A Story and a Dream

"If theres any body out there listening to me, all I have is a story and a dream. Here I am, and thats all that I can be." -Tori Kelly

Hi. It's me. I'm writing again. I'm here.

I've been thinking about this blog for a very long time. It started in 2009 and around 2013 I lost my drive, my writing mojo. All together. I tried so hard to keep it all together and as my nursing career was starting and going strong I began to lose the writers part of my brain. I began to feel burnt out as a nurse after my 3rd year and it started to consume my entire life, my entire brain. It made me not want to write anymore. I didn't feel like I had anything to say. For awhile I tried making 1-2 posts a year but that just made me feel even worse. Even more guilty.

I guess part of me didn't know what to say and the other part of me didn't want to let my audience down. I worked so hard bringing this blog to where it was, gained so many followers and internet attention as It was being born- and then during my block- sometimes I would think of a post and instead of just going with it like I used to- Who cared what people thought?- I would filter it and ask myself, is this good enough for my blog? And usually I'd talk myself out of it or then find myself too busy to log on and try so the thought wouldn't come to fruition. The evil cycle continued.

However lately, my life has taken many strange and exciting turns. It has been a rollercoaster, to say the least. Like I said, I've been thinking about this blog and have desired to start it back up for quite some time now. But again thought to myself, do I have anything to say? But now I have realized within myself- the same self that started this back in 2009 that who cares what people think? This is my blog, my writing, my self. Lately I've really started paying attention to myself and reacting and standing up for myself and whats right. So from now on I will write what comes to mind and if it bores you then great, find a list to the right hand side of my page with other fantastic blogs you should go read. I need this. I need this blog now to be an open space for me.

So where is my life now? Where is my career? In recent exciting news, I have gotten married! Yeah! Crazy. I married a wonderful gentleman back in October. To say the least, it's been an incredible but very busy fall! I thank fates and heaven every day for my husband and this wonderful man, even though i'm pretty sure he doesn't even know how thankful I am for him every day. I try so hard to be a "good wife" but its not in my genetic code to be very wifely. Once in awhile I pull through for him though. ;) He's so patient with me, takes care of me, encourages me, inspires me, questions me in a good way, watches out for me, protects me, and loves me so much. Just the other day I was explaining to someone else that found them self in a rather new relationship- the friend asked me how I knew this man was the one- I said because we can read each other's minds. Although that sounds telepathic and futuristic- Its true! We can't actually, but we almost always know what the other is thinking.

We haven't been able to take a honeymoon however, much to our dismay. Why? That leads me to my next exciting news. My career took an exciting change for the better in August. The Hospital Network I work for has recently decided to adapt a new electronic health record system. For privacy purposes, I won't outwardly say which one, but if you know anything about health informatics and what system is currently sweeping the entire nation- you can probably guess which one. In August I was selected to come on to a team of trainers to teach all the nurses and care assistants in my entire network on how to use this system before it goes-live. So even though I had spent the last four years on the nursing unit at the patients bedside, I decided it was time for a "break" from the bedside and to follow my heart into healthcare informatics. Although I had never really been a trainer or teacher of any kind before August, I dove right in and for the last few months have been teaching nurses!

My mom is a sixth grade teacher. Growing up watching what she did every day, I didn't think I had it in me-the strength to do what she did. I admired her but didn't think I ever could do it. But, it was what I faced at the time so I jumped right in and started teaching! I soon found out after a few bumps and practice runs that I actually loved to teach! Sure I had a ton of challenges and challenging people (turns out teaching adults is very hard!), but that feeling of sharing your own wealth of knowledge and seeing other people "get it", is very rewarding. I even had a student tell me I was the best teacher he has ever had, including nursing school, and grad school. Go figure!

I knew I was good at it and ran with it. I was good because I was a nurse, teaching nurses. I understood what they go through on a daily basis, because I went through it all too. I understood what I needed to teach them in order for them to be successful. I was able to relate to them, tell stories about my own nursing care, give examples and scenarios on how this new system will make *our* lives easier as nurses. It was the perfect recipe.

So that whole process of going-live with the software? Yeah, that starts tomorrow. I know I am prepared because being a trainer, I know the system inside and out. However I start my journey back on the patients bedside during this whole process, my trainer/teaching time opportunity is thus far all done. So the next couple weeks/months will be stressful at best as we all cope with this very big change in my network. I am personally excited, even though I know it will be stressful. I am excited for the end result because I know the system will eventually better our patient care, give us more time with our patients instead of unnecessary charting. Just, in time. Everything good happens in time, right ? Something like that?

All that time all fall in the classroom has also inspired me to *finally* begin my Masters of Nursing program at a local university, in Clinical Nurse Leadership. I start in a week and a half and I am sooooooooo excited, but also nervous! I LOVE school, and I LOVE to be a student, and I am such a nerd because I honestly seriously do LOVE to learn new things. I want to soak up all the knowledge in the world, the only trick is remembering it all! And paying for all that knowledge. -__-

So upcoming between my return to the unit and starting school, I will have a ton to write about! I will also need this venting space now more than ever. I don't know how I will find the time, but somehow I found the time during my Bachelors program so I can find it now too.

Also in recent months, my beloved 85 year old grandma and best friend, has moved into my state! I tried for it to be the same town, but two towns over isn't too shabby either. She used to live in Long Island, New York, and on a good day it was 3 hours to go see her. On a bad day, up to 6 hours. With her increasing age and frailty, that was too long to travel on a moments notice. So the past couple months has been lots of realty and picking things out and spending time with lawyers, but best of all spending more time with my Grandma. She moved December 10th and I have been able to spend so much more time with her since. I already considered her my best friend prior, I have since I was a child- but even more so now. I am able to get to know so much more about her, and her I. The best part is with all this time spent with her, I felt inspired of all her tales about her life that I wanted to write about it all. So I'm writing a brand new, fresh start, new book. I know I've said that before, but this one feels different... It just does.


Well, this has been a long enough first blog back. I work all weekend as we "go-live", but I assure you after this weekend, I will post again to tell you all about how that all went down. Probably with a glass of wine. ;)

For the followers that still follow, thank you from the bottom of my heart for still having interest. For any newcomers, welcome!


With love,


A Writer in a Nurse's Body


P.S. That quote up top and the title of my post. There's a (small) story to that. As I tried to muster up the courage to come on here and write again, as I loaded the webpage, a song by Tori Kelly called "Where I belong" came on and I heard these lyrics and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Because thats exactly what I think, what I am, where I belong. I am just a girl with a story and a dream.

