Life's Changing

Hey everyone! It's been a long time since I posted, yes- But good news! I closed on my house January 18th!! I CLOSED ON A HOUSE. I have to type it in capital letters because I'm still trying to get used to it. Right now, I'm sitting in my office. Yeah. My office. I own it. Well, technically the bank owns it, but I will own it in 30 years! Woot! I've been drastically busy, but having so much fun renovating and decorating the house. My weekends have still been spent working Fridays-Sundays, and my mondays-thursdays have consisted of either:

- Packing
- unpacking
- cleaning
- painting
- spackeling (sp?)
- cutting things
- staining wood
- applying stained wood to wall (well actually my dad did this- I'm not allowed to hold big machines that nail things to walls)
- Cleaning some more
- making to do lists
- moving furniture
- cleaning said furniture
- taping painters tape
- untaping painters tape
- cleaning things I've already cleaned, again
- applying floor tiles
- buying a lot of crap
- making a lot of friends at Lowe's
- buying a lot of magic erasers
- cleaning some more with those erasers
- making a lot of decisions
- painting second coats


...And it goes on and on. Getting up early and staying up late, every day has been full! But FUN!
 I know that these are the days I will cherish and look back on in ten years. I will marvel at how far I've come in comparison, and cherish the memories I'm making with my dad and my boyfriend as we renovate. It's been hilarious, fun, and a tremendous learning experience.

For example, here are some small, some big, all useful things I've learned in this whole experience:

- It's not that hard to buy a house, especially if you're a first time buyer like me. A lot of the stress comes from selling a house. Buying a house isn't terrible once you've picked it out and have the money to do the down payment. The rest is thousands of phone calls and a shitton of paperwork and deadlines, more paperwork and a lot of signatures. But its no big.
- It's not as hard as I thought to paint. But everything needs a second coat.
- I'm not a good enough painter to not use a drop cloth. *sigh*
- Almost anything in your home can be fixed with the right amount of money and sweet talking with employees at Lowe's and Home Depot. And asking nicely.
- Always sample colors before you buy in the gallon size. But I've noticed the samples are sometimes just a twad different from the real thing so be prepared.
- I learned how to stain wood!
- Always let the stain DRY before you try and touch something with it on, and try not to let it get on your bare skin, its really not fun to get off.
- Make sure your ladder is definitely sturdy before getting on and off it a million times. Like don't use the one you found in the garage that was there when you bought the house.
- Keep track of how much improvement money you are putting into the house.
- If you think a room is small, just put on and take off painters tape around the perimeter of the room, on the ceiling and floor. Your perspective will change.
- Make getting blinds a first priority!
- Rome wasn't built in a day.
- It takes 24 hours for spackle to dry.
- Don't take painters tape off until you're certain whoever painted what they painted definitely did their second coat.
- LABEL BOXES when you pack, it will make it SO MUCH easier to unpack and maybe your box with the silverware won't end up under 20 boxes in your office or bedroom.
- ITs your house, don't be afraid to be daring and create your own ideas/designs. Think outside the box!
- If you hear a noise, go check it out. Make peace. Learn about your house.
- When you hire any time of professional, follow them around and learn about your house and what they are doing. That way you know more about your house and you know how to do what they did. Ask questions!
- If you think you may have a ghost, make friends with it on day one. I got mine some pumpkin seeds and she loves it.  I'm only partially kidding.
-Almost anything can be cleaned with a magic clean eraser.
- Its not the end of the world if you get paint on the molding, trim, ceiling, etc. Either it wiples off easily, or you can go back with touch up paint.
- Just give in and get the MyLowes card. Preferably not on your last visit to buy paint...


Anyway, I'll probably add some learning experiences as I continue to work on the house. We're still not done painting, we need 40% of our furniture yet, and still so much CLEANING. I honestly never thought I had it in me to clean this much, but I guess you grow up a lot when you have your own house. I first noticed myself caring about cleanliness when I had my very first dorm room in college. I had a single, so it was all up to me to keep it clean. If I didn't, I always was mortified when friends stopped by and saw my messes. So I finally understood why my mom was always so adamant about cleaning the house when company came over. But then by the time I was a senior in my single dorm, I really didn't care about my rooms appearance. I would *maybe* clean it for my boyfriend HA! Just kidding, I would let my boyfriend clean it, lol. Then after college I moved into an apartment with a roommate and I noticed again that I cared about it being clean. I thought, hey wow- I'm actually paying to live here, I should keep it looking nice. Now in the house, my house, its worse than ever. Get this- I used to think people that insist you take your shoes off when you enter their house were being overly meticulous and afraid of dirt. Now that I'm the one that has to constantly clean/swift/mop up trails of mud and dirt around the house, I totally get where those people are coming from!

