Contagion

Okay.


So, despite the fact that I do occasionally like to do movie reviews, this isn't exactly a movie review. But it kind of is. More so, it's commenting on the fact of how real it is.




First of all, go see the movie so you know what I'm talking about. I will *try* not to give too much away after this line but you never know. Just go see it. For those of you that are squeemish, there's only one squeem-producing scene, the rest is all fine to watch.



Okay so the movie centers around the fact that a strand of the avian influenza virus has struck the human species, in a form that is transmitted from human to human, rather than just bird to human. Being the fact that humans are usually so social and we are obsessed with touching so many things, any human contact transmission disease/virus spreads like wildfire. Also, thanks to how fast we can travel nowadays *and* how travel weakens the immune system of those travelling (lack of sleep, lack of nutrition, new environment/new bacteria/crowded air-bus-train travel), its sure-fire that the world would be just as much if not more danger than the movie actually presents.

In the movie, the virus starts spreading like wildfire. First 2, then 4, then 16, then hundreds, then thousands, millions, and so on (Which is how it would happen in real life). Then the CDC & WHO take notice and get involved and naturally, send out officers to try and figure out the root of this virus and to stop it (which would also happen in real life except a lot more than 3 main officers would be on the case).


But then news gets out. And thats when things go sour. People start panicking. Panic is contagious in and of itself. One person panics and suddenly no one knows what to believe. Think about it, you leave your house and you're on your front porch. A stranger is running around outside screaming in terror, running in the other direction. Wouldn't that make you a little panicky?

So, panic + human race makes greed. There is simply too many people in this world and not enough supplies for everyone....and thats with things running smoothly! When worldwide disaster strikes, everything shuts down and suddenly no one knows what to do. Food? Water? Electronics? People start raiding stores. Some for basic necessities, others in pure greed and opportunity to loot. When stores run out, people start breaking into peoples houses, stealing from one another on the street. And in the case of a worldwide epidemic, the support you would normally turn to, is probably sick. The police are sick, and even the healthy ones are probably not going to try and battle the crazed streets, risking their lives and risking getting sick and bringing it home to their family. So chances are the cops are out, the healthcare, emergency squads, firemen, etc. So then it's every man for himself. Unfortunately. Especially with a pandemic, it gets especially tricky. You want to trust your neighbor, but suddenly you can't trust anyone. Everyone but you and *maybe* your family is the enemy. Anyone could be sick. So people can't even bond together and fight and help each other out until proven immune.


And then the vaccine or cure of some type comes out. And then it gets even worse.  People kill each other to get their hands on it first.


So, it could happen. I've been learning about the possibility ever since nursing school and since then I've been worried, because now I know how easily it could happen and how unprepared we are as a nation and as a planet. I don't think our hospitals are ready. I don't think the country as a collective average whole is educated enough to know the basics of what-to-do and what-not-to-do during this type of pandemic. And when its already happening, its too late. Its too late to educate then, because during, who can you really even believe?


I have a gnawing feeling that despite everyone being worried about 2012 and the "mysterious end of the world" and the "sun exploding"  or "us being swallowed by a blackhole".....thats all possibility. But a pandemic is a pending reality. I think it could be the end of the world and people don't even realize it. The sad thing is it could all so easily be prevented. First prevention, secondary and tertiary prevention. I think if the virus/plague didn't kill us all on its own, the survivors would kill each other or we would all starve/dehydrate. It would be a pretty awful world.


So thats my depressing post. Overall the movie was excellent. It really depicts the reality of the situation and I hope it opens peoples eyes. People need to see what could happen. What will happen if were not careful.



Goodnight! Go see it !

~ A Writer in a Nurse's Body

Japan

My thoughts and heart go out to those affected in Japan, Hawaii and soon-to-be West Coast of the United States. I know my thoughts and prayers and heart don't do you much good when you are struggling with floods in your home, deaths in your family, and disaster on the streets, but do know that the rest of the world sends their positive energy and many of us are thinking of you. You are not alone.

I wish I could be in the disaster relief efforts...as a nurse. Maybe next year I'll be in disaster relief. I wish I was there helping you guys rather than sending good thoughts.

<3

The Many Me's of Future Me: Part Dos

Okay, Now that I finally have time to sit down and write this, lets do this! Let me warn you now- this WILL be a long post.