The Forbidden Nursing Word

If you go on to any nursing unit, anywhere- Chances are there will be a universal unwritten rule amongst the staff nurses that it is never acceptable to say 'boy, its a quiet night tonight'. The forbidden word in that sentence being "quiet". Also on the list of major forbidden words, "what a boring night."  It is okay to say these words only if you seek trauma/psychos/crazyshit to happen and you are the person willing to deal with all this crazyshit because you are the one that said it.



So that's the universal unwritten rule in nursing. But why is that? Doesn't that just add to our job dissatisfaction? Are we not allowed to bask in the joy of having a slow moment when not all of your patients are going ballistic? Why are we one of the few professions where we are not allowed to say "its so quiet. I'm going to enjoy this moment." Nurses believe in karmic balance, we believe in jinxes, we believe in full moons. At least on my unit. We all know that if that word is said, we can expect things to start picking up. In a bad way.

We believe in jinxes. Way too heavily. A couple of weeks ago, I was bragging profusely to a coworker that despite working on this job for nearly 6 years, I had never been assaulted. Kicked, punched, hit, bitten, scratched. Nothing. What happens 4 hours later? I got punched. Big time. By a patient. If that's not enough to make you think twice about the jinx phenomenon- Get this: We had a quiet night last night- not much going on. We were all walking on ice- afraid to say that word, but were finally happy to be able to take a little bit of a deep breath. Then- Out of the blue- 2am- we get a code blue. One of our patients stopped breathing. We of course call out all the stops and whatnot, run the code. The patient ended up not making it. After the code, during the time I was sitting down with the resident having him sign the papers, he told me- "I think this is my fault." I asked him, what do you mean?  He said back, "Earlier this shift I was bragging to the other residents I've never had to pronounce any of my patients dead yet."

After he said that, I wanted to punch him in the face. Why would someone ever bring that karmic invite on?...

Lately the unit has been......insane. I have never particularly enjoyed psychiatric patients, and in the past two weeks I've been punched by a psych patient, and taken 4 knives away from another. Both under my direct supervision. And besides those incidents, its just been a run for our money in every way. A true test of patience, strength, passion and endurance.


I've discovered something about myself in all of this though, a new defense mechanism I didn't even really know I had in me. On the unit, there have been moments where everything is coming at you at once, you are having the worst possible night, no one can help you because everyone else is having a bad night too (in addition to your hospital being severely understaffed), and you face a decision: You lose it and throw a complete temper tantrum on the floor/ run out of the hospital screaming, or you find SOME way to keep yourself together. Not just together,  but you have to be able to put on a smile and keep calm entirely in front of your patients and not let them see you're having a bad night in any way. Its definitely not easy.

So my new defense mechanism is something new. In order to prevent my inner psyche from going completely nuts, I went into what I see as an emotional shutdown. I went through the motions. I did what I had to do. I said only what needed to be said. I remained calm. I thought things through. I did my job. But I wasn't emotionally there...I couldn't be. Its like my brain and body were still working but my mind and soul weren't.

On my particular unit, we can't really take breaks. There are only two nurses on staff at all times and leaving the floor is not allowed. So my break consists of eating a sandwich at the nurses station. Also, being that there are times we are severely understaffed and have no aide, if a call light or problem arises while you are sitting and eating your sandwich- you must go attend to this. So really, you don't get a "true break". There have been night shifts where I couldn't even find the 4 minutes it took to pee until about 5 am. That's why nurses have extraordinary bladders. They expand :-)

But all this has definitely made me re-think whether or not I chose the right career. Its gotten me pretty low in the dumps, and its brought on a lot of thought. Lets start with the good- I am incredibly thankful for where I have gone in life. Meaning- I love having the medical knowledge database in my head. I love figuring out the mysteries, I love diagnosing people, I love applying medical knowledge, I love explaining things to laypeople, I love knowing more than the residents (hehe). I love the fact that when I have kids, I will know how to help them medically. I love that If I'm first responder to any accident as a drivebyer- I can apply basic medical attention. I can respond to emergencies on airplanes. I want to learn more and more and more about the medical field and apply it all. Its like a giant equation, a giant puzzle- and I want to collect all the pieces.



I keep revolving back to the fact that I should have just followed my heart. My true heart. I just, once again, didn't have enough confidence in myself to believe I could succeed. I should have gotten a job that allowed me to exercise my creative artistic side at work. With Pixar. Or with a graphic design company. As a Writer. As a music-video design artist. As a movie-maker. ANY other job on this planet that could let me make art every day......that....would be my ultimate key to happiness. Sure I can make art on the side now. But in my time off- when I'm exhausted. When my mind is absolutely reeling from the shift I just had.

I think I'm mad at myself for just feeling this jaded after only five months of nursing. I wouldn't say that I am burned out, but the fire is lit and it shouldn't be. Not this early. I have to fix things. I'm tired of holding it all together. I'm tired of pretending to be strong.


_WNB.



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2012 New Year Resolutions

So, as annually expected, yesterdays post was about how I did with last years resolutions. This post is about changing for next year, new resolutions!  I have more this year, but a lot more short, sweet and too the point. I think. I hope. For your sake...


Anyway,

1) Have at LEAST half of my book #1 completely written by 2013. Part of me wants to say write the whole book by 2013, but....I'd rather be proud of myself for accomplishing a resolution than to not because I set the standard too high. So, yeah. Half the book. I think this is definitely possible.

2) I need to learn how to go with the flow....I'm 23, I have to stop trying to PLAN everything. Stop trying to overanalyze everything and just......be. Just do. Accept new challenges. Accept new people in my life. Do new things. Play new sports.

3) I want to really focus this year on becoming a much better nurse. I want to do a lot of research on my practice, and really better myself in unique abilities. My hospital is offering the position of a "wound care champion" that I might look into. It would be nice to be exceptionally good at at least one thing among the amazing nurses I work with.

4) Along with number 3, in general (in nursing and in life), I need to learn to be more confident in my abilities. In my self. In my knowledge. In my instincts. This is really hard. I need to trust myself.

5) I need to learn how to COOK! Not just any cooking, but I need to learn how to cook in general and cook for lactose intolerance specifically. So, I really need to get on this because right now my food groups consist of: Rice, beans, chicken, chinese food, fish & chips, vegetables, chicken tenders, fries, and smoothies. So, More variety needed? Yess.

