Choo Chooing Quietly...

So I babysat the kiddies today (babysat 8-3 and then worked 3-11....ouch. Long. Day.)  and as always, the things they say throw me for a serious loop.

Within the same 15 minutes of my arrival and the mother's departure this morning, I had such a blast. The 4 year old boy is still not potty trained and has this gigantic fear of the pooping in the potty for some ungodly known reason. And the parents have tried everything, and I mean everything. So, to my utmost joy and total convenience (not) the mother tells me on her way out, "By the way-- they don't get to watch ANY T.V. until he poops in the potty."  So I'm like, oh- Fabulous. I rely on the tv a lot when I'm making them meals or in the potty myself (lol o god I just said potty when referring to myself....). So I knew right off the bat this was going to be a very interesting day.

Meanwhile, I have the delight of dealing with a screaming two year old that wanted nothing whatso ever to do with me or anything that represented me or anything that came from me or said by me. So, I'm in her bedroom with her *attempting* to help her get dressed for the day, because in her midst of screaming I made out a mere "IWANTTOGETDRESSED". So be it. So I started helping her take off her Jammies which only made her scream more when she screams "IWANTTOKEEPMYJAMMIESON". So we went back and forth like this for quite some time until I hear out of the corner of my ear  from the 4 year old, "JULIEEE! I HAVE TO POOOOOOOP!"  

This is the golden moment where I think my head turned to the side like a curious dog that just heard something that he is not sure about. I had to think about it for a second. He has to poop? ANd he wants to go in the potty? And he is telling me? OH MY GOD.  So in my midst of proper prioritization, I turn back to the screaming 2 year old and tell her that its totally up to her to pick out an outfit for the day and dress herself and that I was not going to help her if she was going to scream. So I went in (well, ran in) with mr. 4 year old and "gave him his privacy" aka stood outside the door, when 5 seconds later (literally) he tells me, "JULIEEEEE, I POOOOPED!"   Well, that was not long enough, I think, he just sat down! So through the door I insisted, sit longer and push some more out, get all the poop out! (lol). And I get back a "I CANT!"   So that was that. And, sure enough I went in to help him be done thinking there would be nothing but........there was like a friggen monster. I'm telling you. Frightful.  And he looks up at me, and says, "Can I watch t.v. now please?"  lol. yes. go for it little man.

needless to say in his delight of pooping on the duck potty, and in all the rush, he totally peed  all.over.the.floor. WHICH I did NOT know until my feet were wet and he felt obligated to tell me that although he totally pooped in the potty, he peed on the floor, and that it was gross. Yes, thank you. So I spent the next half hour with a lot of clorox (gross). But I actually didnt even mind because I was so happy he pooped! (Oh my god I sound like an overexcited mom.....oh my. )

Back to the 2 year old...she comes out of her room and besides the fact that her pants are on backwards, I am totally impressed. She picked out a gorgegous little tank top I didnt even know she had, and (somewhat) matching pants, and even put her hair in a bow. And no more screaming. Just went and sat down and watched t.v.   Morning success.


Before I leave you for the night, I shall leave you with a couple conversation babysitting funnies: the 4 year old shall be Boo and the 2 year old will be squirt (girl).

Squirt is holding her baby doll, rocking it to sleep, telling everyone, "Shhh!".
Boo starts to sing a little lullaby, mixed with a little soft humming. I thought this was nice.
Squirt: "Boo, be quiet baby is trying to sleep!"
Boo: I know I'm singing a lullaby!"
Squirt: But you have to be quiet, the baby is trying to SLEEP."
Boo: I know but i'm singing a LULLABY for it!"
Squirt: but the baby is trying to sleep!

this conversation went on just like this for a healthy thirty seconds until I had to intervene, with:

"Squirt, sometimes people sing lullabies to help little babies fall asleep."

Squirt: *paused*.... "Oh."   starts singing/ humming a lullaby to her baby.
Boo: I AM SINGING THIS LULLABY TO YOUR BABY SQUIRT!!!!!!!!!!

*facepalm*.



Later on in day, on another occurence when squirt was shhhhing everyone for her baby, Boo was playing with his trains, Choo Chooing.

Squirt: Shh!
Boo: Squirt, I canNOT Choo choo quietly!



Later on in day....t.v. is off, they are just playing with their imaginations in their room. I love to watch this.....
Boo: C'mon Squirt we have to go feed all the parrots in the zoo with all the seeds!!!!
Squirt: AHHHHHHHHH!!! *Runs around in circles* (she really was).
Boo: "don't roll your eyes at me."


I also taught the two year old how and when to say "Bon Appetit!", because she made a kitchen setup for her dolls and was telling them to enjoy their food and was looking to me to uh...say a couple words? So I said, "Bon appetit!" and of course got crazy looks. So I explained what it meant and when people say it. Needless to say, I am so looking forward to the parents faces when day ( I wish I could see this) when they all get some dinner and squirt says, "Bon Appetit!". Priceless.


~WNB




  

Bubbles on a Beautiful Day

Hey all!

