Happy Nurse's Week!

Ah my profession has a week! This is cool!

I've always known about nurses week....well, for the past six years that I've worked in a hospital I've known- that is. But this is my first year that I actually get to celebrate it, as an official nurse. Way cool.

And this is the first year that I'm noticing society celebrating it, too! Which shocks me. I mean, Its one thing for hospitals to celebrate it.....but society? Non-medical people? For example, in the mall today I did a total double glance- I was walking past "Cinnabon" (food) and I noticed a sign that said "Nurses week! Bring in your hospital ID badge, all nurses get a free cinnabon roll!"

I was shocked! Fo realz?

And then my local radio station is having this huge luncheon for just nurses. Cordial invite and everything..... They have been advertising it for about a month now. Thats super nice! Unfortunately, I can't go. Because I work. Nurses don't get off work for nurses week, lol.



Anyway, being that a lot of my friends on facebook are also nurses, I have been seeing quite the medley of hilarious "memes" as they call them nowadays. So I want to share the funniest ones I've seen. Please keep in mind, I did not make these, I do not know where they originated from nor who the maker is.

This is definitely my favorite. I see it in a hugely sarcastic tone and I love it.

I want to tell this to the cops that pull me over (ever so rarely, of course).

Sad, but exceedingly true.

If only our patients were actually this considerate.....

As for good news on my end, my hospital is starting this new thing to prompt......eh...competition? Hard work? Good customer service? About a month or so ago they announced they would be giving out awards based off nominations from peers to nurses and supporting staff that excelled in that particular award denomination.  So, somehow- I'm not sure how- (other than the fact that my nominating peer wrote a killer essay to nominate me)- how I won. But I won! I got an award for being a "rising star nurse", qualifications being a nurse under two years, and shows exceeding potential for future excellence. So, that kinda made my day week month year?! "  :-) I'm super stoked and honored.


On other happier notes, I seem to have a super duper outlook on my future job prospects...I've been interested in getting my MSN in nursing informatics, and today the head of the informatics team at my hospital told me herself she is retiring and her along with our Vice President of Nursing  said that they are looking into me to come into the department and maybe eventually fulfill her duties. Which is totally terrific!! Lots of door openings today!!!!!

So I have to super speed up my MSN. Must start applying now, ahh!

Lots of good news today. I am super blessed to be living this wonderful life. I have my own place, I have a full time job in my college major study, I have a lot of doors opening for my future, I am healthy, I have phenomenal friends, I have exceedingly phenomenal coworkers (those two overlap), I have the best most supporting family...what more could I really ask for?!



I hope all nurses weeks to come are this wonderful! :D

Happy Nurses Week Everyone! Try not to get peed or pooped on this week, you owe that to yourself ;) Duck the punches!


With love,

A Writer in a Nurse's Body


PS- Please remember the memes are not mine! I do not own a copyright to them. Google them. Re-post them, I dont care!



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Most Epic Blood Donation Fail Ever

So I  like to donate platelets. It takes about 90 minutes, and the collection center by me gives you a DVD player to sit with during and watch any movie (that they provide) that you want. Snacks galore, free. All you have to do is give them your arm and squeeze a squeegee every 10 seconds.

So here I am, trying to donate. The nurse I had that stuck me was new (i think) and didn't get a great vein. The machine kept beeping and they couldn't get it to flow (I also have weird veins). They called over their more expert nurses to try and get it to work and no one could. So, they said the words I thought they would never say- "We can't use you today."  I thought.....aren't they desperate for blood? Didn't they- CALL ME- Asking if I can *please* donate my blood type? And now they're giving up?

I asked them, well- "Can't we try the other arm?"

Nurse: "No."

Me: "Why not?"

Nurse: "because we can't."

Me: "Okay. Well can I still try and donate whole blood, then?"

Nurse: "No."

Me: "Why not?"

Nurse: "because its our policy. We tried you once already today we can't keep trying."

Me: "Okay. Fine...."


So I closed my nifty DVD player, and off I went.

Nurse: "Oh, but m'am- we still ask that you sit in our little snack area- being that we did take some blood out of you."

Me: "-_-"  (facial expression)



So if you ever have donated blood, you know that the snack area is usually composed of elderly volunteers that like to talk your ear off and get you snacks. You are given a slip after you donate that marks the time you finish, and the time you can leave- So they can make sure nothing happens to you. They still gave me the full time to sit and wait, even though I donated an 1/8 of the regular donation. But the little elderlies don't know this, nor did I feel like explaining it so I could ditch early.


Volunteer: "What can I get you to drink?"

Me: "Oh, nothing- I brought ProPel to drink from home."