6) I need to learn how to love again. But at the same time, I need to learn how to just be ok with me. I need to get to know myself better before I let myself attach to anyone else at this point. I feel like right now, when I "attach" to someone, or see someone, they are dating an empty vessel of a girl that needs to figure out a lot right now. I am in here, I promise. Just need to work on my firewall right now, let people in. Its a new year. New beginnings. Let our endings go. Forever, and ever, and hit the ground runnin! Woo.


7) I already am doing this, but I want to draw a LOT more. I already have drawn so much since school let out and I love it. I also want to do more with my photography this year. Like sell it. Big time. :-) On that note, look for a photography post sooN! I am WAY overdue!


Thats it. Short and sweet.


Have a good new year, ya'll! With love,


~WNB

YAY!

OK, Nightshift has mannyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy drawbacks. Excessive, even.

But, its really starting to illuminate its many advantages. Lets discuss.


Drawbacks:

• You're tired, all-the-time. Even on your days off. Just, all the time.
• You never know what day it is, ever.
• You never know when to eat and its confusing.
• Its lonely and there is no one to talk to, (people sleep when you re available to talk to, and you're asleep when they are available).
• Its really hard to go to doctor appointments, luncheons, or really do anything midday. Thats like asking you to go to a doctor appointment at 2 am and then go back to sleep for a couple hours and then be at work by 7 am. Do THAT.
•  Hospital Pharmacy isn't open at night. This. Sucks. (well, my hospital at least. I'm sure i'm in the minority here).
• You have to wake doctors up and get yelled at when all your patient needs is tylenol.
• You have to ethically debate first, if your problem is worth calling a doctor for/waking him up, and then debate if its doctor worthy or resident worthy.
• On nightshift, you are the nurse, the secretary, sometimes the aide, transport,  maintenance, IT dept, and anything else you could possibly think of. Especially in a smaller hospital like mine that doesn't staff completely at night, we do a lot. And make shit up when we don't know how to fix the heating.
• You miss prime-time tv. :(
• You get woken up by mailmen and maintenance workers (i live in an apartment) in the middle of the day and other random people.
• when a doctor orders some random test STAT in the middle of the night, guess who gets to wake your patient up, get them in a wheelchair, bring them down to the test, stay with them, and bring them back up. Thats right, you.
• You have no idea who the big-time doctors are because you only talk to residents, PAs and interns (most of the time).  (This is also an advantage though...)
• You actually get tired of writing narratives that say, "pt is sleeping. No signs of distress noted at this time. Pt appears comfortable. Respirations regular." and you actually kind of want something interesting to happen so you can write a narrative about it. I've actually written a narrative that my patient went to the bathroom. No joke. That was the highlight of my night.
• You have to wake your patients up for the randomest stuff and get punched, kicked, yelled at, etc. Its awesome.

ADVANTAGES:

• You get to drink wine for breakfast and its kind-of OK! Yay!
• You lose weight (sometimes. If you do it right.)
• You get out of doing random stuff because you have a good excuse: Sleep.
• You get to really know the nurses you work with at night. Because at 2 am when all else is quiet, what else to do but have serious conversations about the most random things?
• you get to be a LOT more autonomous and independent as a nurse. Some room to breathe, but yet resources are still there if you need them.
• You actually have *time* to research your patients history, their unique diagnosis, print out education packets for them and go over them, (learn about their condition more yourself), and overall, just spend more time with your patients.  Normally on day shift my morning assessment could only take 10 minutes because I was under serious time constraints. But now I let my initial assessments take up to 30 minutes sometimes because when I go in the room, I literally pull a chair up to their bed and sit and talk with them for a bit before I just jump in and listen to them with a stethoscope. The other day I sat with someone for an hour talking in the middle of the night because I could. It was awesome.
• It is so much less crowded and a lot more quiet. There is not a million doctors stealing all your computer space. There is no physical therapy, no food services, no transport whizzing by asking for charts, no residents, no case managers....its just....quiet. So quiet that I know if my patients up to something mischievous just by listening carefully from down the hall.
• I can literally take over an entire computer workspace (up front! at the nurses station). Normally I had to go find one in some dark dusty corner on day shift because everyone else and their mother had the nurses station computers. Now, I literally set up my binder, and steal the entire area and no one even cares because there is actually room to spare! Its awesoommeee.
• You can actually have legit- intelligent conversations with the residents about what is going on with your patients. Because what else do they have to do at 230 am? Besides sleep? :)
• Your shift FLIES BY. Day shift used to take FOREVER. Once you get the busy part of your shift over, (up until midnight), you do paperwork til 2,3ish, then break for your meal, then its 330 and you just chill til 5 and then from 5-7 it gets really busy again. Flies-by. Awesome.
• When your patients are all tucked in and happy and no one needs anything and you finished all your meds and paper work, researching, computer work, your fellow nurses don't need anything, (usually 2-4 am), the time is yours. To prevent yourself from falling asleep, its okay to keep yourself occupied in my opinion, providing that you listen very carefully for anything your patients are up to. So this is my newfound time to WRITE!!!!

WOOOOO! After all, thats half of what this is blog is about! Writing!!
I have been writing down little ideas for this novel for 4 years now. I planned a lot of it in high school but haven't really touched it since, besides the occasional idea. I have constantly had it on my mind and always think, "I really just have to get started, sit down and write it." But never could seem to. But now, that I (usually) have that 1-2 hour time window in the middle of the night now, I can writeeeeeeeeeeeeee. 

sooooooooooooooooooo happy to finally have an outline in. I'm about 1/4 of the book through. Yes!


Anyway, thats it. If you are blessed enough (lol) to work night shift as well, feel free to comment with some additional benefits/disadvantages of your own!



~WNB 

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Never Forget, Forever Grateful

Today is a special day. It will always be a special day. A day of remembrance. Remembering our countries heroes that didn't even know they were going to be heroes when they woke up that morning. Things were normal, it was a nice day. Typical day at work, typical flights, typical day at the firestations....until everything changed. The whole world changed.


Today marks ten years. I was in eighth grade then and still remember vividly every minute. I remember being angry, confused, scared....I am blessed and fortunate to not have lost anyone that I know that day but I know people that did and I don't wish that on anyone.

9/11 is its own day now....It's obviously not a holiday but its a day en grained into our brains, into our calendars still. The eleventh approaches every year and we go through the same feelings every year. Every year, the country becomes a little more quiet on this day. We all become a little more patriotic. A little less violent. A little more tolerant of each other. A little more appreciative. A little more grateful.