So, lately....life has been good. I've been around family I haven't seen in quite awhile that live a good full day's drive away, I have been blessed with beautiful weather, my baby sister just topped off  phenomenal performances (6 performances!) of Hairspray, as the lead- Tracy, I am unpacking my college-life and adding it to my home life (this is HARD), and re-packing for Europe (Also Hard), I've been hanging out with the best people in the world, I've been doing a LOT of thinking, a lot of reading, and a lot of listening to good music.....but most importantly, I've been blowing lots of bubbles in the sun :-)

Believe it or not, blowing bubbles is extremely de-stressing and I promise it works just as well as Prozac. Go try it if you're feeling under the weather. Bubbles make everyone happy. Its like, a given. I think it even says it on the bottle.

So, this is a picture post today. Lots and lots of pictures. This is also a new app that I downloaded a long time ago and used it once and I was like, "what the heck is this? I don't get it. This is stupid." And I didnt use it for a couple months. Then, I tried it randomly one day and loved the way the pics came out. Now I can't stop using it. Its called "Hipstamatic" for those of you who own/love your iphone and photography. :-)

Unfortunately, I don't think the camera could pick up any of the bubbles, considering it was a struggle to jug the task of blowing lots of bubbles for them to go catch and then taking pictures with my other hand. But use your imagination; I promise bubbles actually existed.

Cute bubble blowing gadget.

Watching the bubbles.

"Can I give a bubble to my doggie?"

"Can we play with the hose?"......"No."

This has my finger in the top which angers me but the rest of the picture is just TOO CUTE to exclude- They thought it wise to try and break into their parents side of the house. I just sat back and watched, and um...supervised. Cute picture though. :-)

"THere is a PERSON that LOOKS LIKE ME in there!"

"Swinging" all by herself. This is a huge milestone.

Curious.

I promise she's not dead. She was looking at a bug. For a good twenty minutes. She definitely does not have ADHD, like me.

I tried so hard to get a picture of her showing her face, but it was really hard. She's the most adorable girl and yet moves every time she see's the camera.

Sort of got one. She saw a bird.

playing...

Swinging with the flip-flop shot :-)

Being Adventurous

"Snowboarding?"

I LOVE this picture. It was the cutest thing. We were outside for a good two hours and when we first came outside, the boy saw the crescent of the moon. He says, "Hey look, the moon is out and the sun at the same time! How did the moon come out!?" So I gave them a mini-science lesson on the sun and the moon and how they sort of work and they looked at me like it was just too much to believe, and I LOVE that. And then about two hours later, as seen in this picture, the little girl looked up and exclaimed, "The moon MOVED!" And then proceeded to stare at it continuously to see if it would keep moving. So I then gave another mini-lesson on how the moon and stars and sun move during the night and day and it was the cutest and coolest thing ever. Just to see their minds process this new interesting information is something you can never forget. Love it.

Let me remind you these are not my children, these are the lovebugs I babysit often. I could only hope my children one day in the future could only be this adorable!


Thanks for reading, earthlings!!

~A Writer (and photographer ;) ) in a nurse's body


P.S.- EUROPE IN TWO WEEKSS!!!!!! So psyched. Be ready for a lot of blogs soon about Europe. My apologies in advance.

Bad case of the meanies

While babysitting, I hear 4 year old boy and 2 year old girl fighting in tv room. I interfere.

Me: what's the fighting about?
Boy: we want to watch tv.
Me: okay.
Boy: I want to watch Thomas and she wants to watch cailou.
Me: well she already got to watch cailou today before her nap, so we can watch Thomas.
Boy (to his sister): see, we are going to watch a LOT of Thomas and VERY LITTLE of cailou.


He then proceeded to say this 3 more times, in case she didn't get the message the first time. Ouch.




Boy is later sitting, playing with trains. I sit next to him, waiting for an acceptable train I can play with.
Boy: I want to play trains alone.
Me: oh. Okay.

I go sit on couch, a couple feet away. I whip out my cell phone to answer a couple texts. He sees phone (he has this odd obsession with my phone- he saw me playing a game on it once an now thinks the whole thing is a game). He comes and sits on my lap, starts touching phone.

Boy: I LOVE playing with you!


~_~


*we are all outside playing bubbles. I blow the bubbles, they both try and pop them while running after them*
*I blow bubbles and 4 year old, like a football player, decides to plow through everything insight, including his sister, to get this stupid bubble. He knocks his sister flat on her behind.*

Me: We do not run over things, including people, to get the bubbles!
Boy: Why not?

Trick Question

While babysitting, conversing about status of his bladder:

Me: do you have to pee?
4 year old: I just did!
Me: when?
4 year old: before! When you were here last time!
Me: that was last week. Do you have to pee-pee now?
4 year old: nooooooooooo.
Me: are you surreeee?
4 year old: noooooooooooo.
Me: well do you want some juice?
4 year old: nooooooo-umm, yeah.


Gotcha.




(earlier this morning, during breakfast. I made toasted waffles.
Boy: I want syrup.
Me: okay.
Girl: I Dont want syrup.
Me: okay.

Later, boy is playing with syrup and his waffles.
Girl: I want syrup!!
Me: okay, but before you said you didn't want syrup.
*stare down*
*I get the syrup.*
girl: I DON'T WANT SYRUP!!!!!!!


^^I'm just confused.


*I'm getting them both dressed to go outside. I always start with the two year old girl first. But by the time I get in there, she has her socks AND shoes AND coat halfway on. This girl is determined. Meanwhile, I gave 4 year old simple assignment of putting on his socks. This shouldn't have been hard. *
Me (walking into boys room, he doesn't even have one sock on yet. And he's trying.) : You haven't put your socks on yet?
Boy (trying really hard to pull them on, but they are backwards): Mommy always does this for  me.
Me: Am I mommy?
Boy: No. But you can still put my socks on.
Me: *getting frustrated, its nearing the last hour of my scheduled 8.5 hours* "C'mon now, you're two year old sister has mastered this."
Boy: I know, i know, I can sometimes put my socks on. But not when they are rough and slow. And these socks are in the middle.

