Facepalm.

The past....couple days...week....month...have just been the type of days where I just want to be like......*facepalm*. Complete and utter failures, some on my part and some on other peoples parts.

It's hard to explain. It just seems that lately, no matter what direction I turn in, there is somebody there to point me in the other direction (in a not friendly way), or someone that is telling me I'm doing whatever I'm doing, wrong.

I hate confrontation. I'm beginning to really learn this about myself. I've always known growing up that I hate confrontation, but I'm just seeing now as I age into my mid twenties how much of a big problem it is. In high school and college, It was easier to let things go, let things slide. It was OK to get pushed over because the people that were primarily doing the pushing was my own parents, getting me to better myself more and more. But what else was there really to worry about? I had a part time job and that money went to funding things I enjoyed. No adult problems, I was well taken care of. So why strengthen the need to defend myself?

Until now. Hitting mid-twenties and living away from the parents, working a full time job. My friends are getting older with me, all with their own serious problems as well. They are getting married, having babies, being parents....life is rapidly changing around me. I am dating and this leads to really learning a LOT about the human race and how screwed up some people are out there.

All of those above unique scenarios lead to the inevitable set of confrontations. Two people are bound to come to a problem, and there needs to be a solution. Only two things can happen:  1) The two people can compromise.  2) One person has to completely back down.


Lately, I feel like I am doing nothing but continuously backing down. Not just for the same person, either- but in my job, in my living quarters, in my family, in my friendships, in the dating world. And its making me jaded. The more and more I witness the human race behaving like this the more I revert back to my original dream of wanting to live in a tiny cottage at the top of a mountain, alone.

I am the type of person that will do your side of your work for you, without being asked. Just because. I will go out of my way to help you and expect nothing in return. If I owe you money I will do my absolute best to pay you back as soon as I can. If you owe me money, I will never say anything. If I ask how your day is and you don't return the question, I'm still just as nice to you. I will pay for my friends/dates to eat or do whatever we are doing. I let my friends/dates pick whatever they want to do, what they want to eat.


Why, do you ask? Because I don't know how to be anything else. I literally don't know how to tell someone "you're being a JERK, and you are SO WRONG, why can't you SEE THAT?" Instead I keep it all bottled up. I guess part of it stems from being a nurse. We are trained to be able to keep a poker face when being in very awkward or difficult situations and to never talk back to a patient. So I guess I take that nature home with me.

A lot of me has always believed strongly in Karma. I think, "Okay- If I can handle this wrongdoing to me now, karma will bite them in the ass." Or, "maybe this person doesn't realize they are doing something wrong. Maybe next time they will realize and be extra sorry."

But it never happens that way. Karma never comes through. At least not in ways I can visibly see. People around me- acquaintances and people I consider friends, continuously make the same patterns and do it over and over.

And I get it. I do. If I never say something, then how are they supposed to know they are doing anything wrong? I guess I'm naive and immature in thinking that "Oh, eventually they will grow up and look back and realize they were wrong." But will they? Do people ever really change? No.

And lately I've been working on balancing out the wrongdoings. I make baby steps and confront people on the smaller issues but I have this inferiority complex and I instantly feel like a mouse asking for a cookie. A cookie that was never that persons cookie in the first place. Somehow I've either managed to surround myself with very dominant personalities or maybe I am just that introverted on the scale.

The only confrontation I know how to do is avoidance. And by avoidance, that means I won't seek you out for anything, even if you are the only person I know that can do me a particular favor. I will build my own damn house by myself before asking you for a hammer if I'm trying to avoid you. But I'm not even strong enough to tell you off or to even TELL you I'm upset once you do seek me out for whatever you need.

I let people walk all over me because I'd so much rather be the one thats hurt than worry about you being hurt, and I'm the one that hurt you. Is that so wrong? I know I can't let everyone walk all over me. I have to find a balance. But even when I attempt to fight back, it retaliates so much and backfires so drastically in my face, and things end up even worse than they were before. So I stop trying.


Lately it just seems like I've been dancing with the devil in many forms. You can't beat the devil. You have to get the F out of hell before he knows you are down there. And again, I leave hell thinking "boy, I really hope the devil meets his karma". But he won't. He's the devil. There is evil in this world and good. And I grew up thinking the good will always win. If you always do good for other people, people will do good to you. We always learned in elementary school to "treat others how you would like to be treated" and that motto always stuck in my head. But the devil will always be there, and he doesn't seem to give a flying shitwad if you treat him well, he's still going to screw you over.

Humanity makes me sad. Lately strangers make me happy because I don't expect them to be decent. Strangers can go either way, and it makes your day when a total stranger does something really nice for you. We live in a strange dark world and it brightens your day when a stranger smiles at you from across the room. Suddenly you don't feel as alone.


 I hope my faith in humanity comes back soon. I miss it.

I get that I am wrong here too in a lot of ways. I have disabled and very disorganized coping mechanisms. I get that. I need help with that. But part of me just wants to go build an igloo in Alaska, live there, and call it a day.



Sorry for the depressing mombojumbo post. I guess this is one of my few places I can let myself vent, even just a little bit.


~WNB.



.

The Artist

Alright. So who else has seen recently Oscar-ified "The Artist" ??

Alrighty, lets back track.

I saw the preview for it initially, a couple of months ago. I squirmed my face at it, like I so often do, judgementally, when I don't like something.

I thought...."Oh!  A movie about an artist! Like me! Yayayayay! Artists everywhere yay! Oh wait...its a silent movie? A Silent movie? In 2012? A black and white movie???? In 2012? It legit looks like it was made in the 1920s. For real. I don't get it. Was it actually filmed in 2012 or is it like, a re-release? Are they going to re-release all the old films, just like they're doing with disney morphing through the 3D phase? Oh, god."

Despite me liking movies, a lot, I take shame in the fact that I was just never able to really get in to the "Classics" of our grandparents time. Believe me, I tried. I took a literature & film class, and saw I'd say the top 10 classics, and suffered through each one. Even Casablanca (hate me now, i'm sorry!) I just don't like the classicy feel of the film. I love color.

So then I went about my life, moved on.

Then the Oscars came. And I kept hearing this movie name. The Artist. And I thought to myself, is that the one that I shunned off the planet when I saw the preview?  Um, Yeah. It was.

So it came to my local independant theater. I saw it listed there for weeks. But I kept tossing the idea around.

I should go see it. I'll probably like it. After all, it wouldn't be all over the Oscars if the majority of its audience didn't like it, right? It has to be good. Or at least a little good. But its silent....and I have major ADHD....can I trust myself to sit through a 2 hr silent film and not fall asleep? Probably not. I like sound. I like sound a lot. You know what else I like a lot? Color. I like color. Can I get over not having color for two hours? I don't know. But its about an artist, right? I'll probably like it. And it has tap dancing, I know that. I like tap dancing. And John Goodman. He's cool. And 2012-ish. GO see it. Just do it. If you hate it, then oh well. Do it.



So, I went to go see it. Anddddddd, the only thing I'm mad about, is...WHY DIDN'T I GO SEE THIS SOONER?


It.was. ADORABLE.


Yes. I do have ADHD. I love sound and I love color, and yet I was perfectly entrapped for the whole two hours in this silent, black and white film that looked like it was filmed in 1930.