Two years after, on 9/11/03, I was a sophomore in high school. In English class we were instructed to have a freewrite session documenting how we felt about 9/11 or our memories from that day. So today I dug it out of one of my binders at the bottom of my closet to share it. Because what better time to share than the decade anniversary?


Please note, at 15 years old, I certainly wasn't a fabulous writer. I chose to write about my memory of that day.


Hearing those horrific words actually being said made me stop in my tracks in the middle of the scrambling mess of students rushing down the hall. People were anxious to get home and find out what the heck was going on, find out the truth. Teachers were instructed to be quiet about it, but there was most certainly something huge going on. And what I had heard from a couple friends....it couldn't be true. It just couldn't.

Immediately I ran onto the bus and picked a random seat, in a daze. Pizza, I thought. I was just at the World Trade Center only two weeks ago, eating Pizza on the "top of the world". Now its gone. Gone? All of it? How is that possible? My aunt Linda and I laughed happily as we strolled across that crowded cafeteria trying to balance our pizzas on our plate. We leaned against the glass looking down at the little ants thousands of feet below. Incredible. Its gone now, I cried.

As I got off the bus, I noticed a biker. I began to walk down what now seemed to be a never ending street. How could someone be riding their bike when I could barely move my own two feet?

It was hours before my mom got home from teaching that day. I hid up in room in the niche of the wall, hiding from the happy sunlight pouring through the window. How could we have such sunlight here and have New York City in the dust? Shouldn't we all be in the dust now? As one nation together that collapse? No. We didn't collapse, I thought. We were still American even if we have been pushed down. But we'll get up again, right? I could just imagine the thousands of hurt families grieving over what had happened, imagining the survivors breathing through dust masks, praying to get out, just to breathe. To be Alive.

Mom came in. No words said. We hugged the hug that wouldn't end. It won't end because to this day I can still remember exactly what she smelt like, and the formation of her tears falling upon my head.

The phone rang. I couldn't answer it. It was Dad leaving a message from California. He is all right.

Mom turned on the news. I stood in a trance watching the screen. You'd think it was snow if you didn't know better. So much debris was falling, falling softly.

I couldn't watch the tv anymore, so I went to sleep, expected to blink and wake up for a new day and this was all a nightmare. I wish.

I really liked the soap in the World Trade Center bathroom. It was noticeably nice soap. Now I'm forever haunted to ever admit ever again that I like soap in a public place.



The day will stay with us forever. But thats a good thing.  It teaches us new lessons. Never lets us forget, but keeps us looking forward. Its a day to thank our firefighters, EMS workers, policeman who did such a fine job. Who ARE doing such a fine job. They are our heroes, in my book.

This is my FAVORITE tribute ever made, as it really showcases how tremendous our firefighters/EMS/Police are. Gives me goosebumps!!


As nicely said by State Farm,

Never Forget. Forever Grateful.



~WNB

Reaching Out

Hey!

So my mind has been out of blogland lately....I've been trying, oh yes- But nothing in my mind has been posing itself as extremely blog worthy. However, if you miss WNB greatly, check out some of my pages above, I've been updating those here and there :)

It's been an....interesting...couple of days. I guess I can't blog much because all the topics right now I really just need to talk about, like just write and write and write my thoughts with no fear of anything....I can't talk about on here. Friends have suggested journals, but, I'm seeking a stranger to just vent to, I think. Like someone that is completely unbiased, someone that knows nothing already. Someone I don't know and never will know and therefore can't judge I guess...sort of? And if they do judge you, then you move on to another stranger. I guess thats the lure some people find in internet relationships? I've never done that but I can see why people do it.


But anyway, I feel like I'm trying to literally just do so many things at once right now, now that I'm not bogged down with overwhelming amounts of homework and I am "free" (kind of), I have so many projects I am trying to tackle. So for my own sanity and your entertainment, I'll try and list everything:

•  re-organize my room and get it ready for moving out this fall (YAY!!!) But this is seriously a huge project
• get all my writing in ONE PLACE. I'm really trying to get a major start again on my strongest novel, and I'm getting so excited about it because I'm getting so many thoughts for its planning and I just want to WRITE IT!! So, yeah. Thats another big project.
• Art, Art, Art. Not only just the drawing- that comes next. But painting too! I want to finish a painting I already started....and I want to try a new abstract style of painting that I can sort of visualize how its going to work in my head....I also want to start working with a new watercolor kit I bought to try and help teach me Watercolours. Yay!
• Drawing! Not only do I have like 2 huge architecture type drawings I want to get started on, but I have a lot of other random collections I want to do and finish. Amazing! Ahhh. Also, I want to start a real "exclusively Pixar-disney" portfolio, by taking screenshots from favorite movies and practicing drawing disney scenes.
• I want to try to put together, somehow, a LARGE portfolio, of ALLLL of my best photographs. So that they are all in ONE place. I'm sick of digging through computer files to try and find the one I'm looking for. So how am I going to do this? I don't know. There has GOT to be over 5,000 of these "best photos" between my high school shots, college shots, disney shots, Europe shots, random shots, etc.....So....yeah. Have to put some thought yet into this.
• I am swamped lately with photography work, mostly photoshoots for actors/actresses and some other random photoshoots. So lately I have been trying to do some work on renovating how I do photoshoots completely, but thats going to take a lot of work. I also want to renovate how my website is formed, as well as my photography facebook page. Whew!
• I am also trying to be a better nurse. Granted, I am a brand new nurse, but all the more reason to be the best one I can be. I am desperately still trying to read up on nursing literature in my spare time because I find it interesting (I really do!) and I truly do want to be a super-nurse.
• I really, really want to learn Latin. Seriously, though. I do.
• I need to friggen learn how to *actually* be a photographer.  

So basically, I will never be bored within the next...5 years?

I feel like so many things are within reach...but I am trying to be so many different people and by doing this, I can only do a so-so job in all. I am noticing myself slacking lately in photography, so I am only a so-so photographer. Only a so-so writer. So-so blogger. So-so artist. So-so nurse. But if i just had the time...if I could just pick one of these personas and stick with it, I could master it, but then I wouldn't be me anymore. I like that I do them all.....i just need about 16 hours more per day to do it all.  I want to be the super nurse, but does the super nurse have time for everything else I'm trying to do? I want to be an actual writer. I want to have this book written by 2 years from now. I want to be a professional photographer. I want to be an artist. And I don't even have KIDS yet! What's going to happen then???? I'll be a nurse and a mom? Or, stay at home mom and artist maybe? But I don't think I could let go of the medical side of me. I love it. I am beginning to really love medicine and I wouldn't ever want to let all that knowledge just dissipate. I want to make a difference in the nursing community. I have a feeling that I can do huge things and go really far.....I just have to reach. I feel like I can reach, but I'm not reaching. Because I'm afraid of failure? Afraid of success? Afraid of the unknown?


