Tired, but better!

So today...today was interesting. I confronted failure--I got a bad grade on a previous written assignment that I thought I had done really well on. Not only did I do less-than satisfactory, but the teacher ripped it apart in front of everyone (the 7 of us) and had the nerve to be sarcastic and edgy about it. But something was different about it. I sort of took the grade...and just dealt with it? I mean yeah, I went through the normal stages of panic/anxiety/planning my back up for the rest of my life if nursing doesn't work out plan, but then I hit the point where I was like....Ok, thats over. Next? Which is really good progress, in my opinion. I guess at this point, I've already hit my rockbottom, I'm on my way back up, the semester is almost up, and I really don't care? Perhaps. But probably not...I do care. Who knows.

But today, that put aside, was good otherwise. I spent my entire morning in the psychiatric ward (for class), and spent the majority of my time there with my patient, a schizoaffective (newly diagnosed--oy). So needless to say, that was an interesting experience!! But i learned a LOT, and learning like that will always beat learning from a textbook. Not that I can honestly say I've opened the psych textbook more than twice, due to the fact that Med/Surg has taken all of my attention...

I also got to do art therapy with the psychiatric group today, there were about 6 patients, another student (whom I really like), and me. I was estatic when the therapist gave her and I a picture to draw too, being that I love art, and I probably need therapy. But my teacher told us "Dont draw anything too horribly depressive--The last thing I need is for a student to have a meltdown right now"----How nice, thank you for those kind, kind words.

Then I came home, went to the gym, ran off all that extra crap/stress, felt good, then got to sit outside in the nice sun and study (sort of :) ) . Running feels so good...Well I mean I really don't like it when I'm doing it, but I definitely feel its effects the whole rest of the day. I feel in a better mood, happier...I feel like I can think more clearly, I feel less tired, I feel like I get less headaches/stomachaches, and I feel less hungry. And when I do eat I feel inspired to eat healthier. And this makes sense to me, because the past week and a half I haven't gone to the gym....and, well you can put two and two together.

I should be studying right now...but I just can't seem to look at it today. Everytime I try I look at it and read at most a paragraph and then think I cannot possibly continue, it is far too boring. I lost my study-mojo. Not good....

Well I am proud of myself for what I would like to call a good day, and I came back on to write a second day in a row. Lets shoot for a therapeutic third! :)

~A Writer in an (overwhelmed) Nurse's Body <3