A Surprise at Dawn...

So, I'm a dork (yes) but have been tracking Venus' status in the sky recently. WHen I sleep at home, I have this magical view of the stars when I go to bed at night, as my bed lies paralell with my window. I also will very often randomly wake up in the middle of the night, put on my glasses and stare at the stars and try and figure out what each one is or find constellations. Its pretty fun, not gonna lie. Well anyway, a couple of weeks ago I read on a site that Venus would be its brightest December 1-4, and wouldnt be this bright again til 2012. It is best visible right along side the moon at 5:30 am, (where i live- I'm not smart enough to figure out if this applies elsewhere). And get this- every morning I have been somehow been waking up randomly in this time frame and get to see Venus at its brightest, and its pretty fascinating. I would totally take an astronomy class if I could. So cool! Here is a picture:




So pretty. This morning I left for my LAST clinical (woot!) at 6:00am and saw this when I was driving and was almost half tempted to pull the car over and take a picture of venus and the small moon beside it with the sun rising at the bottom (just like in the drawing!) but I didnt have enough confidence that my iphone could pull that amount of awesomeness off.


If you are a strange bird like me and wake up randomly, look for it. I promise it will make you smile...It just will.

Sirius

My new favorite star is Sirius. It's right outside my window. It's right below a magnificent view of O'rion.



And best of all?

It twinkles.


:-)

No really, it does. Twinkle.

Stars and planes

When I was a kid, I used to think that if you went in a plane, the stars and moon got significantly bigger and you just flew right past them.

TOTALLY forgot to mention!

I saw a shooting star last night! I was driving home from therapy (barnes and noble) and I literally just happened to look up at this very moment, and something caught my eye. I thought it was a very fast plane (unrealistic but it was my instinct thought) but then it disappeared. And I was like, totally woah just saw a shooting star!! It was pretty epic. If thats not an angel looking after me and letting me know I will be OK, then I'm not sure what is. Literally, how else could I have looked up at that very second to see it? Funny how things work...

But again, See my earlier post "11:11" for this, I didn't know what to wish for. I saw it and I was like, OK....hmm...now make a wish...what should I wish for? I don't know...what do I want?...I don't know...I don't think I need anything right now....except to pass my next test...and the test after that... and my final..." so needless to say, I wished something along those lines. (I have to give the wish some mysterious quality so I can at least say it was somewhat secretive so It might come true). I seriously hope it does, because I need to pass all of those tests.


But anyway, that was my second sighting of a shooting star and it is truly magical. If that doesn't make you smile then you are a robot. And that's that.

Tossing and Turning

is way more fun. My body feels that it is more fun to continously keep rolling around in bed, than to sleep. I have to be up in....5 hours. so I can chase kids around til 2. I had way too much caffeine today. Stupid headaches.



I really might go outside and watch the stars. I wish we still had our swingset, as dorky as that sounds, I wish I could go sit on the swings and watch the stars. I just wish I had someone to do it with. I don't. I can't. I won't.


I need to find a way to reverse the effects of caffeine--fast. Geez, I took the Excedrin at like 5:00. Seriously. I'm already hyper without any help, and with caffeine not only do i have physical hand tremors but my mind is seriously like- wired- thoughts flying like crazy, keeping me awake. Thinking too much is very dangerous.

I am so frigggen HUNGRY. its 1 am. Why am I hungry? No clue. I have been such a bum-poop this week in terms of my weight loss regimen. i havent weighed myself in over a week but I can tell its not going well. And of course, the whole reason I wanted to lose weight this summer, is this saturday. THe worst week possible for me to be a total bum-poop. bahhh. I need to figure me out soon.


I think I need to get my ass back to school, I seriously cannot wait. I think that will help a LOT. Get out of this house, be on my own again....away from all this...heartbreak that surrounds me here. A day does not go by that I do not wish to go sit in my car and scream as loud as I can because no one can hear it. One of the few places that I can just be alone. There is one particular thing pressing on my heart right now and it is the most frustrating thing (actually thats a lie-I've been through tremendously worse.). but it is pretty heartbreaking still.

Ok-- attempt number....3 ....to shut my brain off and sleep. And stop thinking about food. Geez.

Watching stars with you..

...I wish I were.





I can see Jupiter outside my window. I can even see it without my glasses, so you know it's bright. It makes me really happy, for some reason, I have no clue why. It just makes me feel so happy inside.

That reminds me--a week or so ago, when I was at the beach, we were waiting to get into a restaurant, and had to wait outside. It was one of the hottest evenings, and everyone was complaining about the heat. I went to go sit alone on a far away bench, and brought out my Suduko and sat there alone in peace, in the heat. A very good friend came up to me, sat beside me and watched me to my puzzle...and eventually said, "you don't mind sitting directly in the sun?" And I smiled and said, (almost laughing), "No, I don't mind. Because it's warm. It's a Happy warm." That made him smile, he thought it was interesting. "A Happy warm...that is very interesting. A Happy warm. I like that." And he walked away, leaving me wonder what he thought I meant by happy warm. It just felt....like...the sun was at a perfect temperature I guess. I guess it really is true that Vitamin D can make you feel better. Sun helps a lot....It just made me feel so warm and that everything would be alright.

I wish I were outside, lying on the grass, listening to some awesome music, watching the stars, waiting for a shooting star....thats where I want to be.