But anyway, 2013 will be a huge year for me. I've got to learn how to start cutting coupons and paying attention to sales. I've got a friggen mortgage now, which is scarier than anything. I've always been the kind of girl that's afraid of commitment, and having a 30 year commitment to anything is nerve wracking to me. But I'm ready for it. This feels right. I fell in love with the house when I first saw it, and I plan to put a lot of love into it.


Look for more updates on the house, more to come! Maybe I'll tell you my ghost story.


- With love,



~ WNB


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Not in My World

So this post is about an issue that has come up recently in my little nursing world. Very recently, only over the past week have I noticed it but it's happened 5-6 times in separate instances...


So in case you don't know my nursing history, I was an aide for five years until I graduated nursing school and was hired, at the same hospital as an R.N. For awhile I struggled accepting the differences between being a nurse aide and a registered nurse. I couldn't grasp the fact that now I had to delegate tasks to my coworkers that used to be the same position as me, but now they were beneath me. I knew how busy they were because I had been in their exact shoes. So I became determined to always try and do everything myself and only ask for help from the aides when my patients safety depends on it.

Then this year I came over to a new hospital, where it was a little easier to accept the boundaries between being an RN and the aide. I respect my new aides very much and still always try to help them out, even with patients that are not my own. I try and only ask for help when either I cannot do it or another patient needs me more or I just need an extra hand in the room.

 But recently, my patients (like I said, 5-6 different patients within the past week) have done something peculiar.

I go into the room to do my nursing assessment, or perhaps give them a medication of some kind. This one patient asked me the other day, "Do you have CNAs (nurse aides) or something?" I said "Yes, we do." She said, "Can you please send one in when you have a chance, I need some ice water." I looked perplexed, I  said back- "well I can certainly get you some ice water, I'll be right back." and she quickly said, "No no, you're the RN, you have much more important things to do. Send a CNA in." This was the first time I had ever heard something like this. I assured her I had the time to do it and I wanted to get her ice water and that I did.

A couple of other patients have done the same thing, and its only been recently. A male patient I had last night spilled a drink of water and needed a new set of napkins, and a towel to clean up the water. I said "sure, I'll be right back" and when I got back, he said, "you didn't have to do that, that is dirty work, i know you have more important things to do."

I looked up at him , almost incredulously- as this was the 5th or 6th this same instance had happened with other patients, and I assured him that helping him and making him feel better in any way was just as important to me as anything else. I don't mind doing anything, that is my job-regardless or not if it can also be the aides job. In fact I think I think it's even in my hospitals nursing policy that we do not leave any room without making sure the patient has everything they need and they are happy. If they aren't happy, we need to find a person with different capabilities that can make them happy. I don't know why my patients have gotten it in their head that the RNs are "better" than the aides. We aren't better. We just can do different things for our patients. Just like I don't necessarily consider doctors "better" than RNs, they just do different things. Sure, I respect the doctors I work with and they are obviously a vital part of health care. But so are nurses. And so are aides. Ok I've gone off on a tangent.

Anyway, my boyfriend has puppy eyes and is staring at me over top my computer screen waiting for me to finish, so I'm wrapping this up. Sorry for the short blog, I just wanted to write about it since its happened so many times recently....and it just doesn't fly in my world.


With Love, WNB



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Finally Enlightened

Hey! Wow, 2 blogs in < 48 hours! THats an accomplishment for me!

I hope everyone is having a good 2013 so far! I have a really good feeling that 2013 is going to be a life-altering year, in a really good way. I can just feel it.

I got a call this morning from my job offering me a deal to come in for day shift hours and I would be allowed to leave at 11pm , instead of 7 am, so that is awesome and totally is what I needed. I ended up getting out at 11:45 and got to hear the radio dance party on my local station. It was awesome being able to bop along to my favorite 2012 songs, even if I was in scrubs, in the car, and not at a party or anything. It was such an unexpected treat to even be able to listen to it in the first place since I was supposed to be at work. Anyway, so when the radio DJ count-downed( is that a word?) to midnight, and there it is just seconds after midnight and fireworks are going off in the distance as I travel down the road, and I finally felt it. I was euphoric. And what was this, was I actually crying?? Yea. I have *never* cried tears of happiness, ever. Never ever. Which made me cry even more because I was so shocked I was crying happy tears. I was just so happy that I wasn't at work, I survived hell week (between xmas and new years in healthcare) and did a really good job, my boss told me I was a really good nurse....and my favorite songs were playing. I couldn't stop smiling.