It all started last year. ROTC Army nurse recruiters came to my Student Nurse Association meeting and gave a presentation about the army and its benefits, why we should all give up everything and join, etc...

My thoughts about the army before the presentation?
 "Army guys are hot"...."Or...I could never do that" or "Anyone that joins the army right now is insane...we are in the middle of a war."

My thoughts after the presentation?
"I could do this.."

 What happened next was the most ballsy thing I had ever done in my life ever. (Not to mention- this time last year I was in my "JUST DO IT" Phase, when I joined all the clubs I was afraid to join and did everything without fear because I was just in an adrenaline phase).

I sat there, in my plastic seat- Similar to the ones I had spent the last three years of school in- watching the recruiters pack up. There were three of them. Two guys and a girl. My thoughts:
I can't. There is no way. Could I? There is no way. I can NOT join the army. I am just me. I am weak. I would fail miserably. But it can't hurt to talk to them, could it? Yes, yes it could hurt. These guys are in the army. They are serious. They wouldn't want me. THey would laugh at me. I'm not in shape, they would say I'm not army material and tell me to go away. Would they? I know a girl in ROTC- If she could do it, I can too...right? I am going to go talk to them. No, I can't. *Indecision goes on for at least ten minutes while recruiter packs up*. *recruiter leaves* *SNA meeting continues*   Oh my god, they left. I just passed up my opportunity to join, If i had wanted too. I should have just went and talked to them. *realizes they are still in the hallway* .....

This is when my automatic pilot actually turned on. Adrenaline kicked in and I pushed out my chair from the table, ignored the questions from friends as to where I was going. I left the room, went into the hallway and introduced myself. I did it. He was interested in me, of course, thats what they came here to do. We set up an appointment to have a "real" meeting and swapped emails. I sat back in my seat and asked myself...What the hell did I just do?

It was a rocky week after that. We met, twice. We talked about the army and everything it had to offer. We talked about the drawbacks. The commitment. The benefits. The classes I would have to catch up on. Basic training. Other girls in the army. Iraq. Signing.

I couldn't sign.

Here is why it comes down to:
- I didn't believe in myself. I didn't think I would make it.
- I didn't think I was "fit" enough to make it through boot camp.
- I was afraid of the commitment.
- Me joining would have caused me to lose and hurt a lot of people in my life.
- I couldn't tell my parents.

For a more intricate narrative of what I was going through at this time, read this. It might make more sense:   TeamWork  Its really long, but the army frustration comes in about 3/4 through.

I wasn't in a good place, my thoughts were everywhere, all the time. I was in an adrenaline-save-me phase and just wanted something (army) that could bring me somewhere. I was in the midst of having just finished one of the hardest semesters I had ever gone through, and at the bottom of the hill for two harder semesters yet to come. I didn't have any faith that I could even pass those classes. Somehow, I did, and now I am writing about my future because graduation is in 2 months. Crazy.

After I told myself I was done with the army business and that I would not be signing, and I didn't have to scare myself with any recruiters, I sighed a huge sigh of relief. I thought to myself, "I can't believe I did that. What was I thinking?" I had somehow been so sure that I was going to join that it seemed unnatural at first to be done with it, to not go through with it. As much as I liked the idea of joining, I couldn't go through with the commitment it required...

 Well, my fascination of the army never retreated after that. In fact, it grew to extend a fascination of the Air Force, maybe even more so than the army, but probably pretty equal. I have been on top of the army, reading about their progress and whats been going on in the newspapers as much as possible over the past year. Someone says army and I instantly look. I read three books written by army nurses, 1 from Vietnam and 2 from Iraq. I loved it. I knew that I could do what they had written. It made it more realistic- It drew a better picture of what I was missing, what I would be getting if I signed up.

At this past nursing convention, another army recruiter was there. This time I wasn't nervous to go talk, it felt natural. I wanted to. I picked up some brochures, talked a little.

I GOT LOTS OF COOL STUFFF!!!!!! Recruiters are good at that.

Then I went to my last seminar for the day, one I was really excited about, which was "Disaster Preparedness" which was taught by two female air force nurses. They were best friends. They had pictures of them in Iraq. They came back, they are still alive. I was fascinated. Me and a friend stayed behind after the lecture, and talked about the consequences of joining if we each had "food intolerances"- I can't have any dairy and she couldnt have any wheat. It would be hard, but she said we could still do it.

