Bug On a Page

Lets make one thing clear right now. There is one thing about me that I'm pretty sure will never change- And if it does change- then you can be sure the end of the world is coming. Probably.

When a bug flies anywhere within my twenty feet personal radius status, you might think I was training for the next alien form of martial arts, if you didn't know better. Between the high pitched squeals, running in every direction, and pointless swatting and protecting myself, you really might not have any idea what is truly happening.

I do not like bugs. I do not like anything that can crawl, particularly crawl on me. Besides babies. I like babies.

I think this fear started as a child when somewhere down the line we learned I was allergic to a bee sting. That instinctively taught me to how to run, and run fast- in general and away from all flying, crawling creatures. Particularly bees.

All this being said, there have been a couple times where I am reading outside, trying to enjoy my personal outdoor/reading time. I find outside time a personal enigma- being that I love the outdoors- I love the breeze, the sounds, the air, the smells, etc. But the outdoors comes hand in hand with....you guessed it, bugs. I'm afraid to lay on the grass because of them. Trees, tables, you name it. I'm constantly on the lookout. Total bug paranoia.

However, there comes a time on occasion where a small bug has landed on the page of my book. At first, my heart jumps- A bug! On my BOOK! A BUG! ITS A BUG! WAY TOO CLOSE. ITS CRAWLING.

But then I realize its so small.

And then my imagination kicks in as I watch the bug walk around the page. How interested, the bug seems....how interested it seems in the words on my page. As if he's actually reading it. So instead of letting my instinctual survival techniques of flinging the book ten feet away from me and making someone else go "make sure the situations all clear" before I return- I let the bug and I enjoy the same page for awhile.

Because, If I were reincarnated as a bug, ever, which- who knows-maybe this bug was a librarian in another life- I know I will make it my bug life goal to totally fly onto as many book pages as I can and read millions of words, strung together- plucked from thousands of stories. It would be lovely.

So believe it or not, I actually find it rather peaceful, allowing this small bug and I to enjoy the same page. I feel as If I made a connection with another living creature- kind of like when you realize your cat doesn't just want food from you- it actually likes you kind of thing. Sometimes, if I'm in a really good mood, I'll wait til he flies away until I turn the page.

But even that being said, I will never let anything bigger than the word "The" on an average font size walk around on my page. Ever. Especially bee's. A Girl's gotta have limits!

With love,

WNB

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Some Beach

Hey all, I think you all deserve a photography post? Because its been a bajillion years! Yes! My posts lately have been a little heavy on the topic matter and very nursy- and I like to mix that up. So, here are some of my favorite shots from the beach last week, jersey shore!

Jewelry, Jersey Shore Style

Rides aren't open yet...I love shots of empty parks...

Everything in the universe has a pattern, A purpose.

Describes me pretty well.

Ghost steps...

"Forgotten Monument"

Fly Away

Rundown love

excape artist

Our Sister Profession....

So myth or not, its been said in the past that nurses and police officers...well, we are sort of a sister profession. Although, yes- Our jobs differ immensely in certain aspects, we are similar in that:

• We help people. We both take an oath to always serve and protect, to do no harm.
• we both work really long, grueling, weird, crazy timed shifts
• We both know what each others job is like- We are both in the position to be professionals- to be calm and stern and not punch someone in the face when they really deserve it.
• We both know how to lay down the law and stand up for whats moral.

And, most important and most similar:

• We both deal exceedingly high amounts of bullshit on a daily basis. And still come back to work the next day.

It's been said that a sort of unwritten rule exists between nurses and cops that when we cross paths in an unfortunate situation (a nurse gets pulled over in her scrubs, or a cop ends up as a patient) we always "look out for each other", or help each other out more so than the average joe. Even so, that doesn't give nurses the free pass to do 100mph down the highway!


Anyway, the other night at work I received an admission- the patient was from the county jail, and whenever we get a patient from a jail- they are accompanied at all times by a police officer. This means the police officer has to stay in the room at all times with the patient. In the bathroom. At the bedside.