Being that lately I've strangely coincidentally been around a lot of people that majored in film and are going into the film industry, (and that I've taken one film class myself), I've picked up a couple things about artistic direction in film. That being so, I can confidently say that the artistic direction, symbolism and picture in "The Artist" is pure genius. Things are very carefully placed, the settings chosen perfectly. Being that it is silent, the actors have to work that much harder to convey emotion, and they did it well. Props must be used ever so carefully to help the audience show whats going on.

As for the music, It was used and not used in all the right spots. It was almost like the music was doing the talking. It was like,  "hey, in case you don't GET the fact that this scene is supposed to be really intense, let me make the music really super intense."

Plot, Incredible. I followed every minute of it and was at the edge of my scene in some parts. There were literally moments where I was surprised the movie took a certain direction, and parts where I was seriously wondering what was going to happen next. Thats saying a lot for a silent movie, I think. It kind of had a "42nd Street" feel to it, where you are watching how (in this case-a movie) is put together, so you see the characters playing multiple roles at different times, off screen and on so to speak.

Characters.....ah, the best part. Leads played by Jean Dujardin and Berenice Bejo, you fall in love instantly with the two of them, like you're supposed to. Berenice Bejo pulls you in the very second you meet her and you can't help but not stop looking at her the whole rest of the movie. Well casted, well casted. She is the center of the movie and it may not have lifted off as well without her enthusiasm, her obvious love for the movie, her smile, and her emotion. Amazing actress and I hope we continue to see more of her.

Any actress that is visibly able to portray what they are saying with only using their gestures and body language and lip reading, is a genius. I think so, at least.


I'm going to leave you this time with not a trailer- as I so often do. This is because when I saw the trailer, I squirmed my face, both times. It didn't make me want to go run and see the movie. I went because I wanted to see what all the hype was about. So instead I'm leaving you with my favorite (ADORABLE!!!) clip from the movie. Enjoy!

PS- Take it from me. I'm squirmy. I have horrible, horrible ADHD and hardly can't sit through anything. I don't normally like B&W or silents, ever. But this, this was awesome. Go.See.It. I promise you'll like it.



~WNB


.

It's a Southern Thang

I have spent the last five days in Kentucky, on the border of Ohio (we literally took a walk to Ohio). In my mind, we were travelling horizontal from New Jersey, and it wasn’t until we arrived and the valet park attendant said “Ya’ll have a nice day now” that I realized we were indeed, “South”. How the heck did we do that?



I have had a great time, though! The very first thing I realized about Cincinnati, Ohio was that it was so Clean. Like, seriously clean. I knew Chicago was cleaner than NYC, but is all of Ohio so clean? The entire city looks as if it has been plucked out of one of those freaky Inception dreams where everything is surreal. The buildings so new, the sidewalks so fresh, no construction, the windows so polished….seriously.



But the real funny difference in culture when travelling hours away is the people.




Lets take the following scene, for example.



This is how it goes down in Kentucky:


You approach a Starbucks. But magically, someone has the door open for you already because everyone is just that nice. You walk in. At least five different people (strangers) say hi to you, on your way in or their way out. If you dare whip your phone out and text someone while you’re on line, at least three different people (this actually happened) will find a way to make conversation with you, somehow. The conversation will be a legit conversation that requires effort and adequate responding on your part. Just when you think your conversation is over, someone behind you in line pops in with, “Hey ya’ll I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I just thought your conversation was so intriguing and I must join in with my own input.” So then you, the original conversationee and another person are still talking about the weather. And none of you have ordered your coffee. The cashier looks at ya’ll standing side by side (makes conversation easier) and doesn’t know who is next. And I kid you not, everyone in line will encourage everyone else to go first and I heard “I’m in no rush, please you go ahead” said at least five times. And everyone smiles, all the time. At 7:30 in the morning. Its like Disney world. When I did make it up to the cashier and ordered, it turned out they were out of my favorite brand of tea. I said it was okay if I got a different one, but she insisted on going to their back room and finding the restock of my tea. And no one in line complained. And their tip jar for the cashiers was FULL. It took four times as long to stand in line and wait for my order, but I made three new friends (two other wedding photographers and 1 other a sound/filmmaker. )





Now Lets take the same typical scene in New Jersey/ New York:


You approach the starbucks. You open your own damn door. You stand in a long line, but it usually moves pretty fast because everyone goes fast. Absolutely no one talks to each other in line and everyone is either 1) talking on a cell phone 2)texting on a cell phone 3) doing anything else on a cell phone 4)playing with a tablet/ipad 5)reading the newspaper in their hand 6) reading the newspaper on their phone 7)watching the TV screen for the latest news. In fact, everyone else has their phone out so you pretty much feel compelled to do SOMETHING on your phone, even if you just checked your facebook,email and all your recent text messages right before you approached the starbucks. Its okay, do it again there could be something new. Besides the business man yelling into his cell phone (usually at the same time he’s trying to order), the only other chatter you’ll hear is the occasional set of friends chit-chatting in line and it will be about business, or about the coffee they ordered. It is RARE for strangers to talk to each other and if they do its usually because one feels like they did something to the other that warrants a half-felt “sorry” (i.e. bumped into one another ever so slightly [northern people never like to touch]). On occasion you’ll have the out-of-stater that asks how that brand of coffee is because he’s trying to make conversation, and he’ll get a “Its good.” (with a smile-maybe) in return. On the good side, you move through the line quickly, you get your order quickly and you get out quickly. On the bad side, you make no new friends. Also, if your favorite tea brand is out- sorry for you. You BETTER have a back up order ready to go in your mind or else you’re gonna get some audibly grumpy people in line behind you. Also, I have never seen a tip jar at a starbucks, ever around here.


It’s not even like I just noticed this. Its not just Ohio and its not just New York City/ NY/ NJ. In all my travels I have seriously generally noticed this sharp difference in American sub-cultures. Its astounding.




I wonder why this is, though? Why the “South” is known for generally being slow (physically- not cognitively), but for being very nice. The “North” I think is known for being fast-paced, grumpy, all attitude and ready to push you out of the way. Also, when I told one of my new found Starbucks friends that I was from New Jersey, she immediately thought “Jersey Shore” and asked if Jersey was all interstates and factories like that. *Slam face against wall now*.



But I guess what I’m trying to say here is that even though the North has that reputation in public, it doesn’t mean we’re automatically bad people, it just means we have grown up where things move fast, you get things on demand, you move fast, you get things fast, you do things fast, you constantly have at least one piece of technology on your body or in purse, and you have checked at least one form of social media (twitter, facebook, email, text) within the last ten minutes. It’s all on how we’re raised, how life is grained into us from the beginning. What’s taught to us about what’s acceptable and what’s not.



On that theory, I would love to meet someone who grew up constantly on the move around the world and United States. I wonder what culture they adapt to. That would be an interesting sociology project.


Even though I brand the North here with a horrible reputation and I give the South a nice reputation (I think I did, at least), I don’t think I could live in the South. Is that so wrong? Is it wrong to love the Northern culture, where everyone is opinionated, grumpy and quick? No. Because I think we’re also intelligent, effective, cultured, and undeniably witty.


I’m sure if I moved to somewhere South and lived there for awhile, I would get used to it. Then, when visiting or returning back North I would probably hate how the people are. Like I said, its all what you are used to at the current time. I think 87% of Humans don’t like change. I just made that up.


