is way more fun. My body feels that it is more fun to continously keep rolling around in bed, than to sleep. I have to be up in....5 hours. so I can chase kids around til 2. I had way too much caffeine today. Stupid headaches.
I really might go outside and watch the stars. I wish we still had our swingset, as dorky as that sounds, I wish I could go sit on the swings and watch the stars. I just wish I had someone to do it with. I don't. I can't. I won't.
I need to find a way to reverse the effects of caffeine--fast. Geez, I took the Excedrin at like 5:00. Seriously. I'm already hyper without any help, and with caffeine not only do i have physical hand tremors but my mind is seriously like- wired- thoughts flying like crazy, keeping me awake. Thinking too much is very dangerous.
I am so frigggen HUNGRY. its 1 am. Why am I hungry? No clue. I have been such a bum-poop this week in terms of my weight loss regimen. i havent weighed myself in over a week but I can tell its not going well. And of course, the whole reason I wanted to lose weight this summer, is this saturday. THe worst week possible for me to be a total bum-poop. bahhh. I need to figure me out soon.
I think I need to get my ass back to school, I seriously cannot wait. I think that will help a LOT. Get out of this house, be on my own again....away from all this...heartbreak that surrounds me here. A day does not go by that I do not wish to go sit in my car and scream as loud as I can because no one can hear it. One of the few places that I can just be alone. There is one particular thing pressing on my heart right now and it is the most frustrating thing (actually thats a lie-I've been through tremendously worse.). but it is pretty heartbreaking still.
Ok-- attempt number....3 ....to shut my brain off and sleep. And stop thinking about food. Geez.
10 + Years in Nursing In Medical Surgical, Women's Health, Telemetry and Informatics.
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