So this brings me to why I wanted to write Part 2. For me, and for anyone that cares what happens to me after Graduation. As of *right now* these are the (specific) pathways I am considering.

1) There are two nurse residency programs in Denver, Colorado. I group them together because they are associated with the same hospital but one is with the Children's portion of the hospital and the other is general nursing. I want to go to CO because it is something new. I fell in love with the state in my senior year while on vacation. I said to myself, "I want to live here", and I never forgot.  Why I don't want to go: I'd have no support. My family doesn't support it and I need my family in my life. Also, I would miss the ocean terribly. Moving to CO is as big and scary to me as potentially joining the army.

2) I could stay in New Jersey and work for the same hospital I have been with for the past five years. Why I should do this: I know everyone, I have everyone's support, I love the staff there, I know how things work, I know where everything is, my family wants me to stay local for the rest of my life.... reasons I shouldn't: If I stay now, I will never leave. I know myself enough to know I will never grow the balls to leave my job and move to CO "Just because I want to", especially if, by then, if I have kids or a boyfriend/husband.  As the years go on, it will be harder and harder to make the move. Also, as much as I love the area I grew up in, I just want somewhere new. Sometimes it takes moving away from home to realize how much you want to BE home. I know, I realize completely what I would be giving up: Where I live, I am an hour from NYC. I am five minutes away from back dirt roads that wind away to the heart of New Jersey. I am 2-4 hours away from the Atlantic ocean. It is a day trip. I have every restaurant or store I could possibly ever think of in a 30 mile radius. But...I just want to see what else is out there. Is that so wrong? If I hate it, I can come back home....can't I?

3) Join the U.S. Public Health Commissioned Corps. This is a 4 commitment. Benefits are excellent. Here's what they do:
•Perform traditional clinical services, including inpatient and outpatient care ranging from newborn care to geriatric services, from obstetrics to orthopedics to mental health, from prevention services to chronic care or acute disease management.
•Conduct research.
•Manage the review and approval of drugs and medical products.
•Respond to public health emergencies.
•Develop and implement national health policies.
•Develop and implement clinical practice guidelines and evidence-based reports on health care.
•Coordinate prevention and education efforts on a variety of public health issues.
•Develop nursing training and education programs for basic and advanced practice nurses.

Here are the benefits:
•Competitive starting pay that increases with promotions and years of service
•Health care and dental care at no cost
•Tax-free housing and meal allowances
•Thirty days of paid vacation per year—beginning the first year
•Paid sick leave
•Paid maternity leave
•Paid Federal holidays
•Malpractice insurance coverage
•A retirement plan with benefits eligibility beginning after 20 years of service
•Thrift Savings Plan [retirement savings and investment plan similar to a 401(k)]
•Low-cost life insurance
•Low-cost health care for your family.
•Malpractice insurance coverage
•Paid moving expenses when you join the Corps and relocation expenses if and when you change jobs
•Paid expenses for travel related to your job
•Access to military base lodging and recreational facilities
•Shopping privileges at military base grocery and department stores
•Veterans Affairs benefits, such as survivor and disability benefits, home loans, and burial allowances.

THIS IS AMAZING.

And, you can work anywhere in the United States...and jump around if you get tired easily, Like I do.

!!!!!! enough said.

4) I join the army or air force right off the bat. 8 year commitment. lots of the same benefits as listed above. I could be sent to Iraq, yes. But..if I do the corps, I could switch over to army/airforce later in life and keep my rank. So, its a lot to think about.


Well, those are my *main* options. I have been waiting for something perfect to just come along and say BAM! THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO!!!! And I think just maybe, maybe that is the corps screaming that. It makes a lot of sense. But is still scary.

Here is a picture I made, without intentions of posting. I started with the "What now?" And kept going, until there were no empty spaces left. It says everything on my mind.

 
 
Thank you for taking the time to read all the way down this far. I appreciate it....
 
With so much love,
 
~A Writer in a Nurse's Body
 
PS- I like input. :-) 
 
PSS my spell check is not picking things up like "Pdfjkhsdkfh" so I don't think its working....so sorry if there is a lot of ridiculous spelling errors. Despite wanting to be a writer, (dont even get me started on where that fits in to my plans), I can't spell. Sorry.