So THAT my friends is how I know 2013 is going to be a good year. Because after so long of my emotions being shut down, guarded from heartbreak, I can finally feel euphoria again. I cannot wait.

Anyway, my yearly tradition of resolutions! If you're new to my blog, every year I go through my prior years resolutions and comment on how I did. After that I write new ones. Unfortunately, I read through last years and not much has changed. But its tradition! The italicized are last years, the normal font is me commenting on it. Following the whole set are 2013's.


1) Have at LEAST half of my book #1 completely written by 2013. Part of me wants to say write the whole book by 2013, but....I'd rather be proud of myself for accomplishing a resolution than to not because I set the standard too high. So, yeah. Half the book. I think this is definitely possible.
Haha. That didn't happen. But I have a good excuse. Last year when I wrote this, I was working night shift on a 12 bed unit, and although we had our fair share of insane nights, most nights I had time to write a little when all my work was done and my patients were sleeping. Well, then the summer got really busy, and then I got transferred, and at this new place- I barely have time to pee. My home life  has been pretty busy as well :(
2) I need to learn how to go with the flow....I'm 23, I have to stop trying to PLAN everything. Stop trying to overanalyze everything and just......be. Just do. Accept new challenges. Accept new people in my life. Do new things. Play new sports.
I did a good job with this one! I joined racquetball! I stayed with it! I didn't quit! I joined tennis lessons! I got out and did things I was afraid of this year. I took a leap of faith with my new boyfriend this year. I screwed the logical planning of every single step of my life. I like my life a lot better this way.

3) I want to really focus this year on becoming a much better nurse. I want to do a lot of research on my practice, and really better myself in unique abilities. My hospital is offering the position of a "wound care champion" that I might look into. It would be nice to be exceptionally good at at least one thing among the amazing nurses I work with.
I did end up becoming a wound care champion at my old hospital! It was pretty sweet to be good at something, and to my new job I therefore brought the knowledge of how to dress a wound pretty awesomely. Sweet. Also, being on a cardiology floor has taught me SO MUCH in so little time and I can't wait to be a proficient cardiac nurse.
4) Along with number 3, in general (in nursing and in life), I need to learn to be more confident in my abilities. In my self. In my knowledge. In my instincts. This is really hard. I need to trust myself.
I have serious self esteem issues and I don't think I will ever learn to be completely confident in myself. I always question myself. I just hate to do things wrong. I still have to work on this.

5) I need to learn how to COOK! Not just any cooking, but I need to learn how to cook in general and cook for lactose intolerance specifically. So, I really need to get on this because right now my food groups consist of: Rice, beans, chicken, chinese food, fish & chips, vegetables, chicken tenders, fries, and smoothies. So, More variety needed? Yess.
Okay. This was hard. Thats still pretty much my entire food group, except I eat less chinese food now, less fries, less tenders, and less fish and chips. So I basically eat: Fruit, veggies, BREAD (so bad), Thai food, chicken, rice and lactose intolerant specially made products. Sooooooo, yeah. HOWEVER, I have a lot of influential people in my life that have been teaching me how to cook real things. I've dated two people this past year that loved to cook and worked with my allergies and taught me how to make some good meals. My grandma is a great cook and did the same for me. My aunt has also been guiding me through some really dumb questions online! With buying a new house soon, I'm going to have a full kitchen to myself that I need to use! Goal: next year, I'm making thanksgiving dinner all by myself :)