In order to survive in the North, you have to make it your own. People will not openly talk to you like they will in the South. If you want to meet people, you have to target them and make your own conversation. You have to be bold. Say what’s on your mind. If you want to be shy here, that’s okay- but you won’t get noticed and that’s just that. I kept to my shy self in Ohio and still 3 people wanted to talk to me in Starbucks.


The reason why I’ve been in Ohio is for another convention (another blog post coming up). At the end of the convention the announcer said, “Well, all that have come from far and near, I hope you all leave with a new friend you didn’t have before”. Me and my dad looked at each other and laughed. “Nope!” We both thought. Oh well. I’ll try harder next time….


 
See Ya'll later,
 
WNB
 
 
 
PS- if any of my readers are from Kentucky, Ohio or anywhere thats branded as being "South", then I hope I didn't offend you. You're lovely, thats the point. You're all so lovely its nauseatingly lovely. I'm just astounded how different people are based on where they live, and thats my point. Have a nice day! :)
 
 
 
.

TiMEr In Review

Hey all!

So for Christmas this past year, my parents were thoughtful enough to buy me a "Roku" player, which plays me instant stream of netflix and HuluPlus, primarily. This is excellent being that I miss a lot of primetime TV being on night shift, and now I can watch it on my TV like a normal person and not my phone or computer. Woo!

Point being, I have been streaming a LOT of independent movies from netflix. Recently, in Summer 2011, I discovered a local arts campus near me that plays independent movies, foreign films, documentaries, etc. Every movie I have seen there has been downright amazing, so amazing in fact, that I am appalled why it is not a bigger release. So naturally I have come to love independent movies.

I have seen a lot of them lately because of my need to make up for years of not even knowing this was its own genre. Some of these excellent titles include "Welcome to the Riley's", "Wristcutters:A love Story", "Ten Inch Heros", and "Listen to your Heart", just to name a few. The one I was most intrigued by was "TiMEr", starring Emma Caulfield and John Patrick Amedori.

Intriguing, yes? Yes.

So basically, the movie is set on the premise that if you, in this semi-futuristic placed society, choose to get one of these "Love timers", then you can take the guesswork out of love. No more questioning, "is this worth it?", "Did I marry the right person?", "My time is running out, should I give this relationship more time, or let it go now and give myself time to find someone better?". It ensures accuracy, certainty. Perfect matches. But is that a good thing? What do you think?

Would you get a timer? As for myself, I immediately instinctly thought, "absolutely not. I like to be able to think for myself. Choose for myself. Getting a Timer is no different from joining EHarmony."  But then I thought about it. And thought about it some more. I talked about it even. And now I'm writing this blog, so obviously I thought about this unique striking concept a lot.

Lets first talk about the benefits. . .

• No more guesswork, no more unhappiness waiting for a dead relationship to change.
• No more wasting time. Months, years, spent in relationships that go no where.
• Gives you time to put love aside and that's OK. Follow me here. Lets say you got a timer, and it says to you, that you have 4 years, 82 days and 16 minutes until you found your soul mate. If that was my timer, I'd be relieved! In four years I can happily finish my masters, start my doctorate, launch my novel, get published, launch my nursing career, etc. By the time I met "him", I'd be successful (hopefully). I'd be financially stable. I'd be emotionally stable. I'd be a lot more mature. I'd be 27.  But in real life, right now, in reality, I'm 23 right now. Yes, I'm young, but I'm getting old enough that each person I meet that is a potential boyfriend, I have to think- Is it worth pursuing further? Is this worth my time? No more fruitless dating. No more saying yes to a four year relationship right now if its not going to lead to something. Time is running out. Maybe it would be nice to have that all figured out for me.
• It would lower the divorce rate, in the long term. If people were soulmates, then why would they ever have to get divorced? However, the divorce rate would skyrocket in the short term when they first came out and people realized they weren't soulmates with their spouses.... not good. Or good? Hmm.

Negatives of the TImer:

• The guesswork in love is half the FUN!  The guesswork is the butterflies! Its the part that makes you smile at all hours of the day. Its the uncertainty that really makes you think about the person and then say, YES, he/she is the one! C'mon, if we all got timers, how is that any different than being matchmaked by a Yenta? Or retrograding our society back to a time where our parents traded our daughters off to suitors for money? And the young couple "learned to love each other"? How is that any different? 
• On that same note....In the movie, the main dilemma is that while this girl is waiting for her timer to go off, she falls in love with this other male. They are what you call typical, American, have-a-good-time love. But they have fights. They aren't perfect. They aren't perfect for each other, that we know for sure. But then she finds her soul mate,  a complete stranger that she has never met. So is she now just supposed to leap into strangers arms and run off into the sunset because a little machine says to? Who's to say whose love is more real, the timers choice or her own?
• I think the Timer would make for some awfully sad situations. Lets say two soul mates marry, and they know they are soul mates, because of this timer. But one dies. Now the widow knows she will never truly find another soul mate, never truly find love again, because her real soul mate died. Whereas the way I like to look at the world, is that if you lose love (through divorce, death, etc.), it is possible to fall in love again. Absolutely. You just have to let your heart heal. But its possible. But what if you knew you already had your one time chance? Then what?
•  Would you seriously want your timer to go off with a stranger, on a random day, and then.....awkwardness...You're just supposed to drop everything and start dating? What if you do "fall in love" (chemically), with this person, but you hate who the person actually is? You hate what they do, their habits, etc. Sometimes, the way it goes in real life, is we fall madly in love with people we hate. And we can't help it. And we hate our selves for it.
• As a dilemma also presented in the movie, is the problem that not everyone in any society can be forced to adapt to any one practice. Therefore, not everyone in the film has a timer device. This presents a problem, as it is pretty much pointless (according to them) to date someone without a timer, if you do have a timer, because your timer won't go off for them unless they have one too. So you're back to square one. If they have no timer, you have to guess. Back to guesswork. So maybe you'll move on. But what if your soul mate never gets a timer, and your "real" soul mate was that person you let go because they didn't have one?

Am I making any sense?  :-)



Basically, I honestly can't decide if I would get one or not. Maybe. Probably. But thats just because I'm 23. I wouldn't encourage a 12 year old to get one (this is featured in the movie). I firmly believe teenagers are supposed to date around. They shouldn't meet their soul mate that young. Its healthy to see what all the fishies are like before you find your own fish. But finding your soul mate in your 20s, after *unsuccessfully* dating a plethora of fish? I think I could see the reasoning behind that.



What do you guys think? I really wanna know your thoughts. ALSO, go see the movie! Its instant streamable on Netflix. :D


With love,


~A Writer in a Nurse's Body




PS- Should I make a separate page of reviewing all of these fantastic independents I see? Hmm...



.

Morph up the Confidence

So today I got to go to something in my county called, "Victorian Days" where one of our small (old) towns transforms itself back to the Victorian Era and the townspeople dress up to the time period and they do Victorian type events and so house tours, etc. It's pretty neat!

Pictures from the funtastic Victorian day:

So yay! But thats not the point of this blog (post). This is:

Morphsuits!


So, living a kind of sheltered life (apparently so) I had no idea these existed! But, sure enough, at this VICTORIAN DAYS, two youngins (maybe? They could have been old I guess?) came out of nowhere, one came up to me and wanted a high five, and the other did a cart wheel and then they ran off giggling. I sort of was just flabbergasted and awestruck and I wasn't sure really how to react to that. Except, its kind of hard to surprise me, so naturally I sort of just kept walking like nothing happened. But on the inside my mind was like, whhaa?