^ I don't know. I just dont know, lol.

~WNB

Seriously?

Another babysitting day today. Joyous. So I usually let them reign terror in terms of playing because in my opinion, it's easier to clean up one big mess than to continuously nag them all day to clean up every mess. Which I even did, but they seriously just blatantly ignore me. So based on the picture above, at the end of the day...I'm like-seriously?? And this was taken after I fixed an overturned chair ottoman thing.

My parents always had my sister and I cleaning. Naturally, I therefore grew up to hate cleaning up toys, but I still naturally do it. I have this OCD thing about it now. But I cannot get these kids to clean if my life depended on it. Here are some clever tries, but to no avail:

Me: are you guys cleaning in there? (after I asked them too 10 minutes ago while I'm making lunch)
4 year old- "nooooooooope."

(later in day)
Me: let's have a cleaning contest! Who can pick up the most toys??
4 year old: "not me. Ask my sister though she can."


Me: are you cleaning?
4 year old: noooo. I'm too busy playing.


*I start to pick up toys myself*
boy: HEY! I am playing with that!
Me: You haven't played with it in over an hour. You're playing with the farm animals over there.
Boy: Well now I'm playing with this.
Me: Okay. I'll go clean up the farm animals.
Boy: If you clean up one more toy, I will make this whole room dirty!

^ I stopped cleaning up after that. I don't get paid enough for that.


Me: can you help me pick up the Legos?
4 year old: "but I didn't even mess up the Legos!"
Me: well, sometimes we have to help clean up messes that other people make.
Boy: this is so unfair.



I agree little man, I agree.

Sluggerlogs, Obituaries, and Long Beach Island

Unique title, yes? Betch' ya never heard of that one before, huh?

Anyway, they have nothing to do with each other. As I said this morning, they are just a collection of tidbits from the past week that I have collected to share with you.

Sluggerlogs:

Does anyone know what this has anything to do with anything? I don't.

When I babysit the little four year old, I can usually understand *mostly* everything he says. I have a hard time understanding diction when like...normal people talk, and its even harder to not only understand what a young child is saying, but to then understand what he means by what he's saying. But I've gotten a LOT better at it. Last year at this time, If i didn't understand what either of them wanted, I would just give up and let them cry until they gave up or I figured it out. But now I can get it by watching their mannerisms too, the context of the situation and listening for diction better. And, they are getting older and easier to understand. The other day we were playing with his train set and he kept asking me to "click on the train over there to make it go choo choo" and I was like....why does he keep going back to the "clicking"?  Then I realized that the father bought him a Thomas the Tank Engine computer game, and it all made sense. So working with kids, half of the game is just going with the flow. I think thats an important lesson for nursing, too, doncha think?

Anyway, today I came across something that I was just like....what?

He is getting into the stage where when he is pissed at me, which happens often, he fancies screaming, "SLUGGERLOG!!!!" or sometimes he mixes it up with "SLUGGERHORN!"  Does any one that works with kids and kids products know what this is? Or if you say it outloud, does it sound like something else he might be saying?

It's probably from a TV show he's seen, or a movie....or something he picked up from a game or something. I will NEVER underestimate the power of TV on a child's brain. For the better but mostly for the worse.

So, here's my ethical dilemma. He is using the word as a demeaning sentence to me. If he were an adult equally pissed off, he would substitute SLuggerlog with something we consider to be a "curse" word. But he doesn't know any curse words. Yet. But he is using it as one, just without realizing it. Sometimes he would call me specifically a sluggerlog, and sometimes he would just shout it out in frustration. So can you punish a child for saying that, even if 1) you don't know what it actually means, and 2) its not really a bad word, just a....confusing word? 

Can you punish a child for calling you a "Happy Easter Bunny" if he meant it in a screaming and horrible bad way? Where do you draw the line?

Sluggerlog, will lead to the next word which will lead to the actual curse words soon. If they encourage the behavior of calling out any word in a moment of frustration, or to someone now, its like saying that is acceptable to do even when those words are defined as a curse word.  But is it OK?  I can't exactly tell him, "Don't say that, its not nice." Because.....I don't even know what it means, but I just get the general gist its not meant to be nice, in his mind, especially observing his tone of voice, facial expression and facial redness.



On to a newwww topic: Obituaries.

Ever re-visit a hobby or collection, or something you just used to do in the past, and realize that you were kind of insane?   I did yesterday.   I'm having relatives over in a couple weeks, and they will probably be sleeping over in my room. So I've been trying to clean it up a little, take out the junk, make it look like a 23 year old lives inside, not a 12 year old. 