Volunteer: "Oh. Well I'm supposed to offer you something.....Soda? Chocolate Milk? Coffee?"

Now, I can't drink any of those, being that I'm allergic to everything. So I take a look at their fridge, their contents open for everyone to see because it had a clear door, like a vending machine.

Me: "Um.....Okay.....Can I have some orange juice then?"

Volunteer: "Oh, no. We're not allowed to give out the orange juice."

Now, here I thought she was kidding- being that she was already giving me a hard time about picking a beverage out. But she wasn't.

Me: "Um...?"

Volunteer: "Its a new policy they made the other day. See, it says so right up there (in fine print), that they did a study out in TimBuckToo that says orange juice after blood donations causes upset stomach.


THis is where Volunteer #2 steps in: "Well, if we can't offer it then why is it visible? I think if it should be visible then I can't possibly say no. Thats a tease. We should give it away. We can't throw it away."

Volunteer #1 (says to me): "Do you want to take home the orange juice?"

Me: "Um..."

Volunteer #2: "You can't ask her if she wants the orange juice after you just said she couldn't have it!"

Here pipes in another prisoner waiting at the table, "Um....I had the orange juice From Volunteer #2, and my stomach is fine."

Me: "Yeah, actually I barely got to donate- So I think I'll be fine."

Volunteer: "Okay fine, but I'm giving you a little. And if you get a stomach ache, I warned you."

Me: "Got it, thanks."

So here is where I pull out my allergen free cookies from home to munch on. I bring these because I can never usually eat the junk food they offer to replenish sugar levels after donating.

Volunteer: "Oh, you brought your own cookies?"

Me: ".....yes."


Volunteer: "Oh. Are they sugar free?"

Me: "No. Dairy free."

Volunteer #2: "oH, are you a diabetic?! I am too."

Me: "um....No. The cookies have plenty of sugar I'm sure. I am not a diabetic. They have no milk...because I am lactose intolerant.

Volunteer: "Oh.....my cousin's aunt's brother's friend is lactose intolerant. He has a terrible time with it."

Me: "Yeah......."


Volunteer #2:  "Oh!!!! We have these cookies over here that are GLUTEN-FREE! Do you want THEM?!"

Me: "Um, no thank you. I can eat gluten."




And that is how you make friends.





 ~WNB


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Sounds Way too much Alike....

So I'm standing at the nurses station, awkwardly drinking my ritualistic tea- listening to my coworker speak with a family member of one of her patients...

Family: "he needs a doctor in the room right now! I want to see and speak to a doctor!"

Nurse: "okay, sir- I'll call the hospitalist."

Family *horrified look*: "YOU'RE CALLING HOSPICE????!!!"

Nurse: "no! The hospital-IST! It's a doctor. To help him.. Live."


Most awkward family/nurse encounter ever.

But it's true, the two words do sound alike...



_WNB


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Most Awkward Moment of my LIFE

I just happen to have been born and raised about 20 minutes from the hospital I work in. That being said, I think I can count on ONE hand the amount of times I bumped into a patient that I had, outside of the hospital. We aren't a very big county, but somehow we are big enough that I didn't think this happens. Then again, I don't live in- nor have I ever- the actual town the hospital is in.

Apparently, seeing patients outside of work is a daily occurrence for employees that also live in this small town. I was not aware of this.

So the other day, my superawesomeincredible nurse aide needed a ride home. This nurse aide happens to live in the same very town as the hospital, not far. So we happen to be at a stoplight.....chit-chat, observing the surroundings in front of us. I see two men sitting on a front stoop, one is wearing long-johns and flannel coat, the other in a suit and boots. Otherwise there wasn't much going on. But the following went down:

Coworker: "Well that guy sure looks spiffy."

Me: "yeah. Must have an interview or going to work or something."

Coworker: "Yeah......hey....wait a minute...Isn't that SoandSo?!"

Me: "Who?"

Coworker: "We had him as a patient, a month or two ago."

I take a closer look, visualize him in a patient gown....

Me: "Oh my god isn't that the guy from the jail?!"

Coworker laughs, "Yeah- he's always in and out for traffic violations. I wonder why he's looking so spiffy today he's got nice boots and everything..."

Me: "OH! MY! GOD!"

Coworker: "....what?"

Me: "I.....sucked POOP.....out of THAT GUYS stomach! And now he's standing in a suit, across from me on the street!"

Coworker: "You did what...?"

Me: "You know.....an NG tube and all..."







it was seriously the funniest, most awkward, most enlightening and most awful moment of my entire....week. It will NEVER not be weird seeing patients outside the hospital....knowing what I know about patients, remembering what I've seen them do, spit up, poop out, etc. Weirrddddddd.








~WNB



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