So it got me thinking, as I watched these two....people...parade down the street, saying hello to people, doing cartwheels...high fiving, taking funny pictures....its all stuff they most likely would never do if they were identifiable. So it got me thinking (so much thinking going on here!) what would I do if I were unidentifiable? If no one would ever know it was me? Completely anonymous, and yet so very noticeable? It's easier to be silly, easier to be confident, and playful....


What would you do if no one knew it was you? Kinda sounds fun, doesn't it?

Part of me says I would never do it because I'd be too embarassed....but...thats silly, because no one would know! Hmm.....maybe one day! Thing is this is the first time I've seen this in America. Am I just that sheltered or is this a more European thing? Hmmm..



~ WNB

Contagion

Okay.


So, despite the fact that I do occasionally like to do movie reviews, this isn't exactly a movie review. But it kind of is. More so, it's commenting on the fact of how real it is.




First of all, go see the movie so you know what I'm talking about. I will *try* not to give too much away after this line but you never know. Just go see it. For those of you that are squeemish, there's only one squeem-producing scene, the rest is all fine to watch.



Okay so the movie centers around the fact that a strand of the avian influenza virus has struck the human species, in a form that is transmitted from human to human, rather than just bird to human. Being the fact that humans are usually so social and we are obsessed with touching so many things, any human contact transmission disease/virus spreads like wildfire. Also, thanks to how fast we can travel nowadays *and* how travel weakens the immune system of those travelling (lack of sleep, lack of nutrition, new environment/new bacteria/crowded air-bus-train travel), its sure-fire that the world would be just as much if not more danger than the movie actually presents.

In the movie, the virus starts spreading like wildfire. First 2, then 4, then 16, then hundreds, then thousands, millions, and so on (Which is how it would happen in real life). Then the CDC & WHO take notice and get involved and naturally, send out officers to try and figure out the root of this virus and to stop it (which would also happen in real life except a lot more than 3 main officers would be on the case).


But then news gets out. And thats when things go sour. People start panicking. Panic is contagious in and of itself. One person panics and suddenly no one knows what to believe. Think about it, you leave your house and you're on your front porch. A stranger is running around outside screaming in terror, running in the other direction. Wouldn't that make you a little panicky?

So, panic + human race makes greed. There is simply too many people in this world and not enough supplies for everyone....and thats with things running smoothly! When worldwide disaster strikes, everything shuts down and suddenly no one knows what to do. Food? Water? Electronics? People start raiding stores. Some for basic necessities, others in pure greed and opportunity to loot. When stores run out, people start breaking into peoples houses, stealing from one another on the street. And in the case of a worldwide epidemic, the support you would normally turn to, is probably sick. The police are sick, and even the healthy ones are probably not going to try and battle the crazed streets, risking their lives and risking getting sick and bringing it home to their family. So chances are the cops are out, the healthcare, emergency squads, firemen, etc. So then it's every man for himself. Unfortunately. Especially with a pandemic, it gets especially tricky. You want to trust your neighbor, but suddenly you can't trust anyone. Everyone but you and *maybe* your family is the enemy. Anyone could be sick. So people can't even bond together and fight and help each other out until proven immune.


And then the vaccine or cure of some type comes out. And then it gets even worse.  People kill each other to get their hands on it first.


So, it could happen. I've been learning about the possibility ever since nursing school and since then I've been worried, because now I know how easily it could happen and how unprepared we are as a nation and as a planet. I don't think our hospitals are ready. I don't think the country as a collective average whole is educated enough to know the basics of what-to-do and what-not-to-do during this type of pandemic. And when its already happening, its too late. Its too late to educate then, because during, who can you really even believe?


I have a gnawing feeling that despite everyone being worried about 2012 and the "mysterious end of the world" and the "sun exploding"  or "us being swallowed by a blackhole".....thats all possibility. But a pandemic is a pending reality. I think it could be the end of the world and people don't even realize it. The sad thing is it could all so easily be prevented. First prevention, secondary and tertiary prevention. I think if the virus/plague didn't kill us all on its own, the survivors would kill each other or we would all starve/dehydrate. It would be a pretty awful world.


So thats my depressing post. Overall the movie was excellent. It really depicts the reality of the situation and I hope it opens peoples eyes. People need to see what could happen. What will happen if were not careful.



Goodnight! Go see it !

~ A Writer in a Nurse's Body

Its a Different World!

Hello! I have found a small nook of time to blog a little before we leave for our bikeride along the Dutch countryside! I have one hour so I will blog as much as I can and then pick up where I left off!

It gets dark here at like....10:30. That is so wild. At 9 pm, I swear it looks like the American version of 2 or 3 pm. So weird. It really isn't helping my body get used to adjusting to jet lag! Jet lag is funny because no matter how much sleep I get I'm still tired, I keep waking up at 3 am feeling awake, and my stomach is constantly hungry!! (which is not good, because food is not exactly plentiful!) Well, it IS plentiful, but my wallet is not!

Anyway, no more complaints.

Our hotel is lovely! It is on the wee outskirts of Amsterdam in a residential neighborhood, about a 15 minute walk to the tram station and then about 30 minutes on the tram. As I'm writing this I can hear neighborhood kids playing outside- running around playing baseball and kickball (they probably call it something different).

I have the bestest, most sweetest roommates in the world! For Amsterdam at least, we are probably going to have to switch next city to meet other people.

I am 90% sure that my group is the only 30 people in the hotel that speak fluent english- everyone else is Dutch. Which I KEEP FORGETTING, because other than that--you would think this is an "american" hotel. So I get on the elevator and I say "Good morning" and they don't respond. Or I mutter off something quickly that any fluent english person would understand but not someone that does not know it well. Or, days like today, I said "Good morning" in Dutch! Woot! and must have pulled it off well because then they continued a conversation with me in Dutch and I had to sheepishly say and shrug, "Sorry, English."  Conversation over.

And its weird being out in public-- Like I can't say "I'm sorry" to a stranger if I bump into them, or whatever. Or I can't say little things to keep up a conversation with a stranger.

The funny thing is, I guess because its a huge city, is its a lot like New York City in that its a big melting pot of languages. There is mostly Dutch, but also a lot of spanish, german and a wee bit of French. Most signs are first written in Dutch and then in English, which is nice of them. America doesn't exactly pride itself in having signs with Dutch translation at the bottom. Also, when looking at a Dutch phrase, with a little common sense it is easy to figure out quickly. I have already figured out the common words for "the, your, you, I, we, would, no smoking, open, again, etc." Also if you try and pronounce the Dutch phrase, sometimes it even sounds like the English way except a little different.  Languages are so much fun to play with!

Also, all of their music here is the same as ours, and all in English. A lot of their signs and coffeeshops and clothing stores, are all written in English and only English. And when my friends and I were lost, every Dutch person we stopped to ask directions was able to communicate enough in English. Kudos to them! I think America needs to step up their game in terms of learning more languages. I know its in our school systems, but its not enough. Most of us are not fluent in Spanish, and that is our "second language". We need to step it up and be more universally acceptable.

Anyway, Yesterday was fun! We started on a sightseeing tour which was funny because typical me is listening with one ear but taking pictures like crazy. But this is necessary, you see, because when the tour group stops to teach us something, I have to take pictures because taking pictures while walking has proven to be difficult.