6) I need to learn how to love again. But at the same time, I need to learn how to just be ok with me. I need to get to know myself better before I let myself attach to anyone else at this point. I feel like right now, when I "attach" to someone, or see someone, they are dating an empty vessel of a girl that needs to figure out a lot right now. I am in here, I promise. Just need to work on my firewall right now, let people in. Its a new year. New beginnings. Let our endings go. Forever, and ever, and hit the ground runnin! Woo.
I did this! I so did this! I'm doing it! I dated a couple young gentleman in 2012 but there was always something that was off.  After a couple bad experiences, I decided it was impossible to meet new people working night shift and the only other thing I did was go to Barnes  & Noble, the gym and out with my family and girlfriends. Plus, strangers don't meet and start dating anymore nowadays. And my friends tried setting me up and it just wasn't working out. So I threw in the towel and joined the ever so promising eHarmony. And within three weeks of my membership (and a lot of conversations), I met my amazing boyfriend. He lives in the town right next to mine, yay! We had talked online and through texting for about two weeks, until we decided to have our first date on a Wednesday. By that Friday, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. So it went really fast but everything just felt right. Which is huge for me, because I'm very picky. He is one of the main reasons I think my heart is opening back up to feel emotions. I held true to myself and am comfortable with myself, I know myself pretty well and I am strong. I don't believe in 1/2 and 1/2 makes 1 when it comes to partners. I believe in 1 + 1 makes 2. We do not complete each other, nor should we. Nor should anyone, because then what are you without them? We are each our own unique person, our own soul, our own complete set of strengths and weaknesses, and together we bring that to the same table and combine from there.

7) I already am doing this, but I want to draw a LOT more. I already have drawn so much since school let out and I love it. I also want to do more with my photography this year. Like sell it. Big time. :-) On that note, look for a photography post sooN! I am WAY overdue!
I drew a LOT this year. I got a drawing desk!!!! Its the best!!!!!!  I've been on a drawing hiatus because I've been so busy but I plan to go back full force this spring. My new house has room for my own studio :) Oh, and I still owe ya'll that photography post...ha



Alright so here's what I've got for 2013. I haven't thought about my resolutions until literally right now. Usually I think about this blog for like a week. Soooooo, here goes.

1) No more sugar. This is something I've been trying to do for a couple of months now, but it's so HARD. What I mean by no sugar is no OBVIOUS sugar. I still plan to eat fruit. What my problem has been, is raspberry friggen Iced tea. That stuff is packed tight with sugar and I've become addicted to it. I've also gained like ten pounds. I also eat more bread than..........Peeta Mellark. I seriously love bread. Its bad. I don't want to eat any obvious sugar. It will be hard, but I can do it. At least cut out 80% of it?

2)Lose weight. I am uncomfortable with my body and have to change. I come from a past of not being good enough for those I loved. My boyfriend now tells me he loves just the way I am and that makes me so happy but I can't stand the way I feel, the extra jiggles and lovemuffins. I hate the mirror.  So, by 2014 I plan to be holding steady under 130lbs. I'm 145 now. I can do that!

3) Budget- Budget- BUDGET. Buying a new house, its not like an apartment. There is no escape plan this time. If I couldn't handle the rent at any point, I could have left at anytime. Not with a mortgage. I have to cut coupons. And actually pay attention to sales. I have to think twice about buying 6 books that will sit on my bookshelf. I can do it.

4) Keep my damn car and room clean. WHY IS THIS SO HARD. I have the cutest little sports car, which looks awesome from a distance and then people get in it and realize its not suitable to non-julie human survival. Sad.

5) Join a badminton team . Join a swimming team.

6) Be smarter. Although I AM a LOT smarter as a nurse now than I was last year, there is still so much I don't know. I so badly want to be the nurse that the new graduate comes and gets and says "can you help me?" and I can just come in and teach and finally know everything and put it to good use. I want to maybe start school this Fall for my nursing MSN. I want to research more about my patients conditions.

7) WRITE MY GODD*** BOOK!


Thats it, folks!! Love you all!
HAPPY 2013!!!!!
Make a difference. Make it your own.



__WNB



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Appreciating the Moments

Wow...So I don't even know where to start. I know I haven't written in awhile and that bothers me, in more ways than one. I haven't written on here in awhile and I haven't written written, like on my novel and that makes me sad. I remember awhile ago (like in the summer maybe?) I remember saying how busy I was, and I couldn't wait for the fall when things would calm down some....well, things are busier than ever and life is moving faster than I can even watch it.

This is going to be a long blog, I think. So 1) I apologize, and 2) like I always say, go get some popcorn and make yourself comfortable.


Let's start with life updates and then I'll focus on the title of this blog. Maybe they will relate to each other, maybe not. Then again I'm running on 5 hours of sleep right now and earlier tonight I was thinking maybe I was having a stroke because I was delusional and words were coming out of my mouth before I could catch them. I do that a lot when I'm really tired. Its remarkable how much the brain changes on a lack of sleep, and quite scary come to think of it, considering I'm a nightshift nurse. Hmm....

