Some People Just Don't Get It

I need only to repeat the conversation I had with a patient recently, and you'll see.


All you need to know: Diagnosis- Diverticulitis. Pt is on a clear liquid diet.


patient: Do you think they will advance my diet tomorrow?

Me: Most likely, depending on how your pain is doing, and how you feel. What they will do is move you up to a "Full liquid diet" first, and see how you do with that at breakfast time. If you do well you will most likely get regular food at lunch.

Patient: Whats in a Full liquid diet?

Me: Thicker stuff, more advanced than just clear liquids. Oatmeal, milk, pudding, those kinds of things.

Patient: oh. Thats a problem. I'm lactose intolerant. Like, severely.

Me: Oh, okay no problem. I will write that on your diet orders and they will find things for you to eat that is lactose-free. I am lactose intolerant too, so I'll make sure we find you something to eat.

Patient: Okay, awesome!
Me: How long have you been lactose intolerant?

Patient: Ever since they diagnosed me with diverticulitis, a couple years ago.

Me: I see. Yes the milk products would only aggravate your symptoms more.

Patient: Yeah usually the next day for me. But I really do just miss a nice cold glass of milk.  What do you miss the most?

Me: Oh, I miss pizza.

Patient: Oh, I eat pizza all the time.


Me: .......righteo then.



So much for "severely lactose intolerant". Granted, some lactose intolerants can tolerate small amounts of cheese, but those people should not qualify themselves as "severely lactose intolerant". Jeesh Mcgeesh.


~WNB

The Artist

Alright. So who else has seen recently Oscar-ified "The Artist" ??

Alrighty, lets back track.

I saw the preview for it initially, a couple of months ago. I squirmed my face at it, like I so often do, judgementally, when I don't like something.

I thought...."Oh!  A movie about an artist! Like me! Yayayayay! Artists everywhere yay! Oh wait...its a silent movie? A Silent movie? In 2012? A black and white movie???? In 2012? It legit looks like it was made in the 1920s. For real. I don't get it. Was it actually filmed in 2012 or is it like, a re-release? Are they going to re-release all the old films, just like they're doing with disney morphing through the 3D phase? Oh, god."

Despite me liking movies, a lot, I take shame in the fact that I was just never able to really get in to the "Classics" of our grandparents time. Believe me, I tried. I took a literature & film class, and saw I'd say the top 10 classics, and suffered through each one. Even Casablanca (hate me now, i'm sorry!) I just don't like the classicy feel of the film. I love color.

So then I went about my life, moved on.

Then the Oscars came. And I kept hearing this movie name. The Artist. And I thought to myself, is that the one that I shunned off the planet when I saw the preview?  Um, Yeah. It was.

So it came to my local independant theater. I saw it listed there for weeks. But I kept tossing the idea around.

I should go see it. I'll probably like it. After all, it wouldn't be all over the Oscars if the majority of its audience didn't like it, right? It has to be good. Or at least a little good. But its silent....and I have major ADHD....can I trust myself to sit through a 2 hr silent film and not fall asleep? Probably not. I like sound. I like sound a lot. You know what else I like a lot? Color. I like color. Can I get over not having color for two hours? I don't know. But its about an artist, right? I'll probably like it. And it has tap dancing, I know that. I like tap dancing. And John Goodman. He's cool. And 2012-ish. GO see it. Just do it. If you hate it, then oh well. Do it.



So, I went to go see it. Anddddddd, the only thing I'm mad about, is...WHY DIDN'T I GO SEE THIS SOONER?


It.was. ADORABLE.


Yes. I do have ADHD. I love sound and I love color, and yet I was perfectly entrapped for the whole two hours in this silent, black and white film that looked like it was filmed in 1930.


Being that lately I've strangely coincidentally been around a lot of people that majored in film and are going into the film industry, (and that I've taken one film class myself), I've picked up a couple things about artistic direction in film. That being so, I can confidently say that the artistic direction, symbolism and picture in "The Artist" is pure genius. Things are very carefully placed, the settings chosen perfectly. Being that it is silent, the actors have to work that much harder to convey emotion, and they did it well. Props must be used ever so carefully to help the audience show whats going on.

As for the music, It was used and not used in all the right spots. It was almost like the music was doing the talking. It was like,  "hey, in case you don't GET the fact that this scene is supposed to be really intense, let me make the music really super intense."

Plot, Incredible. I followed every minute of it and was at the edge of my scene in some parts. There were literally moments where I was surprised the movie took a certain direction, and parts where I was seriously wondering what was going to happen next. Thats saying a lot for a silent movie, I think. It kind of had a "42nd Street" feel to it, where you are watching how (in this case-a movie) is put together, so you see the characters playing multiple roles at different times, off screen and on so to speak.