After the sightseeing tour, we ended up at Anne Frank's House. This was really emotional and very saddening. Unfortunately cameras were strictly not allowed, so I don't have any. The entire tour going through was very quiet. It was startling to see the living conditions they were forced in to, and how it turned out anyway. It was very sad and hard to see, but also very eye-opening and interesting. For instance, I did not know that Anne wanted to be a writer. She wanted to publish her own book called the "Secret Annex". Besides her famous diary, she kept many other books with random favorite quotes, and creative writing scenes, novels and poetry which reminds me a lot of myself, which I really liked.

After that emotional toll, we all went to their supermarket here and grabbed some lunch ( I got a smoothie and an apple for 2.80 Euro! woot

After my mini-alone excursion (one I will never forget!) We went on a relaxing boat tour through the canal, which was relaxing. Did I mention it was relaxing? We all so needed it. We took lots of pictures together and I took lots of pictures of....everything else.  After our cruise we had some free time til dinner, and this is where the bonding came in. About 6 of us decided to just walk around and explore. We came across a really cool flea market and I got some sweet pictures. We did some shopping, talking, and getting to know each other. By the end of the 2 hours, we all felt like best friends. It was unforgettable, and amazing, having that instant connection with five other people after just meeting them.

We then went to dinner, and it took us about halfway into our entree to figure out what nationality we chose. We thought we were in a Thai or Indian type food place, but turns it was totally Greek. very, very Greek. And I tried new things! And didn't die! Didnt even get nauseous! :D Although I honestly could not tell you WHAT I tried.

After dinner we went to this park where the famous " I amsterdam" sign is, and we all took pictures in while climbing in letters together. It was so much fun!

After that we went to the "Red Light District"....for those of you that do not know, prostitution is very legal in Amsterdam. The RLD is a place where prostitutes can openly sell their services to people seeking. It was the wildest thing I have ever seen, and certainly something I will never see in America! Women in bikini's wait in their house doorways behind a glass window, and tap at you as you walk by if they are interested in you. If you are interested in them first, you can go to them and discuss pricing for their services. Then you make a deal and...well, you know. So it was sad to see that women were relying on this for their income and being treated so lowly and this is what their life has come too...but at the same time I am glad it is legal because the country has so many practices in place to keep these women safe, STD free and free of lifelong detriments such as AIDS. Also, they are making a LOT of money.


Anyway, thats the majority of my day! Thanks for sticking around for a long blog! Hope I made it interesting! Today is a bike ride along the Dutch countryside, and I leave in ten minutes! We won't be done until later tonight. Tomorrow is an 8 hour bus ride to Munich!

~A Writer in a Nurses Body < 3

Saying Goodbye

I think one of the weirdest feelings in the world is saying goodbye to people. Not just "Goodbye, I'll see you in an hour, or a day, or in a week, a month, or not sure when-but I'll see you in the future...", but instead the final goodbye. When you know you have finished your path with a particular person and it is highly unlikely you will naturally ever cross paths again. Maybe you were friends in college but not good enough friends to stay friends after graduation. You say goodbye to hundreds of people on graduation day, and I think most of us naturally say, "see you soon! Let's Get together!" Because we can't face the fact that we will probably never see each other again. We can't take all that lonliness and emotional trauma all at once.

Or maybe you are saying goodbye to a professor you had all four years of your college existence. Naturally, your time together is over. This is really goodbye.

I think we brush off goodbyes, as humans. We don't like to do them, so we don't. It becomes a light-hearted, "Oh I'm sure I'll see you soon!" And then that person moves away and you never see that person. Then, that time when you two just bumped into each other at the supermarket- just so happens to be the last time you will ever talk to that person.

I think its easier to hope. To hope that maybe fate has something else in mind. That if the fates wanted you two, three, four or whatever number of people to be together, there would be a way.

Sometimes your final goodbye isn't so final after all. I hope this is true.

~WNB


P.S.- I have a REALLY wonderful picture post coming tomorrow! Look forward to it!

When Love Happens

When you see someone across the room that you find completely fascinating and you begin to have daydreams about magically bumping into him, your first conversation, the kinds of dates you'd go on, the stunning wedding,  the children you'd have, growing old together, and then you think....wait, I haven't even said hello yet.

But what are you supposed to do? What are you supposed to do when you see someone that you've been dreaming about, but you're too shy to say hello?

Are you supposed to let love happen, or go after it?

Are you supposed to let it happen like in the  movies, where you both bump into each other (literally) and papers go flying, and he helps you pick them up, and your hands magically touch....or your car breaks down, and he magically comes to help you fix your car on the side of the road, or you both reach for the same pineapple in the grocery store....

...Those would all be perfect and easy ways to fall in love. But what if he is across the room, and you're still on the other side? You cannot think of any logical non-insane way for you to "magically meet".  Are you supposed to throw all movie-induced fake fantasies aside, and just walk up to them and say hello, I think you are the hottest guy I've ever met, and I want to mate with you for ever? Like a penguin? I think that would not go over well, in my opinion.  If someone said that to me, based off my multiple psych experiences, I would be seriously concerned for their mental health.
So naturally I expect any guy that I go up to and say that, to be really weirded out and I lose all chance.

So how do you do it? Past relationships have been the type where we met in hell (high school) class, the other was introduced by a friend.

I guess for now I'm going to still wait for the magical meet-up. Until I hit 30. Then its getting late. Then I will have to start just saying hi and go with the whole penguin talk thing.

Just maybe

I think I need a facebook hiatus.

I wonder if I could actually do it?

I mean....I literally check facebook all the time. the problem is, its on my phone. I get constant notifications. When I'm bored, I reload my facebook page from my phone and see what everyones up to. I constantly recheck for notifications. So in order to do this I'll have to take away my facebook app for a little while.

I think I may shoot for a week. I'll probably last a week. Or an hour.

I just keep making myself depressed everytime something stupid comes on my Newsfeed that I really didn't care to see.

I thought I'd be ready to face all this, but turns out- Not as ready as I thought.

I wish I could just pull an "eat, pray, love" and go to india for a year and just meditate, read...not bring my phone. Not bring a computer...

I never, ever, ever, thought I'd ever say that. But, I never thought I'd feel like this either.

Whenever I heard of someone going on a facebook hiatus, I thought...well, thats no fun. How can you give up facebook? How will i TALK to you?? I thought they were crazy. That they were just shutting down from the world and doing it via facebook. And maybe thats what I'm doing? I don't know. But now it makes sense. I understand why people leave facebook sometimes now. Why they need a break...I guess everyone reaches that moment a point in their lives.

This is definitely not going to last. But I'm gonna try. Its going to be really hard. But lately, seeing certain things come up on feed has been even harder. And I can't even complain. I can't even say anything. Its not my place in even the slightest bit.

~ WNB.

Tomorrow. I'm gonna start trying this. I'll keep you updated.


PS_ Im not going to do one of those farewell status' thats all like "Im leaving facebook for _____this long, text me if you need me!" because 1) thats lame and 2) it really just adds so much fuel to the already burning fire. I need a lot of things but certainly no more fire.

My Inventions

So I have two inventions. Well, not really inventions. Because it isn't something you can hold in your hand. Rather, its an idea to help promote a better world. I just need someone to take charge of it...Let's see what you think of it!

