxiety that she "ripped out of the parking lot" and rushed to the ER immediately. The next week, the story went that she came back and the doctor (here we go again) said that "you shouldn't have let the student nurses take your blood pressure and that they got a wrong reading". Also, apparently we got her too "worked up" even though my group of classmates is the sweetest and calmest bunch of girls (and one guy) that I can think of. . Regardless, they took it again and it was still high. The next week, the week I was there, she came in again at the beginning of our shift. THe reading was still high, but this was the first week that I actually got to talk to her and meet her for myself. She was extremely "peppy" and very outgoing, and nice. She also showed signs of a generalized anxiety disorder, probably one of her contributions to her high blood pressure. Regardless, she came in again that same day and got it rechecked because she was so mad at the high reading the first time. It was still high. We tried different arms, different people reading the pressure, and even kept her in room a while and got her relaxed before we took it.

This past week when I went in, my partner (the male) had to step out for a minute and walk another patient out to her car. So I began chatting with her, and asked her how she had been feeling (regarding blood pressure, general wellness, etc.) and she said, "Not well." I asked her how she hadn't been feeling well and she said that she suffers from depression. I had a surprised look on my face-which we aren't supposed to do- but that shows how suprised I really was- and I said- "You wouldn't know it- you are always so peppy and outgoing." And she said, "Its just an act." I didn't know what to say, so I took the blood pressure reading and gave her the number, while I thought of the next step to take with this new twist to the case. But she quickly ran out of the room before I could do anything and said she'd be back for a second reading.


So I felt like crap for the rest of the day. We have learned so many techniques in our psychiatric and fundamentals course over the years on what to do with a depressed client/patient. But was this the time to discuss her depression? I didn't even know what to really say. There was the usual sayings that popped into mind- "Are you planning to hurt yourself? Or "would you like to talk about it?" ...I couldn't even tell her that she could talk to me anytime she wanted or that I would be there next week-because I wouldn't be. As much as I wanted to spend an hour with her and talk to her, I don't even know what I would really say to make her feel better. I've gone through this before- when I am in this "what to say" dilemma, and I realized that when I am down on something myself- I don't want to talk to someone with all the answers, I just want someone to listen. I just wish now that I had given her the opportunity to just talk to someone that was there to listen.

For comic relief, we soon after had a man with a very heavy accent. When he left, I said to my classmate, "Well, I guess he was taiwanese?" and he said, "How do you know?" and I said, "He had a shirt on that said, "I *heart* Taiwan". "Oh."

OK, I guess that sums up the majority of my updates over the past week. I do plan to be back on a regular blogging schedule now!

I would like to leave you with *someone else's blog post* that I found absolutely hilarious.


Twenty Something Thoughts



I truely laughed out loud on multiple occaisions, and when I laugh out loud- it has to be really funny. For anyone that is in their twenties, or maybe even early thirties, or really any age (maybe) this is so funny. Please read. It was grateful comic relief reading for this major storm I've been through. I've read a couple other entries from this blogger( http://www.juliestagis.wordpress.com/) and she seems pretty funny overall so I'd like to read more.


Well thats all for now- Now I have to start swimming again and get started on the next bout of stormy seas.......

Sorry I've been nonexistent again- I will try not to let it happen again ;-)

~ A Writer in a Nurses's Body

(Totally) random thought of my day.

Today is just one of those days that all I want to do is think in an English Accent. No, I'm totally serious. My thoughts are literally transmitting in an english accent. I am not kidding when I say I have to think before I speak and speak "normally" (for my country). Otherwise I would like a complete idiot. I think this happens when I am really stressed and my body goes into malfunction mode and my brain is all like HEY DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA? Let's screw with Julie and make her think in different languages! YAY!

I think In spanish sometimes too. Is that weird?

Meaning, I think of something I need to transmit or say and then I think of how I would say it in Spanish....for some reason. Or, other times, random spanish phrases pop into my head and it is up to me to translate them....again..with the whole "brain is screwing with me thing". Do you see what I have to deal with every day?? My brain.


I seriously need ADHD medication. Today is exceedingly worse than all other days.


@)#)@(#*WNB!

11:11

Its that time to make a wish. Except every time I glance at the clock and its 11:11, (which happens often actually), I never know what to wish for. I always feel like put on the spot, like-ok GO make a wish! What do you want most in the world?? Wish for it now! I feel like that when everyone stares at you when you blow your birthday candles out. Who actually can make a wish under that pressure? I remember being a kid and I was like....well, I can't think of anything, so....I wish that I could fly.

Clearly, that didnt happen. So every time 11:11 comes around, I'm still at a loss. I go through hard moments in my life and I make wishes/prayers to get me through those moments, but when its *time* to make a wish, I'm like...I don't need anything.
Just something I thought I'd share. I hadn't intended on writing about 11:11 until I logged on to write this blog and it was 11:11, the second night in a row that it was 11:11 right when I looked at the clock.

I did something today that I don't normally do and have only done once before.
Went to a movie alllll by myself.

Lame and pathetic and sad? Probably.
Peaceful and relaxing and .....quiet? YES. :-)

It was very nice actually. Once you get over the hump of walking in by your self and sitting down in a crowd of people, alone, and the movie starts and everyone is absorbed by the movie, being alone is very nice. No one whispering in your ear because they have to tell you something or ask you to repeat what an actor said...No one to yell at you for putting your feet up..( besides the employees). No one munching popcorn in your ear. Just you. And the movie.

Which happened to be, an amazing movie. Seriously, I think the best movie (one of the best) I've ever seen. It was right down my alley- It was Hereafter. I love the psychic realm, and life after death concept. I think the movie was pretty right on as to predicting what happens, but who really knows. THats what I imagine it like at least. But anyway, Hereafter was amazing. Go see it. Except the majority of the movie is placed in London- so everyone has an English accent. And of course me, who everytime I hear someone speak in an accent, I pick it up. So for the whole rest of the night, all of my thoughts have been in an English accent. I wish I was kidding. I had to order from starbucks in half an accent. I wish I could explain how it happens, or that I'm not making it up. I literally have to try hard to remember how Americans (me!) says a word before I go speaking with an accent in front of my friends. It has happened since I was a kid (middle school) and I would hear a friend talk with an accent, and she would think I was mocking her when I started to pick it up, but it really just started coming out that way. It happened in clinical once, when my preceptor nurse was from England, and I was with her all day and then when I popped my head out to ask my professor a question who was across the hall, what accent blurted out to everyone, including my professor, across the entire hallway?

maybe it is something psychological. Or maybe its something physiological- maybe something in my brain is like...switching. I say this because when I came "home" to my dorm tonight, I turned the key the wrong way to get in. And I thought to myself- this is the right way. Is the door already open? No. THis is the right way to turn the key. I had to take a step back and realize it really was turning the wrong way.

Good thing I didnt try and drive the car on the wrong side of the road.

Ahhh I wish I was joking because by publishing this I sound like a total lunatic. Especially from United Kingdom readers, who will especially think I am bogus. oh well.

Point of this blog- go see Hereafter!.

~A Writer in a Nurse's Body

The English Language In 24 Accents

I thought I was good--But THIS guy is AMAZING! Seriously very good. I hope I can nail as many as he can one day lol