Well, back when I was working Full Time as an aide, I was obviously seeing a LOT of patients, and I used to be obsessed with learning names. I was also obsessed with reading obituaries. If I had a patient and they died  long after after I had them, I would still remember them. I then felt compelled to cut out every obituary I knew the person for, and then proceed to write a little bit about the person that I could contribute on the back, and hang it on my wall as a memory. Everyone said I was crazy. And creepy. But I didn't see it. I just saw it as remembering old friends, old patients that I shared a part of my life with. People I shared last moments of life with. People that shared their life story with me. I just saw it as honoring them and remembering them when I looked at my wall.  Keep in mind that the obits were NOT the only thing on my wall! I have a huge wall full of literature that I wrote, memories, pictures I took, quotes, comics, etc.  SO the obits just sort of found places.  But people still thought I was crazy. But I kept doing it. Well, I must have saved and clipped at least 100 over the years. And kept them all. But they weren't all up on the wall. It got to be so many that I came to my senses mid-way and took down most. I kept up the ones that either I knew *personally* beyond the patient-nurse level, or were just patients that were extra-memorable. 

But I couldnt even manage to throw the rest out. I got a special folder and put them all in and filed it away. I felt like throwing them out was disrespect. That because at one time I took the time to remember and honor them and now I was just throwing them out? I couldn't get past it. I couldn't get past the sad concept that someones entire life....sometimes 100 years of life, was all wrapped up in a single column, and who ever even looked at it?

I always wanted to know more about my patients. Being a writer at heart, I always want to know your back-story. Why are you here, what are you thinking, whats your story?  So when I read the obits, I just want to know more about the lifestyle they led, the people they were before I met them as a patient. I just found it fascinating.

Well, being off at school, and not working FT anymore, I lost interest in clipping or even looking for them. Occasionally I would have a death on the floor and then look for the obit and then just read it, but not clip it, sometimes I would just occasionally read through the obits one random day and scan it for names I knew...But I grew out of the odd clipping/hanging them on wall "hobby".

So now, a couple years later in time, when I'm cleaning up my room, I stare at my entire wall. I think, "Should I take this down?" But I couldnt take the wall down. But I could take the obits down.

I thought it would be hard. But when I went up to them to re-read them, I couldn't even remember them as patients. The whole point was to remember them and hold on to them, and I forgot them anyway. I guess with the amount of patients I have seen, its easy to do. But still sad. So I'm looking at all these names, and thinking, they mean nothing to me on this wall now. So I took them all down and threw them out. It was sad, but not as meaningful as I thought it would be.

But looking back now, everyone was right. It was really creepy. And odd. I meant well. In my brain it made perfect sense. In reality, not so much.  So they are all gone now.


Do I have room for a third topic? Maybeeee. I'll make it quick.

I had a dream last night that I was in LBI (Jersey shore). We go here as an annual vacation and I look forward to it drastically every year. Its my favorite part of summer. As Ive mentioned before, I cannot stand the ocean, but I can't get enough of the beach. I love the beach, the sand, the smells, the shore type towns, the mini golfing....I love it all. But in my dream though, It happened to be a rainy and depressing week that we got to go. In my dream, I was sitting outside on some sort of fence, In a sweatshirt. I think I was reading a book? I remember looking down the boardwalk, and thinking:
" I can't believe its supposed to rain this whole week we're here. I can't believe our week is almost over and all I've done is sit here in the rain. Where did the time go? I need to get up. I need to live, I need to get out of the rain." So I finished the dream by running, running a long time in the sand on the beach. It felt so good.

Point is, that last thought in the dream is a huge metaphor for how my last entire week has been.

I wouldn't even know how to start explaining it all, if I tried and could. All I can say is that hopefully it will get better soon.I'm making a couple moves in the right direction to make things better. Health-wise, emotion wise, relationship-wise (with everyone), and so forth.  It will all be OK. I'm sure of that. I just need change, I think. I need something life-changing. I need to do something different. Get out of this routine I'm stuck mindlessly in.....


Thanks for reading everyone. I'll blog soon...:-)  

~ A Writer in a Nurse's Body

Kid's Logic is Precious

I spent the entire day (most of it) laughing yesterday. I babysat again (ages 4 and 2) and usually, when I babysit, I find it hard to let loose and just be a kid with them. I'm the parent type and I would rather watch them play than play with them. But this week I had no homework to do, and therefore nothing important to do, and playing seemed like a pretty good idea.

I usually refrain from allowing them to make big forts all over the house, or "tents" or "trains" (string the kitchen chairs together), because it makes a mess. But yesterday I was like.....I am with these kids til 4. Thats 8 hours. We can clean up in the last hour. Lets make a mess now! woot! So it was a fun day with the kids.

I just want to share some exceedingly precious moments that occurred :-)

1) We were playing with playdough, all three of us. They usually split it up by color between the two of them and give me the remnants (how kind) so I can "make it into a ball" because apparently, I do this really well. The 2 year old girl is growing to be smarter and smarter every time I see her. This is the time of very fast intellectual growth for children and It is fascinating to see it happen first-hand. Every week she becomes more confident in what she learned last week, and her speech becomes more and more articulate and her vocabulary is growing so fast. Anyway, yesterday she is rolling together some pieces of clay and I was rolling together a random ball and she turns to me, extends her arm and says, "Look! I made a hotdog!"  I started laughing, and she knew it. I don't know where she got hotdog from, but it was so funny.

Maybe you had to be there. But it was still funny. Here's a picture of the artistic hot dog:

Use your imagination. :-)

2) Meanwhile, I briefly heard in the background the four year old tell me he was working on a brain but It didn't really register in my thoughts, I sort of just heard it. A couple of minutes later, he dropped some playdough on the floor to "feed the monkeys" ( I don't know), and I asked him to please pick it up. (so much for allowing them to make messes lol. But in this case- I didn't want the dog to eat it).   When he got back up to the table, he said triumphantly, "Okay. Now where's my brain????"