So...thats life right now. Wish I could just talk about the other 5,000 things on my mind right now. Yes, there is even more on my mind than everything i just gobbled out..


I really miss Thanksgiving. I am so, so, so so drastically ready for the winter. I miss cold. I miss snow, so much. I miss so much.........



Needless to say, this year is going to be very, very Interesting......In so many ways.



~WNB




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A Step into my Life

Hello all!

I actually have about 4 blogs floating around in my head, but I will surely space them out. This blog was not on the waiting list, but just popped into my head...

As I grow up a little, my room changes slowly. During high school and just a bit after, about 5 years ago, my room was full of imagination, creativity....at my community college writing course, I was in full fledge writing mode. I was unstoppable. Writing thoughts raced through my head constantly. I HAD to carry a notepad in a car with me because in the matter of a fifteen minute drive, a million thoughts would race through my head, plots, characters, key pieces of information that I needed for my novels.....so I wrote them all down, and then typed them up and made about 5 sheets of just thoughts that came into my head, and when I typed them I also added a few quotes that I came across that I loved. So, I hung all these papers up by my bed (at the time) so I could re-read them as time went by. As time did go by, that space became further occupied with my photography, my artwork, my actual writing (poems, short stories, etc), things I cut out of newspapers, pictures from other people....quotes....and it was all placed on my wall in this giant collage.

Well, throughout the past five years I have added things, here and there. But nothing significant to the wall. Most of it was done in the span of about two years. Well now I have so many big things to hang (paintings, frames of photography, etc.) and need WALL SPACE. Also, when I move out soon, this room is no longer mine and the wall has to go. So, I think its time for the wall to slowly come down, little by little. So I took a little bit of it down today, and will share it with you. I want to share it with you because if I tuck the pieces away in a drawer, they die. If they can be read by all of you, then they aren't dead, they're in your minds....now, tomorrow, next year, in ten years....gotta love the internet.


So from here on is all artifacts from the wall, I'll mix it up with the "Sheet work" to the pictures....If I don't say who its by, then its written by me.


"She said goodbye to him, they both knew for the last time. She was heartbroken. It was a long hallway, she thought, as she turned away from him and began her journey down it, refusing to look back at him. By the time she had gotten to the end, she was fully transformed, someone who had completely molded herself so she didnt have to be that person anymore. She had the ability to fully walk into someone else's life and pretend for awhile, mold herself enough so that she could escape, even if just for a little while."
-I'm pretty sure this was from one of Jodi Piccoult's books, but I typed it into google and can't find it coming up anywhere, so many not. I remember reading this and thinking, wow, thats me. I've been there. I've been on that same hallway.....So maybe i did write it. It sounds like my writing style. So, can't say if I wrote this or not. It might be Jodi..

 These are all artifacts from the wall.... Top left is from the newspaper, after 9/11. Next to it is a saved piece of card from my grandma at christmas. Next to that is a favorite still image from the movie, "Sex and the City". I have always been obsessed with Carrie and Big's relationship, because I had it. And I was always so happy when Carrie & Big ended up happy together...Bottom left is a quote from the newspaper article, "IF you have a good relationship with yourself and with God, you won't be lonely."  On the bottom of that is one of my photographs I have taken and fell in love with. It was taken in a park on Long island, on a Cold Easter Sunday. Next to that is a poem I wrote for my sister, back in my writng course. At the bottom is a quote line from one of my favorite songs, from Savage Garden.

          "Nice new piece of artwork....really? Did you have to?" said the man, sitting on the bottom edge of her bed, turned away from his girlfriend as he took off his work boots.
         She Shrugged, "I don't know. I was really inspired by what we discussed in class today. Our professor made a really interesting point."
         "Yeah, his point was that its not healthy to see yourself as part of a whole, that you can't stand alone without your lover by yourside, in your life.....but, "He paused, "...did you have to make it so obvious? So....blatant? Did you have to rush home and make a piece of artwork out of it?"
          "Why are you bothered by it? It's a symbol of strength. We can both stand alone, if we had to."
          "But do we have to? Why do we even have to think about it?" He said, as he laid back on the bed next to her. "Yes, I agree, " he continued, "I agreed with him today. We are not two parts of a whole. We are both 1 whole and together we make two. But does that mean I love you any less?"
           "Nope...And I don't love you any less, thats my point. You don't complete me, but I still love you."
           "Well maybe one day I want to be the person that completes someone. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong if I wanted it to be you?"
^ I just wrote this to accompany the memory that went along with this piece of artwork I made.

"In the blink of an eye you might reinvent yourself. The person you were yesterday might not be the person you are tomorrow."-  Definitely Jodi Piccoult.

Just because a teacher says it, doesn't mean its true.
 ( I was peeved at a professor that day).

A gathering of writers...what happens then? The world may change if they're not careful. If they're not careful with how much power they have.
- ..don't you agree, though?

The woman dressed in a high class business suit, the standard black skirt and classy black top, sat in the hallway frantically looking through her purse, almost in tears. Business women weren't supposed to lose it, were they?
-writing down a character

Damn, she thought. Why the hell did she put the splenda's at the BOTTOM of her purse? And why did she think it wise to put the used ones back in her purse? This was useless, she thought, as she flung old splenda packets over her shoulder, sitting in the middle of her kitchen floor.
- writing another similar (or the same) character

The young woman rocked back and forth in her chair, not even noticing it, as she sat, waiting nervously.

The funny way I eat musketeers....use that one day for a character.

"He was already there. She knew by the way the air had taken a charge around her body, an electric field."
-Jodi Piccoult. I know that feeling....

freshman year, homeroom....every day, him coming to see me even when he wasn't supposed to. Mrs. DeSmith laughing, marveling at how great he was. The two of us, holding hands, whispering secrets that we were too young to even know to each other.
-a memory.

"Dreams- The kind where you wake up and your heart is as flat as a dime." - Jodi Piccoult.... I've had those. What hurts the most, was being so close, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away.....-Rascal Flatts.

Don't ever, ever, ever let yourself watch a girl prep herself for the day. If you do, you'll find that we are not all that we let show. A lot of us are fake,when we are  behind our colorful shadows. If you see a girl put on her make up, the secret is lost. You will be disappointed.