Anyway, life updates. So I'm buying a house! I know, crazy, right? It's absolutely insane. I'm 24 and if you told me when I was 14 "In ten years you're going to be a successful college graduate with a good job and buying a house by yourself", I can guarantee I would have laughed at you. And then probably would have gone to burger king or written some teenagery post on my xanga.

But yeah! Everything in my life so far has been.....like right place/right time kinda thing. Everything bad thats happened to me has opened up a brighter door, even if that door didn't open for a long time. So this sort of falls under the same circumstances. The entire situation started from something I didn't know how I was going to get through, to now I'm buying a house because of it. The same push that knocked me down to the ground is the exact same push that gave me the courage to actually get a realtor and now I'm closing on a house. I honestly didn't think I'd be buying a house until I was in my forties. I thought thats how it worked. I guess I'm still a kid because I don't consider myself an adult that can buy a house. Ah!

So thats my big update. It's amazing and all but holey moley crapbeans, buying a house is stressful. I'm probably an idiot for buying a house and starting a new job all in the time span of about 3 months. Smart, I know.


As for the new job....thats been....interesting. Like my old job, there's been some shifts where I leave and I'm like "I know I chose the right profession". It's those shifts where you do everything right, go above and beyond  and feel awesome about it, your patients tell you they love you, you help your coworkers, your boss is like "Yeah good job!" and everything is just awesome. And maybe throw in a really nursy emotional moment you have with a little old lady or something and its icing on the cake.

But then there are those shifts where you SERIOUSLY question why you ever would have wanted to not only put yourself through four years of tormenting nursing school just to deal with crabbypants doctors, deal with patients (or family members) that call the police because they pooped in their bed and couldn't find their call bell (that happened), or tell you you just aren't good enough despite doing the best you can, having 7 patients every night, dealing with a lot of WTF is going on situations, etc. And there's been more of those shifts than the good ones lately. And like the typical human condition, we always remember the bad memories which totally override any good memories.

I've been realizing lately that I have some serious issues I need to get over, and STAT. I am a perfectionist when it comes to my job. I care about my job. I care about my patients, deeply. I'm a hypochondriac with my own body and this translates to extreme anxiety when it comes to my patients. They complain of new pain and I'm automatically thinking OMG they're gonna end up in the OR by the end of the night. Thank goodness after a 1.5 years of being an RN, I'm finally beginning to know the differences between serious symptoms and symptoms that may appear to be serious but aren't. But back to my serious flaws, I am the type of nurse where I hate leaving shit behind for other nurses, I hateeeeeee giving medications late or letting a patient down when I said I'd be there at a certain time but end up not being able to. I hate when the computer yells at me for giving something late and it's all like "WHY ARE YOU GIVING THIS LATE?" and there's no option to write in, "because my other patient couldn't breathe and I was swallowed in another room and I HAD MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO". It sucks. So I try and finish everything and be everywhere at once and solve every problem. I don't ask and I hate asking when I have to, for help. I hate admitting weaknessess in myself and asking for help. I try and do everything on my own and its going to be the end of me one day.

I also have a problem with appreciating the good times, hence my blog title. I always thought that I related to President Obama in a way that I heard once from someone that he finds it hard to feel extreme emotions. He's always calm and cool, he's neutral. He doesn't feel extreme sadness, anger, but also doesn't feel extreme happiness either. And that's how I am and I hate that. Hate it.

I cannot tell you how many times I've been in the middle of a shift, and thought;
"man I cannot wait to be in my bed later, it is gonna be so amazing" or
"I can't wait to blast my favorite song on the way home and wind down from all this" or
I see a patients tv and its a good show and my patient is enjoying it and I'm just like, "how much do I seriously want to be at home just chilling watching tv? THe next time I chill and watch tv, I'm gonna think of how lucky I am."   But then.....when I finally get to my bed, when I'm finally done with my shift and blasting my music on the way home, when I'm finally just chillin watching tv, I don't think of how much better it is, because I carry home the sorrow and anxiety from my job. I drive home like a super zombie, my mind reeling from what I did wrong or right at work. When I watch tv, I just get lost in the show and watch it like a zombie. When I have a day off, I let myself get stressed of the shit-ton amount of things I have to do that day, that I don't even enjoy it, because hey- I'm not at work at least. So I have to work on that this year coming.

