"When you get those rare moments of clarity, those flashes when the universe makes sense, you try desperately to hold on to them. They are the life boats for the darker times, when the vastness of it all, the incomprehensible nature of life is completely illusive. So the question becomes, or should have been all a long... What would you do if you knew you only had one day, or one week, or one month to live. What life boat would you grab on to? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Day 2 as an RN: Overcoming Fears
So.....day 2. I survived. I'm still sort of gathering my thoughts....
I got my own patient! But he was not complicated at all, and all I got to do with him was some education, an initial assessment, lots (and lots) ((and LOTS)) of meds, IV meds, piggys, primarys, subqs, and other fun stuff like that. Felt *just* like I was back in clinical. Which is OK.....because at least I don't have my intimidating teacher looking to fail me anymore. Now I have a preceptor trying to teach me and make me a good nurse, and she trusts me (probably a little too much) to do a lot on my own. So, thats good.
The biggest hurdle I have yet to cross is getting over whatever I fear I have of doctors. Okay, It's not that I'm afraid of doctors. It's just in my personality code that I:
1) hate to bother people
2) hate to talk on the phone
3) have trouble understanding diction...especially heavier accents =\
So, ^^ all that is pretty much all doctorness. I don't mind at all talking to doctors in person. I am a very personable person and I understand nonverbal communication so much better than over the phone. I don't care if you are furious with me, I'd still rather talk to you in person than on the phone. I hate the phone. Hopefully that will change. That has to change. Nurses are on the phone just as much as they aren't.
Today I was only working with one doctor since I only had one patient. Luckily I got to see him on the floor so I took advantage and snuck in there and got to introduce myself while asking him to change a patient order (that sounds so awesome and nursy official but it really wasnt lol). And so then a couple hours later I had to call him again and get an order verified to continue it. Well, I did not want to call him. But my preceptor felt it was time I get over it and get on the phone and start calling the doctors. She reminded me that if I don't call, then I'm not looking out for my patient.
Luckily during our quick 40 second phone conversation, I didn't say anything too entirely stupid, I understood him (most of the time) and I got what I needed.... But it was still not preferable.
I guess at this point its just a matter of learning what each doctor is like, their personality, when you can call them, when you can't, what you can call them for, or should you call their intern? Funny thing is night shift won't be so bad because unless your patient is dying, chances are the residents will take care of what ever you need. And the residents/interns are usually closer to my age, just as clueless as me, and in the same boat (ok different boat, but similar), and we work together. Together is key. If were both equally as clueless, lets work together with our different knowledge bases and solve this together!
Anyway, my other hurdle is putting in an IV. Tomorrow is day 3 and its about time I at least attempt my first....so, I'll update on that tomorrow. =\
It's funny how in nursing school my biggest fear was anything to do with the IV system. Piggy's, primarys, tubing, or whatever. My teacher always made it seem to frightening. But now I love working with them. It all makes perfect sense now and I don't understand why I ever thought it was scary. So, thats good! I knew I would get my technical skills down fast, its just a matter of learning reasoning behind actions, remembering everything, doctors, knowing what to do in emerging situations, etc....it will all come with time, I hope! It's only day 2 and I think I'm expecting my personal performance to be at day 124,111,293. I'm a perfectionist I guess and I can't sleep at night if I know I did something wrong with, on or too my patient. So I also have to learn that mistakes do happen and thats how we learn and become great nurses. And, no one is perfect on day 2. Right?
So, tomorrow, pretty much just a repeat of today except hopefully can do better, be more on top of things, and hopefully get my first IV stick.
Thanks for reading! To my non-nursing affiliated readers, I am sorry! I hopefully will come out with a non-nursy post soon, this weekend perhaps. What would you like to hear about? A funny story? Some photography? Writing? Just an update on my life? :-)
~ WNB < 3