This is cut out from the Sunday Express TImes, opinion section. I thought it was funny. :-)

Another Sunday Express TImes comic, this was when gas prices were so high a couple years ago....

Have a car crash scene in a novel with a character because she can't see. Its such a nice day, and the sun is blinding, the music is blasting...what a good song.

A Writer's car crash-- make it an epic short story about a man so desperate to capture his thoughts that he crashes while writing and driving.........but it was worth it.

Its like losing a friend, or a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, or a grandmother, or anyone remotely close to you. Whether or not its due to death, truth, or uncertainty, it hurts. Its learning how to make a protective bubble around you so it doesn't happen again. Its learning how to completely shut yourself our from everyone, building an invisible wall around your fears, thoughts, tears and happiness.

Cars merge, in a team. Cooperation, reading minds, communicating without words. Until a small glitch in the system and it all goes wrong.

Me, As a character? what would be my traits? Hiding....but in a way completely out in the open. Lost in music, lost in translation, lost in herself. Lost with words when I finally get the chance.



Thank you everyone, for taking a small step into my life...behind the scenes. :-) Now its completely open and known to the public that I am out of my mind! Alright, well, you already knew that, but still.




~ WNB

What the wall looks like right now, I just took this picture.....still pretty hoppin!

Discovery

Right now I am sitting on a windowsill listening and watching to the most magnificent and stunning and perfect and powerful thunderstorm ever to kick off the summer. And in more than ways than one, it is very much what I needed. This whole night has been perfect to sort of guide my heart in the right direction of healing, once and for all.

Some of my most fondest memories are of my father And I sitting out on our front porch watching the lightning with such enthusiasm and wonder. To this day we both get over-the-top excited when a fantastic lightning bolt comes through, a tornado warning graces our town or when it just pours or hails.

Anyway, this whole night has been perfect and a night of discovery and healing. I discovered this main site, www.stumbleupon.com , which leads you to all these magnificent other sites based on what you are interested in. Well "writing" is one of my selected categories and it brought me to this one site, www.oneword.com. Which is a sort of "writing exercise site meets human connection meets postsecret". The site gives you a word and all you have to do is write whatever comes to mind when you hear that word and you have sixty seconds. Then it gets submitted and others can read it and you can read entries on that word from people around the world, at that very moment. How fascinating?!

Tonights word was "forgotten". I wrote my first post to the site and I liked it. But some of the other entries were so meaningful and I could relate 100%. some were about wanting to forget things/people in their life, others were about being forgotten by a person they loved/love. I can relate to both. So go check out the site and write your own fantastic little blurbs to the word-of-the-day. :-)

Thank you to my lovely friend tonight that helped mr discover another beautiful thing- Ingrid michaelson. This girl is a friggen musical genius. Basically, she sounds like greys anatomy but her lyrics are just so captivating and her tunes draw you in and keep you listening. LOVE.

It's a good night. May it thunder and rain all night...what a perfect sound track to life...

Meeting A Celebrity

So in America, not many people get to meet celebrities if we don't have a special talent or aren't famous or don't get noticed by extreme publicity, or don't date a celebrity, or don't make movies or do something crazy like that. If you are really lucky, just maybe you'll see one in NYC strolling around or anywhere, really...airports, grocery stores, big events, political stuff, fundraisers, etc...but that never happens to me. I have only seen celebrities from a distance, and it has been musicians, and it has been because it was a scheduled event (i.e. concert). So I didn't really "meet" them, i just "saw" them. But even so, its pretty cool saying you are at least in the same breathing space as them.

I have "seen" Muse, Matchbox Twenty, Train, Rob Thomas (w/o MB20), Jewel, Alanis Morrissette...

But today I "met" famous bestselling author Jodi Picoult! I have "seen" her before at a bookfair in Washington D.C. by complete surprise, and also saw John Irving and Nicholas Sparks (dreamy!). But met none of them.

Before meeting a celebrity, or even going to a concert of theirs, if you're anything like me, you hype yourself up. "Oh my god, I'm going to meet them. I'm going to be in the same room. I'm going to actually SEE them. They are going to be right there! Ah!" In writing, it sounds a lot more creepy than it actually is, but you know what I mean. Then, when you finally do see them, (depending on the celebrity) at first its like OHMYGOD ITS REALLY THEM but then you calm down and actually listen to what they are singing/talking about. And then after an hour or so of being in the same breathing room as them (such as today), you realize they are actually just another real human being after all. Just like you and me except a lot of people know that same person. Like, 35 other countries know Jodi's name and books.

I don't know if this happens to you, but it happens to me. When I'm talking to a celebrity or standing close to them, or really close to them at a concert, I keep my cool. In my head, i'm like, I can't seem to grasp the fact that I am actually standing right next to a celebrity. But they are so normal, so its not that astounding. But it is a celebrity. This is huge. Why aren't I freaking out?  And then an hour after we leave, I'm all like Oh my god I met Jodi Picoult. Why didn't I take more pictures?????

We also had a chance to ask her questions, and for the life of me I could not think of a single good question. I am a writer. I have been since I was 5. I have novels half written, I have short stories everywhere....I am a writer for petes sake and I couldn't think of any good questions. And then at home I thought of at least five really good one's. Oh well. But anyway, She is a really good speaker and I really enjoyed meeting her! And I even got a picture and an autographed book, of her new book "Sing You Home" which I have started reading and it is excellent so far!

Pictures:

Jodi reading passage from new book "Sing You Home"

Signed my book! Personalized, too.

Getting ready to sign.

I brought House Rules with me to get signed, because thats my best book I have from her that survived me reading it. :)

One thing I thought was really astonishing....she mentioned at the end that she couldn't believe that every single day, there were people out there that actually wanted to read what she had to write. You could hear in the audience a plethora of small chuckles and astonishment because everyone was thinking the same thing in their head, "OF COURSE WE DO!!!! YOU ARE AMAZING!" I wonder if all writers feel like that....I know if I ever get published big time, I will be astonished that people actually want to read my books....I wonder if Meyer and Rowling feel like that too? Hmm..funny.


I have about six or seven blogs on my "to-write" list, so you can probably expect a blog every day this week....I hope this excites you, rather than makes you groan. Thanks for reading!!

~WNB

They Deserve Much More than a Blog

Read about my Amazing Professor

When I was a junior in high school, my boyfriend made the decision to enter in our State's NJ STARS program and do two years at our local community college before going on to a college or university. Dimwitted and naive as I was, I looked down on this choice of his, for not wanting to aim higher and reach his potential I knew he could. I thought to myself, that when that next year came for me, I would definitely be going to a college or university.

