Thankity Thanks Thanksgivingsly Thankful

Hey everyone! So although I don't get to post much, it wouldn't be thanksgiving without my annual thanksgiving post. It has after all been....four years?

So my personal tradition annually is to list things I am thankful for each year. Just like my traditional new years resolutions, I don't really do it for others to see, more so for myself to see each year and watch myself grow.

What am I thankful this year? Where do I start?

I am so thankful to have had a very successful first year in my first house! No disasters, no fires, nothing bad so far. Just a couple ghost sightings (friendly!) and lots and lots of house improvements!

 I am thankful for having a big-girl job that pays me well enough to be able to afford all of these amazing improvements to my little humble house. Every day I thank my lucky stars that I am decently comfortable.

On that note I am also extremely thankful for a job that although comes with some drawbacks, I am so blessed to be able to have the schedule I do and go into work every weekend and see what I can truly call some pretty awesome friends. My weekend co-workers and I are a true team, we help each other out and don't let anyone drown and that truly makes the difference in hospital nursing, when someone has your back.

I am thankful for my family, all healthy, all loving! My father is absolutely the most helpful father I could ever ask for when it comes to starting up a first year house with lots of necessary home improvements! And my mom is certainly helpful when it comes to critiquing home improvements and help decide on future renovations!

I'm thankful for my healthy grandma that finally got to see my house just a week ago! Although facing severe macular degeneration and hip pains, she strives every day to enjoy life and enjoy time with family.

I am thankful for what is now my year and 3 month boyfriend, Brian.  He teaches me and motivates me every day on how to be a better person. He also keeps my house looking amazing and helps with a lot of improvements as well! What more could I ask for?

I'm thankful for my sister, we've been getting to know each other on a more adult-personal level and turns out she's a pretty cool cat, a lot cooler than when we were 5 ;) I think I'll keep her around.

Speaking of cats, I am thankful for my two most adorable kittens in the world, Ms. Lilly and Belle. Although they at times torment my house and my sleep schedule, they make me laugh every single day and are always there to greet me when I come in the door and always know when I need a hug and some love. And they are cuddly :-)

I am thankful for my own kind heart. I've been facing a lot of adversity lately. I've been feeling slightly jaded as a nurse and I hate that, and I've been going through a lot of self reflection lately. And although many in the world believe the only way to survive is to only think and fight for yourself only, I strive to believe that is not the only way. Through all this self reflection and taking a step back to look at myself, I've noticed the things I do that I consider to be very kind, and I do it out of pure reflex, or instinct. I don't do them for any monetary or personal enrichment. I just help people because that's what needs to be done. I'm trying to spread this attitude and I want others to see that if we just sprout more and more kind hearts, that maybe we can overcome the evil in the world. SO many kind hearted people out there are masked with evil actions because they feel that the only way to beat evil is to be evil themselves. I'm thankful for my acceptance that for at least the time being, I refuse to screw someone else over in any way just for my own benefit.

I'm thankful for my new side job, with Premier Designs Jewelry! Although I never would have guessed I'd be an independent business owner for jewelry (I used to hate jewelry), it has truly been a wonderful and interesting experience, and certainly worth my time!

I'm thankful for my vision, as I've seen what my grandma is going through and it makes me so, so thankful for my own. I do wear glasses and my vision is awful without them, but at least I have no tunnel vision or black spots, I have full range of vision and for that I am thankful. Without my vision I couldn't do three of the things I am most thankful for, art, writing, and reading.

I am thankful for my hearing, for without it I would not have music. Music is my therapy, the only way I know how to calm down and focus. Music Is there for me when I've had a nursing shift from hell, music is there for me when I want to just be calm, be by myself and create art. Music is always there for me and it is my love. Music can do so much more for me than any person.

I am thankful for my studio. Although I haven't had time to be a writer this year, I am thankful for my new space that is just for my studio and I have since created multiple pieces of art that I love. I am thankful for that space.

And most of all, I am thankful for this blog! Woot! I have readers from all over the world and over 50,000 views and you guys are seriously awesome for reading what I just think is my regular thoughts every day.


That's all folks,
love you, all. Miss you, all. I'll write soon. :-)




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It's Just in my Genetic Code

I'm the type of person that wants to help you out by paying off your debt when we play monopoly or by giving you a couple extra hundred when you run to the bathroom because I don't want to see you be sad.

I'm the kind of person that doesn't want to win if it means you losing by a landslide. I'll throw the game and let you win.

I'm the kind of person that would give you $10,000 dollars if it meant you could do something to make you extremely or even remotely happy. (if I had $10,000, that is).

I'm the kind of person that will always put your happiness first because I'm pretty excellent at fixing my own heartbreak- but I worry about you.


Sometimes I wish I knew how to be mean. I wish I knew how to just explode and put people in their place that really deserve it. To yell and scream and say really powerful words and walk away forever.

Sometimes I wish I knew how to call someone out on something they are doing or saying wrong. If it is to protect someone else, I will speak up. But if it's to protect me, I let it go. I don't speak up for myself.

I know how to make it on my own- how to bury...or... Drop the pain and move on. Because I'll be okay. I just worry about everyone else.


I wish I could re-wire myself and fix my genetic code. I like caring for everyone- even the immature, ignorant and inconsiderate people. I want everyone o be happy. To be okay. To be loved. To believe in their self. I guess that's why I'm going to be a nurse. Nurses take oaths to care for everyone, regardless of their race, values, beliefs, or previous actions. Regardless of their choices. Regardless if they are a prisoner, a rapist, pro-abortion, pro-life, a molester, or simply someone that eats at mcdonalds. Nurses care for everyone equally the same. I know I can do that. I've already demonstrated in life that I can put my own values and beliefs aside and care for anyone.

But it can be exhausting.

I don't think I've ever been seriously confronted. I don't think anyone has ever been that mad at me. I've gotten in small fights with people (outside of family and relationships) and when someone is mad at me I do everything I can to fix it. Unless I really, really, really believe that I am right and should not budge. In that case I'll let you be mad but I won't confront you. I won't call you out on your absurd behavior but I will avoid you. When I see you, I will be polite, considerate and nice to you.

I just wish...that I could sway in the other direction, at times, and other people could sway in my direction sometimes and be a little more thoughtful and considerate.

Maybe writing this blog is my way of being confrontational? Who the hell knows. I don't.

~WNB

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