Characters.....ah, the best part. Leads played by Jean Dujardin and Berenice Bejo, you fall in love instantly with the two of them, like you're supposed to. Berenice Bejo pulls you in the very second you meet her and you can't help but not stop looking at her the whole rest of the movie. Well casted, well casted. She is the center of the movie and it may not have lifted off as well without her enthusiasm, her obvious love for the movie, her smile, and her emotion. Amazing actress and I hope we continue to see more of her.

Any actress that is visibly able to portray what they are saying with only using their gestures and body language and lip reading, is a genius. I think so, at least.


I'm going to leave you this time with not a trailer- as I so often do. This is because when I saw the trailer, I squirmed my face, both times. It didn't make me want to go run and see the movie. I went because I wanted to see what all the hype was about. So instead I'm leaving you with my favorite (ADORABLE!!!) clip from the movie. Enjoy!

PS- Take it from me. I'm squirmy. I have horrible, horrible ADHD and hardly can't sit through anything. I don't normally like B&W or silents, ever. But this, this was awesome. Go.See.It. I promise you'll like it.



~WNB


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Oh, I Didn't Check the Blood Calendar...

Miller Keystone Blood Bank calls me. (This is a first).


me: hello?

MKBB: Hello! We are in an extreme shortage of your  blood type. Would you be able to come in soon to donate?

Me: Um.....yeah, how about tomorrow?

MKBB: Great!! Is whole blood okay?

Me: Yeah...I can also donate platelets too, if you need. Whichever you need more, I don't mind either.

MKBB: *pause* Well, we don't need platelets tomorrow. We're going to have a shortage of platelets on....Wednesday.

Me: Wednesday?

MKBB: Wednesday.

Me: But not tomorrow?

MKBB: Nope. We have enough platelets for tomorrow. Can you come in Wednesday?

Me: No. I'm busy.

MKBB: Okay, so whole blood it is, tomorrow.


Me: Okay then......



Does *anyone* else see that as weird, or am I just going crazy??




~WNB

Sheer Brilliance

So I have this 86 year old patient. When I first got her a couple days ago, I thought she was a little..."slow", because she never talked, didn't listen to us, did whatever she wanted to do, was confused, and kind of had a constant "dazed and confused" look to her. But after spending a couple of nights with her, I realize she's actually remarkably sharp.


We put her as a fall risk because my hospital flips out if anyone falls and we do everything we can to prevent falls. So basically even if you're 20 and in for the night, we'll find a way to peg you as a "fall risk". But regardless- This little lady was the epitome of what a fall risk should be. Confused, elderly, likes to pull her IVs out, unsteady on her feet, gets up on her own without calling, etc. Complete, high fall risk. So our hospital standard protocol is to put these little alarms on these patients that ring pretty loudly if it releases from the patient (i.e. the patient got up from the bed). The alarm is done by a string (old school) and is connected from patient to bed.

The alarm definitely worked for a couple days. It went off so many times that I was beginning to hear that tune in my sleep off-shift. But she was so active that there were times when we found her flying free around the room without the alarm having gone off because it wasn't put on. So even though we could see she was definitely getting her strength back and she was walking OK around the room by herself, we still wanted her to be a high risk because well......see above. We like everyone on fall precautions.



Well, last night I had to hand it to her. When I first got on shift, (literally- first five minutes), she was found sitting naked on the side of her bed, pulled IV out, took her heart monitor off. And she's smiling. Cool.

We asked her if she had to go to the bathroom. She shook her head no, said she just went. Also, cool. So we got her alllll situated back in bed, tucked in, comfortable and Definitely put that bed alarm back on. Securely. For sure.

Despite  the fact that she was forgetful and I was pretty much talking to Dori, I felt like it was worth trying. I sat down with her and slowly explained to her the importance of calling for help before she goes to the bathroom and we will come help her get up, etc. We shook on it and made a deal.


Well, go flippin figure, next time I come to check in on her, where do I find her?

In the bathroom. 

Why didn't the *trusty* bed alarm go off?

Because she unvelcroed it from the bed, and was holding the entire thing in her hand, so that the alarm wouldn't go off. Sitting on the toilet.


As mad as I was that she figured all of that out, I had to hand it to her. Never in all my six years of being in the healthcare field have I *ever* seen someone dismantle a bed alarm, nonetheless a confused elderly 86 year old. I have seen many many people take the clip off of themselves and keep the bed alarm at the bed so it wouldn't go off,which is smart, yes, but easy to figure out. But to take the whole thing off the bed is really thinking outside of the box.  I was truly impressed. I didn't even know she knew where the bed alarm even came from. But I still tried to act semi-responsible and mad. Kind of like a parent that is shocked his kid did something totally kick-ass awesome even though its totally not a good idea.


Thats all today. That was definitely the highlight of the night. In case you're curious, she actually behaved after that incident and actually sang multiple songs for us from her bed, all night. Not sure if she sleeps, ever. At all.





With love,

~WNB


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