I forgot that he was making one for a split second, and just him saying that made me start cracking up laughing. Then I remembered he was making one and I showed him where it actually was. But he wasn't fooled, he asked, "Why are you laughing???" So to come up with an explanation as to why this made me laugh, I played dumb and said,

"your brain is in your head!"

him: "No, its not! "

"Yes it is. *I pointed to his forehead* It's right behind here!"

He looks upward and pushes away his bangs and said, "I can't see it!"   *I'm laughing so much*

"You can't see it. Its inside of your head. It helps you to think."

"it is NOT inside my head!"

"Okay."


3) Later on in the day, when it was time for the epic occurrence of watching Cailou on TV, I decided it was a good time to straighten my hair in order to get ready for my big nursing formal that night. So here I am in the back of the kitchen, where I can still see them just to be safe, minding my own business, pretty quiet...and he comes over, randomly, and asks, "What are you doing?"

So how do I explain I am frying my hair so that it is straight and not curly? My best explanation was, "I am fixing my hair."

"Oh. Well you look like a bird."
Me: "Thank you."
"Crows wear their hair like that."
Me: "okay."
"I liked your old hair."
Me: "Well I am sorry I am fixing it then. " *Sad face*
*he is thinking....* "Why are you fixing your hair?
Me: I have to make it look really pretty for a special dance I have to go to tonight."
*he squints his eyes, tilts his head and looks really confused, and is thinking* "Oh. Well when I look pretty I just go see Thomas."   (thomas is a tank engine).

I laughed pretty hard at that one too. I think he gets confused when I laugh at what he says because in his mind, he is totally legitimate. So cute.

4)  It is part my responsibility to aid in the event of potty training these children. Although the four year old is an expert on peeing in the big boy toilet, he is having some poo-ing issues. Although he "promises" to TELL me when he has to go so we can run to the potty, he never does. Ever. It is up to me to see weird signs that he is doing, like hiding behind a couch, laying on the ground, or picking at his butt to let me know he has to go (or IS going)...or I start to smell it if I'm close by.

So in the morning, I completely missed it. They were playing, I was making them breakfast, and when he came to the table to eat I noticed he completely let loose in his diaper. The mom of course doesn't like to see messy diapers at the end of the day because she wants her kids to be completely potty trained....yay. So I was pretty determined to not let it happen again. So a couple hours later, in the afternoon, I noticed him picking and it started to smell. So I took him right away and sure enough, there was already a (minor) accident. There was still time! So I told him, "lets try for some more" So we sat on the potty for like TWENTY minutes and read about 9 story books.

FInally, I gave up. There was just no more poo coming out of that behind for me.
So I asked, "Why don't you go poop on the potty?"
him: "I only poop for mommy and daddy. And sometimes for Aunt Debbie."
"Why don't you poop for me?"
"Because you're the babysitter."
"So?"
"Babysitters are supposed to PLAY with me not make me POOP."


so funny. I can't wait to be a mommy =]

~WNB

Rainy Days, Flooding and Painting

Picture of the week time ! I didn't forget :)  Except, I have two installments. One set of pictures today, and a special version for next week that is similar but much cooler. Instead of POTW- ITs more like "Picture Album of the week" because I have so many. But its like buying someone a gift. Its SO HARD not to give it to them when you already have it for them and its SO GOOD and you CANT WAIT to see if they will like it. Well, I recently took all these photos at once and I don't think I can give you one at a time over a span of one-a-week because I would go crazy. Maybe this should be a common occurrence and this could be "Picture of the month" ? Hmm. Well, enjoy. :)

This was taken when my father and I took a drive down to the Delaware river on the most recent 2011 flood, and...

 ...And it was interesting and all, but not very photogenic. I know photogenic when I see it, immediately. And then this dog just appeared, came up to us and we pet(ted?) it for a little, and then it went to where it is in picture....and suddenly it became photogenic.

Same doggie, same day, different picture

This picture is *not taken by me* but taken from my twin separated at birth (but not really-just psychologically), Mellie, and I fell in love with it. I fall in love with a lot of her pictures, usually of her girls (shown in picture). I'm not even sure if she knows/believes how good of a photographer she actually is or could be if she really wanted to.

 But anyway, I saw the picture and fell in love, asked for permission to picture, and revamped the special effects, and thats why it is here today. But it was never taken by me.

This was one of those pictures that you don't even have to set up....you just see it, and you snap the picture...even though it looks like I totally set that there.

This was taken at a friends house I visited over this winter and I was immediately drawn to her paint set- and it was just gorgeous and lovely and especially with the tone I put on the picture in the effects dept. , it screams "Sad, lonely painting day with music on while it rains-pours- outside your window" type of day. LOVE.

Another picture of her paintset. LOVE.