I have two nursing inventions, but those two are two actual "things" that might actually be inventable....maybe one day I'll share them with you. :-)

Anyway, back to the "abstract idea inventions"...

1)   This relates back to my post, "It's a Social Thing", when I was frustrated with how hard it is to avoid restaurants, not because of the food- but because well, its a social thing.
Scenario: Boy meets girl. Boy asks girl out. Somewhere they can just talk. Movies? No, can't talk in a movie. Bowling? No,  you can't talk while you bowl because someone is always bowling. Shop around in the mall? No, thats incredibly awkward. Oh, Hey- Lets go out to eat! Thats a good place to talk. It gives you something to do with your hands when the conversation pauses. You can awkwardly stare at other people, play with your straw, drink 4 glasses of water, eat every last crumb on your plate and then stare at them.....(Ok, maybe thats just what I do- But still). Thats my point. People use restaurants as a place to just talk, catch up, whatever, and eating just comes along with it. And then the food all contributes to America's Obesity epidemic. But what else do we have?

So, heres my wild abstract thought: Why not create some sort of.....place...where people can go just to talk?  It would be a big building, a huge center. There would be lots of different "areas" that you can go to, with tables, or couches....In the winter, there would be areas with real fireplaces going. Maybe you could reserve a room for you and a friend, or group of friends to just have a good time with....

There would be places to get tea/coffee, too. Because thats a must. In my world. Maybe there will be a bookstore. (Okay this is turning into B&N).  Maybe there can be a recreation center, where you can rent a tennis court with a friend, or racquetball or something. There could be a pool. There could be a club, where you ballroom dance in by day and nightclub dance in by night....All things with no food!

I wonder if it would actually work. Probably not. I'm forgetting that not everyone in this universe hates the food industry as much as me. And that usually, people aren't looking to talk. And, normal people like food.  SO tell me -- do you think this would fail? Would people go to a place like this on a date, or with friends, just to talk, as opposed to eating out? Or would they eat out AND go to this place?

I guess you can't stop America from eating out unless you shut down all the chain restaurants. That would never happen.

I'm also forgetting that you could always invite a date or a group of friends to your home to talk, but that doesn't always work out.  It's hard to be a host and not everyone actively enjoys that.



Invention Two:

This invention stemmed from the recent article, "The Hot Spotters" by Atul Gawande  in the New Yorker. The article was about how we can map out where the most expensive patients are coming from, by state, by city, by building in the city....And by finding where they are coming from, we can actively seek out to help that particular population. Atul Gawande points out that If we see a particular apartment complex in Camden, NJ is housing a significantly large amount of ER visits or chronic conditions, perhaps thats a good place to place a doctor's office or Nurse Practitioner, to target them before they get to the ER or get to be a chronic condition.

So, keeping that in mind, keep this in mind:

There are a lot of homeless people in America. What if we mapped out where the high incidences of homeless people were, and acted there first? And its not always just the big cities that have high populations of homeless people, sometimes its the little towns.

So how do we act? Well, what if we had big homeless shelters (again with the big idea, big center thing), to house homeless people? There would be qualifications to enter, of course. No drugs or alcohol on premise whatsoever. This center would help you find a job, they would have a thrift store on campus, to buy cheap clothes and business suits for work...

I know some people are against spending tax dollars to house homeless people, because the stereotype is that these people are homeless because they spent all their money on drugs, or alcohol, or gambled it all, or whatever. But think about the people that did nothing wrong. Think about the single mothers. Think about the children, the teenagers. Think about people that just lost their home. What about them? Do we really want them on the streets? By keeping them on the streets, they become a risk to themselves. They are predisposing themselves to more health problems (malnutrition, infections, hypothermia), violence, and a life of continued homelessness. Without help they don't know how to get an education (or finish one), how to get a job, how to find a bed to sleep in that night.

So this place, (there would be many throughout the nation in the "hot spots"), would be a safe haven for these people. A way to get them off the streets. A warm place. With showers, and food. Blankets. Clothes. It wouldn't be luxury, it wouldn't be long-term, and it wouldn't be meant for people to want to stay there instead of getting there life turned around and finding somewhere better.

I know that in a lot of homeless shelters today there becomes a problem where women are not the dominant resident type, and therefore they are outnumbered, and are at risk for harassment or sexual abuse. So my new type of homeless shelter would have divisions. Like 50 beds for the men, 30 for teens, 40 for adult women, 10 "rooms" for each homeless family. Maybe this place could even have a school of its own. Like a GED diploma program on campus. Maybe the residents could work at the center, in the food area, or in the school, or in the thrift store...

I don't know. Just some ideas. I like to think big. Usually when I'm supposed to be paying attention in class. I wonder if any of these ideas could ever work....

A Handy Phrase, and Filtering

Hi! So, first of all, how the heck did my day literally just go from getting out of clinical at 2pm to being 7pm?? what the heck did I do for the last 5 hours?? Seriously? I usually love daylight savings and having more light but this is really screwing me up....I see its light out and I think, "Oh, I have a lot more time in my day." But then I look down at the clock and it is SEVEN O FIVE. P.M. AND ITS STILL LIGHT OUT. At least when our days are short, when it gets dark dark at like 5, its a warning that you have to really get started on the rest of your night....now, we get our warning 7-8 and by then its like, crap...I have to eat dinner and do all my work. What have I been doing??

OK enough about nature.

This past weekend I picked up a really good phrase to use in nursing. I don't like to call it a "phrase" because I don't want to make it seem like "I use it on everybody" but.....well, nurses do. Nurses encounter a lot of similar situations and "classic" situations and need a "bag of phrases" to come out with that aren't "too cliche-y"...(example- "I'm dying"  "No of course not!")

I have had patients that told me they are dying or are afraid that they are sitting on their deathbed. And I know I will have the same occurrences when I'm a nurse. And thinking about it, I never know what to say.  "Am I dying??"  Me:  "Um, well.. Let me get your nurse."    I can't do that when I'm the nurse. I can't rely on the nurse anymore to think of things and fix things when I am the nurse. So, I needed something that I could say to patients when this situation arose. Well, this past weekend at work I had a patient that is certainly not doing well but I honestly wouldn't say she is dying. Maybe extremely depressed due to situational factors but not dying. But, while I happened to be in the room, she told her daughter, "I'm dying, aren't I?"   I sort of just stopped moving and stayed quiet and pretended to do something really important while her daughter thought of a response. But she shot right back to her mom, "Well Mom, We're all dying, day by day, but I don't think you're going anywhere anytime soon."

So simple. So true. And yet why didn't I think of that? Its a good one to pull out on someone that really isn't dying but think they are. Of course no one actually knows if someone is going to die, but we can presume based on presenting data. Of course this isn't a fix for someone that you know really is  on their deathbed and they ask you, eye to eye, "Am I dying?"

I don't want to lie to a patient, ever. But....What are you supposed to say? Yes? Maybe by tomorrow? Next week? Next year? In an hour? Start praying? Call your family? So I still have to think about this one.

New topic: Filtering.