Well, that time came. I no longer had a boyfriend (I wonder why) and it was time for me to decide what to do after high school. I had gotten into a couple universities in addition to also qualifying for the same NJ STARS program. Being a little less dimwitted and naive , and a little bit smarter, I chose to do the program and stay behind at home instead of travelling to a college. To be perfectly honest, I was scared and not ready to go away to a college just yet...

To say the least, I was still naive and dimwitted. I thought community college was going to be easy. Granted, it was my first "collegiate" classes, but man, I thought, how hard could it be?

I first met professor Brian Bradford during my first semester at this college, and he taught me not only English but what teaching had the power to be. He got through to us. As if I didn't already love to write and read enough already, he made it 10 times more enjoyable. He made it so enjoyable, that he made me feel like it was actually possible for me to pursue creative writing as a career. Prior, I thought it was just something in my past that I did in the fifth grade but I could never actually pursue. So, the next semester I took his creative writing workshop. My writing needed a lot of work, but had a lot of potential. My grammar was and still is, a major weakness of mine. My strength was writing dialogue. In this class I got to  learn about famous writers and their unique styles, how to better my writing and also performed the art of critiquing other's writing as well.

 I then was offered the chance to be  a part of a brand new and very advanced creative writing class, with what I thought were the "big-time" writers of the school that I had heard of. There was only about eight of us. Also, the class was also going to be "Advanced Poetry" in addition to creative writing. Normally, in order to get into this class you would have needed to complete the prerequisite of the Beginners Poetry workshop. Not only had I not completed that, but I had never met the famous teacher, and I knew that my poetry was definitely something that needed a lot of help. But Professor Bradford had faith in me that I would still do very well in the advanced course regardless. To say the least, I was extremely nervous.

It was a lot of hard, but rewarding work. The workshop was taught by both Professor Bradford and BJ Ward, the man featured in the article above. Upon entering the course, Professor Ward took me under his wing and gave me one-on-one lessons on bringing my poetry up to an acceptable standard. To say he helped me with grammar would be an extreme understatement. With his help, I was suddenly popping out poetry left and right that was significantly better than I ever thought I could do. During that same time, I was writing many short stories with Bradford's portion of the class. I was also inspired by all of this to work on my novel's at home, as well.

I was so happy. I was surrounded not only by my writing every where, and my characters and plot lines, but every week I got the utmost privilege of going to this class with these amazing writers and professors. We got to know each other, we got to know and effectively critique each other's work, we all became friends. It was magical.

I can honestly say that because of Brian Bradford and BJ Ward, going to my community college changed my life forever. I was happier there as opposed to my current college, I was happier with what I was doing. I can not imagine having not attended this college. Although the article is not written about Bradford, (he is mentioned), Bradford has many other achievements and accomplishments, but totally deserves an article as well. A blog will have to do, for now.

Community college was not easy. These professors were not easy.

They were amazing.

If either of you ever stumble upon this, Thank you, for an amazing education that I will never forget.

- A (Creative) Writer in a Nurse's Body  (or as they know me, "Jules")

BJ Ward was recognized as a poet on the rise by The New York Times. (Photo by Nancy Wegard)

It's A Strange Thing to get Used to

Death, that is.

Today  I attended a funeral (long story, no questions), which had an open casket viewing. To pay your respects to the deceased, it is common to go up to the casket and view the deceased and say a prayer or well wishes or whatever you want to call it.

Well, looking at a human body, that has passed away is something most people will never be comfortable with or get used to. Not that anyone should. Except funeral directors. Or autopsists. Because its kind of their job. But for everyone else, its normal to feel uncomfortable. I don't feel uncomfortable, but it does create a strange feeling working with the dead or viewing the dead.

In a casket, for example, the body is dressed up, groomed...it just looks as if they are sleeping. They are even in a sleeping position. They look peaceful.

Then, your eyes begin to play tricks on you. Even on me, who has been around this topic for 5 years now. Here is my theory: Our brains are so wired to see people breathing when people are sleeping, that our brains actually trick us into thinking that we see the chest still rising, even as they lie peacefully in their casket. Our brains are so wired into thinking we see the normal "twitches" a person has when sleeping, that we think we saw them too. Its almost alarming, so much so that for a second we think- Did that person just breathe? And then you remember.

Our brains don't often get the chance to learn the sight of seeing a human body that isn't breathing. So this is a strange sight for our brain and it does not like it.

Death is a strange thing in the hospital, too. It is one thing to view the deceased in a casket. They are nicely dressed, peaceful. Well, I cannot put in words what it is like working with the deceased in the hospital. Some of the time they are a complete mess because they just suffered through a code, and most likely CPR. They have tubes in them, IVs, foleys (sometimes), sometimes they are bleeding somewhere or everywhere...there is a lot of things that could happen. And, sometimes, they didn't suffer through a code but died peacefully in their bed. Well, the hospital bed. But even so, they are in a hospital gown..their hair is messy, they are "hospital-y".

There is something fascinating in the emotions department that comes out of you when you have a deceased patient in front of you that you just had a conversation with an hour ago, or 5 minutes ago, or that morning, or your last shift....Its very strange. One minute they were telling about their grandchildren, and the next...

I had a patient that I had worked with my entire winter break, and she was one out of 3 that was still on the floor 2 weeks later when I came back to help on a weekend. She was in the hospital for about a month and a half total (she left to go home for a day or two). So that really gives the staff a chance to get to know a person. It is even more tragic witnessing death in the hospital when the patient was walking and talking and "independent" when you remember them being admitted, to them being completely bedridden, unresponsive and hallucinogenic and barely breathing in their last minutes of life...(which has nothing to do with the hospital stay, simply just the course of the disease).

It's another story completely when you, as an aide or nurse, are selected to do the post-mortem care. I won't go into details to bore or gross anyone out, but it is strange, I can tell you that. You are with someones beloved grandpa, or grandma, or parent, or child...just after their death. It is very important to treat all patients with extreme and utmost respect at this moment (in case you already didn't all the time anyway).

I think a lot of people get scared when going up to a dead person...whether it be at a wake or if they are a new aide or new nurse that hasn't had experience in this department yet. Why are they scared? Different reasons, sometimes. I think people feel scared of the unknown, scared perhaps because they have never been around a dead person before, or scared that the person will come back to life, or maybe scared that the person's ghost is watching you watch the body. (Call me strange, but I always think about that). I am one of those people that believes in spirits, ghosts, souls, etc., and I wouldn't doubt for a second that the spirit sticks around most of the time when they first leave their body. But who knows.