Atlantic City and Disaster Preparedness

Well, let me tell you now that this is not Part 2. I am not ready to spit out Part 2 yet....for many reasons. Lots of big bombshells in part 2. ooooh, *suspense* ! No but anyway, today I am going to entertain you with pictures of the week! Yes, you get picture(s)! And these are not on my campus, of babysitting or at home. They are from Atlantic City! Thumbs up for variety! Woot!

Anyway, lets show you some prettiness first and then we shall discuss the prettiness.

Person reading on the beach....perfect. I am jealous.

Beautiful birds.

Pier Shops Mall

From the boardwalk

Empty beach....love it.

So this past Thursday and Friday I attended the State Student Nurses Convention for New Jersey, and it was pretty interesting. I learned a lot of things and not just for nursing.

1) I love the beach. I love the beach, I love it. I am in love, with the beach. This is something HUGE to consider if I choose to move to Colorado. I will be really far from either ocean. That is a major disadvantage. This part of me means a lot, and I will bring back up my love for the beach.

2) I got some practice with how I'm going to conquer Europe with my food allergies and health issues and having a hotel roommate(s), not being in my own "home"...I spent the two days with my only alone time as time in the bathroom. That is hard for me. I cherish alone time. I love being with people, too, but I am one of those people that needs some alone time too. With a two day trip, I was prepared. I brought poptarts, which are dairy free, to eat as emergency snacks in case something was not provided. Otherwise I did OK. I ate the poptarts for Day 1 breakfast, lunch was provided for us Day 2- (Ham sandwich, chips, apple, cookie.) I was nervous about this because of the ham and its probable infestation with sodium nitrate, but I surprisingly did not get a headache. I ate the sandwich & chips. For snack later, because I could feel my energy depleting rapidly as well as my blood sugar, I ate the cookie...despite knowing that 1) It had milk, and 2) it had chocolate, which also has milk in addition to giving me a headache anyway. So, as you can predict, that made me feel sick. Dinner was a buffet and I found some chicken and broccoli, turkey and plain noodles. Still felt sick after, probably the minor amount of gravy on turkey. Day 2- breakfast provided- but only gave muffins, fruit & pastries. I was late, only made it in time for cantaloupe (sensitivity) and muffins and pastries...both with milk. so, yeah.
Europe will be interesting. To say the least. I am going to have to bring Lactaid pills and take it with every meal/snack because I most likely wont know over there what has what in it....

3) I learned a lot about nursing I didn't know before. I went to a disaster preparedness seminar....taught by two air force nurses. It was amazing. Did you know you can get your masters in Disaster preparedness? Do you know how extremely interested in this I am? Extremely. Thats how much. I am considering this, very much so.

4) Here is where the beach comes back in. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. So I had a ten minute break. I walked to the window and saw this:

The ocean. The conference was held with a huge window view of the ocean, how unfair is that??  I then turned to the right and saw  a lot of people on the boardwalk, and a couple people playing around on the beach. I sighed. I looked at my schedule. All the seminars offered at that moment were ones I wasn't too terribly interested in...and it would be so easy for me to just go for a walk on the beach. At that point i hadn't been to the beach yet, at all this season. We literally pulled into the parking garage and stayed indoors the entire time. It would have been so easy to take the hour off and go....

But I didn't. I put my responsibility coat on and went to a seminar about what recruiters are looking for. It was the adult thing to do. I chose responsibility over playing around on the beach......am i growing up? Or am i just a wimp and didn't want to "break the rules"? Either way....hm.

Speaking of responsibility and adult-ness, I have been far too busy to do my share of NYT reading, which greatly disappoints me. I plan to do better this week. I have immense amounts of trouble doing one thing, the same thing,  every day. I don't like monotony. But thats not even my excuse. I've just been so busy. BUT, I do have this new book:

And it really is making me smarter. Each weekend it teaches you about something new. And it is written by the NYT writers...This weekend I got a review of the two world wars. It was a nice review and now I feel I can answer a couple questions and hold my own with a smart person...about the world wars. Then I would politely leave the conversation when it got more complex than that.

So, overall, the convention was a big learning experience and I am glad I went.

Tomorrow I will *try* to write my "Part 2" from yesterday. I already wrote some of it. But it requires a lot of thinking so we shall see.

Goodnight world,

~A Writer in a Nurse's Body