Lately, for like the past year, and its been getting progressively worse ( I don't know why), I am doing a horrible  job at filtering whatever decides to come out of my mouth. So, so, so  SO many times lately I will say something to somebody, or to a group, or write it on facebook or on this blog, or WHATEVER, and somehow it offends somebody. Whereas I never mean it like it comes out, it just sounds really bad the way I say things sometimes. Sometimes I realized I may  have or probably offended someone but they are just keeping quiet about it, and then I stress about it for the next week. Other times, like yesterday, someone literally said in a serious voice, "You realize you just insulted me?"  I was like......wait, what? I thought about what I said, thought about it again, and even thought about it again, and couldn't find where I was insulting her. Turns out she just misunderstood and what I said sounded completely different than what I was actually thinking, I guess. BUt I fixed it. I think. maybe. Anyway, regardless, I need to stoppppppp just talkinggggg. I have literally have to just say to myself, "OK. Seriously, just shut UP. STOP TALKING." If I don't talk, I can't say anything stupid or offend anyone.

I used to really filter my thoughts. I thought everything through, word by word, before I said it. But I hardly ever said anything. I didn't know  anything. I didn't have any opinions. Now I do. Now I want them to be known....I dont want to just be quiet. I guess that comes hand in hand with offending some people that don't agree? I just hate hurting people when I never intended it for it to be that way. Sometimes I say something in general that might be offensive, and it turns out that it highly relates to the person I am talking to and I didn't know it. Another reason to live in a cave and just stop talking forever. Sounds like a good idea to me.

My food industry opinions get my in trouble a lot....But I am trying really hard not to annoy people with that. I just seriously need to start filtering my thoughts! Stop blurting things out! Multiple times within the past month I have sounded like a complete idiot. Oh well. Life goes on.

But actually, some people out there say to not filter your thoughts. Because that makes you fake and not-honest. When you have to pre-meditate everything you say to cater to who you are talking to. Some people really just don't give a shit. Some people just have their opinions and people that don't agree can go....well, you know. Some people don't care if they offend a group of people or a person, because they don't need people. I don't need people either, but I genuinely hate offending people. I don't like being mean, ever, and don't ever mean to hurt anyone. Thats why I'd so much rather just stop talking ever. Too bad I have a blog I can't let go of....lol. But I usually am really careful (most of the time) on what I share on this blog.

OK I'm going to stop talking now.

~ WNB

I seriously just talk way too much. Stop talking.

Social Awkwardness Question

Okay here's the situation:

You are at work...or, anywhere, really, (I happened to be at work but it could happen anywhere), and you are with someone (like a coworker) at the dinner cafeteria. Now, in my work culture, all the 3-11 aides through out the hospital usually know each other, and usually, we sit down and eat together at dinner to discuss our floors or the weather, or complain, or vent, or whatever. But that doesn't mean we really, really, know each other, it just means we have conversations, we know a *little* bit about another, but don't *really* know the person. So, say,  you are in a situation where it is just you and a coworker that you say hi to every now and then, but don't really know any of their business, and frankly, don't want to. And they don't know anything  about you. All you know about each other is where you work. Well, All is quiet between us at the dinner table. I am staring intensely at my turkey sandwich and she is texting on her cell phone. All of the sudden, she says, (while looking at her cell phone), "Oh my god."   I sort of shift in my seat...and break away from the interesting turkey sandwich, and sort of look up at her, but she is still staring at phone.  then she repeats with a mild moan, "Oh my god." So I'm like.....okay...and then she's all like, "Oh, what the hell? This sucks!" 

So my question of social etiquette-ness to you, the public, is this- Should I- who doesn't want to get into their business but wants to be polite, say, "Whats wrong?"  If you don't ask, you're just sitting there like a monkey and you appear cold and that you don't care that apparently, something very negative is on her cell phone.  But if you do ask, its like you re nosy and you are stepping on someone Else's personal life....but do you just sit there??  I mean, this could happen at any place...work, a bus station, an ice cream store, in line, in a jungle....so be ready.

What I ended up doing, because I couldn't think of what to do right away and I'm a bumble monkey- Just sort of stared at her cell phone as if it would magically transmit its information to me and I could further assess the situation. Eventually she saw I was sitting there staring and I really just wanted to finish my sandwich, but I wasn't saying anything so she just told me what was up because maybe- she realized she sounded like she thought the world was ending.

I don't know. Has this ever happened to any of you? What did you do?? I really think I have Asperger's sometimes because I over analyze stuff like this and I obviously then blog about it. And If I think I walked out of a situation acting like a *complete* idiot, then It takes me like a whole 24 hours to get it off my mind. I hate messing up socially. And I've been doing it a lot lately, like mostly opening my mouth to speak when I haven't thought it through and I usually end up offending someone. Ahhh, but anyway- long day today at work, but nothing exciting and blog worthy. So, Its bedtime. Night folks!

~WNB

Facebook and it's Consistent Ability to Astonish Me

Facebook.

It has completely revolutionized our entire nation. Actually, the entire world. Because of one person. Zuckerberg is more than an entrepreneur. He should be in history textbooks...or at least sociology and psychology textbooks because with one website, he has completely revolutionized how we live. How we advertise. How we date. How we communicate. How we talk to each other. How we overthrow our government.

Did you know that Egypt's current situation was started and organized by a group that got together on Facebook? That Is on the verge of unbelievable. Can you imagine?

I think it is fascinating that this is how we live now. Facebook has become so engrained in our population and society, that I don't think we could function (properly) if the site crashed. Could you imagine that? What If someone hacked into facebook, or the site crashed on it's own? People would have to resort back to talking to eachother in person...or going up to a person and asking if they are single, rather than checking out their relationship status. Oh, imagine the turmoil...think of the young teenagers right now, ages 12-15 that have just recently gotten a facebook. They have entered the realm of dating with facebook to ease their fears. It is what they know, what they know how to do. You go to a persons page, check out their relationship status to see who they are dating or if they are single, check out their pictures and get to know them that way, reading all their statuses and friend comments to see their social network. If facebook went down, my generation (ages 18-26) would be fine. We entered this realm without facebook, we remember what It was like. We could go back to it. We remember writing love notes in high school, rather than writing on your crush's "wall". But new teenagers...rip it away and they would be lost, confused. It would take a while to re-train their brains on how human society possible functioned without facebook.

If a business (of any kind) wants to survive and do well nowadays, they better get a facebook account...and get people to "like" them. How else can a business that targets ages 12-75 reach the people? Tv? Yes. Newspaper? Maybe. Facebook? Of course.

Teachers, professors, principals..all get facebooks nowadays. Is it fair for a teacher to snoop on their students pictures or statuses and seeing they attended a party the same night the "dog ate their homework"? My college professor, whom I respect greatly and honor, told us yesterday that even she, has a facebook. The room wad silent. She then added, "I have to. If I want to see pictures of my grandchildren, that is." That thought astonished me. So, facebook is the only way she can see her grandchildren? So has facebook hindered that part of life for her or made it better? Before facebook, did she travel to see them in person? Did she receive a Christmas card in the mail annually with their pictures? Do they live in California and she never got to see them at all? Has facebook helped her get in touch and be involved in her grandchildrens lives? Maybe. Maybe both.

Both of my grandmothers have facebooks, in addition to my parents (both- although they know all about my life without the help of facebook anyway), 6 of my aunts (all out of state). I think facebook has been a remarkable way to stay in touch with them all, as well as my multitude of cousins, Also all out of state. I know what they are all doing on a daily basis, I know about their lives, I can see pictures of them growing as people and families. Most of them live in North Carolina and while growing up until the age of 19(when I got a facebook) I had no idea what half of my extended family was up too. I saw them once every 3-4 years and I was nervous to "meet" them because really, that's what I was doing- having not seen or even talked to any of them in so long. Now when I see them- I feel already updated on all of their lives, and them to me.