Paintbrushes in the windowsill

 So...As for an update on my life today....since yesterday....I babysat all day today. I could write a whole other blog on that....Basically, toddlers are SO HARD to work with/please. They require so much patience. And then I think to myself, Gee- If they are causing me this much anguish- How come I still really, really, really want to have kids one day? And my answer in my head was this- A lot of the anguish that arises while working with these kids comes from having to please the parent too. 1) everything is done in the parents/kids environment.  2) I can NEVER find anything, and its usually something the toddlers are screaming for 3)things are just done differently there 4) Its second nature for me to always have the kids back to the parents in the same condition or better than when I got them in the morning. In addition to the condition of the house. I always clean. I always sanitize everything. (I'm becoming OCD). I get the kids dressed and do their hair, feed them two meals, etc. But when we do activities  like painting or playdough, I am constantly stressed because I don't know "the rules". WHats allowed to get dirty? Can their clothes get dirty? How important is this table to you? Do you want me to put protective paper down? Is this paint even washable? Whereas if I were the parent and will be someday, I would first buy washable everything and then get them into painting clothes and say GO FOR IT. But this isn't that type of household...So, Its hard making up your own rules as you go along and making sure they fit into the households rules too. Its a long day! But, as hard as they can be at times, they are Truly adorable and surprise me every day with how smart they are or how kind they are. I do look forward to seeing them =]

THats all for today.....Off to the hospital to work tomorrow, Maybe I'll get a good blog entry from there?

Too-ta-loo...

~A Writer in a Nurse's Body

Picture of the Week

Yay! It's Friday and I have a picture to share with you!

This picture is extra special.

This is the adorable and loveable girl I babysit every once and awhile. This picture is unique because It was taken over this past summer, with my blackberry- before my iPhone even existed. Still pretty good though, eh? I am hesitant to put my photography company name on it because although it was taken with my phone and by me, the editing was done by a very good friend of mine that had an iPhone4 at the time. Unfortunately for him, I was in the very happy habit of sending him a lot of my pics so he could magically transform them into beautiful pieces of artwork such as the one above, even though he was usually busy at work. If that all doesn't make this picture special enough, I asked him a couple weeks ago if he still saved any of those pictures he fixed up for me, and this was the only one that had survived his phone resetting. And it happened to be my favorite one, and just the one I was thinking about when I asked him. So YAY! So I love this picture, and although my name is on it, it is not just my creation. Taken with a blackberry and edited with an iPhone, now thats a bird and a fish creation! Thank you :)

Not much else to say today. Vote on my poll, guys, I need your opinions! (Right hand side of this page). I still feel sad for Japan, I will continue to keep them in my thoughts.




~WNB

I Could Never be a Teacher

Isn't funny how you find a profession that is right for you, even if it may be extremely undesirable to others? For example, many many many people think nursing could never be for them. My own family has no idea how I do the jobs I do at work because they think it is extremely gross....but it just sort of fits for me I guess. At this point I can't see myself doing anything else (other than my dream job, of course- Pixar!). So everybody has that job in their mind that "they don't know how people survive in" or they think "they could never do". Mine is teaching.

I thought about it, going back to get my Masters and teaching nursing to college nursing programs one day....And its still a *slight* possibility, but getting smaller and smaller. This past week It was my turn to go to the Junior clinical (same place I was last year-ah!) and help them with their assignments. Our job was to pick out their patient, learn about their patient, go home and prepare questions to ask them the next morning, go the next morning to clinical, ask them all about their patients and watch them squirm because they are nervous and haven't learned anything yet, and then you feel awesome because you know things and they don't.

Well, I did fine with that part. But during the day the students come up to me asking me questions and I am thinking in my head, "What kind of a question is THAT? Where do you come up with these things???" And I think it is because of this: Nursing students are very inquisitive. As am I. They like to understand everything, to every possible extent. When learning about a disease their patient has, they want to know as much as possible, even if that means coming up with the smallest, most detailed questions about the disease. I remember doing it to my seniors when I was a junior and I remember asking my professor. Not because I wanted to put them on the spot, but because I genuinely thought they might know...They seemed so smart. They handled our questions so smoothly, when I, this week, probably looked at them very strangely and gave them the best answer I could.

 I could never be a teacher. This was my second experience working with someone that I was assigned to teach. It was weird because this time around, it was their patient- technically, not mine. I was only their to watch the student do the assigned work. But the way I work- I just want to get things done. I don't like to just stand there watching something (that also ties into my extreme ADD), so when the student is doing one thing, I desperately want to continue on to the next activity and complete that, even though I know she is supposed to practice. Oy. I guess I'm used to doing that at work, me and my fellow aides can practically read each others minds and can work as one being- with 4 hands getting the job done.

And then the students ask questions because they like rationale. Why are we taking her blood pressure again? Why does the pulse ox light turn on? Why is the sky blue? Why do we have to keep my patients feet up? Why does the shot she gets come prefilled?

So thats a minor update on last week...let me try and think of other things....

my NYT reading is not going great. I need more time! AH! But, i did buy an awesome book on clearance that is called "Smarter by Sunday" and every weekend you read about something new that they teach you about, and supposedly by the end of the year you will be a genius. So yesterday I learned about Illiad and the Odyssey and Homer, which I already knew about but it was a nice review. Also, I am reading a lot of Atul Gawande's work, and he is SO fascinating to read. I can't get enough of all these smart people.

Um...Cute moment of the week during babysitting:

I am cooking dinner.
4 year old boy, (R): What are you making?
Me: Chicken nuggets, green beans and mandarin oranges (weird combination-the mom picked it not me)
(R): I don't like green beans.
Me: Why not??? They are so good! They help you grow really tall and strong!! ( I made hand gestures)
(R): *skeptical* Okay.

*After Dinner* (He ate ALL of his green beans!)