That being said, this patient happened to come up with two police officers, both young and muscular.  So even though we have known to be "Sister professions", we can be ever so brotherly. Me and the ER aide have to transfer the patient from the stretcher to the bed, and we're both rather tiny. And who's watching, but the two  cops, leaning against the heating unit? I totally called them out on it and threw gloves at them and they got my drift.


So I go through with my entire patient system assessment. The patient was admitted with a small bowel obstruction, and had an NGT tube (this means bile/food/poop is being drained out of his stomach through a tube and going to a little container). So I explained to the police officer what that was and how important it was that the patient didn't touch it. Then I noticed he started getting a little pale (the cop, not the patient). I smiled and continued on.

Then, when rolling the patient on his side- he (unexpectedly) let out the biggest, longest, wettest, loudest set of multiple bouts of "flatulence" ( to say it nicely). It was at this point that the police officer lost it and left the room.

He came back with "smell begone" spray, lol.


The whole situation oddly tickled my funny bone. :-)




~WNB



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Kind of Incredible

So under my care this week is an elderly gentleman, recently placed under the code status of: DNR. For my non-medical readers, this means one thing: If he were to die, if his heart were to stop beating, if he were to stop breathing, we would not do anything except say a goodbye prayer...we would not call a code, we would not start CPR.

In addition, we also placed this patient on something called "hospice care". This differs from a DNR based on the fact that a DNR says we won't do anything if he were to die, the term "hospice" means that we are going to stop all treatment to stop disease progression, and purely focus on helping him have no pain, until the moment he does die. Which, being that we stop fighting his disease (cancer), will be soon.


Now this case is common and yet all too unique (but isnt every patient?). This gentleman was diagnosed with cancer long ago and has spent years fighting this battle, as many have. He's had years to come to terms with his diagnosis, what he is doing...his life, his death. But just recently did they decide to change him to hospice...does this mean he gave up on life? No. It means he's done, he's done fighting. He's ready to face whats next.

Now, whats incredible, is the following: As an RN, all of the patients I've had under my care that have died- it was always unexpected. Sometimes I knew they may have been dying but didn't realize it was so close, other times it took me by complete surprise. Shock. They were supposed to have pulled through. I always thought, Oh my god- I was just holding their hand only two days ago. I was just taking care of them. Did I do everything I could have? If Only I had known they were going to die in days....would I have changed my care? WOuld I have stayed to sit with them longer? Would I have that "I'm sorry" look in my eye? Would that make it worse?

So, this is the first time (as an RN) that I have had someone under my direct care that knew, he accepted, the fact that death was upon his doorstep. Tomorrow, next week, next month, maybe.

It may seem strange, morbid even- to imagine this if you have never had the opportunity. Anyone who ever has had the opportunity and it was a loved one, I'm so sorry. To talk with someone, to take care of someone that could not be on this earth the next day and everyone knows it. Its not unexpected. To take care of someone, knowing you may see their obituary in the paper that week. To hold someones hand.


And, to answer my own questions- Yes. It did change my way of practice. Whether that be a good thing or a bad, I don't know exactly. Yes, we did have a small euphemistic conversation about his illness, about passing on. Yes, he was a little depressed and I sat with him a little longer. Yes, I didn't know what to say and it was obvious. Yes, I did have the empathetic look in my eye.


Yes, I did turn around after I said goodbye this morning, Yes- I did go back and give him another hand squeeze, to tell him it really was a pleasure taking care of him. He is probably going to be transferred today, so I told him it was a pleasure taking care of him, in case I wouldn't see him again. On the surface I was talking about if he got transferred before I got back. But we both knew what I was really talking about.

And he smiled.


Its not something you can ever take lightly, death. When someone is that close to whats next- that close to an eternity of darkness or perhaps an eternity of bliss, they are close. They know its coming. They can mentally prepare. It will never not be weird.




I hope its an eternity of bliss.



~ WNB



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