I started noticing this in myself when I first saw a baby being born. This was a moment I dreamed about for a long time, one of the BIGGEST reasons I went into nursing in the FIRST place. All I wanted was to see a baby be born. But about 3 years ago when I finally got the opportunity, it was happening right in front of me- I was all decked out in the scrubby gear, I saw the whole thing happening and I just stood there watching. There was no euphoric moment in my head. Sure It was a lovely thing happening, but in my mind I wasn't freaking out like "Oh my god this is actually happening".  Nope.

Ever since then I've noticed this a lot on multiple examples.

The only way I can seem to find enlightenment or euphoria, is when I surprise myself. It can't be something I've been looking forward to. It has to be something I decide to do last minute, something that surprises myself and everyone else. It usually involves a journey of some kind, like when I was driving home from Long Island one time and just decided (literally last minute before the exit) to just go to the beach. Being on the beach that day by myself, walking along the ocean waters, one of my most enlightened moments ever.

I'm not perfect, I get that so much. But I try so hard. Too hard, And I have to learn to let that go. Because humans aren't perfect. But somehow I've got it stuck in my head that I have to surpass normal humanity and be a superwoman.

Which is funny, I actually just giggled to myself just then, (that could be because I'm really tired), because if you saw my room right now you would NEVER EVER peg me for a perfectionist. My room is literally not sustainable to most forms of human life except me. I would normally try and blame it on the fact that I'm back in my parents house while I wait to close on the new house, and all of my belongings are shoved into this little room with me along with the stuff my parents moved into here as an extra storage room since I moved into my own apartment, BUT I really can't because my rooms normally a mess anyway. *deep breath that was a really long sentence*.

Back to the point, I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my performance, in all areas of my life. In my relationship. In my job. In my friendships. I always try and prove to the people that love me that I am a worthy friend, I am a good girlfriend (I usually fail miserably on my face on that one just ask my boyfriend), or I try and prove that I am a good nurse. I am usually very generous, and this past Christmas I could only get people very limited gifts because of money and that killed me. It seriously hurt my heart and I'm still feeling bad over it. My boyfriend hates how I can never remember stuff he told me already and I hate that I can't be perfect, the model girlfriend. In nursing there will always be moments where no matter how hard you try, something will always fall through the cracks. You give extra attention to one friend one day and then the next day another friend chews you out for not spending enough time with them.


I know I said above that I don't let myself feel extreme emotions usually. But there have been so many instances in the past month and a half where I felt like I was seriously in over my head and I was about to lose it. And I usually, usually can contain myself, keep my cool even if my plate is overfull, but its when something really small goes wrong on top of everything else is what tips over the edge.



*sigh* . Sorry for the sad ish post. It wasn't all sad, was it? OK yeah it mostly was. Sorry. I say sorry way too much too. I have to work on that as well.

Don't get me wrong, I have an amazing life. Like I said, everything in my life has happened for a reason. I have a great job, good pay that's stable, I am like 92% healthy (lol), I have the most amazing boyfriend that makes me so happy, I have the most supporting, nurturing nuclear and extended family, I have some of the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I have a good life.

I just saw the movie "This is 40" tonight, and despite its comedic nature, it really hit on a serious topic. Or maybe I just thought too much into it. It showed really well that everyone is under their own ridiculous amounts of stress, and we all try and hide it, we are all about to blow up but we all try and keep our cool. No one knows what another person is struggling with, and we all try and put so much crap for other people to deal with, not realizing how much they already have to deal with. People accuse others of "not understanding" or "you don't know what its like!" or "you do nothing all day" but they really could be struggling with anything, you just don't know it. So have patience with everyone. Be nice to everyone. Try and see the best in people, I try to (Sometimes its hard, I know). Trust people even when you know you shouldn't. Have a little faith and go with it.


So I'm going to leave with you with one of the most famous and most helpful prayers that got me through one of the shittiest shifts last night (that ended in tears- there's real emotion for ya),

"God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

That prayer is perfect and applies to so many aspects of my life. Nursing, relationships, and just life.


If you've made it this far, you get.....a gummy worm..........ok well you would if I had some. It was really just the first yummy thing I thought of. But you get my love, that's for free. Gummy worms are expensive.


With so much love,


~ WNB


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