(R): Julie!
me: What?
(R): I can already feel myself growing taller!!!
Me:  :-) !

I'm pretty sure thats all I have to update you on. I probably had a lot more in mind when I said last post "Oh my god I have a lot to update you on" but now I cant remember. So, sorry for that false excitement.

With Immense amounts of love,

~A Writer In a Nurse's Body

You're Going to be SO EXCITED! (Well, I am).

Because I have not one, but like....three or four pictures of the week. I'll regret this next week, when I'm like....crap, I need a picture of the week, but in the here and now- I'm pretty excited. So here goes: Enjoy. :)




This picture was taken a couple of nights ago, when I was walking home from watching the movie on campus. This font is really small so I will continue in non-caption format.  



So I'm walking home, and looking at all the messy piles of dirty snow around me. I hate dirty snow, and muddy snow, and yuck in general. And then.....a squirrel jumped out in front of me (our campus has CRAZY squirrels), and I watched where it went, and it went onto our football field. I was amazed as it glided across the perfect ice- snow. It was the only area of snow that hadn't been foot-printed....it was beautiful. And perfect. I had the overwhelming desire to sneak through that fence and jump around in it and...make a snow angel. :-)

This was funny. I was in a rush to leave my townhouse one morning, but I happened to look down at the bench outside my house and found this seashell.

At first I was like, "Oh, nice seashell.." and kept walking. But then I thought about it and I was thinking, what is a sea shell doing on a bench, outside my townhouse, in the middle of winter, in my area? (Not near the beach. Like...2+hours from the beach.) Did I mention in the middle of winter? Outside my townhouse? So after all this thinking, I was like-Oh my goodness that would be a good picture. So I looked around to see if anyone was watching because I always feel funny taking pictures with my cell phone when people are watching, and I took it. I wonder who put the seashell there? I like it :)



Adorable lovebug and her doggie.



This is the gorgeous, amazing, and fascinatingly smart little girl I babysit every so often. She called me on rather short notice today and needed me to babysit because her husband still had not returned home from plowing  from our recent snow storm  and she needed to go to work. So, pretty much as soon as I got there, she was already on her way out of the house and the kids were already in their snow suits and were playing outside. All I got was, "They will show you where to sled! Just keep them warm!" So we started to sled. It was a lot of fun! Despite "sledding"=me pulling them down a hill with a string, turning around and pulling them up the hill with the string. Sledding.



Another sepia-version of the girl and her sled.



I really liked this because some snow flakes got on my iphone camera (AH! WATER!) but it was ok and it made for a really good picture. This little boy (girl's older brother), asked me if he could make a snow angel.....me: "Um, of course you can?" So we made at least 50 snow angels. Their back yard is very angelic right now. But it was a lot of fun and this picture sort of reminded me of the movie cover "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" (GREAT MOVIE), and I had to take it.

This past summer, when I started watching these kids, it was more of a "I need money so I guess I'll do it even though I'm always tired/busy and I don't really know how to interact with kids" kind of thing. But now, I really look forward to everytime I get to see them. They are growing so fast every time I see them. They trust me now. They give me kisses and hugs when I see them. They ask me questions and like my answers. They eat food I give them! So weird! I know I am just babysitting, but It makes me feel like a mom and I love it. When I first started babysitting, the little girl did not speak at all (she was 17 months). Now she is speaking in full sentences! Short sentences, but meaningful and with purpose. So amazing!!

And I felt really special when the mom came home and I helped her put the kids in her car after we had been playing in the snow for about 30 minutes, and I picked them both up, put them in the car seats, and then noticed the girl's gloves were wet so I asked her for them and I told her I needed to dry them off because they were so wet and I didn't want her hands to be cold. And then the mom asked her son, (who is 3 1/2) , "Aww, Julie is going to be such a good mommy, isn't she?" And the boy was like, "Yeah!" It was so cute. I can't wait to be a mommy, one day.

So for special/funny moment of the day:
I had just gotten the kids all suited up in their snow suits but since I got them ready first I told them they needed to wait for me to get ready to go (go pee, get my coat on, boots on, etc.) So I'm in the bathroom peeing with the door slightly open so I can hear what they are doing, and I hear the boy say "No! You can NOT make snow angels in the house! There is NO snow!" And I leaned forward and found the little girl lying on the wood floor making (well, trying) to make snow angels and her brother leaning over her trying to tell her not too. It made me giggle :)

YAY for good days :)

~A Writer in a Nurse's Body

Related Posts:

Unsurpassable Amounts of Snow

Babysitting and Lego Lessons

Picture of the Week-Parenting

Legos

I wonder when kids play with Legos or blocks, if they have a particular idea in mind? Or if they are just putting pieces together and imagining what it is they have now put together? Or if they are just put random pieces together just to see if they fit? Who knows. Maybe each kid is different. Maybe they are doing all of the above. I think they are creating as they go, because kids are strongest in imagining. I think for kids, one object can morph into many as long as they use it differently. Ryan, the kid I babysit (he is 3) made a tower of blocks, a single line of small blocks that went straight up. Id put in a picture, but my phone only let's me put in one pic per blog. Anyway, I consider myself to have a strong imagination. However this is a list of the things I would think this line of blocks to be, ( the mind of a 22 year old):
- a tower
- a building?
- a snake maybe, if you lay it on it's side?
- a tunnel?