Walking around my library today, I have seen/heard the following: a group project getting together, one "head" person was instructing them that their following group from then on would be on a facebook group that the group head person had made.
Walking around the library, I'd say over 50% had their Facebook pages open.

A couple weeks ago, while watching "the social network" (facebook movie) in my campus student center, the majority of students had their laptops open with you guessed it, their facebooks.

Facebook is mentioned or seen in a massive amount of current movies or tv shows.

"the social network" is up for an Oscar, I believe.

More and more phones nowadays are smartphones(whether the consumer wanted it or not) and a smartphone would be immediately rejected if it did not support the Facebook app.

My phone autocorrects a multitude of strange and funny words, to facebook, in the hopes that facebook was the ultimate word I was trying to say.

The "share on facebook" icon is embedded into millions of websites, including YouTube, blogger, newspapers (online), etc. You can now "share" virtually almost anything.

Our president, has a facebook.

I can not honestly say that I would have watched the State of the Union address if it was not posted on Facebook.

I could probably say a lot more on the astonishing effects facebook has on our society.
But it would be a very long post, as I'm sure it already is. Point is, facebook has changed us and who knows what will happen if the site ever dwindles out or crashes completely. Facebook has changed us, whether we like it or not, believe it or not, or accept it or not.

Amazing. All because of one guy. In college. In a dorm room.

~WNB

P.S- I just typed "Facebook" 35 times. That, my friends, is sad.

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Curious Observations

Picture of the Week

A little late again, but I'd rather wait for an awesome picture that comes Sunday or whenever, than find an iffy one on Friday. :-) So this one I took today, because I these two made me smile so much. They sat at the table next to me in Barnes and Noble and this was the best dad ever. I aged him to be pretty young (20-25) and the little boy in the chair is approximately 3. Well, this dad was so devoted. I first saw them making laps around the store, the dad following the little boy around making conversation, as they passed me I heard from the dad, "It's just like a maze, Isn't it??" (commenting on the store layout)...and he had the sippy cup in hand, ready to go, and multiple children's books in hand. Later is when I realized that the same two had sat down next to me. Obviously within ear shot, I was able to hear the lovely sound of this dad reading 8 ( I kid you not!) Thomas the Tank Engine books. The boy was paying close attention, and was making remarks and asking questions. The dad was like, genuinely interested and cared. It was so adorable to watch. I know one too many parents that would find a stack of children's books and sit them down to read by them selves so that the parent can do his own thing. But anyway, here is the picture:

I made it so that you couldn't see either of their faces and therefore they are unrecognizeable and it is OK to put on the internet! Right? Lol. o_O

Not much to say recently...(blogwise)...life has been rather unexclamatory (new word?). And I'd rather not bore you with minor and silly things just for the sake of writing a daily blog entry. And, finals are coming (blech) this week, so I may not have much to say at all this week. Or maybe I'll procrastinate and i'll coincidentally have a LOT to say, who knows? ;)
So hopefully new, interesting, topics will come to mind soon...otherwise, happy reading and have a nice evening :)


~WNB

Disclaimer: I am not a creeper! I swear.

Interesting Topic of Conversation

I'm in Barnes & Noble. There are two girls in high school, at a table a couple away from me, legitimately discussing the happenings of dinosaur sex.



I am not kidding.

I am curious to know what class this is for? o_O

Curious Observation, or "Staring"?

Today, I went to our cafeteria type setting food court thing and ate my food and people watched, a favorite activity. Out of the corner of my eye, in the couch-seats a couple feet away from me, I saw someone trying to get up, but almost fell, and he had a guy (also our age) with him, that caught him. At first I thought this was just a simple case of someone-almost-trips-but-someone-nice-is-there-to-catch-you situation, until I looked closer and realized the guy that almost fell was suffering from some type of muscular deterioration condition (MD, MS, MG..? I couldn't quite tell.) His companion must have been a friend or a hired aide by the college or personal family. So, me being a nursing major, I am extremely curious about this man. I want to learn, observe. I am in the medical community and I am curious to see conditions and diseases first-hand, rather than in textbooks. But, we live in a type of society where 'staring' at people-different-than-you is considered rude. So even though all I want to do is watch this person, I couldn't help but look back down at my sandwich, because I didn't want to appear cold, or rude, or a person that is scrutinizing this person because he is different....It's a fine, fine line. If I were disabled in any way, or if I had a condition that made me look different, I wouldn't care if you were a nursing major and were just "curious" about me...I still wouldn't want you to stare at me as if I were a monkey in a zoo. From their perspective, people don't have it written on their foreheads as to why they are staring at you, whether or not they are innocently curious, or if they are making fun of you, or feel sorry for you. So, circling back to me in the cafeteria, I felt it unnecessary to watch this man, because I wouldn't want to be watched. The interesting part is, he wasn't even turned towards me and wouldn't even have seen me watching anyway, but I still don't want to be that person that is staring. You know as well as I do that it is very easy to "feel" eyes on you. How many times have you looked up and found someone across the room staring straight at you? See, that's another paranormal human connection type thing...

Another interesting observation of the day...

~WNB

Is it just New Jersey?

I think we live in a type of society where people are afraid to talk to each other (as strangers). I think we want to talk to each other. We have things to say. We want to tell the random stranger walking by that their skirt looks pretty or they look nice, or comment about the book they are reading, or even just randomly talk about the weather to a random passerby. I hate that we live in a world now that if a stranger strikes a random conversation, most people (not all) automatically go into guard + defense mode. They automatically think that that stranger wants something. They clutch their valuables tighter. They give short, polite responses.

It's like being friendly to strangers beyond the norm is considered strange. Maybe it's just a united states up-north thing but people here are just so used to keeping to themselves and that's that. Or maybe it's just me. I don't think so, though. I observe a lot of people (when I should be studying) and notice this.

For example, I am in B & N today (shocker!) and they have a greeter at the door saying hello, how are you to everyone. If I weren't busy writing papers and studying for my final, I would conduct a study right now. So far I have seen 3 main groups.
1) the polite people that greet him back and ask how he is.
2) the people that smile at the greet but keep walking and don't answer (usually me)
3) people that look at him very funny and think he is strange and don't want to talk to him or they are afraid of him
4). (I thought of another group)- people that don't know what to do so they decide to completely ignore him and keep walking-staring straight ahead.

Isn't it interesting? People are so interesting. And funny.

A mother trailing two kids just walked by and he asked how they were and the kids answered and The mother pulled them away and told them not to speak to strangers, and proceeded to completely ignore him.

The other night me and my friend were getting gas and it was freezing (literally) outside and the poor gas guy (I live in jersey- it's full service here) was bored and struck up a conversation with us about the weather, our truck, gas prices, you name it. Upon leaving we both looked at each other because we both thought it was highly unusual and strange that this person had talked to us about something other than what type o gas we wanted.

Guys, listen. Around the U.S, fellow new jerseyians, Europeans, around the world, anyone that reads this: answer me this- what are people like where you are? Is it common or unusual to strike random conversations with strangers? Do people keep to themselves? Tell me about your people, I'm extremely curious! And to fellow tri-staters, am I the only one that notices this or do you guys agree?

Very interested :-) I should have been a sociology major...