So that is my depressing blog, on death. And, as if this blog weren't long enough already, I wanted to include at the end here my first "real" (aka not written before college) short story. It was not assigned to be about death, the assignment was just to write about a moment that you learned an epiphany, or a moment when you learned something that changed you forever. And I chose to write about the first patient that touched my life- and how I took care of her after she passed. I used pseudo-names in the story, names are not real.  I was 18 or 19 when I wrote the story. I'm going to include it at the end of this, so it is purely optional to read. But, this blog is also about writing, and this is a story about nursing, too. So its a double whammy that fits not only into this post, but perfectly into this blog. So feel free to read it, and to those of you that do, thank you! And feel free to comment if you like it, as always.

With Love,

~A Writer in a Nurse's Body


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"Walls Made of Curtains"

The white latex gloves snapped as they wrapped around Lyn’s small sized hands. She threw her long brunette hair that laid upon the front of her scrubs into a messy bun and then took a deep breath as she stood before the curtain. She inhaled one last time, preparing herself to see her second dead body. Only this one had just died.

“Okay, I’m ready Melissa.” Lyn lightly touched the curtain in front of her as the two curtains that came together separated for her to enter the small make-shift room, walls made of curtain.

Melissa was leaning on the window-sill as she wrote Edith’s information on the body tag. She placed the body tag on Edith’s right big toe, and tied it really tight. At first, Lyn was worried that it would hurt Edith if it was too tight, cutting off the circulation to the foot.

Then she remembered, again.

Lyn took two steps over and touched Edith’s right pinkie, as she slowly let herself grab the whole hand. The top was cold to the touch, but the bottom still warm. She glanced at Edith’s watch that she was still wearing. It had only been an hour since she had passed. Lyn lifted the limp arm and unlatched the watch. It wasn’t right for a dead person to be wearing a working watch. It just reminded her that time went on without us. Time will always go on.

“Can I have that? I didn’t even see that. That goes in her valuables bag.” Said Melissa as she took the silver chain watch from Lyn’s open hand. Melissa then threw it in the plastic hospital bag and tied the top to enclose the belongings inside.

“What about everything else?” Lyn asked as she scanned the rest of the room. The faded red closet was open, there was Edith’s petite nightgown that she had specially ordered still hanging, and her small size 5 flat shoes beneath the gown.

“Only the valuables go with the body, you know that. Everything else is the family’s responsibility.”
But Edith doesn’t have any family, she thought to herself. Edith had told her that.

Lyn looked back at Edith and her small bag of valuables, “Well what the heck good does that do? Is Edith supposed to be guarding those items? Is that why they have to stay with her?”

Melissa finished zipping the bag, which was now just a giant-oversized plastic bag sitting on the still white linen on the wooden bed. It didn’t even resemble a body anymore, let alone Edith.

“Seriously Lyn. This is just the way it is.”

“Doesn’t she get to wear any clothes?”

Melissa shook her head, “They take care of that at the funeral home. The family arranges what she wears.”

Great, Lyn thought. Edith was going to be naked at her funeral.

“I guess so.” Lyn murmured.

There was a knock on the wooden door behind the curtain as the security guard entered the room, “Is she ready?”

“Depends on who you’re asking.” Lyn murmured.

“Yes Sir, Edith is ready.” Replied Melissa.

I Wish Other People Saw it This Way

A thousand times over
I'd rather deal with the honesty
Of heartbreak,
Than watch you figure out
How to string me along
And politely reject me.

Major Writing Mishap...

I have been a writer since I can remember starting grade school. Unfortunately, I didn't think to date things back then and I don't know how old I was when I wrote some things. I wish I had just dated them! But I can usually tell by my handwriting...Anyway, I have piles and piles of story after story that I wrote during grade school. I had such big ambitions, and yet I was showing signs of the ADHD I am pretty sure I still have to this day. I could never stick with one story. Hence, this results:

Now that I am home for break, I am organizing all these stories. Each different "pile" that you see is a different novel/story line. My longest one, the pink one in bottom right, made it to about 50 pages. My shortest one is 5 pages. The funny thing is, this only represents grade school (about 5th grade to freshman year in HS). I keep the more "modern" novel lines (which exhibit better writing skills, better planning, more realistic plot lines...longer pages..) in another spot and have to tackle them (4) another time. So, in total, I have approximately 15 major novels that at one time, I had plans to finish. When I was in grade school I was so positive I would be a writer. I couldn't imagine anything different. I put so much passion into writing these stories, I had so many ideas...Although my grammar really, really, really, really sucked, I had great talent in dialogue and capturing emotion and setting, which are still my main weaknesses and strengths. Anyone that reads this blog knows I still suck with grammar! (Sorry Jess! ) I've been through three major writing workshops and it has been said many times that I excel in dialogue and setting, which I love to do. Who knows why I am so bad with grammar...you'd think for wanting to be a writer since age 10, I would pay better attention to these lessons....

Anyway, I am organizing these stories by typing them into the computer. This way I have them all together, and they are easier to read, and maybe one day I can still "save" the original novel idea I had when I was younger and make it into a bigger, better novel that is a lot more realistic.

For example, I cracked up laughing when I saw the following, what I wrote. I don't know how old I was when I wrote this but it is a pure example of me not thinking things through.

I begin this novel with a "Preclude" and it is supposed to take place in 1447. Okay, fine. The story begins with a war scene, with two soldiers talking about needing more manpower, etc. Okay, that's fine..Then It switches to a distant village that has yet to be attacked, and it focuses on two girls that are shopping for dresses for their "Turning 15" celebration, where they become "women" and are married off, etc. Okay...still ok, but pushing it. But then, but then....IT GETS BETTER. I end the excerpt I had wrote at the time with the following:

"Your friend Nelly has decided to continue on in the shoppe, and told us to head on home, if that is alright with you." Said Mary, as she pulled out her keys. Nelly would be able to drive soon. She was so excited.

Unless cars were invented in the 1400's and I didn't know about then this is considered SEVERELY out of context!!! I read this, and I couldn't even put in to the computer I was so ashamed/laughing so hard. I was on such a good track...war, villages, shopping, etc., and then driving.

I had to share. It made me giggle. I can't believe myself sometimes. Expect me to share a little more funny things I come across, in later blogs. :)

~A (silly) Writer in a Nurse's Body