Then I interviewed Ryan who was building next to me. What is that?
- first, word for word, it was a "master inside" ( I'm still working on figuring out what he meant)
- next he put it on my head and it was a funnel for my brain, lol.
-next he added a piece and then it was a dragon in an airplane!

The imagination kids live off of just fascinates me. They have nothing else- no clouded mind of an adult. They aren't clouded by concrete thoughts that bother adults- that a line of blocks can't be a dragon in an airplane. We think logically because that's what we know and that's how we are comforted.

Sit down and with Legos and make something. Anything. Do you find yourself creating something you have in mind? Or creating as you go? The first time I sat down with the kids to build, I wanted to build an airplane and I found myself frustrated because it didn't really look like an airplane. But today when I started to build, after many many times of building the last couple months, I noticed something different. I just started putting pieces together and hoped for the best. I loved it. So much less stressful.

I think we could all use this as an analogy in life as we go about our day. Maybe it's not so important to go about a task with a specific idea in mind, but more important to keep an open mind and to put pieces together. Let your subconscious create and watch what happens. Let go and try it sometime...

I would love to interview many different types of people as to what a simple Lego creation could be. I would ask a toddler or two, an elementary school student, middle school, high school, college, adult (single), adult (married), adult (with children- young), an elderly person and lastly, an elderly person suffering from dementia. I think that would be an interesting response. I would love to create this study. It would be a lot of fun. :-)

Go Legos!

Puzzle

Today me and the kids I babysit were cleaning up their entire living room because well, I like cleaning and we had nothing better to do. I delegated myself in charge of cleaning the puzzle pieces to many different puzzles, trying to organize them and put them together. I concentrated on this one simple puzzle about animals and you had to put two pieces together to make an animal, and there was about fifteen animals total. Problem was, I kept only finding half of each animal. I searched the whole room in hopes of finding the other halves but in that search I only just found more halves that needed a match.

This is how I feel with my entire life right now. I feel like I am trying to put together all these pieces, matching halves to make a giant collaborative whole. But everytime I search for "another half", all I find is another piece that needs to be fixed or needs attention or needs its half. I guess it's sort of a silly analogy and it's certainly an analogy my age group can relate to. We are all putting together our whole lives right now and frankly, it's scaring the s*** out of me. :-(

Sleep.

Sleep hasn't been very productive the last week.



I just keep tossing and turning, which is abnormal for me. But literally-I get into a comfy position and then (10 seconds later!) decide that it is definitely not going to work out, and turn to my other side. Its all about my head. Every time I put my head down it hurts recently, which is weird because it doesnt hurt when I'm doing something. My pillow has to be *just* right. Which rarely happens. Eventually I just fall asleep regardless of my comfortable-ness. And I've also been waking up at 5 AM very often and I'll get up, look out my window- (with my glasses on)- inspect my....lawn? trees? stars? and then decide that oh hey, It's 5 AM, continuing my sleep would be an excellent idea.


Thats about it. I dont even want to even talk about the state of confusion my heart is in right now. Heh--It's sort of on a....numb-break? Nothing is phasing me right now. I think I turned it off. Yep. I turned my heart off, so that It cannot be hurt. But that makes me not happy because I like it when my heart is on- I like to feel the heartbreak because It reflects in my writing, my painting...my exercise...Heartbreak is very powerful. But I can't just turn my heart back on. My subconscious self-defense system just shut everything down, after surviving the last couple weeks.


Back to school soon...I have a lot of mixed feelings about it. So many other friends are so happy about it. ANd don't get me wrong, I am ECSTATIC to be getting OUT of this house, and into my cozy single, where i can just be alone . QUIET! :-) I'm very much looking forward to it. But, I am having a very hard time finding the motivation to pack, (I think my heart being turned off has something to do with this whole lack of motivation whilly)-and Also, this is my last year in school. school for me means....still a kid? I guess? I am in the safety of my dorm room...the college.. All I have to do is work, do my homework, go to class, get good grades, eat, sleep, socialize (on occasion)....thats all. Its so simple. I just know as soon as May starts getting closer and closer, my stress level is going to go into Panic mode. Because next summer I have to take my NCLEX, and then, be a nurse. Which means I guess I really am an official adult. I'll be moving out. I'll have my own house...sort of. I'll have a JOB. It's very surreal and I cannot picture it. I hope my heart turns back on by then because i am definitely going to be needing it.


Gahh I'm sorry this is a long blog, but I just thought of something really happy. I took Ryan (3) and Ava (1) to the park to play. THey played alone most of the time alone, or together, until this adorable little girl comes over to RYan and very confidently says, "Hi! I'm Rachel! It is so nice to meet you!" And then went to stick her hand out and shook his hand. Ryan didnt know what to do- He was stunned! I didn't say anything- Just watched them interact, I was curious to see what Ryan would do. He said "My name is ryan." She responded with, "WOuld you like to be my playdate?" And he said, nodding, "Will you play on the dinosaur??" So, off they went, cute as a button, and played together for the next couple hours. It just absolutely made my day. I am beginning to really love Kids. Especially when you can see them go through developmental changes like that.

Au Revoir, ~A Writer in a Nurse's Body.

Determined

I am determined to make a blog post tomorrow.

I have a LOT on my mind. I'm just fantastically tired. Its bittersweet.




I wish I were in England, right now.





oh, and Potty training kids? Not. Fun.




OK I feel a little bit better. But I still have a lot on my mind. I should be sleeping.